Better late than never. It has been a quiet summer and somehow July almost passed without a Virtual Lushary. No imaginary lemon drop shots. No invisible bottles of microbrewed beer. Not even a non-existent latte for the last six weeks.

But I’m throwing open the doors today to squeeze in one last Lushary before it becomes August. So please stop in and let us know what has been happening with you.

As always, it has been a little over a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life EXCEPT if that update involves Harry Potter since I haven’t finished yet. There are many, many exciting pregnancy announcements to toast, new paths to parenthood to cheer, and, unfortunately, losses to grieve. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy Drinking.

Oh–and if you haven’t done so, go to the International Infertility Film Festival website and vote for your favourite film. There’s Love to be won in this contest. Oh…and my film, just in case you wanted to know, is What the Gardener Knows. I’m just saying…

This is the third, not-quite-worth-actually-counting post. There are two posts back-to-back this morning: the blog roundup and my submission for the International Infertility Film Festival. Just wanted to make sure people scrolled down because there are some kick-ass posts in the roundup this week. Promise to spend my time reading Harry Potter instead of posting this weekend so y’all can catch up on the enormous amount of words I’ve dumped on you this week…

Happy reading and viewing.

Update at bottom:

Infertility makes me feel like I have this great plot of land in my backyard that I’ve been trying to turn into a garden. I’ve planted seeds and I’ve nurtured the small cuttings I’ve transplanted. Nothing takes. The plants die and the seeds never come to fruition. It looks like an empty expanse of dirt to everyone else–they have no clue how much work I’ve put into the garden, how much time I’ve spent trying to get something to grow, how many days I’ve sat by my window staring at the soil and dreaming about what the garden will look like when all the flowers bloom.

Is a flowerless garden still a garden? Am I a gardener if I had plants, but they’re now gone? Does my lack of a garden mean that I’m not a “real” gardener; a “successful” gardener; a “good” gardener? How can we measure intentions and how can we honour the seeds that never make it above the soil? So much of infertility is underground, hidden. Only the gardener knows the intentions for the land, knows what hasn’t grown. Where others see an expanse of dirt, those who have worked the land, scattered the seeds, and nurtured the plants, see a flowerless garden.

At first, I tried to draw this film so it could be as inclusive as Mother Earth’s Flower Shop. But I realized quickly that these were my words and my story–therefore, though the words can be used by anyone, the images reflect the two stages of my journey–trying to conceive the first child(ren) and trying to conceive again. I have thought about making several versions of this movie–two women trying to conceive their first child, a single-mother-by-choice trying to give her first child a sibling, a couple experiencing failed cycles and loss. There may be too many variations to reproduce every story with this song, but I would love for you to suggest your own characters for future incarnations of this video.

I hope it speaks to you too. It certainly wasn’t my original plan for the IIFF–that one involved a singing pee stick. But this was the movie that felt like it needed to be made right now. I hope you can use it too–to explain either to existing children, a friend, or a spouse/partner where the tears come from and the frustrations of being the keeper of this secret garden. Whereas other mothers share their children with the world, infertile gardeners carry the burden of being the only people who have the memory of their unborn children–either dream children, embryos, or babies.

Here I was, stressing about coming up with a fourth silver lining and you guys brought the list to 48. I’m still moving comments into the list (condensing ideas that appear more than once) and I have many more to add when I get a second today. Keeping adding them as you think of them. In my more bitter moments, some of the entries have made me snicker. In my lighter moments, it’s nice to pause on the fact that I probably would have never met any of you–in real life or online–if not for infertility and loss. This community is a real silver lining to it all.

Today also kicks off the second installment of the International Infertility Film Festival. My entry is above this post. Click over to the festival site (run by the amazing Bea) to see all of the fantastic entries. The theme this time around was spring. I submitted my two-part filmaphor. It’s a metaphor via film. A filmaphor. Or a cinemalogy. A cinematic analogy. Whichever you choose. The first, Mother Earth’s Flower Shop, showed a month or so ago and it explores the multitude of ways people build their families (as told via singing flowers). The second installment is a bit less campy and happy. In fact I cried a lot making it. I cried while singing it and you can probably hear that when my voice cracks. What the Gardener Knows is a song about loss and failed cycles. An explanation for those who wonder if your mood is something they caused or who don’t understand how it feels to spend a summer trying to coax life into a garden only to still have an empty plot of land come fall. I hope you enjoy them–and if enjoy isn’t quite the right word for the second film, I hope it at least touches you and helps you when you’re feeling alone as you stare at your garden bed.

Please help Bea by spreading the word about the film festival via your own blog.

And now kicking off the new year of roundups:

If you love Erin the Angry IVFer who is now the Red Beans & Rice Noodles chickie as much as I know you do and you’ve been searching for a way that you could easily contribute to her adoption fund as she switches from IVF to international adoption (from Vietnam), look no further than Lindland’s Cordarounds for your next gift. This is truly the greatest fundraiser ever. First and foremost, you get baby gift shopping out of the way with just a few clicks of the mouse without having to step foot in Buy Buy Baby. Second of all, 100% of the money (yes, they are donating the entire amount to Chuck and Erin) goes to this fund so you are helping out a fellow stirrup queen along the way rather than lining corporate America’s pockets (no offense, corporate America. “Why, none taken, Melissa,” says corporate America back). We all deserve a fundraiser and Erin is lucky enough to have good friends who care about her and want to help her adopt. Even if you can’t contribute because you have no gift to purchase, please consider cutting and pasting the blog link and sending it out to your email list. The more people who know about it the better, and what goes around comes around.

Frank, who is always a good read and he give you that ever elusive male point-of-view, at The Adventures of (In)Fertile Frank tackles this very same topic this week: IVF funding strategies. While my favourite is buskers (especially due to this little nugget: “At the moment I am pushing for the development of an two person Chinese acrobat act, basically spinning and tossing Mrs. Beans through the air using only my feet. Do we have any acrobatic experience? No. Are we even flexible? Not at all, but I really want to perform under the moniker, ‘The Mexican Jumping Beans.‘”), can collecting is a close second. Plus, empty cans–though bulky–are quite light and easy to ship so we can all help you with your fundraising efforts.

KD at Karaoke Diva has a beautiful post this week about a problem unique to secondary infertility: the child who longs for a sibling as much as you’re longing for a child. I loved not only the sweetness of her son’s question, but her thoughts on how infertility affects the family and what it makes her feel about herself touched me to the core.

J at Cheese and Whine writes about how she has been blogging about having a child for two years and now she is kicking off her first IVF cycle–a cycle she suspected was imminent for a while. She writes: “It’s somewhat surreal, and scary, and exciting all at the same time. I’m trying to be as calm and relaxed as possible, which, if you know me, isn’t all that easy. Surprisingly, I’m really feeling ok…I am trying to quell the feelings of “something good” happening here mostly to shield myself from disappointment….but, they’re there, and know what? Hope is an ok thing to cling too.” Please go over and wish her luck with this cycle.

Alyson and Ford from Imagine Alyzabeth An recorded a conversation with their daughter, Alyzabeth An, this week that both broke my heart and made me smile. I especially love the idea of a baby being placed to be found and how even a hurtful term like abandon can be turned around to reflect love and care. It’s a really great post.

Instead of a single post, I’d like to direct your attention to this cool project Lori from Weebles Wobblog has started called Drama 2B Mama. She knows the end of her story–she has adopted two children and she’s finally parenting. But she is now tracing back all the twists and turns, all the strange coincidences she can finally see since she has stepped off the family building path. She updates the blog daily, letting the story unfold. We’re still back in fertility treatment land. It’s a very cool read for anyone who needs to glimpse someone’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Line-of-the-Week. The line that made my heart sigh: “I am really thankful that infertility didn’t kill my empathy for her” (from Serenity Now!). Please go gather around Serenity and wish her much luck–her beta is this weekend and she needs the support of her fellow stirrup queens.

Now go over to the International Infertility Film Festival and view to your heart’s content (and let me know what you think of my entries).

Celiac Disease and its Connection to Miscarriage and Infertility
By Mash at The Lucky Life

Celiac Disease and it’s Connection to Miscarriage and Infertility

More and more research is starting to point to Celiac Disease as a cause of unexplained infertility or recurrent miscarriages for some women. Researchers who have studied women with infertility have found that they test positive for Celiac disease-related antibodies at a rate that is ten-fold higher than the normal population. Since it is a disease of the digestive tract, there is not much awareness amongst fertility specialists about the disease, however, the awareness is slowly increasing. This article is particularly aimed at women who are struggling to find answers, and may be displaying some of the other symptoms of this disease.

What is Celiac Disease?

Celiac disease (also known as Coeliac Disease) is an autoimmune disease of the digestive tract, caused by a reaction gluten, a protein found in wheat, barley, rye and oats. When a person has Celiac Disease, their body’s reaction to the gluten causes damage to the villi (tiny protrusions of the small intestine, used to absorb nutrition), and as a result they tend to become malnourished, no matter how much food they eat. Once a person has been diagnosed, and gluten removed from their diet, their digestive tract starts to heal, nutrition starts to be absorbed, and the symptoms usually start to subside.

Some Common Symptoms

Around 1 in 133 Americans have this disease, although it is estimated that 95% of sufferers are undiagnosed. The symptoms vary, classical symptoms are generally digestion related like abdominal bloating and pain, diarrhea, and others symptoms which are frequently ascribed to irritable bowel syndrome. Other symptoms are related to problems with  absorption, such as fatigue, anemia and osteoporosis. Sufferers of other autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis and thyroid autoimmune diseases are often found to have Celiac Disease, and in some cases changing their diet to exclude gluten has caused these diseases to clear up or improve. A link has also been found between migraine and Celiac Disease – migraine sufferers are 10 times more likely to have Celiac. Around 10% of people suffering with Celiac Disease have Dermititis Herpetiformis (an itchy skin rash). There are also people who have Celiac Disease with no symptoms at all, they are called Silent Celiacs.

Miscarriage and Infertility

Importantly, recurrent miscarriage and infertility are also symptoms of Celiac Disease. I’ve included some (but there are many) relevant studies with the facts.

• Women with undiagnosed Celiac Disease have a 9 times higher chance of miscarriage than those who are diagnosed and have gone gluten free. Celiac Disease and Pregnancy Outcome PMID:8677936. These miscarriages can happen at any time in a pregnancy and sadly, are often late term miscarriages. There is a suspicion that they may be due to malnourishment of the fetus.

• Some of the further listed atypical symptoms of Celiac disease are: delayed menarche, amenorrhea, early menopause, infertility, impotence, hypogonadism, recurrent abortions, and low-birth-weight or preterm deliveries. Celiac Disease and Reproductive DisordersPMID: 20017709 and Celiac Disease and its Affect on Human Reproduction PMID: 20337200.

• In a population of women with endometriosis, they found 2.5% of the women to be Celiac positive, more than double the rate of Celiac Disease than is found in the general population. Serological Testing for Celiac Disease in Women with Endometriosis PMID: 19400413

Diagnosis

Tests can only be done while gluten is still present in the diet. It’s very important not to be gluten-free when you are going for tests! A mistake that many people make is to cut out gluten, and when their symptoms disappear as a result, to go for the tests. Since they are looking for antibodies, the tests will then probably come back negative. The first step would be some blood tests for antibodies that your doctor might order: Total IgA, IgA-tTG, and IgA-EMA. If the antibody tests come back positive, your doctor will probably order a biopsy of the lining of the small intestine, to check for the autoimmune response. Some people test positive for the antibodies and negative for the autoimmune response, this means that they have a gluten intolerance, and not Celiac Disease. However, many people with gluten intolerance suffer similar symptoms, and they are advised to give up gluten too. It doesn’t make sense for your body to harbour inflammation!

Finally, here is a clip from a woman who suffered 3 miscarriages and went to 23 doctors before being diagnosed, who now works for a Celiac Disease NGO:

References:

• http://www.celiac.com/articles/643/1/Fertility-and-Pregnancy-in-Women-with-Celiac-Disease-by-Michelle-Melin-Rogovin/Page1.html
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coeliac_disease
• http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/celiac/#wha
• http://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/news/20030321/migraine-linked-to-celiac-disease
• http://www.celiaccentral.org/News/News-Feeds/View-Research-News/Celiac-Disease-Research/134/pg–1/vobid–2206/
• http://www.medicinenet.com/celiac_disease/page5.htm
• http://www.celiaccentral.org/Celiac-Disease/Diagnosis-Treatment/33/