Category — Uncategorized

I read something l loved this week starting with the title: “It’s not your job to tell yourself ‘no’.”

Write that above your workspace.  Now.

The world is full of no’s.  People are going to say that word to you all the time.  So it’s ridiculous to also stand in line and be one more no in your day.

I loved the whole article, but this was the part that I feel I should read every single morning before I start working and telling myself no:

It’s not your job to tell yourself no. It’s not your job to deny yourself opportunities. It’s not your job to prevent your own progress. There are enough people in the world who will do those things for you.

Your job is to embrace rather than ignore. Your job is to pursue rather than prevent. Your job is to tell yourself “yes” instead of “no.”

That’s your job.

That is your job, too.

What are you saying “yes” to today?

Thank you for the kind words about work.  I’m not good with change in general, and I’m especially not fond of endings.  There’s nothing after an ending, you know.  It’s like a period at the end of a sentence.

I finished The Hopefuls by Jennifer Close, and there was one paragraph I really liked that came to me at the right time:

Here’s what I still hate about DC: the way that nothing is permanent, the feeling that everything and everyone you know, could (and does) wash away every four or eight years.  All of these important people, so ingrained in the city — you can’t imagine that this place could exist without them.  But one day they’re gone and everything keeps moving just the same.  Who can get their footing in a place like this?  It feels like quicksand to me (page 299).

That is a decent summary of what makes DC different from other cities.  Things change here, often.  There were classmates who were with me from Kindergarten through senior year, but there was always a chunk that would move here because their parents got a government job and move out by the next administration.  That is the story of a lot of our friends from early in our marriage.

Sometimes a friend will move to a new place, and they’ll tell me how hard it is to break into the community.  How most of the people have lived there their whole lives.  That is not DC.  It is fairly easy to slip into this city, and it’s fairly easy to slip out.

There are people who are fantastic with transitions.  They love starting new jobs or moving to a new place.  Or, if they don’t love it, they are at least fine with the idea.  They see the positives in change, and they get itchy when they need to stay tied down to one thing for too long.

That is not me.

I am incredibly loyal and long-lasting and unchanging.  I don’t like moving or switching jobs or even ending finite projects, like books.  (I cry at the end of every book.  With the last one, ChickieNob walked into the room while I was lying on Josh’s chest, sobbing, and she sighed, “Mummy must have put the book to bed.”)  I like eating the same foods for the same meals, day after day after day.  I shop at the same stores, buying the same products, even if it is less expensive at a different place.  I even like to drive in the same lane on the road every time I am traveling to a local spot.  Same same same same same.

Sameness is what makes me happy, and maybe it’s because I come from a place where change is part of the atmosphere.

Do you think the place where you grow up shapes how you deal with the world as an adult?

I’m at the library, and I see a sign for a huge used book sale happening in the basement.  10,000 books!  Most of them only 25 cents!

I think I will mosey on down there.  Perhaps the book I’m looking for — an older Curtis Sittenfeld novel — will be in the fiction section.

I clomp downstairs and immediately find the book sale room.  It’s the room they use for story time with the librarian or special programs at the library.  Currently it is packed with books, arranged by genre, and patronized by two elderly ladies.

I slip into the room, and they both look at me curiously but go back to shopping.  They must be wondering what a hip, 40-something year old woman like myself reads.  I browse the fantasy section, science fiction, and horror before I head back to literature.  The women keep looking at me, and I keep looking at them, thinking about how wonderful it is that these 80-something year old women are browsing sports encyclopedias.  Perhaps they were Olympians in their youth.  No… wait… they are staring at me… perhaps they were NOT Olympians but they wanted to be and now they are staring because they are jealous that I grew up in an age where girls played more sports.

I turn the corner and spot a copy of Flatland by Edwin Abbott.  I immediately snatch it off the shelf, which causes one of the elderly women to turn around in alarm.  I hold it up triumphantly, grinning.  “I CANNOT walk by a copy of Flatland without buying it, you know?”

“What are you doing?” the woman asks.

“I’m…  I’m buying this copy of Flatland.  It’s a math story… about dimensions… flat… land.”

“The sale isn’t open until Saturday,” she admonishes.  She looks at the other woman for backup.  The other woman picks up another stack of books and starts sorting them.  Like… putting them out on tables, sorting them.  Not browsing sports books for herself.

“Oh,” I say in a small voice and put back the book.  “Well, I will definitely be back next Saturday because… you have Flatland.”

I duck out of the room and race upstairs, checking the sign on the way out which — indeed — states that the sale is days away.  But even worse, as I run to my car, I realize that a smarter person would have pulled a crisp dollar out of her wallet and offered 4 times the asking price in order to get the slim novella.  But, as we all know, I’m a different kind of smart.

There is a lot I could say on my feelings about Donald Trump, but continuously going that route becomes problematic because… I’m not with Hillary Clinton by default, I’m with her by choice.  I mean, it would be equally rude to go on about all of my ex’s and finally end with, “And that’s why I married Josh,” as if he’s the only option left that makes sense.  No, I chose Josh and he chose me because we saw something in each other that said we’d be a good partnership.

So, politically, I choose Hillary Clinton.  I don’t choose her because she’s not Trump.  I choose her because she is Clinton.

It begins with her being the most qualified candidate ever.  She has already spent 8 years in the White House with a front row seat to the presidency and all the job entails.  She has been a senator and Secretary of State.  She knows, without a doubt, what she is getting into, and that makes a huge difference in the possibility of her success in the office.

I’m with Hillary because of her stance on responsible gun ownership.  I’m with her because she supports background checks and will work to close loopholes that allow guns to be sold to people who, frankly, shouldn’t have guns.

I’m with Hillary because she is working to keep legislators’ hands off my reproductive organs.  She supports Planned Parenthood and has publicly said that she will stand up to Republicans who want to defund the organization that brings critical health care to so many women.

I’m with Hillary because she has sensible, realistic ideas about immigration, taking into account that immigrants are human beings with the same wants and needs as citizens.  That the goal should be moving more people towards becoming legal citizens rather than punishment.  She makes it clear that immigrants are just people, part of the “us”, rather than an amorphous “them.”

I’m with Hillary because she is going to continue with education reforms and tweak the ones in place, reducing the number of tests children are expected to take to prove their teachers’ worth.  She has a plan for making preschool accessible to all children, not just the ones who can afford it.  And she’ll continue the work of making college affordable.  So many things are interconnected including strong education plans and a reduction of crime.  By giving more people more options, you will create a future generation that doesn’t feel backed into a financial corner.

I’m with Hillary because I believe she cares about work-life balance.  That she wants families to succeed and for people to have the space to care for children, elderly parents, or ill relatives.  That she’ll do everything in her power to influence that change in the workplace.

I’m with Hillary because she knows the limit of her position and doesn’t make promises of what she’ll do as president that ARE NOT POSSIBLE FROM THE POSITION OF PRESIDENT.  No one should have this position without understanding the requirements and restrictions of this position.

Those are the immediate reasons that pop into my head.  I’m sure that if I sat here with this post open for another hour, I could yank twenty additional reasons for why I support Hillary Clinton.  But at the end of the day, just as with Josh, it’s a gut decision.  I look at her and think, “Yes, I would like her to lead our nation.”  I don’t need her to be my friend or make me laugh or make me feel like I want to grab a coffee with her.  I just need a smart, calm, rational person to lead our nation.

That’s why I’m with her.

There was a recent Reply All that covered a number of topics, including a response from a YouTube creator who felt discouraged when she heard on an earlier episode that she needed many more subscribers (like millions more) in order to be noteworthy.

The guys mused that with all of the thinking they do about the online world, they should have a better sense of how one goes about getting more subscribers or creating a viral video.  They brought up a Darius Kazemi talk from XOXO that you can watch below:

Kazemi likens content that resonates to winning the lottery: They is no magical formula just as there are no special numbers you can play that make it a sure thing that you will win the lottery. BUT if you don’t create content (or you don’t play the lottery) you definitely can’t win. So… create good content and then let go of the process. It will either resonate, or not.

He states: “What I’ve learned is that – beyond a certain level of effort – there’s basically no correlation between the amount of work you put into something and how successful it is.”

It’s sort of freeing to think that there is nothing you can humanly do once you give it your best shot.  I mean, it’s sad, too, because the whole thing sounds like a slog from that angle.  What’s the point if you can’t influence your work’s success beyond a few tiny steps you can take to nudge it in the right direction?  But it’s also freeing.  It’s okay if I’m sitting back or moving on to the next thing.

With things pertaining to luck: creative work, relationships, baby making — it’s all about showing up and putting in the effort, and then understanding that your work is done and it’s just a matter of chance.

Does his philosophy make you feel hopeful or just plain sad?