Category — Friday Blog Roundup

I just had the most relaxing, non-brain-taxing, fun read in a long time.  If you are also stressed beyond the point of being able to function and feeling increasing despair when you go online because you confront the news (or people discussing the news), I’m going to recommend The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan.

The ChickieNob informed me that I took this book out of the library twice.  The first time, I returned it after reading a few pages.  I guess I thought I wasn’t going to like it.

The second time, I grabbed it in a panic when I had exactly three minutes and six seconds in the library to make a selection and pick up the kids from school.  When the ChickieNob saw it, she told me that I had checked it out weeks earlier and returned it weeks earlier.

Really?

Because while it may not have appealed to me pre-election, this book definitely was the greatest escape post-election.  It’s a reimagining of the British royal family with a Will and Kate-type relationship story.  It is (1) so much fun, (2) has really likeable characters, (3) made me feel like I actually knew what Buckingham Palace looked like beyond the public rooms, (4) did I mention fun?  It was really fun, unless you’re actually in the royal family, and then it probably would not be fun.

But none of you are in the royal family, right?

Juxtapose that with watching The Crown at the same time, and it was perfect escapism.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Don’t Send Them to The Wall…” (Seattle Times)
• “I Got Jackassed.  Twice.” (Lavender Luz)
• “Are People Actually Good?” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Cristy!

Okay, now my choices this week.

Searching for Our Silver Linings had a post that I needed to read this week about still seeing the good.  I’ll admit that my attention has been much more focused on the loud moments of hatred bubbling up around me, but her post is a rallying cry to give just as much weight to the quieter acts of kindness.

Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms has a very real and very raw post about thoughts she has had about trying to conceive.  I highlight it not only because it is well-written and an interesting read but because I suspect that she is not alone with these thoughts as she looks left and right to a future with or without children.  As she grapples with her fears and questions, I also don’t want to lose my favourite part of the post: “I loved my mom and felt so loved by her that I wanted to be a mommy and take care of a child so they could feel as loved as I felt as a little girl.”  Me, too.

Lastly, Project Progeny has a post about meeting up with another IF blogger.  I love this post because meeting people face-to-face after reading them online is one of my favourite things, and this is doubly so when we’ve understood each other through the lens of infertility.  Not only do I remember the blog exchanges she mentioned, I participated in some of those blog exchanges.  And I feel the same way as this: “We talked about making connections through blogging, and what that had meant for each of us during our years of actively working to build our families, through the pain and grief and fears of infertility. Neither of us is actively in that stage anymore – no more two-week waits – but there is something about feeling known and understood and accepted that we both miss about the ALI blogging community.”  Yes, I believe that she can slip back down into blogging as she states at the end of the post.  Go read the whole piece.

The roundup to the Roundup: A good escape novel, unless you are in the royal family.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 18th and 25th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

About once a month, my cousin and I meet for lunch at a vegan restaurant.  Excellent company aside, I love going there because I can order anything off the menu.  Maybe this isn’t a big deal to you because you can do this at every restaurant.  But I generally have one or two choices at most places, or if I have more, they’re all sort of variations on the same thing.  Do I want my grain, tomato, and cheese in pasta form or pizza form?  And if I’m going to have it in pasta form, do I want it with spaghetti or penne?  See, that isn’t really an exciting choice.

But when we go to this vegan restaurant, the menu is wide open save for food allergies.  I never have to ask if the broth is made with chicken stock.  I never have to look longingly at a dish that could have been made vegetarian but for some inexplicable reason has been made with bits of bacon.

But, damn, it’s hard.  It’s hard to look at all the choices and pick just one.  Do I go with what I loved last time, or do I try something new?

This week, I got “chicken” and biscuits with collard greens, smothered in vegan gravy.  It is what I imagine Thanksgiving food tastes like.  I wanted to moan with each bite.  The ChickieNob stole my leftovers when I got home.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Report from Day Two: Consulting My Moral Compass” (Wandering Scientist)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Infertilityhonesty has a post about how infertility has prepared her for the difficult moments in life; such as a Trump presidency.  She writes, “Wishing deep in my heart of hearts that Trump does a good job is much like wishing for a pregnancy on the heels of multiple failed fertility treatments; you want it more than anything but know on a level it’s probably not going to happen.”  Moreover, she gives you 9 ways she (and likely, you) are actually prepared to get through this.

Magpie Musing has a post that gives me hope.  An unofficial memorial created in the Union Square subway stop 15 years ago for September 11th has become a wall of post-it notes following the election.  The pictures make the post ten times more powerful.

Lastly, Hapa Hopes has a letter to her biracial daughter.  I love this part: “I will stand up for you, your dad, and others whenever I can.  I’m not entirely sure what that looks like right now, but I hope that by the time you are reading this you can tell me I’m doing a good job.”  Lots of tears reading it.

The roundup to the Roundup: I love going to vegan restaurants.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 11th and 18th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I’m done crying, and I’ve moved on to the take action part of recovering from the election.  There are a lot of groups and causes that could use your energy right now.  Don’t boo… work?  Protect?  Aid?  Let me know if you are looking for outlets for your energy.  I would love to connect you with like-minded people.

*******

I thought I would tell this story in a how-sweet-is-life post on Wednesday, but that clearly wasn’t to be, so I’ll put this here.  Before we left the house to vote, the twins and I spent a few minutes practicing filling in a third of a bubble at the kitchen table.

We got to the polling station and did our usual song-and-dance in the voting booth, and then we brought our ballot to the machine.

Election Worker: I think it’s so sweet that the three of you do this together.  Just feed your card into this machine, dear.

Wolvog: Let’s all hold the paper together.

Me: Yes, wait, is everyone holding on?

ChickieNob: Yes.

Wolvog: Yes.

Election Worker: Just feed it into the machine.

Our three-headed election monster attempted to feed said floppy piece of paper into the machine.  We continuously missed the slot.  Each time we missed the slot, we started nervously giggling which made us miss the slot again.  And again.

Election Worker: Just feed it in there, dear.  Just do it.

Me: We didn’t practice this.  We only practiced the bubble.

Election Worker: Please.  Will you just feed the paper into the machine?

Wolvog: How could we have practiced?

Me: We could have made a fake machine out of LEGOS with a narrow slot and then tried to feed paper into it.

ChickieNob: I don’t think we have enough LEGOS.

Me: Well, it wouldn’t need to be this big.  We would just need to make a realistic slot…

Election Worker: THE BALLOT.  JUST PUT IT IN.

Not so sweet now, is it Ms. Election Worker?

We finally got it into the machine and realized WE HAD TO DO IT A SECOND TIME FOR THE SECOND SHEET.  The woman definitely didn’t love that I involved the kids in this democratic process by the time we got our I Voted! stickers.  But you know what, it was really important that we all had our hands on that ballot, that we all felt involved.

Because my kids own this election.  They feel the results of this election.  They are ready to take action after this election.  They are ready to roar.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “#MicroblogMondays: A Halloween Blessing” (Searching for Our Silver Lining)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Normally these posts are all about infertility, adoption or loss.  But… this week is a different week.  Clearly the election is on everyone’s mind.  So election thoughts from Iffers:

Anabegins has a post about the upside down, which is fitting in so many ways this week. (Demogorgon!)  She writes, “This is OUR job. WE are the grown ups. We need to stand up, speak up, and fight for what we believe in… for ourselves and for our children. We are donating money, we’ll be calling/emailing/writing our state and local representatives frequently. We are brainstorming places to volunteer our skills and time. We know we want to be more involved with the process than just showing up to vote next time.”  Yessssssss.

A+ Effort combines her words with the words of her husband.  Read the whole piece, but this ending says it all: “As I walked back to my car with shame, sadness, and remorse in my eyes, I caught the glance of a Hispanic father dropping his children off for school. He gave me a nod, as if to say ‘it’s ok.’ Probably, because this is nothing new for him. He has come to expect it of America. Whereas I have only shouldered this burden for 4 years, 8 months, and 10 days–the day my African-American daughter arrived home.”

Lastly, Magpie Musing’s letter to her daughter filled me with tears and hope.  “Hillary’s defeat is saddening, it makes us angry, it makes us scared. But we are stronger than that. Stronger together in our little family, stronger in our little town, stronger in our conviction that all people need to be lifted up, that all children deserve an education, that all people need good and affordable health care, that no one should live in poverty.”  Go over and read her empowering words.

The roundup to the Roundup: Don’t just be angry: Take action.  The downside to doing everything together.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 4th and 11th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

There are exactly two things powering me through life right now.  I wish they didn’t make me sound vapid.  But you know what? They do, so let’s just put it out there in the open.  It’s Shuffle Cats and Dirk Gently.

Shuffle Cats makes me happy.  Cats playing cards at a speakeasy and wearing flapper outfits?  Makes me happy.  It’s a digital card game made by the creators of Candy Crush, but unlike Candy Crush, there are few gates in place to slow down game play.  So I could conceivably play for hours, though I try not to gamble my life away.  It’s a free app, which means we owe King.com an enormous thank you for it.  Greatest app ever, and I don’t care how that makes me sound.

Dirk Gently is a television remake of the books (well, loosely based on the books) rolling out via BBC America.  I told Josh that on a scale from 1 to 10, I was a 15 when it came to pre-show excitement.  It lived up to all the hype in my head.  iTunes has the first episode free for download if you want to try it out.  I’m still at a 15 when I think about each episode.

Part of me is a little embarrassed that the only thing I have to contribute to conversations lately is information about cats playing cards and holistic detectives, but I own it.  Shuffle Cats + Dirk Gently = Getting Through the Day.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Measuring Myself” (Searching for Our Silver Lining)
• “Infertility Limbo. Or, Stopping so That You Can Carry On” (Different Shores)
• “No Regrets.  Boom Boom!” (No Kidding in NZ)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Much Ado About Nothing has a post marking her child’s first birthday, but moreover, her own mental state when it comes to her fertility.  I love the two sides of this part — the highs and the lows: “I thank G-d every night I have this life, that He gave me this chance to be these tiny people’s mother. It’s messy, and stressful, and there is yelling and fighting, and tears, and laughter. And I would be lying if I said it didn’t weigh on my mind every single day if I will get to do this again, one last time.”  And it’s a gorgeous, aching ending.

A concrete post I can point to forever for why I love blogging: Kmina visited a place I wrote about on my blog awhile back; a place I had read about in an article and wanted to see.  And she photographed the whole thing and made the big, overwhelming world feel small and cozy.  And now I really have to get over there and see the salt mines.

Lastly, while I normally am not moved by articles on Buzzfeed, Laura Turner’s post about her miscarriage made me pause.  Actually, the turning point in the post was when she visited a friend who had miscarried while Turner was still pregnant.  She wrote: “She didn’t cry, and I didn’t ask many questions. I would have done that differently, knowing what I know now.”  Isn’t that it?  There’s one side where you just don’t know, and there’s another side where you do.  And I’m really sad for those of us who know, and it makes me look at those who don’t with a lot more forgiveness.  And this: “But when it’s a fetus that has died, or a baby, or whatever you want to call it, your life doesn’t change, and that’s the strange part — because it was supposed to.”

The roundup to the Roundup: Shuffle Cats and Dirk Gently.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 28th and November 4th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I have a new favourite podcast that I need to tell you about.  Maybe need is too strong a word, but it balances out the numerous times I have tried to get everyone here to listen to Gimlet Media projects.  This one came at the suggestion of my friend.  I love this podcaster’s voice as much as Manoush Zomorodi’s voice from Note to Self.  The podcast: What Should I Read Next.

Her guests talk about three books they’ve recently loved, one book they didn’t like (I kinda sorta don’t like this section because well… I don’t want to talk about things I don’t like.  I have 3000 things I do like, so I don’t have time for not liking things), and a book they’re looking forward to reading next.  The woman’s voice is so relaxing; I want to put on a sweater and drink tea the second she starts talking.

So if you’re looking for a new podcast, that’s it: What Should I Read Next with Anne Bogel.  Bogel, by the way, is Modern Mrs. Darcy, and I’m equally smitten with her daily newsletter.  It’s how I learned about and bought and read Sleeping Giants.

*******

I was standing in the allergy medication aisle at the food store, looking at my non-drowsy options, when a silver ring bounced several times and finally rolled to a stop in front of me.  I picked it up and turned to the boy standing at the end of the aisle.  “Got it,” I told him.

“Got what?” he asked.

“Your ring.  The ring you dropped.”

I held out the ring, and the boy stared at me strangely.  “That’s not my ring.”

I looked around, but we were the only people nearby.  I walked to other aisles, holding out the ring and asking if anyone had dropped it.  Everyone agreed that it was a gorgeous ring, but no one knew where it had come from.  I finally brought it to a manager, asking if anyone had reported a lost ring.  No one had, but she now has it behind the desk in case someone drops by.

The only other possibility is that it was resting on top of the allergy medication box when I picked it, dislodging it from its resting place.  Maybe I’m watching a little too much Dirk Gently, but it felt like the universe was trying to tell me something.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Microblog Mondays: From Infertile Soil” (Searching for Our Silver Lining)
• “Community and Voice” (Anne Heffron)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Mrs Spit… Still Spouting Off wrote a post at exactly the right moment that I needed to read.  It was a post about failing, but being okay with it, and it gave me a whole new way of looking at the world.  This is the best part of blogging: when you read something that makes you say, “Oh, everything is okay.”

A Woman My Age has a post about not making her child a life story book; both why she hasn’t and how she wishes she had now that he has more questions about his origins.  I had chills go down both arms when he asked his question in the store, but I loved her ending: “I started his book tonight and instead of trying to make it perfect, I’m just going to do the best I can.”

My Path to Mommyhood has a post about things she has changed this year.  She writes: “I narrowed my life for no tangible reason. I mean, there was hope that something would change, which fueled this sense of CLEAR MY SCHEDULE!, but nothing did, which just left me feeling irritated and let down.”  It’s an important point (and an important post if you are also narrowing your life): that the waiting is even harder if you give up everything and all you have is the waiting.  I’m glad that she wrote this.  (And that she changed things this year and brought all this goodness into her life.)

Lastly, I was deeply moved by Family Rock’s post about marking the 7 year anniversary of her sibling’s death as well as all of the changes that have occurred (or temporary things that turned out to be more permanent) since adopting her children.  It’s an honest post, by which I mean that it is a raw post, and it may be hard for some to read.  I cried reading her final lines: “Even though it’s been 7 years, you never stop remembering. You never stop grieving. And you certainly never stop loving… that’s the only thing that keeps you going.”  It’s a really gorgeous post about grief.

The roundup to the Roundup: Download this book-filled podcast.  The ring that came from… nowhere.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 21st and 28th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.