Category — Friday Blog Roundup

I rarely get sick but I had something this week.  The doctor agrees that it was either food poisoning or a GI bug.  Either way, I was in intense pain all day Tuesday to the point where I couldn’t talk.  I considered going to the emergency room, but Josh was at a work event an hour away, and it felt dramatic to call for an ambulance if I could call for an ambulance.  I know, that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it was totally reasonable in my altered state.  If I could moan “help” into a phone, it meant I was okay enough to stay home.

We spoke to an urgent care nurse later in the evening, and I panted that the pain ranged from a 7 to a 9.  9 is that point where you fear you will go into cardiac arrest because the pain is crashing over you in waves and you can’t catch your breath.  But I stopped at 9 because there is only one thing I have ever experienced that warranted a 10: my HSG.  That sucker will forever be the pain I measure all other pain by.

The next day, I spoke to the doctor’s assistant who also wanted me to describe the pain.  I once again explained it was between a 7 and a 9, but I felt shy explaining that my HSG was my 10.  But you guys get that pain scale, even if you were lucky enough to have your ink pass through the tube.  There’s something about pain that comes with being raw and emotional on the table that makes it stick in your brain forever.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Female Fatigue” (Family Building with a Twist)

Okay, now my choices this week.

I also had Family Building with a Twist’s post for this week.  She writes about listening to Dr. Ford’s testimony and sums up what so many of us are thinking: “I’m tired of being thought of as nothing more than a uterus with legs whose only worthwhile job is having babies.  I’m tired of being dismissed as inconsequential.  I’m tired of the burden of proof being extraordinary and always on the female victim.”  Yes, yes, and yes.

Life Without Baby applies the concept of Ring Theory to living child-free after infertility.  Though I’d argue that if there’s a partner, they’re also in the center of the ring, she explains the idea: “The rule is that that if people have something mean or insensitive or opinionated to say, they say it to someone on a bigger ring. When speaking to someone on a smaller ring, they can only listen or—if they must say something—offer help, support, or comfort.”  It’s good life advice in general, and it works particularly well here.

Lastly, My Path to Mommyhood laughs at the idea that getting a mortgage is invasive after going through the adoption process.  She outlines all the additional things she needed to produce in order to be eligible to be considered for adoption, and it’s a long list.  Perspective is everything.

The roundup to the Roundup: Still not feeling great.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 28th and October 5th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

There is a long history of bad guys with pets.  The Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak had Captain Cackle (who was like… head Berry Bird) and Skeletor had Panthor.  So I never gave a lot of thought to Voldemort and Nagini.  They were just two evil beings who loved hanging out with each other as well as killing Muggles and wizards.  But then everything changed with the new Fantastic Beasts movie…

Nagini, it turns out, is actually an Asian woman trapped in the body of a snake.  JK Rowling tweeted that she’s really a maledictus and posted Entertainment Weekly’s big reveal about this.  So… Voldemort kept an Asian woman… as a pet?  How would we feel if we found out the Berry Birds were really former boys who transformed due to a condition?  Would we feel differently about the Purple Pieman if we knew he was keeping all those transformed boys up on Porcupine Peak?

I’m withholding total judgement until I see the finished product and the way it’s presented in the film.  But on social media?  It looks awful.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

South City Sadie is back with a new post that will resonate with a lot of people about why she stopped blogging after infertility.  Yes, yes, yes to all of it, AND I love this reason for why she has returned: “My blogging was raw, and it was honest, and it was the best writing I have ever done. I don’t want it to be the best that I will ever do.”  Here’s to always having the best yet to come.

Old Lady and No Baby has a none IF-related post that cracked me up because we also had a mouse incident with our twins.  Though mine did not help me go mouse hunting.  Her kids are really funny as well as the retelling of it.

Lastly, Searching for Our Silver Lining has multiple posts this week about an unfolding story at her son’s school.  Another child bit him, and it required a trip to the emergency room.  She writes about parenting after infertility: “One unforeseen side effect of infertility and multiple miscarriages is that I still don’t consider myself a true parent. I adore my kids and would do anything for them, but it doesn’t take much to make me feel like I’m over-reacting or that I don’t have as much authority as someone who could conceive without years of treatment.”  It’s about owning it and feeling like you’re the expert and all of the ways we communicate and make decisions stemming from that feeling.  It’s a thought-provoking post about changing the way you think.

The roundup to the Roundup: Not feeling comfortable with the new Fantastic Beasts movie.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 21st and September 28th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I tried an Impossible Burger.  Our friends tried it years ago and told us about it.  It looks like beef and you cook it like beef, but it’s made from plants.  He told us that it was so realistic that he couldn’t tell the difference between real meat and the Impossible Burger.  That thought freaked me out so completely that I put the thought of it out of my mind.

But then a restaurant nearby started serving it, and I finally worked up my courage to try it.  At least, I felt courageous in the morning.  Then I silently obsessed about it for about an hour before we left the house for dinner.  Then I mentioned in the car that I was nervous.  Then I decided at the table that I didn’t think I could go through with it.  I ordered something else with the thought that I would try Josh’s burger.  If I liked it, we would split both of our meals, and if I hated it, I would eat my meal.

The twins took the first bites and reassured me that while it looked and smelled like beef, they could definitely tell the difference.  So I tried a bite and it was… fine.  I felt such internal pressure to eat it and enjoy it like everyone else.  So Josh and I split our meals.

I immediately started regretting it upon finishing, and I felt squeamish about the rest of my meal.  I get that it’s not meat, but it feels… too close.  Like I was eating something out of a Margaret Atwood novel.  It tasted fine, but the whole thing filled me with dread.

If you eat meat, you probably don’t recognize this dread.  But I’m assuming the vegetarians know exactly what I’m talking about.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “You Are Not Your Grief” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Erin!
• “Can You See the Grief?” (An Unexpected Family Outing)

Okay, now my choices this week.

RisaKerslake writes about parenting after infertility.  “I believed them because back then, I had the illusion that if I could beat infertility, I could move on. That I was living sort of on pause and once I was holding my child, we could really start life as a family.”  This is such a great post about how the experience of infertility becomes part of your story; of course it has to inform your parenting, just like everything else you go through in life.  The post continues on another site, and the whole thing is a great read.

There were two posts that I read this week about unexpected pregnancies:

No Good Eggs writes about discovering she’s pregnant without assistance after three children through donor egg IVF.  Understandably, pregnancy wasn’t a possibility her brain was entertaining when she realized her uterus felt strange.  She writes, “How am I feeling emotionally. I feel everything. But really just scared. Scared this baby will have major issues and we will have to terminate. Scared this baby will have medium issues and we will be faced with a huge and confusing decision. Scared of giving birth again … And scared of raising a mix of donor and own egg kids, a combo I decided a long time ago I didn’t want.”  It’s a raw and wonderful post.

Much Ado About Nothing also has a surprise pregnancy post.  After a very stressful summer, she discovers that she’s pregnant.  She writes, “I didn’t want to tell anyone at first. After a few days of feeling turned upside down, my husband started to tell people. I only told my sister. I felt undeserving, I still do. I was still living in disbelief and utter panic.”  She is left in a limbo state after a scan, so I’m just holding her in my heart until she gets definitive news.

The roundup to the Roundup: I freaked out from the Impossible Burger.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 14th and September 21st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I’ve been glued all week to coverage for Hurricane Florence.  We planned to be in Chincoteague this weekend, but on Tuesday, they closed the town for visitors and started evacuations.  We moved our trip.  Then on Wednesday, the storm turned and there was a lot of conflicting information flying around online whether the evacuation was still in place or not for the town.  We’re keeping to the new plan.

At the current moment, DC is no longer in the path.  We’ll just get rain.  But my heart is in my throat thinking about the Carolinas.  Be safe.

*******

Speaking of heart in my throat moments, I saw that I had a bunch of unread posts in my blog reader.  So I clicked into the folder and realized they were all for MLO Knitting.  She died about five years ago.

They were spam posts; someone had clearly purchased her blog’s lapsed URL and was posting spam.  I sat with the thought for a long time, and then finally unsubscribed.  I logically knew there would never be another post, but I didn’t want to sever that last tie.  Is that silly?  To keep someone who is gone in your blog feed reader?  It made me sad to know that the blog isn’t there anymore.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Day 17 – Empowerment – Part 1” (Anne Heffron)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Don’t Count Your Eggs has a post about phantom pregnancies; those moments where we think we’re pregnant, even though our heart also knows that we’re not.  This resonated with me because after we stopped treatments, I had a few times where I purchased pregnancy tests, sure that we had gotten lucky.  But… no.  I also mentally knew that it wasn’t likely.  She describes it: “Some days the word embrace seems to fit. Others… I’m totally convinced I’m P, because perhaps there is something that just doesn’t feel finished to me.”  Yes.

An Engineer Becomes a Mom’s blog title repeated a few times in my life these past few weeks as I’ve pointed out in various places that a totally valid option for confronting systems or ideas that aren’t working is “burn it all down.”  She makes the most amazing life change, and it leads to her taking charge of her career.  She writes, “For now, I’m done with the ladder. I need time and space to figure out where I want to take my career. I need to branch out to trying different things.”  Love this post.

Lastly, Anabegins has a very honest post that resonated with me.  It’s about eating and exercise and all the feelings you get when you notice that you can’t do what others can do.  The paragraph that begins with this: “I was watching how the others were eating/drinking on this trip and they seemed to exert much more self-control” — that is me.  We all eat differently, we all different needs, but that paragraph had me nodding my head through the whole thing.

The roundup to the Roundup: Worried about the hurricane.  An unwanted unsubscribing.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 7th and September 14th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

We’re saying goodbye to a car this weekend.  Luckily, it’s going to people I love, so there’s a chance to see it again.  (Can you tell that I’m not really good with goodbyes?)  I am glad they are taking it because this is the car that we got a few weeks after the twins were born.  It’s the car that I drove them around in when they were infants.  The one where they’d throw their binky into the hatchback and then howl as we drove down the highway.  It’s the one where they crushed Cheerios against every surface.  Where we listened to hours upon hours of Dan Zanes.

It’s not really the car that I’m missing.  It’s the memories of the kids being infants.  It’s missing the baby years.  I don’t really want to go backwards to listening to them howl in frustration while we’re going 60 on the highway (seriously, why did they always toss their binky into the open trunk?), but I miss the quiet moments.  Wedging myself between their two car seats so we could do a double bottle feed.  The conversations we’d have as we took wrong turns.  I miss that.

It’s never really about the thing itself, but instead, all the memories that come with it.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff…

Okay, now my choices this week.

Dreaming of Diapers breaks down the concept of being happy… enough.  About being happy, even when parts of your life are not going as planned.  Being happy when you’re living out the “ever after” and it doesn’t look how you thought it would look.  And comparing happiness to other points in your life; are you happier now than you were then?  It’s a thought-provoking post.

Searching for Our Silver Lining is going through stress, and it’s affecting her mood.  She’s blue, and it isn’t one thing.  It’s just a lot of things all coming together at the same time.  It’s life at its sloggiest.  This post is about knowing that it won’t always be like this, but it’s hard right now. and you need to honour the “right now.”

Lastly, Bent Not Broken has a post about an exchange with a neighbour that got under her skin.  She writes: “I don’t write about this for sympathy, rather I write it to show that grief is not linear. This happened after a long period of doing really well, being confident, and fully embracing the life I’ve been given. And yet words, simple, innocent words, cut right through me.”  And that is precisely why I think this is an important read.

The roundup to the Roundup: Goodbye car.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 31st and September 7th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.