Category — Friday Blog Roundup

The Guardian had a good article about COVID-19 mistakes, which mostly comes down to the difference between can and should. There are plenty of things we’re allowed to do under CDC guidance. Depending on where you live, you are allowed to gather with ten people. You are allowed to eat indoors. But should you? That’s where we drop into the chasm. We mistake the fact that we’re allowed and end up believing that means it’s “safe.” Or, at the very least, “safer.” When, in reality, those parameters are often given to balance other factors such as mental health or the economy.

Anyway, I thought it was a good article. I especially thought this made things clear: “If you can smell someone’s garlic or alcohol breath, or cigarette smoke, you’re inhaling air carrying not just the smell of the garlic, alcohol or smoke, but any virus that’s leaving their nose or mouth if they’re infected.”

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

In Quest of a Binky Moongee has a roundup of good news, made even lovelier because it’s other people’s good donor egg/surrogacy pregnancy news. Plus, I love the story of the Honolulu friendship.

Movable Type has a heartbreaking post about COVID-19 loss. It’s a tiny post, containing a profound thought. “‘Cover your loved ones in death,’ because that will cause you to live your love for them, daily. To be present to their presence. Listen to their beating hearts and love them.” Go read it in context.

Lastly, By the Brooke writes about her book. She explains her feelings about its release: “The truth is that people will read it or they won’t and whatever happens, the stakes are actually not that high? I want to honor Eliza and how much I love her and how much she means to me. But also I could never write something good enough to do her justice, you know?” That just may be the best reason I’ve heard to write a book as well as the limitations of words.

The roundup to the Roundup: A good article about COVID-19 mistakes. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between Jan 29 – Feb 5) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

We have joined the double masking club. We don’t do it all the time (and I rarely do it at all because I’m not really of the leave-the-house set), but Josh uses two masks if he needs to enter the grocery store or donate blood. Somewhere he will be inside for an extended period of time. The paper mask sits tight against his face, and the cloth mask goes over it. It’s a hot look.

So I felt pretty damn good when Dr. Fauci gave double masking two thumbs up. (One thumb for each mask.)

While I rarely leave the house, I do have three favourite masks, and it has turned me into a little squirrel about hoarding the best masks. Once they’re dry, I grab them off the drying rack and hide them in my room so no one else can take them. The twins always ask, “How do you always get the soft grey one?” Quick fingers, dear children, quick fingers.

This is 2021.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “#Microblog Monday 334: Not All Rest Is the Same” (Stirrup Queens) —thanks, Phoenix!
• “My Old Life” (Infertile Phoenix)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Kveller has a beautiful piece about finding community with other infertile people. She writes: “It’s funny how when you’re going through something so very personal and challenging, you seek out people going through the same personal and challenging things. Misery — and infertility — love company … In many ways, these “cycle sisters” became my lifeline. I could talk to them about feelings I had that not even my best friends could understand.” The medium changes every few years: bulletin boards, blogs, Instagram. But the experience is similar: you find people who understand.

I have this post by Infertile Phoenix about her “old” life for this week. She writes, “In my old life I accommodated everyone. I did what was easiest for them. I did not value my own unique life and what it looked like and required. I ignored where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. I assumed it was just easier for everyone if we went with their plans, their schedule, their expectations. Ex-husband, friends, and family alike.” Even better, she explains how she built her new life. I love this post.

No Kidding in NZ is cleaning out her in-laws’ house and wondering what will happen to her own things in the future. She writes: “We are about to engage a real estate agent, and put the house on the market. What then, I wonder? Will we feel empty, and need new projects? Will we feel ridiculously free? Or perhaps we will turn inwards, and begin some more ‘death cleaning,’ this time with our own belongings?” It probably will be a little of all of the above, as she says. You can’t have something take over a large chunk of your life and emerge exactly the same on the other side.

Lastly, not IF but Grumpy Rumblings writes about their hand sanitizer addiction. Let’s just say that I understood. Deeply. 2021 is looking a lot like 2020.

The roundup to the Roundup: Double maskers unite! Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between Jan 22 – 29) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

I cried watching the inauguration. My cousin described it as the release of a four-year body clench, and I think that’s exactly how this has felt. Four years of harm after harm after harm—real harm, children in cages harm, people losing basic human rights harm. So I cried with relief that we got to this moment. That we’re in the movement forward vs. waiting for it.

The twins piled onto the bed with us to watch, and they indulged me by recreating a photo I took during Obama’s inauguration. I put the two images side by side—the very serious preschoolers vs the trying-not-to-laugh high schoolers. We ate chocolate that my sister sent. We clapped. We texted with friends.

It was a good day.

Though I had nightmares every night during the first half of the week. I’m exhausted.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “A Compliment That Made Me Cry (or, I Have No Dignity But A Lot Of Fun)” (My Path to Mommyhood)
• “Finding Beauty in the Weeds” (No Kidding in NZ)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Road Less Travelled points out an awful sentiment about people without children, where the worth of a person’s life is determined by whether or not they’re parenting. She writes, “Sometimes I feel like a sitting duck as a childless woman.” It’s scary.

An Engineer Becomes a Mom about an epiphany at work: “I’m introducing transformation to people who don’t want it.” Knowing that, she pauses to adjust and recalibrate, especially in the face of external stress. Change is hard and it comes slowly. Sometimes the best thing is to focus on that first step vs. knowing where that first step will lead.

Lastly, My Path to Mommyhood hit 800 posts and talks about renaming her blog. “I think this is the year I update my blog, or change it up to a new one. I hate change, but ‘My Path to Mommyhood’ is just not authentic to my experience anymore. I have been officially off that path for over three years, and it’s time to name it something different, or start something new.” It’s hard AND exciting to change a blog name. I’m looking forward to seeing what it becomes.

The roundup to the Roundup: The future is finally here. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between Jan 15 – 22) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Women accounted for 100% of jobs lost in December. 100%. That doesn’t include all the women who left their careers months ago because they took over leading remote education or other caregiving tasks.

In December, women lost a total of 156,000 jobs, while men gained 16,000 jobs, according to NWLC. Of the net 9.8 million jobs lost since [last] February, women have accounted for 55% of them.

It is really really really hard to feel hopeful.

I have a lot of fears about this week—especially about Inauguration Day—and I’m trying to combat it by taking my news only from trusted sources and only in small sips at a time. (I don’t need to circle the drain of commentary and opinion and prediction in an endless spiral.) I trust that Biden is the person for this moment; that he will bring years of experience (especially listening experience) and get this country back on course. I’m holding my breath, but I’m filled with a lot of hope. And I can’t wait to watch him take the oath on Wednesday.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

I don’t normally link to mainstream articles, but the New York Times has a personal essay at the intersection of fertility treatments and COVID-19. The writer developed COVID-19, and while she doesn’t know how she contracted the virus, she suspects that it’s connected to waiting outside the medical building or the retrieval itself. She writes, “A close friend was supposed to start her I.V.F. injections at the same time, but she decided to postpone at the last minute because Covid cases were so high in our area. By that point, we were so driven in our pursuit of pregnancy that I was startled to hear her say that, as the thought had never even crossed my mind.” It hit close to home because we all know that fertility is time sensitive. That waiting may mean that you protect yourself from COVID-19, but lose the chance to build your family. There are no good answers.

Pocobrat writes about shifting feelings. She feels great one day and sobs through the next, unable to get herself out of the maelstrom of feelings. She explains: “I couldn’t get it right; no one could get it right. I did the usual things that cheer me up (walk, star, snack, cook, bath, chats, distance meet, etc.), but nothing would take. At least I can say I tried.” You definitely should get points for trying.

Lastly, Infertile Phoenix’s brain remembers and then forgets a date, but her body won’t let it go. She ends up sick on the six year anniversary of her first failed IVF cycle. She writes, “Even when I don’t consciously remember the date, my body remembers on a physical level EVERY SINGLE YEAR. That’s how big of a loss it is for me.” Feel better.

The roundup to the Roundup: Holding hope. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between Jan 8 – 15) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Wednesday morning started with gifts from Befana. She didn’t travel this year because of COVID-19 guidelines (and Fauci never stated that she was vaccinated along with Santa), so she instead used all of her powers to magic the gifts to our house. The twins refrained from rolling their eyes because there was chocolate.

Wednesday evening ended with discussing the terrorists at the Capitol with tearful teenagers who spent their afternoon glued to NPR. It is hard to have your worst suspicions about humans confirmed.

I have a lot of other sentences that I’m writing and erasing. I will encourage you, when you feel your chest tightening, to step away from social media. It helps me a lot to take in events only via a few trusted news sites to have my brain quiet enough to think.

*******

Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Duke” (LindsayMader)
• “The Day After” (Infertile Phoenix)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Grumpy Rumblings has a great opening to their weekly link love post, calling out people who post about doing things that go against COVID-19 guidance. They write, “Even if you don’t spread Covid yourself, you may encourage someone who does.” Even if you do everything according to best practices, you still may get it, so it doesn’t make sense when people write about how they’re considering doing things that are a risk. As they say, “It only takes two mistakes in a two week period to infect someone.”

Risa Kerslake has a post about processing her infertility while taking a memoir writing class. Her first piece is being caught off-guard by her feelings. “I wrote about church. Because where else can an infertile couple feel so completely alone than in the very place you really probably shouldn’t?” Her words allow other people to feel how she felt that day, and give her insight in the power of a memoir—both for the reader to understand and for the writer to process what they went through.

An Unexpected Family Outing has a post about taking a day off when you’re having a miscarriage. It’s actually bananas that we live in a world where it isn’t a given that you’d step back to deal with the emotional side of things even if you can keep going physically. It is such a powerful post, including this: “I’m not going to list the reasons why. If you’ve ever had a miscarriage, then you know why. If you haven’t, then words can’t quite justify the pain and agony endured.”

Lastly, it’s not infertility-related, but it is mental health-related and I didn’t want it lost in all the other news of the week. Our Congressman Jamie Raskin wrote a very moving piece about his son who died this week. It is a hard read, but it’s an important read.

The roundup to the Roundup: Terrorists in the Capitol. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between Jan 1 – 8) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.