Category — Friday Blog Roundup

There was a great post on BlogHer this week about behaving “like a girl.”  How people use the phrase in a derogatory manner (throw like a girl, cry like a little girl, run like a girl).  There is a wonderful part in the post where the mother looks at her daughter and points out all the things she’d like to do “like a girl.”

I hope someday I can fly a kite like a girl. And do kung fu like a girl. And draw like a girl. And you know what? I wish I could cry like a girl. You get it all out, and then you look for the next thing, bouncing back with amazing speed. You don’t do like me, hold it inside as long as possible, letting it fester, bringing me down for days. You are not bitter.

Isn’t that brilliant?  I thought about all the little girls I know from family and friends and Girl Scouts and volunteering.  And I started compiling this list in my head of all the things I’d like to do like a girl.  I’d like to climb like a girl.  And hold hands with my friends like a girl.  And go all-out for spirit week like a girl.  And I’d like to write like a girl really loving what I create.

What would you like to do like a girl?

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Passed Right By – And Never Knew” (Diary of a Mom)
• “Commitment” (Seriously?!)
• “N is for Negative Pregnancy Tests” (Clay Baboons)
• “IF is Like a Video Game” (Braving IVF)
• “Eating Humble Pie” (I Believe in Miracles)
• “The Other Thing I Wish I’d Fought Back About” (Bébé Suisse)
• “Breather” (Ginger and Lime)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Infertile First Mom asks “What’s In a Loss?” after her only IVF cycle is cancelled.  It is a loss, she points out, even if the child never had a chance to grow inside of her; a goodbye to the person she has been hoping to have in her life.  And she brings in other losses; such as her first child who she placed for adoption 13 years ago.  She writes, “Yes, it was by my own choice and some would say that that makes a difference… but I promise you it didn’t make the pain hurt any less, just because I made the decision. The ache that I’m feeling right now is similar to the ache I felt 13 years ago when I let go of my baby girl. It’s a deep, hollow feeling that screams and echoes and reverberates throughout my body.  The feelings are similar, I believe, because both were born of that maternal love that is an innate part me… and so many of you.”  It’s a gorgeous, aching post.

Being Jamie Lynn has a post about realizing it has been a year since she last cycled.  I love the opening: “It’s hard to write when you don’t really know what direction you are heading in.  I wouldn’t say I’m lost, it’s more like I’m wandering.”  It’s a post about taking a deep breath and taking a step forward, even without knowing where that step will take you.

Life and Love in the Petri Dish has a post about telling family members about the pregnancy.  One reacts by telling her about other people who have also had a “difficult time” conceiving.  And her mother takes the opposite approach, reining herself in on asking about the specifics and instead just enjoying the big picture moment.  I loved the juxtaposition of the two different ways that two different people accepted and processed the information.

Lastly, there were so many good “Don’t Ignore” posts for NIAW this week.  I loved Life Without Baby’s post about not ignoring the option to resolve your infertility by living child-free.  She points out a reality within infertility: “In many ways, there’s a perception that infertility is never an insurmountable obstacle to a family, and that there is always a next step available. In theory, that’s somewhat true, but in practice, it’s never as simple as that, and many us find that we reach the end of our emotional or financial paths long before we exhaust the list of family building options available to us.”  She agrees that child-free is not an option that fits everyone, but that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t have the same support in place (or be discussed) as much as all the other ways people resolve infertility.  A great post.

The roundup to the Roundup: What would you do like a girl?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 20th and April 27th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard about the shooting in Dallas.  Verna McClain approached Kala Golden as she was carrying her three-day-old child to her car and shot her to death, snatching the newborn from his dying mother’s arms and driving away.

As the article states:

Ligon said McClain’s statement to investigators indicates that she shot the mother as part of a wider plan to kidnap any child and that Golden was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“There were statements as indicated in the arrest record that were made by Ms. McClain that led us to believe that, in fact, this was an intentional act on her part,” Ligon said. “Not that Ms. Golden was targeted specifically, but that this was part of a plan to kidnap a child.”

For a few days, they hadn’t released the reason for the intentional act.  But, of course, we all already knew that the choices were infertility, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death.  Because that is the reason always given; it fulfills one of the media’s regular roles for women who have experienced infertility or loss.  We are either selfish, desperate, or murderers.

The reason was released on Thursday: miscarriage.

The headline says that she “Has an Excuse You Won’t Believe.”  Except I will believe it because it’s pretty much always the reason given when we have one woman murder another woman and there is a baby involved.  Like, for instance, this one about another infertile woman who wants to steal your baby.

For once, I’d like to find an article that talks about how damaging our lack of ability as a society to discuss loss and empathize with people who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death can be.  One that points out that baby stealing is the extreme, but closer to home are millions upon millions of women and men who are unable to talk about their loss due to the not-so-subtle ways society tells them to shut up and suck it up.  I don’t know; one that doesn’t sensationalize loss but instead points out how common it really is.

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This week, I was sucked into several hours of “school” — by which I mean I and 26 stuffed animals all learned how to write and speak Chickatanian, the ChickieNob’s made-up language.  And just when I had hit my saturation point, thinking about the tofu fried rice I wanted to make downstairs for the love of G-d, I would be told that I now needed to go to room 1 (Chickatanian is taught in room 3) and learn all about apps, cars, and new computer products created at the Wolvog’s imaginary computer company (did you know that they have 50 factories and employ thousands of people?  Well, did you?).  Sometimes Josh would call during school and I’d whisper into the phone, “save me.”  But that’s the point: no one could save me.  It was like Misery, except with less Annie Wilkes and typewriters and more small children reminding me that they could always send me to see Mrs. Twiskers, the principal.

When I first heard the principal’s name, I assumed that they were saying Mr. Whiskers, our cat of earectomy fame.  But no, this was Mrs. Twiskers, and she was not invisible as I had originally assumed since… you know… there were only three people in the house.  The part of Mrs. Twiskers was being played by the knob on the bathroom door.  Though I was assured that she was a stern principal who would not deal with my nonsense.

Wanting to make tofu fried rice is not nonsense.

Save me.

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The real start of MFA Sunday School is this weekend.  A lot of people answered my request for topics, so I’m still sifting through that.  But I’ve written the first few lessons.  How to find time to write, character development, getting through writing obstacles and rejection.  So excited to be writing about writing again.  See you on Sunday morning with that.

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We’re at the midway point for The Analogy Project.  Have you written your analogy?

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 And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Finding Your Tribes” (The Smartness)
• “Baby Loss and the Pain Olympics” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Kathy!
• “2012 Book Spine Poem Gallery” (100 Scope Notes)
• “Baby Clothes in my Attic and Hope in My Closet” (A Blanket 2 Keep)
• “Real Success Stories” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Happy Easter and a Visit with Gabrielle” (Adrift on a Dandelion Breeze)
• “Normal” (Littlemanbig)
• “Sestina” (Where Love and Chaos Reign)
• “Lessons Learned” (From IF to When)
• “Titanic – Part II: Haven Exploration” (Bereaved and Blessed)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Something Out of Nothing has a beautiful post about her mother who died two years ago.  Every single paragraph is verbal love, the words carefully chosen and arranged to honour a life.  She writes of her grief over the loss: “Not for the memory of my mother, all that remains of her now and what I will carry with me the rest of my life–the birthday cakes and French braids, homemade dresses and school plays.  What I mourned, even in those first moments, was what will never be.  My mother never holding my child in her arms.”  It’s an amazing post.

A Half Baked Life has a post about The Listserve and the responsibility the owners need to bring to the project, especially as they tread on emotional territory.  The question becomes who is responsible if the listserve devolves into name calling or hate speech?  Bringing in an example of allowing her five-year-old to use her stand mixer, she concludes: “But maybe the analogy is more appropriate when conceived this way: the makers of the stand mixer, which is a tool, are not responsible for the quality of my cake, or for my five-year-old’s fingers.  I also think that the responsibility rests on the users.  After all, they’ve signed up for this experience.”  Food for thought.

Glow in the Woods contains a gorgeous post by Mrs. Spit about grief being a form of magic.  Always a great writer, Mrs. Spit weaves the time of day — the gloaming — into a play on words over the simple phrase: “see, magic.”  It’s one of those posts that are so carefully constructed that they defy description: you just need to experience it.

Lastly, A Woman My Age has a post about the woman she thought she’d become vs. the woman she became.  This thought sent chills down both arms; it is so so so brilliant: “So now when I feel a wash of sadness for not ever being one of “those” women wearing size 4 Lululemons with a baby in a sling and a toddler in tow driving a Volvo through a cute part of town, I remind myself  that I have never been the other woman.  I have just wasted a lot of time wishing I was.”  Now go read the whole post.

The roundup to the Roundup: A tragic murder gets explained via miscarriage.  I have become a student again.  MFA Sunday School kicks off this weekend.  Don’t forget the Analogy Project.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 13th and April 20th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Okay, last thoughts on food.  I am seriously fascinated by the various ways we think about the things we put in our mouths.

That just sounded dirty.

Lori raised a good point: what is the definitely of a foodie?  Is it only the food consumer, or is it also the food preparer?  Can you be a foodie if you like to prepare food, but you don’t like to eat it?  Obviously, you could be a foodie if you consumed food but never prepared it.  But could you call a chef who doesn’t take great pleasure in consuming food a “foodie?”

I guess I’ve always seen the word as solely a term for the consumer of food and not the preparer.  My view point is obviously skewed because I make a lot of food I don’t consume.  First and foremost, I cook meat and I’ve never tasted it.  I judge its doneness based on temperature and look.  So far, unless everyone is lying to me and just enduring my cooking, it’s working well.  I guess how things taste based on smell, and I create new recipes for meat accordingly by pairing together ingredients that just smell “right” with one another.  Or I follow another person’s recipe.  Ina Garten hasn’t steered me wrong.

I also love baking and candy-making; both activities bring me great pleasure.  But I often don’t eat what I make.  I gave up sugar a few months ago so I didn’t, for instance, consume anything that I made for Purim.  They seemed to bring other people great oral pleasure (unless, of course, they’re lying to me), but I had no desire to taste any of it.  I see the act of preparation as very separate from the act of consumption, though I know this isn’t the case for other people.  I enjoy cooking, I enjoy baking, I enjoy making up new recipes and I enjoy giving food to other people; but I don’t always enjoy consuming the products that I just enjoyed preparing.  I make them because their preparation makes me happy and giving them away seems to make other people happy.  And I totally get that it brings someone else happiness, but consuming these things would not make me happy.

I would never describe myself as a foodie, because I see a foodie as a willing, open-minded receiver.  And while I’m a willing, open-minded giver, I am absolutely not a willing, open-minded receiver of even my own preparations.

What do you think?  Is foodie only the consumer or does it also apply to the preparer when the two are mutually exclusive?

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A few years ago, I wrote an eleven-part series on getting a book published. (You need to unfortunately read it from the bottom up since the top post is the eleventh or final post.)  A bunch of people told me that it was helpful, and I’m obviously still open to answering any questions as you try to get a book published.  But book publishing is a pretty small part of getting an MFA.  The much larger focus is on becoming a better writer, and part of that is trying your hand at various exercises.  I think there is a lot of common, usable good that can come from an MFA program especially in regards to blog writing and building a blog, but it’s a pretty inaccessible degree.  Unless you get a fellowship, it’s an expensive degree in the sense that it isn’t easy to make back the money spent.  And not many writers have the time to commit to finishing a writing degree.

So I’m offering it for free.  The contents of my brain and seven straight years of workshop.  Oh, and the experience I’ve had as an editor of two literary magazines, writing professor, two books, and a handful of published poems.  I’m not the only one for the job — there are far better writers on the Internet and I’ll be yanking them in here from time to time — but I am the one who is offering up all this content and all my connections for free.  And hey, free is good.

I’m calling it MFA Sunday School because I’ll post on most Sunday mornings.  If you don’t want to follow along, skip that first post on Sundays (since I have a tendency to also write my own thoughts about life on Sundays as a warm up for other writing).   If you do want to follow along from home, you can either read the post on Sundays or read the post at your leisure.  Collect them up in your Google Reader and do the exercises in your spare time.  The comment section of the posts will be for people to post a link to their own work (due to length, I’m going to ask people to post on their own blogs and then just leave a link that people can follow back to your space.  Unless you don’t have a space on the Web, and then feel free to post the whole piece of writing) and they will be open indefinitely.

MFA Sunday School will cover the basics of poetry — free form and fixed form.  The basics of short story writing.  How to dissect fiction and then use what you learn to enhance your own work.  How to develop a novel.  How to write creative non-fiction.  How to look at your own work with a critical eye.  How to submit to literary magazines.  How to pitch to editors.  How to form a relationship with a writing partner and look at each other’s work with a critical eye.  Critique of query letters.  And any other topics you’d like to know about that are usually covered in an MFA program.

This Sunday, I can post a formal opening to the project and take votes on topics.  That post would be the one where I’d ask everyone who plans to participate to introduce themselves so people could find writing partners via the comment section.

BUT I would like to know now if this sounds interesting to you, if you think you’d want to drop in and out depending on whether or not the topic of the week resonates with you (see, another good part about a free online MFA course — you don’t have any required credits to complete).  If this idea doesn’t resonate with you, there is no need to write these posts.  I already have the information in my brain.  But I like connecting with people who like to write, who want to write better, who want to understanding the process of writing, who like words and want to play with them.  So if you’re game, let me know and we can get started this Sunday.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Pain Olympics” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Being Counted” (Stirrup Queens) – thank you, Lori!
• “The Little Fertility Clinic that Could and Almost Didn’t” (The Infertility Voice)
• “Biting the Hand that Feeds Me” (Project Progeny)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings has a fun post that made me think about how feelings towards characters change over time (and while all of you are not characters, I think the same can apply for bloggers themselves).  She admits that while she didn’t like Ginny Weasley that much at first, the character grew on her over the course of the Harry Potter series and later became her favourite.  I tried to think of places where this has happened.  Can you think of any?  Go over and let her know — it’s fun to consider.

The latest post in the Faces of ALI series on Too Many Fish to Fry is a moving portrayal of one of my favourite bloggers.  It is exactly the type of story we wish the media would cover.  I love how Loribeth isn’t presented as solely an infertile woman — she is so much more than her uterus.  She is a historian, a memory keeper, a family member.  I cried when Loribeth called her mother after Katie’s death as well as the realizations she had holding her daughter.  It’s a gorgeous post — well-written and important to read if you want to understand how infertility affects a life.

My Life in a Nut Shell has a post about not feeling like herself.  She is currently pregnant again and holding her breath after prior losses.  She writes, “I just wish that I could find myself again and have this pregnancy be something I’m experiencing rather than it being who I am.”  It’s a moving post about losing who you are and hoping you can find yourself again.

Nuts in May has a great post about different ways of handling emotions, utilizing the term sidler to great success.  It is a look into the marriage of a compartmentalizer and a dealer (one who likes to deal directly with the issue), and what happens when the two attempt to communicate.  She sums it up perfectly here: “It’s all very well saying I can vent on the internet and get all those lovely supportive comments to make me feel better. You, Gentle Readers, do make me feel better. But you’re not very cuddly, and your neck doesn’t smell faintly of sandalwood and citrus, and you don’t make me tea.  And anyway, I like the feeling that the inside of my head is of some interest to my spouse. It’s not a feeling I’ve had for a good while. And I like the feeling that care and consideration of the spouse’s state of mind is reciprocal, not a one-way street.”  Go read the whole thing.

Lastly, Destined to be an Old Woman with No Regrets has lessons learned from an argument with her toddler, with ideas that apply to so many interactions in life.  I’m going to make you go over to read the whole situation, but I love the point she makes at the end: “At first my reaction was, ‘Ha! I won’. But that really wasn’t it at all. In the end, we both won, simply because we listened to each other. She got to make a choice and I got to set the parameters that would ensure not only that she was safe, but that I made it home in one piece physically and emotionally.”  Great lesson.

The roundup to the Roundup: What is the definition of a foodie?  Want to participate in MFA Sunday School?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 6th and April 13th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Pesach (Passover) starts tonight.  We made our own hagaddah (which is the book you read from during the seder, which is the meal/service you hold on the first two nights of the eight day holiday), which sounded like a brilliant plan when I said it one night right before bed (“Hey, Josh! Let’s make our own hagaddah!) yet wasn’t quite so brilliant in actual execution.  Still, our hagaddah doesn’t contain the phraseology I’ve seen in other haggadot that makes my skin crawl including the line about “barren women.”

I’m serving Spanish food tonight — grilled meats and lots of vegetable tapas including a tortilla espanola.  I know it’s not the most traditional fare for Ashkenazi Jews, but it reminds me of my cousin and this night when we went out for tapas during Pesach.  When you take paella, jamon, and shellfish out of the mix, it’s sort of the perfect Pesadic food.  And, if you’ve read Life from Scratch, you’ve probably guessed that I’m pretty comfortable preparing Spanish dishes.  Plus, I am not a fan of kugel.  Or tzimmes.  Or any of the traditional seder foods.  Though I am serving matzo ball soup at my second seder.  Because matzo ball soup is so damn good.

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On Wednesday night, I did my first tripod headstand in yoga class.  I wasn’t even going to try (I was just sitting cross-legged on my mat watching everyone else and had already told my friend that I didn’t feel like trying that night), but then I thought I’d appease my teacher by at least placing my head of the floor.  And then putting my hands in the right position.  And then I pushed up on my toes and paused there for a bit.  I was about to come out of it and sit for the rest of this portion of the class when I decided to try putting my knees on my arms — something that has caused me to collapse in a heap during the last two months worth of attempts.  But that night, my knees rested on my arms and my feet came off the floor.  And then I heard myself shrieking my teacher’s name at a very un-yoga-like volume, thinking I was going to fall out of it within seconds.  But I just stayed up.  For minutes.  Indefinitely.

I came out of it and tried it three more times, each time easily getting into it.  My only thought was that I needed to get home and show Josh.  When I got home, I pulled the twins out of bed, and everyone gathered in the hallway upstairs to watch me get into a tripod handstand.

I don’t know.  The world really does look different upside down.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Change” (MoJo Working)
• “What Did You Give Up, To Get What You Got?” (Truth and Cake)
• “Bearing Witness” (Destined to be an Old Woman with No Regrets)
• “Blessed (children mentioned a lot)” (Project Progeny)
• “Fading Memories” (Once a Mother)
• “Safe Blogging” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, St Elsewhere
• “The Honest Truth” (Unglamourous)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Finding My New Normal has a post this week about realizing that she never found out her son’s blood type, and that this is just one of many facts about her son that she’ll never know.  She tried to find the answer in the postmortem report and endured reading about his death only to discover that the information wasn’t there.  It is about having one of the closest relationships — mother and child — and being unable to know the small intimate details of a person you love, a realization that I think will resonate not only those who have lost their child but those who missed out on any time in the beginning of their child’s life.

Bébé Suisse did NaBloPoMo last month and used the theme — Whether — to look at the last question that occurred to her with the blogging project: whether she would do it again.  She writes, “In addition to giving me a better understanding of myself and my sorrow (and anger and jealousy and …) and allowing me to meet and create bonds with you, it helped me to grow as a writer, and it gave me a structure and feeling of accomplishment my days sometimes lack. All of that is good.”  I just don’t know a better reason to blog.  Period.  Whether it is daily or however often you need it.

Scrambled Eggs has a very moving, raw, and deeply honest post about the way infertility has changed her marriage.   When they took their vows, they thought their early years would be a time of close bonding; not high stress.  She admits, “To say our marriage has been “tested” can seem like an understatement. Some days I feel the universe waltzed up and took a gigantic shit on it. Lately we have been sleeping in separate bedrooms. We are tense and snap at each other. Some days I can’t stand to be near him, and some days he can’t stand to be near me.”  She asks if the damage that infertility has caused can be undone.  This post was written for herself, but in stepping forward and telling these truths, she has opened the door for others in her comment section to say, “me too.”

(In)fertility Unexplained starts the post by warning that it will be incoherent, but I actually found a lot to think about in her writing.  Digging back to childhood, she explores how being taught stoicism has affected how she is processing infertility.  She looks at the pros and cons of being solution-focused rather than exploring feelings.  It just gives a lot to think about.

Lastly, TheStorkDiaries has a post inverting other posts she recently read (this is when I think the blogosphere is at its best — when we jump off of each other’s ideas and give our thoughts on someone else’s thoughts) not framing those who are not here as the ghosts, but instead exploring the idea of herself in the position of ghost, separate from her own life.  She explains: “Every day, I see people.  I hear them.  I think they think they see me too, but they don’t.  What they don’t understand is that it hurts for me to be around them.  They may know uncertainty, but they don’t know my uncertainty.  They may experience despair, but they don’t know my despair.   They have not felt what I have felt; they have not seen what I have seen.”  It’s a beautiful response to the idea of otherness.

The roundup to the Roundup: Pesach starts tonight.  I mastered the tripod headstand!  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 30th and April 6th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I got the entire Harry Potter collection on e-book.  Yes, we own them as paper books which means we questioned the sanity of this purchase.  The only reason I know we made the right choice is that once they were in my e-reader, my body immediately relaxed, as if I was clutching a security blanket.  I stress-read Harry Potter books, a nice replacement for when I used to turn to chocolate to fit that need, and now I can have all seven books with me at all times.  Heady.

I would still be floundering if not for the BlogHer post on how to purchase them and get them on your various e-readers.  Getting them on a Kindle and the like is pretty straightforward, but BlogHer had instructions in the comment section on how to get them into places such as iBooks.  This is why I love BlogHer: I asked all my questions (and I had a lot of them) in the comment section and they all were answered.  Sassymonkey rocks.

And now I have a lot of books with me at all times.

Nine-year-old Melissa would have killed to have had the ability to have a tiny iTouch in her pocket filled with books and whip it out during recess rather than lugging a big library hardback on the playground.

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Thank you to everyone who has already submitted, commented, or spread word about The Analogy Project.  I’m really excited about it, and think it has the potential to be a great tool for promoting understanding between communities.  So the gathering is the first part, and the dissemination — getting the posts read — is the second part each month.  I think this is going to rock, and I’m grateful to everyone who is along for the ride.

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The April IComLeavWe list opened this morning.  Hope you join along for the month.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Yearning, Sorrow, and Sadness and Asking for Help” (The Guild of Knitting Kninjas)
• “Keep ’em Close” (Waiting for Little Feet)
• “There Can Only Be So Many Dates” (Mommy Odyssey)
• “Using Motherhood as an Excuse” (Stumbling Gracefully)
• “S.T. Song # 12 & The Down Side” (MissConception)
• “Babies Love Fat” (InfertilityAwakening)
• “Cycle Day Something” (The Stork Diaries)
• “SPAM – the sub” (Gorillabuns)
• “Tornadoes” (Searching for Our Silver Lining)
• “My Article” (Nurture Your Hopes)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Road Less Travelled has a post about anniversaries.  For many years, she needed to mark the loss of her daughter Katie by months, circling the important days on each calendar page.  And then time faded the need for the month markers, leaving only the yearly anniversaries to serve as a moment of pause.  It’s a beautiful post about time changing things.

Family Rock: The Life of Peg has a post about kids and sports that struck close to home for me and made me think.  It’s about how we inadvertently reinforce the pressure kids put on themselves to succeed (in this case, it’s swimming but this post could just as easily be about any activity where people are ranked or there are thresholds of achievement).  It’s a unique situation because the author is raising her nieces and could see the outlook build over the years.  It’s an important read with a great perspective.

My Lady of the Lantern has a gorgeous moment captured between mother and daughter.  It is a very brief post; one that defies explanation and is something you need to just experience since the author makes you feel as if you are right there, observing.

IF Crossroads has a post about the extraneous reasons that may come into play in treating infertility, namely, that desire to beat the disease which can be just as powerful as wanting to be a parent.  It can have such a hold over us that we’re willing to continue on a path that isn’t working just for another attempt to prove a point rather than switching to a path out of infertility that fits better.  And it’s also an explanation for why infertility doesn’t end with parenthood.  It’s a great post.

Still Life with Circles has a post about a found note.  As a fellow lover of found items (especially notes tucked in library books), I immediately settled into this post with a cozy smile, which changed to a head cocked to the side movement as I read the meat of the post — this concept of failure.  She tells the chilling story of a friend’s idea of the purpose of his life: “Since he couldn’t live without alcohol, perhaps God’s purpose for him was to be the one who didn’t make it. God wanted him to be the one who failed. That was going to be his success.  He said it comforted him in the darkest points of his life to think that maybe his suffering could alleviate someone else’s suffering.”  The author refocuses the concept of failure and creates a gorgeous, thought-provoking post in the process.

Lastly, Writing for Life has an important post about being focused on individual blog readers.  About both the idea of people in her face-to-face world reading her blog and having it influence how they see her, as well as the idea of strangers coming to the blog to judge when they don’t really know her (or the situation) at all.  Thinking through this anxiety has brought her to a place of clarity: “So who do I write for? Well, honestly, for the first time I now know I write for myself, to sort out my feelings, reflect on what’s been and my thoughts on what’s next. I mean I knew it before but I didn’t really know. The second reason for writing this out on a public platform I realized is for the anonymous reader who are dealing (or have dealt) with a similar situation.”

The roundup to the Roundup: I have all the Harry Potter e-books and I’m in love.  Excited about The Analogy Project.  April IComLeavWe list is open.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 23rd and March 30th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.