Category — Friday Blog Roundup

Okay, I’ll bite.

There is a story going around of an infertile vegetarian who finally ate meat once she became pregnant after IVF and the media credits meat for her ability to carry her pregnancy.

This is the headline: “Vegetarian eats meat, falls pregnant with triplets.”

Unless “falling pregnant” includes doing three rounds of IVF to get pregnant and THEN eating meat, the meat had nothing to do with treating her infertility.  Whether it helped her to carry to term is unprovable.  Certainly a lot of protein is needed to carry a triplet pregnancy.  Even with twins, we had to resort to tricks such as “double the milk,” melting powdered milk into regular milk to up the protein content in the drink.

But meat isn’t the only way to get protein, and I would argue that it’s not even the easiest way to intake healthy protein.  It’s easier to open two lids — one for Greek yogurt with 17 grams of protein and another for a serving of peanuts with 24 grams of protein — for a 41 grams of protein meal vs. preparing a 30 grams of protein chicken breast when you’re already queasy and tired.  Yes, while eating meat may work for a certain person who doesn’t include a lot of other protein sources in their diet, vegetarian-heavy diets that are common in various religions and other parts of the world point to the fact that you don’t need to eat meat to have a baby.

I am so tired of the one-solution-fits-all presentation of ideas in the media.

But the thing is, giving up vegetarianism isn’t something she did because she was willing to do anything including choke down meat to carry her triplets.  The reason she started eating meat is that she had a craving:

“But then my hunger kicked in and despite never eating meat I craved it. I ate about six meals a day.”

She craved it in the same way that I craved banana bread during pregnancy even though I never ate it beforehand and haven’t eaten it since.  Similarly, the woman is back to being a vegetarian.

I think it rocks that this women did something that works for her, but the coverage of it is inane.  It is being treated as one more “just how far will you go to have that child of your dreams?”  Just how desperate are desperate people?  And if you’re not willing to do likewise (whatever that likewise may be: do IVF, adopt, eat meat), then the message is that you must not want it “enough.”

Mark my words: someone is going to have a blog post between now and Christmas where a family member suggests eating more meat in order to become pregnant.  Who wants to take me up on a bet?

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Twitter: the Party EVERYONE was Invited to” (Fox in the Hen House)
• “The Other Woman” (a guest post)
• “This is My Body, Sacred and Scarred” (Five Kids is A Lot of Kids)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Old Lady and No Baby has a post about announcing her pregnancy on Facebook.  After hesitating for a long time, she finally posted the news and got to experience the joy of a (very) long-awaited pregnancy announcement.  The post just made me smile.

Life As I Know It has a post about the blahs, as explained: “You know how when you get overwhelmed with life and you just can’t seem to come up with the words to purge your brain of all the insanity?”  I think it was the line about being tired of fighting all the time that got under my skin and made me nod.

A+ Effort (new name of an old blogger) has a post about how she chose the new name as well as how she chose the gold star for her avatar.  I like this post because I think too often we’re focused on judging ourselves (and others) by the end product and don’t take into account effort.  Effort counts for a lot; maybe even more than the big successes that come easily.

Similarly, Mama Asterisk (another old blogger in a new space) has a post about why she moved places.  I love love love this explanation for the new digs: “Because, you see, this blog is about me. And with the old blog focused on getting to my son, it was really his story. And I no longer feel comfortable telling his story to the world. His story belongs to him. This is my story. He may make some cameo appearances, but this space belongs to me.”

And continuing in that vein, If You Don’t Stand for Something has a post about missing her blog and needing her space.  Feeling unable to write, she takes those bottled up feelings into the face-to-face world.  I love it when she says: “When I woke up today, I just told myself to write anything, any feelings I had, just to put them to paper (er…tablet?) and get them out there and have faith that eventually the words would come again and the feeling of normalcy would slowly make its way back into my life.”  But really, it was this brilliant thought: “I feel like there are all these mountains and each one is something I’m trying to conquer: feeling ‘normal’ again, resolving our infertility, husband, work, family, friends. Each one is its own mountain and I’m trying to climb them all at once.” that made me love this post so much.  No one can climb multiple mountains at the same time, so if those extra problems aren’t like annoying mountain climbing partners, they need to wait their turn.  Glad she’s writing again.

MoJo Working has a post about having one foot in the infertile world and one foot in the pregnancy world and feeling out of sorts.  She writes: “That’s how I’m feeling these days. Like I’m in that shadowy no-mans land. Not happily ensconced in pregnancy, nor railing against infertility.”  I love this post because she so eloquently sums up what so many of us feel when we enter that state of disbelief, unable to give ourselves over fully since we’ve been burned before.

Lastly, Once a Mother has a very moving post on what should have been her daughter’s fifth birthday.  It’s a life that was lived in 28 days, but it is so clear from the love radiating from the words on the screen that Peyton’s mark in this world was enormous.  I couldn’t read this post without crying.

The roundup to the Roundup: Eating meat will [not] get you pregnant.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 30th and September 6th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Keiko sent me the Mindset List for the class of 2017, the incoming freshman at Beloit College.  The point is to give people the students’ frame of reference, building the lens through which they see the world.  These kids have never known a world with a living Jerry Garcia.  I was in my grandmother’s apartment when I learned that Jerry died.  I got on the phone immediately with my boyfriend.  Jerry was dead and THESE FRESHMAN WEREN’T EVEN BORN YET.

Their whole lives, the Olympics have been every two years.  They’ve never had a four year wait between Olympics.  They have always had USB ports on their computers — WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE COMPUTERS.  Most of them have never had chicken pox.

The list made me feel very very old.

I looked at the list of the people who started college in 1998 since it was the first Mindset List they created, but even that one made me feel old.  Those kids never had records.  They don’t remember the Cold War or the Challenger blowing up.

They think our Star Wars special effects are “pathetic.”  Fuck them!

These lists have made me become very ornery, yelling in a cranky manner at the screen about my uphill walk to school both ways.  And how we liked it.

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The twins and I have started the fifth Harry Potter and joined the Order of the Phoenix.  I know I originally said that I would wait until they were much older for Book 5.  But I started thinking about how books 1 – 3 go together in terms of scariness.  And then there is a steep drop to 4 and 5.  And then another steep drop to 6 and 7.  So if they could do 4, they could also do 5.  Whereas in 6, we start getting into the idea of murder splitting a soul and the concept of what makes a person take another person’s life (and the fact that there are people out there who kill not because they have a problem with the other person but because they enjoy the act of killing).  And 6 kicks off that idea that there is nowhere that is completely safe and no one who will always be there to protect you, which I think are very scare thoughts for a child.  So… yeah… drawing a hard line for a bit longer with Book 6, but allowing Book 5 to happen now.

I am so happy to be back with Harry, even though we were totally grooving on the Kairos.  We’ll come back to you, Murry family.

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This is it: LAST TWO DAYS.  This is over on Saturday.  It’s the last chance to get Measure of Love at $1.99. (Amazon featured it as a monthly deal for the Kindle for the entire month of August.)  I would deeply appreciate any help you could give in getting word out about the promotion.  Telling a friend, Facebooking it, tweeting it, blogging about it, etc.

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I sure would like to do something nice for Melissa,” helping me spread word for these final two days would be it.  That would be the nice thing you could do that I would really really appreciate.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Not Just Baby” (Life as Two)
• “Grief Intelligence: a Primer” (Huffington Post)
• “Should We Stop Blaming Facebook for Our Unhappiness?” (BlogHer) — thank you, Lori!
• “Next Chapter: Surrogacy” (Moonfish and Buttermilk)
• “Dear Friends of Waiting Adoptive Moms: Some Things to Know (also, we’re sorry)” (Wonderment, etc)
• “Knowing Our Limits; Even When it Hurts” (Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork?)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Stupid Broken Eggs has a post about her mother’s recipe for gravy (which we call tomato sauce); how her mother gave her the card with the recipe written out, and the first time she made the recipe back for her mother.  She writes, “Will my son or daughter ever come to be? Will I ever get to pass this recipe on to them? Will they ever get to make their version of The Gravy for me?”  Since she doesn’t know the answer to that, she has turned the recipe over to the Internet, giving all of us the opportunity to share in her family.  I LOVE this post.  And yes, I’m going to try my hand at the recipe; sans meat.

Invincible Spring has a post about the panda twins born at the National Zoo.  Admittedly, I only heard about the one panda who lived.  There was another panda who was born still.  She writes, “And when I read that she groomed her dead baby for 17 minutes before relinquishing it to keepers for an autopsy, not only did I cry; I felt I got it, a little.”  My heart hurt on her play with the word “endangered” at the end.

Inconception has a post about how she thought about people living child-free after infertility before she made the decision herself, and how she views them now.  I love, love, love the end: “The reality of it is, now that I’ve made it, walking away from treatment is one of the bravest decisions I have ever made in my life.”

And lastly, Battlefish cracked me up with her post about bra shopping.  As someone who would go to the ends of the earth for a good bra, she’s hit upon one of my favourite topics.  I too am guilty of holding onto bras I know I will never wear again.  Now I’m just waiting for the update to find out if the bra was any good.

The roundup to the Roundup: The Mindset List made me feel old.  Started Harry Potter 5 with the twins.  Measure of Love is on sale for only two more days (and I’d love your help continuing to get word out).  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 23rd and 30th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

This is pretty much it — the end of August and the last chance to get Measure of Love at $1.99. (Amazon featured it as a monthly deal for the Kindle for the entire month of August.)  I would deeply appreciate any help you could give in getting word out about the promotion.  Telling a friend, Facebooking it, tweeting it, blogging about it, etc.

I notice when you do.  It means a lot to me.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Goodbye Ramona, Hello Margaret” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Tiara.
• “Whatever It Is…” (Where the *Bleep* is our Stork?)
• “Just What?” (Where the *Bleep* is our Stork?)
• “On Acceptance” (Two Adults, One Child)

Okay, now my choices this week.

I too had marked “On Acceptance” by Two Adults, One Child for the Roundup when I read it last Friday.  It begins with a moment of perfect peace on the ride to work.  It was a difficult day emotionally: the unfulfilled due date, what should have been her second child’s second birthday.  She juxtaposes that internal turmoil with the quiet, constant hum of the car engine, and what the reader gets is a heartbreaking thought: acceptance that her babies are truly and irrecoverably gone.  She writes, “I am tired.  And I don’t particularly want to play this game anymore.”  It’s just a gorgeous post.

Stepping Stones has a post about the movie Up, making me see it in a way that I hadn’t seen it before.  The first time she watched it, she didn’t know she was infertile.  And now she is step-parenting while still trying to build her family years later in this new marriage.  While her description of what people can draw from the plot is amusingly accurate, it was the end lines of the post that got under my skin: “I love Bear for asking if I wanted to turn the movie off (which I did after the funeral scene) and for holding my hand while I was watching it and for offering to put it on for the kids sometime when I’m not home.”

Lastly, In Quest of a Binky Moongee has a post about her husband’s second cousin’s baby.  Namely, about a text that may or may not have been sent years earlier, highlighting a tension that exists in the family.  Compounding that is the fact that the cousin got pregnant easily, and it is now time to see the baby.  After outlining all the ways she planned to comport herself before the door opened, she writes, “I don’t know why I am holding grudges against a fertile woman and her baby.   When that door opened and when I saw that little face, my heart melted.”  It’s a really sweet post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Measure of Love is on sale for only a little bit longer (and I’d love your help continuing to get word out).  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 16th and 23rd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

My cousin was checking something on her iPhone when the Wolvog walked through the room and immediately came over because he is like a moth to flame when it comes to screens.  It doesn’t matter if he is holding the very same device; he needs to see yours too.  Somehow it came up that he had set up his iPod to read aloud passages of text in Siri’s voice.  But he informed us that you don’t have to use Siri’s voice.  You could have a robotic British man or an electronic Australian woman.

“How do you do that?” we asked him.

You go under General Settings and click on Accessibility.  Turn “Speak Selection” on, then tap “Dialects.”  Under English, you can choose from the follow accents: US, Australian, British, Irish, or South African.

I like the British man, but he sounds a little uptight.  Like the sort of guy who enjoys wearing a suit.  Whereas my Australian woman — I call her Kylie — sounds like the sort of person who would be a good travelmate.  She’s fun without being flighty.  She’s a good conversationalist.  She has ideas… I mean, no, she doesn’t actually share any ideas with me since she’s a robotic voice simply reading what I highlight on the screen.  But you can just tell from her voice that there is a lot going on behind the screen.

I really love my phone.

Thanks, Mr. Jobs.

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Speaking of Mr. Jobs, I really want to see the new Steve Jobs biopic.  I’ve heard that I’m one of the only people in the world to say that, but I read Walter Isaacson’s biography when it came out for the Wolvog. (I would read it at night, and then tell him about it in the morning.)  And it sounds as if the movie is simply the book as a motion picture.  So… I’m going.

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August is halfway over!  Amazon chose Measure of Love to feature as one of the books of the month for the entirety of August.  Which is all kinds of cool, and they’re offering it as a $1.99 deal on Kindle.  I’d still love any help in getting word out there about the promotion.  And a massive thank you to everyone who has already Facebooked and tweeted.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “This Is…” (Kmina’s Blog)
• “Trying” (Tales from the Waiting Room)
• “Mind and Heart” (Bébé Suisse)
• “The Tightrope of Life” (It Is What It Is (or Is It?))
• “What Comes” (My Lady of the Lantern)
• “When I Look at Him” (Unparalleled Love)
• “Help, My Sister Had a Baby!” (Here’s that Bad Advice You Were Hoping For)

Okay, now my choices this week.

MissConception has a deeply honest post about how the past doesn’t control her, but it has changed the person she’s become, and that extends to her role as wife.  She admits, “I feel bad about the wife I’ve been for the last couple of years. I feel like I should be ready and willing to get back to who I was, especially with finally reaching my goal of becoming a mom. Shouldn’t happiness lead to more intimacy?”  It’s about seeing the problem but not knowing how to change it.  I love that people chimed in within the comment section.  Blogging lets you know that you’re really not alone.

It Is What It Is (or Is It?) also has a post about marriage.  I was also touched by the raw honesty of this one, especially how she processes that flatness.  And follow up posts are about how blogging about it has moved her toward treating the problem.

The Misadventures of MissOhkay has a post about coming out of the blogging closet with a new site and the way she writes (hint: she is not worried about things).  She writes, “I used to blog because I really NEEDED IT. It was my therapy. I think it was better than the actual therapy I did. Now I blog because I like to blog. I am introspective. I enjoy thinking about things and hearing what you think about things.”  I just love that.

Lastly, The Great Big IF has a post about the research she is doing into various paths of family building.  As she points out, obsessions demand attention.  And her research makes her feel as if there is forward momentum, even if she knows rationally that they’re still far away from starting a donor egg cycle.  I love the end of the post, comparing it to the two ways people approach looking at real estate.

The roundup to the Roundup: My phone speaks to me in an Australian accent.  I want to see the Steve Jobs biopic.  Measure of Love is on sale (and I’d love your help continuing to get word out).  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 9th and 16th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

The Wolvog has started his own game of Candy Crush.  Early one morning, he waited until I was half awake and then whispered, “I need help passing a level.”  So I crawled into his bed and coached him, explaining why I was moving each candy.  It took us two tries, but then we passed.  And I climbed back into my bed and went back to sleep.

I have to help him; I know how it feels to struggle with a board.  Oh yes, I know how it feels.

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I went on holiday with my siblings and our parents, and we ended up at an arcade one night.  There are two things I rarely do in front of other people: play piano and play pinball.  I don’t really know why; they’re just both things I like to do without an audience.  A few years ago, I picked up the kids from school and took them to an arcade so they could see me rock the pinball machine, but since then, I haven’t played in front of anyone.

But there was a Sopranos pinball machine at the arcade, and in honour of James Gandolfini, I dropped my two quarters into the machine.

And yes, I am bragging: I got over 16 million as my score the first time playing it.  And 5 extra balls during the game.  And yes, I did take a photo of the machine afterward because I am a freakin’ pinball wizard.

There are a few things I’m really proud of: my chocolate chip cookies, my parenting skills, and my pinball wizardry.  I have no clue how I got those crazy flipper fingers.

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Amazon chose Measure of Love to feature as one of the books of the month for the entirety of August.  Which is all kinds of cool, and they’re offering it as a $1.99 deal on Kindle.  I’d still love any help in getting word out there about the promotion.  And a massive thank you to everyone who has already Facebooked and tweeted.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Leaving” (And Then There Were Two)
• “Coexisting” (MissConception)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Res Cogitatae has a post about an amazing moment when her toddler was able to explain himself to her for the first time.  When he stops wanting to take a path to the playground, it puzzles her until she has a conversation with her son and connects all the pieces.  I love this post because I can still remember my moment like this with the Wolvog when I realized he had just explained himself.  It’s a really magical moment to capture, and she does such a great job of following those complex thoughts to their conclusion for her child.

The Noona Musings has a post about having that need to write and nothing to say.  She states: “Some times I feel like I have nothing interesting to say, but the urge to say it is still there. I try and pick out the things that run through my mind, the things I find interesting and relevant, but it never seems to come out nearly as fascinating as I imagine.”  It’s ultimately a post about feeling good about just being yourself.

Lastly, Lavender Luz has a post about listening to your gut.  It’s an idea she stumbled across while following the lawsuit between the Honest Toddler and the Honest Company.  Her post is about the difference between what you feel and feelings; being nice vs. being kind (I especially loved this distinction).  As someone who has been known to not listen to her gut at times (and then feel anxiety gastrointestinally in the aftermath), this post serves as a good reminder.

The roundup to the Roundup: I brought the Wolvog into the world of Candy Crush.  I have mad pinball skillz.  Measure of Love is on sale (and I’d love your help continuing to get word out).  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between August 2nd and 9th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.