Category — Friday Blog Roundup

So I gave up my Hay Day farm… at least, temporarily.  My virtual farm replaced Candy Crush last year as my obsession-of-choice.  I took it up to the 70th level, opened all the fishing slots, bought all the machines, all the animals, all the crops, and gathered over $3 million in virtual coins and 300 diamonds.  By all intents and purposes, I “won” this unwinnable game.

I loved playing in the morning.  I loved waking up and greeting the river boat, filling the crates with the items I made overnight.  I loved gathering my crops and replanting the seeds.  I loved to collect all the gifts from my townspeople and fill their new orders.  All in all, waking my town up in the morning took about 20 minutes out of my day, and it was a happy 20 minutes where I felt like I was setting everything right in the world.  It was like a really relaxing virtual cleaning session, with a clear end-point, and it made me feel as if I had accomplished something before I started my day.

The gaming equivalent of starting the day with a clean email inbox.

But the night was a different story.  At night, I was constantly telling Josh that we couldn’t start something because I “just had to take care of my farm.”  I would predict a task to take me 5 minutes, but it was more like 10.  I had to clean up my farm from the day and get it ready for the next day, which could take anywhere from a half hour to… an hour.  Or more.  It was eating up my life.  And unlike the beginning, I wasn’t really enjoying it anymore.

So I told Josh that I was putting my farm to sleep for a few days.  Nothing would happen unless I opened the app (and I warned the kids not to touch it), and I didn’t plan to open the app until the weekend when I would give myself a little play time and then shut it down until the next weekend or so.

It has given me a lot of time this week.

I guess I’ve been looking at my time wasters — what am I doing that doesn’t really add to my life but I do it anyway out of habit or some thought that I “should” do it, etc.  Hay Day had gone from a game into a slog.  So it was out.

I’ve kept yoga, morning coffee, reading, and blogging.  I’ve cut out Hay Day, a bunch of non-personal blogs I was reading because I felt I “should,” and snacking after dinner.

Everything feels a little neater in the moment.

What are your time wasters?  Why haven’t you dropped them?

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Thoughts on Donor Cycles” (Amateur Nester)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Mojo Working is back with a brief post about acknowledging loss after everything changes.  It’s powerful in its simplicity.  I can’t say much more than that without ruining the effect of the words, so I’m going ask you to click over and let them speak for themselves.

Two Adults, One Child has a post about blogging which I think is particularly relevant to our community where burnout is common because of the high emotional content of our blogs (both writing and reading).  I like her approach on how to make blogging something that adds to her life instead of detract.  She can sum it up with one perfect sentence: “to use this space as it was originally intended — as an outlet for me to express my thoughts and feelings.”  But you’ll need to read the whole post to get the greater context.

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ has a post that I wish were pinnable to the front of Google.  And perhaps you can help me to push it up the Google ranks by clicking over to read and spread it around yourself so Google gets the message that we want people to be able to find it.  She goes through the emotions she experienced when she resolved her infertility by living child-free after treatments.  This piece is so powerful for someone who is in the throes of it; to see that things could get better even if the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t visible.  Her honesty about the length of time she went through the emotions is helpful as well.  Not everyone will experience the same feelings, but if they are feeling these things, this post will help them feel less alone.

The roundup to the Roundup: What are your time wasters?  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 26th and January 9th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Hello, very quiet Internet. Hopefully you’re recovering from yesterday’s festivities. Or non-festivities if you don’t celebrate Christmas.  As a bookend to the last post, break down your day into the following categories: high point, low point, best gift, delicious eat.

High Point: Time to read!

Low Point: Not enough hours in the day.

Best Gift: Bought myself “Hedwig’s Theme” as my new wake-up music for my phone alarm.  I was my very own Santa.

Delicious Eat: Appetizer-only dinner for Christmas Eve.

You go now.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Somewhere Tonight There is a Woman” (Waiting for Baby Bird)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Persnickety Chickadee went to Japan for Christmas, but before she left, she gave us a lovely post about the calendar circling around again.  She reflects on what has changed and what hasn’t come to fruition yet since her last trip to Japan.  I loved the jumps backward in time.

My Path to Mommyhood makes a fair point about the way the general public talks about genes.  She writes, “If we can talk about passing genes along so casually, then we should be able to talk about NOT passing those genes on equally as casually, no?”  It’s a great post.  Click over to read it from the beginning.

Lavender Luz writes about an exchange with her daughter, and how the way she first heard the words were not the way the words were maybe meant.  She explains, “I’ve lived on this planet — I’ve thrived on this planet — for a long time.  That’s not nothing; that’s not bad sense. In fact, my goal as her mom is that she do the same.”  I love the way the words twist in this post.

Lastly, Constant in the Darkness talks about how it is different waiting on the adoption list this time around.  I love this so much: “It’s not the ‘longing for another baby’ that’s eating away at me right now …  it’s the not knowing when this is going to happen that is.  It’s not a new baby that I’m craving, it’s this part of my life, the infertility, trying for a baby, when the hell is this going to be over thing that I really want to put an end to.”  You need to read the whole post to understand.

The roundup to the Roundup: High/Low/Best/Delicious Christmas (or Non-Christmas, as was the case for me).  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 19th and 26th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

It’s Chanukkah. I’m actually really not a fan of Chanukkah in general. It’s sort of a nothing holiday that has been given inflated importance because it falls on the calendar near Christmas. There’s not a lot you do for it: light the chanukkiah, eat fried foods, maybe play a round of dreidel.  See, not that exciting.

On the other hand, it’s frustrating to have holidays that are very exciting (Purim) or very fun (Succot) or very moving (Yom Kippur) or very holy (Rosh HaShanah) or very important (Pesach) and have people have no clue what most of those holidays are or what they’re about.  You know?  The world has latched onto Chanukkah, and some Jews have gone along with that wave.  But I’m not feeling it.  It’s just not my sort of holiday.  I’m fine with candles, but I’m definitely not a fan of fried foods.  And dreidel I only enjoy when you get a top that gives good spin.

Sometimes I think I do the bare minimum with Chanukkah just because the world around me is shrieking at me to do more with it.  To make it something it’s not.

This holiday brings out my contrary side.

I promise I’ll be back to my usual sunny self by the next holiday, Tu B’shvat.  Just kidding.  I don’t like trees, either.  But I’m totally excited for Purim.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “12 Days of Christmas — IVF Version” (Amateur Nester)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Punch Drunk is back with a post lamenting that the blogosphere has changed.  And yes, it obviously has since everything changes, but on the same week that she posts this, Everyday Stranger returns with her Santa post.  A smart woman writing a smart post, and I love Santa’s point about antidepressants: “The pills only mute things, dearest. Even on mute, you are Someone.”  Two posts that drew me in.

A Half-Baked Life has a post about returning things and perfect gifts, and really, it’s about knowing yourself as much as it is about other people knowing you.  But I love this recounting of the perfect birthday gift, and how it makes her reflect on other gifts she has received over the years and her reactions to those that didn’t feel as if they fit.

The Bickerstaff Blog perfectly explains how she doesn’t spend all day thinking about her loss, but her loss affects her every day.  There are moments she feels sad and moments when she isn’t thinking about Malachi, but that loss paints the surface of her day-to-day life, the choices she makes, who she is at her core.  It’s a wonderful, brief post.

Lastly, Unpregnant Chicken has an amazing post about mourning a child who never was; a dream-child.  What it means to miss someone who was never here.  She explains: “When I miss a friend I can pinpoint the missing that I experience. I can vocalize it. People understand this missing, it’s real, tangible. I miss the coffee dates, the way they made a room light up, the soft hair on his cheeks… This missing is different. Slippery. Evasive. Unknowable.”  Go over and read the whole post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Not really a fan of Chanukkah.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 12th and 19th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

This week was Hour of Code.  I ran it again for every class in the twins’ school.  Kindergarten and first graders worked with a Lego WeDo.  The second and third grades did projects in Scratch.  And the fourth and fifth grades programmed their own interactive fiction games.  They all learned how to write their name in binary (along with learning the point of binary).

I love doing this because it means I get to see every kid in the school and I miss teaching.

One first grader informed me while I was working with his class that I am very popular, and the other kids nodded in agreement.  That made me feel good because when I was in elementary school, I was not-popular.  I wasn’t exactly unpopular, but I certainly wasn’t anything close to popular.  So, you know… I may be 30+ years late, but I’ve arrived.

As someone who works from home all day, being around people and talking for 6.5 hours every day was like a non-runner trying to complete a 5K.  It can be done, but it doesn’t look pretty.  I know I would relearn the ability to be around humans if I worked outside the house, but there would be an adjustment period I would go through to recapture my high noise threshold.

And yet, on the other hand, I felt such a deep sadness today over the idea of not going to school.  I will have to go the whole school day without seeing the twins.  Or bothering their classmates.  (I swung by their lunch table every day this week.)  I volunteer at the school at least once a week, so it’s not like it’s over, over.  But it’s weird to not be there today after being there for so many hours in a row.

*******

Thank you for all the book suggestions!  I’ve checked some out of the library, put others on hold, and put a few on a to-read list for the future.  It also made me think that I should re-read all my Jasper Fforde.  I love his books.

I met Jasper Fforde a few years ago.  I still haven’t read the congratulations book.  That event (I’m sure you can guess what I wanted it to be) hasn’t taken place.  I guess if it doesn’t by 45, I will close that door in my heart and read it.

*******

We are a few days away from the Creme de la Creme list CLOSING.

The 2014 Creme de la Creme list is open for entries until December 15th.  No one will be added after December 15th.  Read the post to see how to be a part of the Creme de la Creme, which is open to every member of the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) community.

Consider that your weekly reminder.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Perspective: Perfect Woman” (Dreaming of Diapers)
• “Thoughts from the Barren” (The Barreness)
• “‘Hope’ and ‘Not Giving Up’ in the Infertility Community” (A Few Pieces Missing From Normalcy)
• “Dear Simon” (The Unexpected Trip)
• “Adios, ‘Meant to Be’” (Infertilityhonesty)
• “Wearing Her Shoes” (Waiting for Baby Bird)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Infertile Girl in a Fertile World is marking her one year blogoversary, and she reflects on the year she has had, trying to conceive.  She takes a good, long look at herself in the mirror and notices how she has changed. “As I examined my face I concluded that I look the same (more or less), and yet different. More tired. Less youthful and naive. The excitement for life has dulled in my eyes, my mouth doesn’t smile as much as it used to. I’ve built up a wall, and perhaps that’s why I no longer recognize myself.”  Go read the whole post AND wish her a happy blogoversary.

Lavender Luz highlights a new adoption book aimed at adoptive parents.  She wrote the foreword for the book, and if the foreword is a taste of the type of helpful information you’ll find in the body of the book, it seems like a must read.  Like this brilliant point: “Anything that strikes you strongly (and dare I say that could be every single powerful chapter?) is resonating for you, either positively or negatively charged, and indicates there is something there for you to look at—within you and from your own experiences.”  Applicable to life outside of adoption, too, no?  It’s a book about how to listen, how to be open, and how to understand another person’s experience.

A+ Effort has a micropost about slowing life down.  It has the most perfect analogy for when life feels good but busy: “I see the roses, but I can’t smell them from this freight train.”  I love this post.

Lastly, Looking for a Little has a tiny post about the “are you pregnant” question that appears on many a medical intake questionnaire.  With just a few sentences, she captures the sadness of having to check no.

The roundup to the Roundup: This week was Hour of Code.  Thank you for the book recommendations.  Your friendly Creme de la Creme reminder.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 5th and 12th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

My Queen’s Greatest Hits CD died.  I got this CD before I even had a CD player.  An ex-boyfriend from college gave it to me because he knew I loved Queen.  I pointed out that I had no way to play it.  (This was back in the good old days of the Walkman.)  He told me that one day I would own a CD player (a mind-blowing thought at the time) and have a way to listen to it.  He was right about that, and this CD outlived that relationship by a good 18 years.

I love this CD.  It’s one of those things I stress-listen to.  You know how there are books that you stress-read or foods that you stress-eat?  I stress-listen to Queen.

The first few loops of the disc sounded fine this week.  And then the CD started skipping.  And now it pretty much doesn’t play.  I am so sad about this.  Luckily I had uploaded the disc to iTunes, so I can make a new copy for the car or play it off the phone.  But still.  The original disc is toast.

Goodbye Queen disc.  You’ve served me well and brought me much enjoyment.

*******

We are about 1 week away from the Creme de la Creme list CLOSING.

The 2014 Creme de la Creme list is open for entries until December 15th.  No one will be added after December 15th.  Read the post to see how to be a part of the Creme de la Creme, which is open to every member of the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) community.

Consider that your weekly reminder.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Of Mindfulness and Mourning” (Invincible Spring)
• “Support Infertility Bloggers by Shopping” (Amateur Nester)
• “Top Ten Reasons Why Gum Surgery is Easier Than Infertility” (Infertilityhonesty)
• “It’s Not Always Tea Parties and Colouring” (Waiting for Baby Bird)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Two Kids and Counting… Slowly has a post about online infertility communities, separating the outcome of trying from the need to speak with people who understand.  She writes, “I have found over the last two years that it is important to keep in contact with ladies who are still trying or who talk of how tough trying to conceive was when they were, often and without shame.  I don’t ever want to lose the community because I won’t ever forget the struggle no matter how it ends.”  It’s a great post about shared experience.

The Empress and the Fool, in the wait of her final cycle, writes about how hope makes her behave as if she gained no knowledge from the previous cycles.  The two week wait, that saucy minx, comes with the vague symptoms of early pregnancy and plenty of twinges (or not).  As she points out, what has happened has already happened even if she doesn’t know it yet: “we spend the entire second half of it speculating on an outcome that has already been definitively decided – to implant or not to implant.”  Sending lots of good thoughts for that final test.

Searching for Our Silver Lining has a thought-provoking post on how we bandy about the term “bitter.”  She explains, “There’s the classic labeling for someone who is intent on making everyone around them utterly miserable. But I’ve also learned that someone can accuse someone else of being ‘bitter’ as a way to distract from the self-loathing they may be feeling.”  “Bitter” is to infertility what “bitch” is to women: a word used to diminish another person.  Go over and read the whole post.

Mama Bean Parenting has a gorgeous post (thank you, Ellen!) about rolling the dice when she closes her eyes, never knowing if she’ll be thinking about the present that never was or the past that was.  A long time ago, she had a very different understanding of pregnancy: “Once upon a time, when childbirth was only TV shows and rose-tinted stories, this dream was mine to craft. I could look forward with an open mind and a hopeful heart about the exciting possibilities of My Turn.  Not anymore.”  Go read this very powerful post about her un-children.

Lastly, At Least I Still Have Humour realizes she can never say “guess what” again.  You’ll have to click over to read the situation (and it will be very very familiar… as anyone who has people around them waiting for news can attest), and also to congratulate her on a job well done with the competition.

The roundup to the Roundup: Goodbye Queen CD.  Your friendly Creme de la Creme reminder.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 28th and December 5th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.