The People Watching You
I underlined a passage in Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. The main character asks her mother how she made adulthood look so easy and effortless. The house was clean and orderly, the kids were cared for, and the mother worked full-time. The mother points out that what her child perceived wasn’t how the mother remembered things, but she tells her daughter her little secret:
“Whenever I was reaching my wits’ end, I would pause for a moment and do you know what I would do?” Her voice lowered to a conspiratorial register. “I would imagine I was being watched.”
I opened my eyes and frowned at the tiles on the bathroom floor. “Watched?”
“It’s lonely, you know. Housework. But it felt a bit less lonely when I pretended I had a little audience sitting on the couch with me. Watching me vacuum or take out the trash. Cheering me on!” (page 191)
We know that the daughter will become an influencer in the future, so she clearly took her mother’s advice one step further to get an actual audience cheering her on, rather than just an imaginary one. But it was a strange phrasing: Being watched. That you pull your shit together and present the best version of yourself because people will know if you don’t.
It gave me pause when I was reading.
3 comments
I can relate to that. Like scurryfunge cleaning before visitors arrive, pretending we are always in a spic and span house. Or telling people if I’m on a diet so it shames me into sticking to it. (I am NOT on a diet, even if I should be!) But I prefer the idea of an audience cheering me on. THAT feels inspiring.
I still have a quarter of that book left to read, but that interaction gave me pause as well. I do not enjoy being watched, so it was fascinating to me to hear someone suggest that as an actual strategy. We all behave differently when we are being watched versus when we aren’t, but I would never welcome it. That probably says more about me than anything that comes up in the book. I’m so curious how this is going to end.
I am so interested in this book… it keeps coming up for me. The tiny little library a half hour from me has a copy on the shelf, I should just go snag it!
I love the idea of imagining people cheering you on as you do mundane things. And Mali, “Scurryfunge cleaning” is the best phrase I’ve ever heard in my life! Oh, influencers. Definitely taking that audience thing to a whole new level. I’m interested to see how the book flips that in the premise. Are you enjoying it?
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