Watching or Saving
There was an enormous dump of good television at the end of summer — many more shows than we could watch before the twins left. It came with the understanding that there would likely be a dearth of new television due to the writer’s strike. We were about to see what was finished before the strike began.
But I feel strange watching television without the ChickieNob. She doesn’t have the time to watch it from school, and it’s an activity I associate with her. I didn’t watch television, she got me into television, and then she took her television-watching self and moved far away.
I can watch the low stuff on her list, holding on to the other shows for breaks. But it is weird to sit on the bed without her. To turn my head and not see her beside me, ready with a snarky comment or to tell me where we’ve seen an actor before.
3 comments
Each day brings something new, doesn’t it? Continuing to hold space for you as you grieve.
I am with you on that one, in a way – my child is JUST TOO BUSY to be at home ever. So, I want to watch a show, but I know she wants to watch it, but I don’t really want to wait for her to have time, etc… The other day, I started watching something and I was mostly through episode 2 when she came in and said it looked interesting. I ended up restarting it – but now I don’t know when I’ll be able to finish it. Since she didn’t grow up having to wait a week for a new episode, she has no sense of urgency about watching anything. So I’m stuck with wanting to watch stuff with someone who isn’t currently available. :/
I imagine it is strange. I’ve spent years compromising on watching things with my husband. Now we have shows we watch together, and shows we watch apart. I’ve learnt more about what I enjoy, what I want to spend time on, what I can’t be bothered with but might have watched before just to have that “together” time. Once you can face it, you have a whole world of fun things to explore.