Posts from — March 2011

We rarely go to the movies anymore, and when we do, we’re usually seeing something at the tail-end of its run.  But this weekend, it timed out that we got to see the Adjustment Bureau during its opening weekend.  And this made me inexplicably feel instantly cool.  Like everyone in the theater was somehow a little more special than all the people outside.

There is no reason for this, but admit it, you also felt a little bit ahead of the curve if you finished Harry Potter book 7 on the first day, or you found a band before they hit it big.  Even if its meaningless and it all shakes out in the end once everyone has seen the movie or read the book or found the band, even though it all comes down to the Sneetches and no one really remembers who had stars upon thars first, you still just feel a little bit superior to everyone who experiences it after you.

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Shaving my legs is literally my least favourite grooming activity.  I have to talk myself into it in the same way that I have to talk myself into exercising — which is usually by berating myself until I internally cry.  I love the way my legs look and feel afterward, but sitting there with a razor is mind-numbing.  And please don’t tell me about how you have the lightest hair in the world so you never shave your legs, or how you love the way hair looks and feels on your legs, or ask me if I’ve tried waxing or any other activity like that.  Because in my world, I want the just-the-cost-of-the-razor, clean-shaven legs.  I just don’t want to do the work.

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If I can’t talk on the phone when it rings — for instance, someone is over or I’m in the middle of an activity — I let the answering machine pick up.  I was asked this week why I don’t just pick up the phone and tell the person that I can’t talk.  But I don’t really see the point.  I mean, isn’t it ruder for me to pick up the phone and have the person hear that I took the time to answer the phone to tell them that I can’t talk?  Isn’t it better to have them leave a message and once the food is in the oven, pick up the phone and call them back?  Do other people answer the phone to tell the person that they can’t talk?  The one exception is when I want the person to know when I’m calling them back (for instance, I’ll pick up the phone and say, “I can’t talk right now but I’m calling you back in 5 minutes.”)  If I have no clue when I’ll be done, I let it go to the answering machine.

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I completely stunt myself serving-size-wise by the space inside my ice cream cup (I only eat ice cream out of tea cups or coffee mugs).  It’s an unnatural construct based on nothing, but even if I am dying for more ice cream when I get to the bottom of the cup, I cannot bring myself to refill it.  The serving size becomes whatever can fit in the mug.  This makes me seek out large coffee mugs.

Are these just me?  You too?

What do you wonder from your own life?

So I have to say thank you for something.  Usually, when I want to say thank you for something, I bake.

But that instinct isn’t going to work here because there are too many people to thank.  There simply isn’t enough butter in the world for that many batches of chocolate chip cookies.  And beyond that, there are too many people that I suspect are out there but. I. don’t. even. know. who. you. are.  That’s the part that scares me — missing out on thanking all of the amazing women that I can’t thank because I’m truly clueless as to how many people are behind this wave.  Also, there is the problem of actually getting said cookies to you.  That whole computer screen barrier.

Life from Scratch has become this huge success and it is entirely due to bloggers.  Namely, book bloggers who took it under their wing and celebrated it with posts and reviews on Good Reads or Amazon, as well as other-topic bloggers (for lack of a better term because it wasn’t just book bloggers) who knew me through this space who read it and talked about it and arranged online book tours and participated with posts.  I am talking about all of YOU.  And I’m talking about THEM.

And yes, I am going to get very emotional about this and you can’t stop me, because that is enormous.

It speaks to the power of bloggers in general.  I didn’t get in the New York Times book review.  I didn’t do the morning talk show circuit.  I connected with bloggers and you guys reviewed it.  And because of that, it moved into the 7th slot on Kindle’s content list.  Right under books that have a huge publicity budget behind them such as Hillenbrand’s book (of Seabiscuit fame).

The words “thank you” are too small.  Even if you scream them at top volume, it isn’t enough.  Frankly, baking cookies for all of you wouldn’t be enough.  But I don’t know how to gather all of you into one space so I can hold this huge parade with dancing acrobats and flame-eaters and elephants in order to show you how ecstatic I am that you are in my life; that you took my book and ran with it and made this happen.

When you see the bloggers in the sequel, when I am celebrating book bloggers and other-topic bloggers in the second book, you will all know that I am talking about you.  It’s not a strange coincidence or a discussion of random bloggers in general — I will actually be talking about all of you.  The people who took the time to review it and blog about it and tweet about it and all of you who will do so in the future.

Because you changed my life.

And I’m going to beg you to keep doing it.  To keep talking about it and recommending it to your friends and leaving a review on Amazon or Good Reads (people who write kind reviews are my favourite people in the world) and tweeting about it (my G-d, I love all of you who have tweeted about it).  Because I’m greedy like that.

The Internet has been my support for almost five years now.  And I owe you guys so much — my sanity, my health, and all of my thanks.

Thank you.

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Okay, I’m going to take a pause to have a good, old-fashioned, hormonal cry.

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Instead of the Weekly What If: name one person who changed the trajectory of your life.

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Voting has started at Limerick Chicks and yes, I have a limerick in the running.  BUT I’m not going to ask you to vote for me.  I’m just going to ask you to vote — to go over and read them and laugh (or cry) and then vote for your favourite one (which may or may not be mine).

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And now, the blogs…

If you have not yet read the analogy The Shifty Shadow wrote about loss, you need to run over there.  Because it’s just that brilliant.

Stumbling Gracefully has a post about her greatest fear.  She explains how even skating close to her fear brings out a reaction: “If the losses of strangers do this to me, what kind of havoc would the loss of someone close to me wreak?”  It is a raw, deeply honest, sometimes difficult to read post.  But that’s why you should read it anyways.

Just Us and the Cat has a post about new forms of employment she can now get that she’s tubeless.  It’s dark humour at it’s finest.  Personally, I’m rooting for her to join a harem.  As she points out: “Advantages: I’ve always liked Turkish food. Disadvantages: Would probably need to lose weight before applying. A more serious barrier is that the Ottoman empire is defunct.”

My Rotten Eggs has this really incredible post about the ending of a friendship with her cousin’s wife as well as bumping into her at a store.  The de-friending wasn’t about infertility and yet was wholly connected to infertility and their two different paths in life.  It’s a moving post.

One Wheeler’s World has a post about getting to know herself again through her blog.  I love her blog-each-day challenge to explore herself.  She writes, “An opportunity to just throw myself out there…messy hair, unshaven legs, and all.    An opportunity for ME to get to know me in ways that I’ve honestly been putting off for a long, long time. ”  Come by for the free therapy.

Lastly, Bloodsigns has a post about whether she needs her space.  I love this point: “Social media is just that — social — and success does depend on one’s ability to be social (or, if we were talking about a business context — self-promotion and networking) — which isn’t, despite your kindness Dear Readers, something I’m good at.”  It is such a gorgeous post, such an important post, such a brilliant post — I think you’ll be missing out if you don’t read it.

The roundup to the Roundup: I am weepy grateful for all of you and there is nothing large enough that I could do to properly thank you.  Answer the Instead of the Weekly What If.  Vote for your favourite limerick.  And lots of great posts to read.

Back when I taught at the university level, my students were often older than I was.  Sometimes it was only a year or two difference, and that was sort of awkward.  One of my students was in a punk band, and I would sometimes go to this club to hear him play.  And then I’d have to go home and grade his papers.  Some of my students were much older; one woman who stands out in my head is this woman who was in her 40’s and had returned to school to get her college degree.  She stayed after one day to talk to me about how strange she felt about me being her teacher.  On one hand, she could clearly see that I had more degrees and had information to impart.  But on the other, I hadn’t even been born when she was already married and having kids.  So … there was that.

I thought it was a little silly how internally distraught she seemed during this talk.  We had a low-stakes relationship — I was just her teacher.  We didn’t even see each other after the semester ended.  It wasn’t as if we were dating and constantly having to navigate melding two different stages of life.

Oh, and then I got a guitar teacher who is 9 years younger than I am and noooooooooooooooooow I get it.

On one hand, I still believe that age ain’t nothing but a number.  He has the information, I need the information, and I am paying him to give me the information.  It doesn’t matter if he’s older or younger than me; all I need him to do is teach me guitar.

And yes, I am incredibly conscious of the fact that I have grey streaks in my hair.  And my boob is resting on top of my guitar.  And did I mention the fact that I have poor bladder control when I sneeze?  And while this guy isn’t exactly a teenager, he’s all young and hopeful.

Maybe it is the hopeful part that I’m envying.  He’s still in that place where you look at how you want your life to unfold … AND YOU EXPECT THAT IT WILL HAPPEN CLOSE TO THAT.  Do you remember that place?  When I talk to him or the other people who work at the school, they talk about their future as if it will happen.  While they may privately have doubts that their rock band is going to strike it big, they project confidence that also shows the opposite: that they think there is every possibility in the world that their rock band will strike it big.

If you had asked me when I was their age about my future, I would have told you that kids were a given.  That when we felt ready, we’d just have a little sex and pop them out — 1, 2, and 3.  I would have told you that I’d publish books in the same way.  I’d just write them, send them off to my agent and — 1, 2, 3, and so on — they’d pop onto the shelves at the bookstore (if you had asked me back when I was their age, Kindles were unfathomable.  A book without paper?  Preposterous!).

And now, when I talk about my future, I sort of shrug at it and preface everything with an “I hope.”  I don’t take anything as a given anymore, and that’s a much scarier place to stand than where I was when I was my teacher’s age.  That ground felt stable.  This ground feel slippery.  I used to believe that where I was standing was solid; now I know from my own life or observing my friend’s lives that the ground can give out at any second.

That it’s all quicksand posing as concrete.

I recently had to buy new shoes, and I decided on a pair of 10-hole, steel-toed Docs.  I’ve worn Docs since high school and I’m partial to the steel-toed ones because (1) I once jokingly kicked someone and broke skin with them so they make me feel like they’re a good self-defense item and (2) they keep their shape vs. the non-steel ones that sort of start sagging over time.  I’ve always owned the 3-hole version.  I coveted boots while in college but didn’t think I could pull them off.  I felt like you had to have a certain attitude to pull off Doc boots, and I lacked that attitude.

It felt a little bit like guitar — a now or never proposition — and it was silly not to check them off my list; such a small thing.  When they arrived, I put them on and stomped around the house, and Josh joked that this was part of my mid-life crisis.  Later that night, I started bawling because I felt like I was trying to reclaim something with the shoes; go back in time, pretend I’m still in college, be that believing person again.  That I was trapped inside a Leonard Cohen song and “everybody knows” and it just looks like the equivalent of a comb-over.  My comb-over shoes.

I wouldn’t want to go back in time either.  I wouldn’t want to have to fight through everything again to get where I am today.  I bring the twins to my guitar lessons and they sit on the floor and watch.  I have two books out, so that part came true too.  I’m sure this just confirms what people my teacher’s age suspects — that you can have it all.  They see me with my twins and my books and it’s proof that this future can come true.  Isn’t that why we also find comfort in reading about people’s pregnancies or adoptions as much as it also pains us?  It’s proof that it does happen; and if it happened for them, it could happen for us. (Because, if you truly believed that it couldn’t happen at all, it would make more sense to stop trying to conceive or adopt, right?)

The thing is, back when I was my teacher’s age, it didn’t even occur to me that there could be a story in there.  I saw a mother out with her kids and I took it on face-value.  That she wanted kids, she had sex, she popped them out, end of story.  It didn’t even occur to me that while that may be true for some people, for other people, there is a story that you can’t tell from clues on the outside at all.

You see someone with a limb missing and you know there is a story somewhere there.  You see a woman without a child and you have no idea that there’s a plotline buried underneath the scene unfolding.

So, not really about learning guitar, which is both frustrating and fun.  But it’s the background story that is going on in my head as I learn chords.

I’m aware that those of you who are older than me are probably laughing at my age crisis, knowing full well what stage comes next.  But the thing is, just like my guitar teacher still believes he’s standing on solid ground, I can’t fathom what happens next.  Maybe you return to a place of believing again.  Maybe you discover how to turn that quicksand into concrete.  I don’t really want to know what happens next.  I just wish I also didn’t remember how I felt before.

How do you feel about aging?  Is age nothing but a number?  Do you ever feel self-conscious when you’re around younger people?  Are you glad you’re older and not as trusting of the future?  Do you wish you could go back to being that believing person again?

Welcome back to IComLeavWe. It stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn’t it sounds like “I come; [but] leave [as a] we”? And that’s sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation and comments should be honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug–a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations.

Here is the vital information, pure and simple (a more detailed set of rules follows below the list):

• The list opens the 1st of every month. It remains open until the 21st. You can add yourself at any point. The list is open to everyone in the blogosphere–blog writers and/or blog readers.
• Add yourself to the list by filling out this form: The list for March is now closed.  The April list will open on 3/31/11.
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• Commenting kicks off every month on the 21st. Please mark it somewhere (calendar, post-it note taped to your computer…), though I will be sending out an email reminder on the 20th. Commenting week runs from the 21st to the 28th. Every day, leave 5 comments and return 1 comment for a total of 6 comments. You are highly encouraged to choose the blogs you comment on from the participants list below, but this is not required.
• I will send a second email on the 28th to remind you to remove the icon from your blog.
• Read below if you want to find out about Iron Commenters.
• The commenting ends on the 28th. We catch our breath and the whole thing starts again the next month on the 1st. Drop in and out according to what is happening in your life between the 21st and the 28th.

1. Stirrup Queens (twins, books, writing)
2. Yolk: A blog about eggs and sperm (infertility, ttc, humour)
3. The Stork Drop Zone (humor, infertility, treatments)
4. Diary of taking small steps toward baby steps (FET, PCOS, IVF)
5. Planet Hausfrau (crafts, cookery, kids)
6. HimPlusMe (pcos, ttc #1, weight loss)
7. The Pursuit of Pregnancy (new dx clotting, RPL, IUI)
8. The 2 Week Wait (ttc, infertility, humor)
9. Bio Girl (family, infertility, FET for baby #2)
10. Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings (parenting after losses, cooking, books)
11. Hope Springs Infertile (de ivf, parenting, life)
12. Twinside Out (twins, parenting, faith)
13. Infertility: A Diary (thoughts, emotions, decisions)
14. Creating a Family (infertility, adoption, adoptive parenting)
15. Feeling Beachie (life, humor, family)
16. ReeWrite (pregnancy, mommyhood, animals)
17. Ambivalent Womb (loss, weighing options)
18. If By Yes (baby, books, mental health)
19. Find Joy Now (parenting, adoption, life)
20. Wistfulgirl’s World (ttc, weight loss, life)
21. One Wheeler’s World (life, love, parenting after if)
22. Someday (MFI, IVF, OMG)
23. Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed (infertility, advocacy, hope)
24. Just Us and the Cat (recovery from 2nd ectopic, ivf, life post-tubes)
25. Holly’s Narrative Dream (infertility, family, life)
26. Baby Steps to Motherhood (IVF, infertility, male factor)
27. Write Mind Open Heart (open adoption, mindfulness, perfect moments)
28. A Half Baked Life (parenting after loss, food)
29. It Is What It Is (Or Is It?) (domestic adoption, post infertility, life)
30. A little blog about the big infertility (adoption, overcoming loss, hope)
31. Songs for my Unborn Children (miscarriage, poetry, life)
32. Invisible Mother (recurrent miscarriage, emotions)
33. Mission: Fertile Soul (fertility, joy, humor)
34. A Peek into our Journey (PCOS, waiting, IUI)
35. The misadventures of missohkay (pregnancy loss, adoption)
36. Dragondreamer’s Lair (parenting, secondary infertility, crafts)
37. Eggs In a Basketcase (newly pregnant, FET)
38. Team Baby (infertility, iui, ivf)
39. Life in the Last Frontier (open adoption, infertility, parenting)
40. Uncommon Nonsense (infertility, IVF, PCOS)
41. all i ever wished for (i.f., upcoming f.e.t., life)
42. I’m Very Far Away (infertility, IVF, expat)
43. Grafting a Branch on the Family Tree (intended parent/traditional surrogacy, weight loss)
44. Elusive Take Home Baby (recurrent miscarriage, infertility, frustrations)
45. The Handprints on my Heart (adoption, family)
46. A Field of Dreams (parenting, weightloss, humour)
47. The Port of Indecision (RPL, DOR/POF, smartass)
48. Diary of a Mad Infertile Woman (new to infertility, gonadotropin injections, anovulatory)
49. Buzz Off Infertility (pregnancy loss, TTC, pregnant w. #2)
50. We got hitched. We bought the 4 bedroom house. We had twins. Now what?!? (parenting, twins, life)
51. Chasing Our Stork: Our Journey with Infertility (unexplained, ivf, faith)
52. Lifeslurper (IVF after 40, donor eggs, depression)
53. Colours Of Cattiz (male factor, ivf, uk)
54. Our New Plan A (natural-ivf, gluten-free, dor)
55. Our Fertility Journey (miscarriage, mind-body connection, hypothalamic amenorrhea)
56. Bodega Bliss (miscarriage, loss, grief)
57. Seeking Shirley (infertility, IUI, miscarriage)
58. for all the things we hope for (infertility, miscarriage, nursing school)
59. We’re Making a Baby… (twins, IVF, infertility)
60. Shorty’s Adventure (pregnancy after IF)
61. Three Cats and a Baby (infertility, adoption, green parenting)
62. Leading Mama (motherhood, psychology, leadership)
63. As Fast As My Baby Can (infertility, ivf, unexplained)
64. Compromised Fertility (PCOS, miscarriage, infertility)
65. A Year On…. Our New Beginning (hopefully) (stillbirth infertility IVF)
66. Mommy Odyssey (miscarriage, healing, humor)
67. Therapy Is Expensive (open adoption, life, relationships)
68. As Good As It Gets (parenting after infertility)
69. The Bushey Life (high risk pregnancy)
70. The Ladies in Waiting Book Club (infertility, books, crafts, writers)
71. Life as I Know It (emotional, motherhood, decisions)
72. Mommy In Waiting (IV#4, hope, mfi)
73. Just Us…For Now (infertility, miscarriage, IVF)
74. Garden Variety Mama (cooking, health, toddler twins)
75. My Voice (life, family, humor)
76. Surviving the Secondary Infertility Madness (PCOS, loss, pregnancy)
77. Failed Genetics (infertility, adoption, family)
78. Musings of a Hormonal Egg Basket (baby after infertility)
79. Random Thoughts From Angie (FET, life, family)
80. Removing Roadblocks (adoption, infertility, faith)
81. The Road Less Traveled (pregnancy after loss, embryo donation)
82. wanna bee (foster/adoption, craftiness, loss)
83. Sluice (california, white ceramic animals, home decor)
84. The Unbroken World (family, fertility, future)
85. Frogs In Texas (baby milestones family)
86. The Infertility Therapist (psychological aspects infertility)
87. Transplanted Thoughts (grief, baby loss, life)
88. Everyday Blessings (infertility, life, motherhood)
89. From IF to When (infertility, adoption, health)
90. In a Nutshell (azoospermia, ivf, immature eggs)
91. Bakery Closed Until Further Notice (miscarriage, relationships, non-ttc)
92. Unglamorous (marriage, toddler, finances)
93. Our Life Journey (infertility, pregnancy loss, faith)
94. Storm in My Teacup (FET#2, greyhound VW bus)
95. Stumbling Gracefully (parenting, photography, waxing philosophical)
96. Babies, Balanced Translocations, and Being in My 30’s (IVF/PGD, balanced translocation, RPL)
97. I’m Just Ducky, Thanks (ivf, medical issues, adoption)
98. Zero Guarantees (IVF, surrogate, life)
99. Jen Has A Pen (infertility, writing, marriage)
100. Survive and Thrive (infertility, EFT, fertility telesummit)
101. Infertility And Me (azoospermia, MFI, father)
102. MissConception (pcos, IUI, ttc #1)
103. Almost All The Truth (green, parenting, change)
104. I Believe In Miracles (parenting, infertility, adoption)
105. Creating Our Miracle (IVF # 2, TTC # 1, MFI)
106. Wishing and Hoping and Thinking and Praying (infertility,life, teaching)
107. MissConception (pcos, IUI, ttc#1)
108. It’s Definitely Possible (SMC, IUI, 2WW)
109. I Want to be a Daddy (male infertility experience)
110. One Day At A Time (infertility, hypothyroidism, weight loss)
111. Life Without Baby (childless-not-by-choice, coming to terms, infertility)
112. Your Great Life (fertility health advocate, emotional support, family-building)
113. On Tap for Today (life, humor, Boston)
114. Whitney & Erick (recurrent loss, immune, IVF)
115. Waiting For Our Miracle (pregnancy, IVF, infertility)
116. Mac and PC (IVF#1, anovulatory, health)
117. Amiracle4us (infertility, IVF, hope)
118. The Daily Miracle (secondary if, ivf, life humour)
119. Digital-Damita (ttc, frugal, green)
120. Love In the Bump Dump (infertility, humor, marriage)
121. And Then There Were Two… (infertility, miscarriage, ttc #1)
122. Lissie’s Luck (infertility, PCOS, frustration)
123. Our Little Family’s Journey (family, ttc#2, FET?)
124. NOT so Fertile Mertile (endometriosis, domestic adoption)
125. Everything After (parenting, marriage, TTC)
126. A Virtual Hobby Store and Coffee Shop (food, news, prayer)
127. Junebugs Musings (if, adoption, life)
128. The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own (pregnancy, infertility, life)
129. Trying Not to Scream (infertility, IUI, miscarriage)
130. To Those Who Wait (early pregnancy #1, triplets from IUI)
131. The Chronicles of Violetta Margarita (unexplained infertility, life, humor)
132. Too Many Fish to Fry (miscarriage, parenting, joy)
133. Adventures of a Dam Engineer (adoption, infertility)
134. Trying to conceive (ivf, icsi, support)
135. Waiting for that Positive (infertility, male factor, being positive)
136. Fearlessly Infertile (FET #2, weight loss, Ireland!)
137. Wonderfully Ordinary (parenting, infertility, life)
138. Pontifications of a Twin Mom (twins, parenting, celebrating life)
139. Going For It (domestic infant adoption)
140. The “G” Fam (baby j, sahm, ivf #2 (?))
141. Oven Seeking Bun (pcos, ivf#1, yoga)
142. My Broken Oven (miscarriage, anxiety, pregnancy)
143. Watering Faith’s Seed (infertility, faith, marriage)
144. Somewhere In The Middle (infertility, adoption, waiting)
145. Busted Plumbing (humor, PCOS, awesomeness)
146. This non-American Life (travel, expat life, Germany)
147. Flogging the Muse (art, painting, creativity)
148. Greetings from Nowhere, NM (infertility, hypothyroidism, rural living)
149. The Deep Silence of a Long-Suffering Heart (MFI, IVF, secondary infertility)
150. My Hopeful Journey (IF APP, advocate, support)
151. My Cheap Version of Therapy (iui#1, pcos, weightloss)
152. Heeeeere Storkey, Storkey! (twins, life, pregnancy)
153. Tippy & Tidy (TTC#1, IVF, unexplained)
154. Weathering the Storm (2ww, life, adoption)
155. Baby Magnesi (infertility, MFI, TTC)
156. Inconceivable! (TTC #1, IVF)
157. IFSerenityNow (ivf, fet, loss)
158. Confessions of a wannabe mom (trouble making babies)
159. Hope Springs Eternal (ivf, life, infertility)
160. Hope is a Four Letter Word (annovulatory, first ivf)
161. Sparkles and Fairy Tales: Waiting on my Fertile Godmother (infertility, pregnancy, marriage)
162. The Childless Mom (male & female infertility, humor, ICSI)
163. Trying To Get a Bun In My Oven (optimistic, sweet, tough)
164. My Dusty Uterus (humorously stubborn eggs)
165. Baby Talk (infertility, hope, treatments)
166. The Unfair Struggle (mfi, speedskating, life)
167. Gingersnap Alley (kids, play, how-to)
168. Getting There (adoption, settling in, life)
169. Traditionally Nontraditional (infertility, hope, wishes)
170. Cheese Curds and Kimchi (adoption, family, preparations)
171. Just Us Two (IVF, infertility, anxiety)
172. The Infertility Overachievers (pregnant after IVF)
173. A Nuttier Life (TTC, hope, awesomeness)
174. My Hormonacoaster (ivf, ttc#2 10 years, loss)
175. My Blog Is Boring (life, love, happy)
176. *Our Wish* (ttc family miscarriages)
177. IUI to Roux-en-Y (appointments, goals, weight-loss)
178. The Diary of My Fertility Roller Coaster (infertility, pcos, hope)
179. The Inadequate Conception (infertility, humor, new book)
180. The Climb (twins, parenting, infertility)
181. The list for March is now closed.  The April list will open on 3/31/11.

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A: Catch up the next day by doubling your comments–12 comments instead of 6.

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A: Not for the faint-of-heart. People who wish to be an Iron Commenter and be entered on the Iron Commenter honour roll need to leave a comment on every blog on the participants list (exceptions are blogs that require you to have a special log-in, such as some LiveJournal accounts or other similar situations). You can spread out this commenting any way you wish over the whole week, but the final comment needs to be left by midnight on the 28th (EST). Reaching Iron Commenter status is done on an honour system. Please email me if you earn Iron Commenter status so I can add you to the wall of honour.

Q: Why do I have to add that bit of code to my sidebar?

A: The code is the latest icon (the icon changes colour every month so you know that you’re on the right list). This month, the icon is green, the next month it will be teal, etc. The reason is two-fold: (1) it enables more people to find out about IComLeavWe and (2) it gives you easy access to the current list once the commenting week actually begins and better ensures that you’ll use it. Too many times, people sign up and forget to actually do IComLeavWe and this icon gives you a daily reminder (with the dates on it) every time you open your own blog. The icon is linked back to the current list. On the 28th, remove the icon from your blog. A new one will be created for the next month.

Q: It’s the 23rd and I just saw this for the first time on my friend’s blog! I want to join the list–why can’t I?

A: Because IComLeavWe happens every month, once the list is closed, it’s closed. If you’re finding out about this on the 23rd, you can’t join the current month. But leave yourself a note to check back in a week on the 1st and you can sign up for the next month.

Q: You said the list closes on the 21st. Well, it’s still the 21st where I am. Why aren’t you moving my information onto the list?

A: All dates and times are U.S. Eastern Standard Time (UTC/GMT -5 hours). The list closes around 11 p.m. EST on the 21st.

Q: What if no one comments on my blog and I have no comments to return?

A: Well, that really doesn’t happen for the most part, but in that case, simply choose another blog and add an additional comment. The goal is to hit 6 comments daily as a minimum. Going over that is fantastic and encouraged.

Q: Mel, my question wasn’t covered at all. What do I do?

A: Email me; I’m quite friendly. It helps to place “IComLeavWe” in the subject line. You could also check this post which contains the history of IComLeavWe and see if you can glean anything there.

Looking for the comment section? It has been closed on this post. Use the form in the directions to add yourself to the list.

The Life from Scratch Book Tour kicks off today at 9 am EST.  Go over to Write Mind Open Heart to see the master list on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.  Haven’t read it yet?  Are you crazy?  Then go download it to your computer (no excuses — you don’t need an actual Kindle to read the e-book version), stop working for the rest of the day, read the book, and jump into the conversation.  See, I can solve all sorts of problems.

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I found Blackbird Pie this weekend, and I love it.  I don’t even like Twitter, but I love the app.  If I spent more time on Twitter, I would add a Tweet each week to the Friday Blog Roundup.  I am trying to figure out how to use Blackbird Pie more while not using Twitter more.  Perhaps I can’t solve all sorts of problems.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/stirrupqueen/status/42404277280448512″]

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This was pretty much the most accurate description of how it feels right after you finish a manuscript and turn it in.  Replace blueberry blintzes with clementines and you have how I was after Life from Scratch.  And replace macaroons with crying-a-fuckload and you have post-Navigating the Land of If.  I am finishing a manuscript in the next day or so.  Let’s see what happens to the nervous system this time…

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The March IComLeavWe list opens today around 9ish too.