Posts from — August 2010

Kicking off my pre-travel day to BlogHer with a post about unplugging. Which is sort of strange because I am not only shlepping a laptop, camera, and Flip video with me so I can document my experience at the conference, but I am bringing a USB modem so I can have Internet every second of the day.

Sometimes when I travel, I bring my own coffee and that seems to be a tip-off that there is an addiction.  The inability to trust that coffee will be obtainable at the travel location, the need for the caffeine level that comes from my beans.  And bringing a USB modem reveals that Internet addiction.  There will be WiFi at the hotel.  And yet I still bring my own Internet access with me.  Addiction.

Which is why I was drawn to Gwen Bell’s July experiment.  She partially unplugged for the month; only partially because her work is online and this wasn’t a desire to leave work behind, but instead, to find that balance between the online world and the offline world.  So she shut off Twitter, she set limits to checking email, she stopped writing blog posts.

The link will take you to her first dispatch after the end of her digital sabbatical.  It’s a fascinating read.  She starts out writing Tweets on paper so she can still feel that documentation high, and she ends with seeing the beauty of life slowed down and the pressure of immediacy removed.  Which I assume is a lot like a self-hosted blog vs. a free Blogger blog.  They may not look all that different to the outsider or reader, but for the blog owner, it is a completely different process and emotion.

It is a very interesting read.

I would think the largest benefit that can come from filtering out all the noise of the Internet is creating a space where you can find your own comfort zone. I say this as someone who has only unplugged for about a week at a time.  Which isn’t really long enough to learn the lessons Gwen did during her digital sabbatical, but I’m also probably not online as often as Gwen.

There is so much we do because we think we should: emails we send, Tweets we make, sites we join, conferences we attend (hey!)…and sort of most important–stuff we write that we post without knowing how comfortable we are with sending it out there.  I don’t have a lot of regrets, but I do have some.  There have been times that people have trespassed into my comfort zone simply because either I didn’t state the boundaries clearly or I didn’t even know them myself.

I have always been fairly circumspect online and try not to post things I think will bite me in the ass later.  I try not to hurt people’s feelings online; sometimes I’m successful with that and sometimes I’m not, and sometimes, I frankly can’t own the hurt feelings because I will never be able to please everyone else while remaining true to myself and my own thoughts.  There are things that are true now, which I may reconsider in the future and don’t want this Google-able opinion documented for years to come.

But even knowing these things–feeling grounded in these beliefs–it is too easy to ignore what you know you should do for what you think you should do.  Because one part of that addiction is that the pressure is so great.  It’s not even a true pressure of dealers offering you a free taste so you’ll buy the whole bag; it’s a self-created pressure that we believe with our whole heart even if we know that it’s not based in rational facts.  After all, as much as we may be jealous about Twitter relationships we perceive between people or how much traffic we think another blog has, we rarely know the full picture.  Our pressure is based in assumptions.

Raise your hand if you signed up with Twitter or Facebook because you were interested in Twitter or Facebook.

Now raise your hand if you signed up for Twitter or Facebook because you saw that a lot of other people were on there who you admired and you didn’t want to get left behind.  Or you signed up because you heard it was a great way to promote your blog posts and you’re frustrated by the lack of traffic it has brought.  Or you signed up and hate it because you can see that thousands of people are following so-and-so, and 10 are following you and YOU ARE 20 TIMES MORE AMUSING THAN SO-AND-SO, but you also can’t leave Twitter because 10 followers are better than the “no followers” you would have if you closed your account.

Do you see what I mean about Internet addiction?  I liked Gwen’s first update and look forward to reading the rest because as she says, doing the experiment sort of only matters if you take lessons learned and keep using them.  I’m dragging her thoughts as well as my own into the conference, and trying to spend a lot of time thinking and listening as I meet up with old friends and new.

Where would you rate your Internet addiction and how much does it inform your choices on how you spend your time on the Web (as well as what feelings–jealousy, anger, sadness, love, gratitude–remain with you after you’ve logged off)?

I did this last year, and since there will be many more ALI bloggers at this conference and in New York, I thought I’d write up a new version since, you know, people change.  So if you meet me in New York this week/weekend…

I am nervous too. I know, it’s sort of crazy to admit that because I have (1) been to three BlogHer conferences by now and (2) know about fifty people or so who are going semi-well, and (3) talk to a lot of you via email. But I am pretty shy in large crowds or small.

I am shorter than you think. Even people who have seen me in pictures next to other people always seem a little surprised by my height.

Though I photoshop it out before posting pictures of me on my blog, I have an eye patch and a parrot surgically implanted onto my shoulder (actually, his feet are implanted into my shoulder and the rest of his body hovers slightly above me). It’s my right shoulder, which is why I lean heavily to the left.

When I am nervous, I write things like that because I can’t think of another way to describe myself.

And then I keep them on the list the next year running even though it wasn’t really funny the first time around.

I will try to hug you. I may even try to kiss you. I will most likely cry. If any of these things make you uncomfortable and you still want to talk to me, you may want to approach me with hands raised. This is a good indicator to me that you do not like to be hugged, smooched, or cried upon.

I have no clue what I’m wearing, but it probably won’t be remarkable.  Other people are writing about their shoes and clothes and accessories, and while I would love to have some sort of style, I tend to lean more towards boring, comfortable outfits.  So I probably won’t impress you with my unremarkable wardrobe and lack of make-up.  But hopefully, my personality will be a large enough accessory.

I am going to a few of the parties this year.  In the past, I’ve sort of avoided the parties, but this year, I am going to them at least for a short period of time.  I am also not grabbing the same amount of swag I grabbed last year.  There is a lot of swag to be found, but we’re sort of in a mental space where we’re reducing rather than adding.  Unless it’s an iPad.  Ooooh, I want an iPad so badly.

BlogHer is massively overwhelming — it’s a lot of people and a lot of sound and a lot of things to remember and a lot of information.  I love meeting people there, but more so, I love keeping in touch afterward. So please give me your card. Or follow me on Twitter. Or let me know that you subscribed to the blog’s rss feed so I can return the favour.  If we already know each other, this obviously doesn’t apply to you because I will already be hugging and kissing you.  But I love meeting new people and then going through the cards when I get home and adding new blogs to my Reader.

I don’t use the kid’s names. I call them the ChickieNob and Wolvog at BlogHer too. I will miss them a lot and will probably cry if you ask me about them.  Which is not to say that you can’t ask me about them, but it’s just an explanation for why snot will be dripping out of my nose a few minutes later.

The easiest way to reach me during the conference is email.  I tend not to hear my phone when I’m at home in our quiet house, so it’s even less likely that I’ll hear it during the conference.  I also do not have text messaging on my phone.  But I generally have the computer open the whole time so I can get emails quickly.

You will probably quickly understand when you see me at the conference that the way I get so much done during the day is coffee, coffee, and coffee.

Um…those are probably the main things you need to know.  Anything else you’d like to know that I haven’t covered?  If you have done one of these posts because you’ll be at the conference or NY, please leave a link to it in the comment section below so I can read yours too.

Oh…and this is me:

And don’t forget (and yes, I am posting this daily): Friday is the 200th/300th Friday Blog Roundup cake extravaganza.  On Friday, upload a picture of a piece of cake (and don’t get hung up on the words “a piece of cake” — if you want to bake a whole cake or celebrate with an oreo or simply walk by the bakery and take a picture and not put anything in your piehole, it’s all good) and then link to your blog post using the linky function that will be in the Friday Blog Roundup.  It would be lovely if you wrote something about what community means to you.  Why you love being part of the ALI community, and how you feel when you read a particularly satisfying blog post.

Photo credit: Mary Gardella at Love Life Images.

The one thing the Fords do very well — I would even say, exceptionally well — is travel.  We are a traveling machine, able to visit places we’ve never been to efficiently, diverging easily from our daily schedule, and generally sucking the marrow out of every experience. Our specialty is beaches — we have all beaches down to a science — but we are equally impressive with amusement parks.

Whereas other families get bogged down in the noise and crowds of the amusement park, get stuck with that deer-in-headlights sensation surveying the enormity of choices, have kids fall apart because they are being fueled by cotton candy and ice cream, the Fords sail through the park with a strategy for attacking rides and meals.  We get there when the park opens and we stay until the last ride shuts down and along the way, we take that park for everything its worth while spending very little money or parts of ourselves in the process.  We call this process “Jiffy Lubing” and refer to ourselves as the well-oiled machine.  We can withstand high temperatures and lack of sleep and poor food choices all in the name of chasing fun.  And by G-d, my family catches Fun and throttles her in a big bear hug.

But somehow, our figurative roller coaster went off the tracks this summer.

Disney was perfect — Disney, with its high humidity and above 100 degree temperatures was fine.  The kids rolled with midnight bedtimes in order to see the parades and stood in long lines for short rides with patience usually unseen in five-year-olds.  When we came home from Disney, life somewhat imploded and the kids rolled with that too, helping me keep this insane pace of work and swim lessons and packing.  Our reward was going to be a small amusement park in Pennsylvania; an old-school, Amish-themed, please-dress-modestly, amusement park.

We’ve been before and the kids love it, so this should have been a cake-walk.  Our first day went well, and I even conquered my fear of the Sky Ride with the help of the Wolvog, who stroked my arm and whispered how proud he was of me while I pretended I was anywhere but over the park (he also told me he would buy me an iPad as a bravery prize, which I am totally holding him to).  But the second day can only be described as a goat rodeo, the sort of day that required several family meetings and had me calling Lori outside the park in tears.  Instead of sucking the marrow out of the park, the park sucked the marrow out of us.

That night, I had a dream that Kymberli and I rented a house on the beach, a single-room glass-walled house a few meters from the ocean.  In my dream, I was pointing out why I wanted to keep visiting this house for the rest of my life.  It was beautiful, the location was perfect, it came with blogging friends.

I think this summer has kicked the collective Ford ass, and the tantrums at the amusement park were simply the embodiment of all the stress we’ve been under as well as looking forward to stress-to-come.  I think we have all lost our Mojo — that necessary energy that turns us into travel machines or leaping blogging buildings in a single bound.  I know I have felt wilted as I crawl towards BlogHer, this event I look forward to all year.  And the kids certainly showed how wilted they are at the amusement park.

I may not have shown it by slowing down on posts, but I have certainly not felt my usual energy.  I have felt quiet, discombobulated, isolated all summer.  I have not felt a part of things.  I’ve felt like I’m here and not here at the same time.  I think the dream was about BlogHer, about finding my friends within perfect surroundings and recharging.  I always associate the beach with letting go and plugging back into necessary energy — perhaps I was a mermaid in a past life.  And while it’s a lot to put on a little conference, I am looking to use this time in New York to find new people to read, and find my mojo and new projects in the process, but more, to plug back into community and reconnect with friends.

If you’ll have me.

I will be blogging about the conference (as well as posting pictures and video) under the BlogHer Diaries tag.  If you want to follow along from home, please use that category heading from the dropdown menu on the left sidebar since other, non-BlogHer posts will probably be scattered in between.

And don’t forget: Friday is the 200th/300th Friday Blog Roundup cake extravaganza.  On Friday, upload a picture of a piece of cake (and don’t get hung up on the words “a piece of cake” — if you want to bake a whole cake or celebrate with an oreo or simply walk by the bakery and take a picture and not put anything in your piehole, it’s all good) and then link to your blog post using the linky function that will be in the Friday Blog Roundup.  It would be lovely if you wrote something about what community means to you.  Why you love being part of the ALI community, and how you feel when you read a particularly satisfying blog post.

Welcome back to your Do-it-Yourself MFA program.

I’m really not sure what happens when you self-publish, so hopefully someone can chime in on the comment section below.  This installment will be about working on a piece of non-fiction or fiction with your editor.  Everything from the signing on the contract to publication day.

First we need to go back to those terms and define some roles.  You are going to be working with an editor and a publisher.  Sometimes, they are one and the same person, but they’ll be doing two very different jobs with you.  An editor is working with you to tighten (or produce) the content.  They will be looking at ideas, character development, tone, pace–and they may also do a little line editing.  The publisher–the person who acquired your manuscript–is more in charge of the life of the book after it’s done.  They were the ones who negotiated with your agent and know the details of the deal, and they’re also the ones who are thinking about marketing and how well the book will do in sales.  You will also work with a book designer and a copyeditor, though your relationship with them will likely be through your editor or publisher.  You will also work with a book publicist, brainstorming ideas based on your contacts and their reach.

I asked an associate editor at a Big Six Publisher about the various jobs associated with the creation of a book and he says,

Your editor is your point-person at the publishing house.  The first thing he is going to do is work with you on shaping your manuscript.  Depending on the book, the editor may do A LOT of line editing, and the publisher may be involved from the first step.  Part of a goal of a big publishing house is to get the whole house behind it, so that Marketing, Publicity, and Sales all strive to make your book the one that breaks out of the morass on the shelves.  Your publisher works with all of the departments to position your book, which can often be something as simple as “People who read Jodi Picoult will want to read this, so let’s see how Jodi Picoult is marketed, designed, and publicized, and we’ll try to copy that.”  The sheer number of people who will help bring your book to the shelves at a big publishing house would rival the end credits of a movie, and one of the biggest advantages of a publishing house is that every person in the process believes that they are integral, rightly so.  Someone is actually putting a lot a lot a lot of thought into the trim of your book, into what font to use, into the running heads (those bits at the top of the page that say your name on one page and the title of the chapter / book on the other).  It helps.

With fiction, the manuscript is complete, but you’ll still do an edit.  Or two.  Or maybe even more.  I had my Big Six associate editor explain:

You’ll do however many edits the publisher / editor requires to feel safe in the belief that they are going to be putting the best possible product into the marketplace.  One of the biggest mind-leaps for an author is that while their manuscript is a work of art, once they sign a contract with any publishing house, big or small, it is also a commodity, and a good relationship with your editor / publisher will maintain that sense of the artistic throughout, there are always considerations as to how the novel will spotlight itself in the marketplace.  In other words, when you finish a manuscript, figure out the hills to die upon.  If changing the ending would make your book no longer yours, bring this up to the editor / publisher who is going to buy the book.  You should definitely be able to have a conversation before the contract is signed, and you want to make sure that you have the same artistic vision as the people who will be adding a marketing and publishing vision to it.  If every word is sacred and you’re going to bristle at editorial guidance, whatever the reason, self-publish, and hire a freelance marketer and publicist.

In other words, the point is to tighten up the manuscript and take it to its best possible place, which is why I’ve said several times that there is a big difference between writing a book and publishing a book.  While books are obviously about the story or the information contained within (in other words, the content), publishing is about the marketability of the book.  About getting it into the right hands.

After the manuscript is complete, you will receive back a series of pages called proofreading and copyediting pages, but we’ll talk more about that below with non-fiction.  You’ll also be asked to think about and approach other authors for book blurbs at this point, which are those small quotations that publishers slap on the cover of the book.

With non-fiction, you’ll start working on the chapters and you’ll probably create an outline with your editor to make sure that you not only have time to write the chapters, but you have time to edit them too.  Don’t be surprised if your publisher hires an independent editor to work with you.  This isn’t unusual with small presses that have small staffs.  You should have good communication with your editor and take deadlines seriously (because they can’t do their job if you don’t do yours).  After the manuscript is complete and turned in, you’ll also wait for the next step (proof-reading and copyediting) as well as pulling together those book blurb people.

Our associate editor points out the most important thing to remember: to hit your deadlines.

Take deadlines as serious as a grease fire.  If you sign a two-book contract, you will have a date in that contract for when the second book is due to the publisher.  You want to make sure you can meet that deadline before you sign, because a publisher will hold you to it, and can cancel the contract if you do not.  It is vital that every author anticipates how much time they will have to write (keeping in mind that, while you are writing book two, you will be publicizing book one) so that you never, ever, ever miss a deadline.

You will receive bound galleys from your publisher, which are a draft of the book layout, usually without the final cover in place.  You will also usually receive unbound pages that show the final layout of the book.  This will give you a chance to correct any mistakes that came with the layout as well as catch more type-os and grammatical errors.  Your publisher will have a formal way they want you to edit which will be a balance of reading the pages yourself as well as answering queries from the proofreader.

Those galleys will also go out to those authors who are blurbing your book, and sometimes to reviewers instead of printing a separate “advance reading copy” or ARC.  It all depends on the finances or protocols of the publisher.

Usually, you’ll go through one or two proofs (also called first pass and second pass).  The second proof is the final proof–meaning, you’ll check that all of your first corrects were made, you’ll search for any other errors, and then the manuscript is out of your hands.  This is where you’ll also see how the final pages look–any graphics or sidebars or tiny icons should all be on these pages.  Once you send back your notes, you’ll wait until you get your copies of your book in the mail.  Some publishers will only send the first proof, so there is only a single chance to catch and correct all the small mistakes.

Er … wait … there’s also the cover.  Most publishers will ask the author a few questions to get a sense of what you envision in the cover design.  The bottom line is that they want you to be happy with your cover.  But you’re also not a marketer and they have had experience picking covers that catch someone’s eye.  Therefore, it will be somewhat of a collaborative process, with your feelings taken into consideration, but ultimately, the book designer creating the cover.

Most publishers will listen and make tweaks (and in some cases, go back to the drawing board) if the author isn’t happy with the cover.  This is a place where your agent should help with the negotiations (remember, this is the person who always has your back).  Our associate editor states,

Your agent earns his or her percentage not by selling your book to a publishing house, but by representing your business interest.  That includes the cover, the marketing, and every other business-related aspect of your book.  If you have a concern or question, the best person to speak through is your agent.  Think of it like you would an attorney.  If you are having a legal dispute, and you’ve hired an attorney, you’re going to let that attorney be your mouthpiece, no?  If you have concerns about the cover, they should go through the agent.  You should be focused on the artistic endeavor of writing and revising, which you should be doing with your editor.  The agent should handle virtually all other matters with the house.

Ultimately, the final cover design is in the hands of the publisher.

So one day, you will get a box with copies of your book.  You will hold your book and cry, thinking about the whole journey from idea to holding it in your hands.  You’ll drop the book in your bag and show it to all your friends.  And soon after that, the book will be sent out via online booksellers or on the shelves of bookstores.  But before all of that, the marketing part begins…

Okay class, any questions on what was discussed here? Please leave them in the comment section below and I will answer them in the comment section below. Keep in mind that I have a lot of topics to cover so your question may be answered in a future installment (see below). So keep your questions about working with an editor and publisher.

Heads Up and Looking Back: topics that will be covered in future installments or that were covered in past installments

1. Before You Even Get Started

2. Are You Ready to Be an Author?

3. How to Write a Non-Fiction Book Proposal

4. Why You Need an Agent

5. How to Get an Agent

6. Querying Agents

7. What Happens Next–Waiting for a Book Sale

8. Self-publishing and Self-representation

9. THIS POST

10. Be Your Own Publicist

11. A Mishmash of Leftover Questions and Answers

Welcome back to IComLeavWe. It stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn’t it sounds like “I come; [but] leave [as a] we”? And that’s sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation and comments should be honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug–a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations.

Here is the vital information, pure and simple (a more detailed set of rules follows below the list):

• The list opens the 1st of every month. It remains open until the 21st. You can add yourself at any point. The list is open to everyone in the blogosphere–blog writers and/or blog readers.
• Add yourself to the list by filling out this form: the list is now closed.  The September list will open on 8/31.
• Click here to cut-and-paste this bit of code to add to your sidebar (if you have the old code from another month, remove it and replace it with this one). You need to add the icon or a link to the current list on your blog (see below) and will not be added until it’s up.
• Commenting kicks off every month on the 21st. Please mark it somewhere (calendar, post-it note taped to your computer…), though I will be sending out an email reminder on the 20th. Commenting week runs from the 21st to the 28th. Every day, leave 5 comments and return 1 comment for a total of 6 comments. You are highly encouraged to choose the blogs you comment on from the participants list below, but this is not required.
• I will send a second email on the 28th to remind you to remove the icon from your blog.
• Read below if you want to find out about Iron Commenters.
• The commenting ends on the 28th. We catch our breath and the whole thing starts again the next month on the 1st. Drop in and out according to what is happening in your life between the 21st and the 28th.

1. Stirrup Queens (twins, books, writing)
2. believing in june (IVF #2, marriage, hope)
3. As Fast As My Baby Can (unexplained infertility journey)
4. Baby On Mind (TTC#1, IVF, unexplained)
5. It’s Always Raining (life, ttc, foster parenting)
6. It Is Tuesday, Right?? (motherhood, ivf, sarcasm)
7. Can I Get Some Sugar with These Lemons? (Korean adoption, endo, infertility)
8. Hope Is A Four Letter Word (infertility, IUI, injectables)
9. Life in the Last Frontier (open adoption, PCOS, infertility)
10. Maybe Baby . . . (or maybe the loony bin) (infertility, life, ivf)
11. In The Middle With You (infertility, adoption, random thoughts)
12. Salvageable (work, family, pregnancy)
13. Our Stork isn’t Great with Directions (pregnancy, ovarian drilling, male infertility)
14. Baby Dreams (TTC#2 with PCOS after loss, my son, life)
15. Baby Magnesi (infertility, ttc, mfi)
16. My Infertility Woes (infertility, fibroid surgery, life)
17. HimPlusMe (infertility, pcos, iui)
18. Barrenista (infertility, adoption, fancy cupcakes)
19. Find Joy Now (infertility, life, adoption)
20. Lifeslurper (over 40, IVF, donor eggs)
21. Raising Cain (someday) (ivf, coping, life)
22. Show your AMOR (single mama by choice, baby, cloth diapering)
23. Cradles and Graves (IVF, cord-related losses)
24. Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings (pregnant after losses, cooking, books)
25. Chasing Mommyhood (iui, endo, single)
26. Eating Myself to Life (pregnant, scared, weight loss)
27. InDueTime (life, infertility, pcos)
28. Dragondreamer’s Lair (parenting, secondary infertility, crafts)
29. Every Now & Then (marriage, kids, autism)
30. Mommy in Waiting (mfi, ivf, infertility)
31. The Infertility Doula (infertility, advice, support)
32. Iscrapandco (scrapbooking travelling randomness)
33. The Big Green Easy (earth-friendly, green, family)
34. Kir’s Corner (twins, IVF/ICSI, marriage)
35. Adventures in Baby Waiting (pregnancy after IVF)
36. Blogging MoRe (life, love, marriage)
37. Ambivalent Womb (mfi, what next?)
38. Little Steps to Baby Steps (IVF #3, miscarriage, god)
39. Infertile Revolution (infertility, politics, feminism)
40. A Long And Winding Road (faith, hobbies, marriage)
41. The (In)fertility Diaries (adoption, life, ttc)
42. Hope Springs Eternal (MFI, infertility, photos)
43. Simplified Mom (parenting, advice, laughter)
44. Parenthood for Me (infertility, adoption, coping)
45. Barricades & Brickwalls (IVF, infertility, endometriosis)
46. Our journey, but not our plan… (adoption, placement, miracle)
47. Body Diaries by Lucy (parenting, pcos, infertility)
48. Surviving the Secondary Infertility Madness (if/sif, pcos, loss)
49. Someday (male factor, mariage, azoos)
50. Waiting Lisa (waiting, domestic adoption, infertility)
51. Beauty for Ashes (infertility, adoption)
52. Finding Her Way (infertility, depression, leaving fundamentalism)
53. Searching for the Missing Piece (fet, pcos, unexplained ivf failure)
54. Chois-R-Us (adoption, life, infertility)
55. The Road to Happily Ever After (life with comedy)
56. The Miss Ruby (living childless, longtermttc)
57. Cheese Curds and Kimchi (Korean adoption, life, humor)
58. All Aboard the Pity Boat (infertility, running, life)
59. Infertility Unexplained (unexplained infertility, acupuncture, treatment options)
60. MoJo Working (marriage, infertility, multiple miscarriages)
61. A Space of My Own (ttc #2, my son, life)
62. Leave It To the Beavers (TTC, loss, life)
63. Your Great Life (fertility, infertility support, decision-making)
64. Infertility And Me (male factor infertility)
65. Alex’s Adventures (infertility, miscarriage, coping)
66. Dreams of a Baby (ivf, fet, photography)
67. Raising Miles (baking, babyraising, randomness)
68. Rotten Eggs? (unexplained infertility, ivf, coping)
69. Outside My Head (family, marathon, movies)
70. That’s My Answer (question of the day, fun, life)
71. Creating a Family (infertility, adoption, adoptive parenting)
72. On Tap for Today (life, humor, boston)
73. Whitney & Erick (infertility, IVF, miscarriage)
74. A little blog about the big infertility (ectopic/loss, bad eggs, hope)
75. Tillie (TTC, life, randomness)
76. Infertility Instability (PCOS, MTHFR, pregnancy)
77. Spermination Station (infertility, random, coping)
78. The 2 Week Wait (TTC, humor, infertility)
79. The Road Less Traveled (infant loss, IVF, grief)
80. Lily in the Valley (infertility, marriage, stepparenting)
81. Time Well Wasted (infertility, IUI, injectables)
82. Mommy ‘Hood (family, life, love)
83. Allison’s Wonderland (infertility, loss, IUI)
84. Some Kind of Ride (adoption, kids, life)
86. We Wait in Joyful Hope (adoption, fun stuff, waiting)
87. Riding the IVF Roller Coaster (14th IVF stim cycle)
88. Our Uphill Battle (ectopic, pcos, infertility)
89. Inconceivable?! (NOA, FET, hope)
90. I Spy A Family (adoption, motherhood)
91. Blawnde’s Blawg (pcos, infertility support, IUI)
92. Fertility Nation (IVF, egg donation, infertility treatments)
93. Here’s to Unwavering Hope (IVF w/ ICSI, hope, love)
94. No Baby Ruth (infertility, pcos, IUI)
95. Dandle Dreams (ttc#1, ivf, science)
96. This Girl Will Never Be The Same (baby loss, grief, faith)
97. Not a Fertile Myrtle (life, azoo, pcos)
98. Inspired Ima (multiples, parenting, photography)
99. Our Family’s Little Journey (my son, ivf #3, ramblings)
100. The Infertile Mind (inspiration, coping, e-class)
101. My Niche of Solace (life, hope, infertility)
102. The Bushey Life (infertility, life, TTC)
103. The Egg Drop Post (infertility, adoption, motherhood)
104. Getting There (adoption, life, waiting)
105. Buzz Off Infertility (infertility, rpl, future)
106. Relaxing Doesn’t Get You Pregnant(crass, twisted, secondary)
107. Waiting For Our Miracle(IVF, ICSI, PCOS)
108. Wistfulgirl’s World(infertility, books, life)
109. The Adventures of a New Mom (new mom, TTC #2, pictures)
110. Inconceivable! (infertility, family, struggles)
111. My Walking Path (nature, gardens, life)
112. Going For It (failed IVF, azoo, future)
113. Baybee Luv (tips, reviews, motherhood)
114. The Eternal Guestroom (infertility, IUI, thoughts)
115. Fertility Foibles (infertility, adoption, humor)
116. Savor the Moment (love, life, infertility)
117. All in God’s Time (embryo adoption, domestic adoption, hope)
118. My Ordinary Miracles (success after infertility, toddler, twins)
119. My Lovely Lady Bump (first pregnancy journey)
120. In Pursuit of Parenthood (iui, follistim/gonal-f, faith)
121. Fox In The Hen House (infertility (POF), elder care, photography)
122. Wanna Bee (waiting, adoption, loss)
123. A Woman My Age (adoption, infertility, parenting after 40)
124. Awaiting Our Miracle (MFI, PCOS, IVF)
125. Pollination Chronicles (IVF abroad, ectopic, hope(full/less)ness)
126. Waiting For Our Miracle (IVF, ICSI, PCOS)
127. Jamie and Us Now and Forever (daughter age four)
128. Flogging the Muse (art, painting, creativity)
129. Waiting for a Baby Bump (IVF, infertility, MF)
130. Knocked up by Another Man (DE-IVF, bedrest, Alaska)
131. Magnolia Queen (weddings, life, family)
132. Planting a Pumpkin Patch (loss, ttc, humor)
133. ThePunkRockMom (life, love, art)
134. We Got Hitched. We Bought the 4 Bedroom House. Now What??? (parenthood after infertility, twins, randomness)
135. Cape Girl’s Journey (pregnancy, IVF, stillbirth)
136. ErnieGirl (pregnant infertile birthmother)
137. Exploring Chaos (parenting after IF, TTC #2, life)
138. Attempting to love life without her (infant loss, foster/adoption, faith)
139. Circus Children (miracle, pregnancy, azoospermia)
140. Capturing the moment (miscarriage, dogs, favorites)
141. Trying not to scream (infertility, loss, life)
142. Dear Stevie… (stillbirth, hope, pictures)
143. Journey to the End of the Rainbow (pregnant, ivf, hope)
144. Adventures in Infertility Land (infertility, baby loss, relationships)
145. Happy Hopefuls (infertility, etsy, family)
146. The Encouraged Egg (ivf, fertility, conception)
147. Losing IF (pregnancy, infertility, hope)
148. Hope Is Ours (azoospermia, ivf, adoption)
149. My Camo Kids: An Army Wife Life (army, family, deployment)
150. A Little Bit of Life (pregnancy, marriage, life)
151. You Call Me a Bitch Like It’s a Bad Thing (ivf, pgd, fibroid/myomectomy)
152. Infertile Follies (IVF, ectopic pregnancy, infertility)
154. Return to Innocence (PTSD from IF, PPD, life)
155. Enchilada Sunrise (knitting & spinning, bipolar, life)
156. Ah… My Married Life (newlywed, ttc, life)
157. Heeeeere Storkey, Storkey! (twins, life, ttc)
158. My Path to Insanity and Beyond (infertility, ivf, trying to conceive)
159. A Half Baked Life (pregnancyafterloss, food, life)
160. The Fertilely-Challenged Black Sheep (ttc, infertility, life)
161. A Greater Yes (embryo adoption, pregnancy, faith)
162. The Dreamer and The Realist (writing, husband, bitchy)
163. A Nuttier Life (TTC, life, randomness)
164. The Infertility Overachievers (success after IVF, toddler, IVF #2)
165. Ready To Be A Mom (pregnant after ivf/fet/miscarriage)
166. Musings of a Hormonal Egg Basket (pregnancy after IVF)
167. {meant to be} MAMA (moms, kids, info)
168. My Violet Thoughts (male factor infertility)
169. Funny Little Pollywogs (embryo adoption, food)
170. The Ros’ Bowl (pregnancy after infertility, ivf)
171. Lauren Vs. The World (clomid, unexplained if, life)
172. No Suzy Homemaker (IVF, RPL, stillbirth)
173. Floss Baby (infertility, IUI, life)
174. the list is now closed.  The September list will open on 8/31

Q: What if I miss a day?

A: Catch up the next day by doubling your comments–12 comments instead of 6.

Q: What if I have two blogs? Can I sign up twice, listing both blogs?

A: Yes, but you also need to double your comments. If you have two blogs listed, you should be leaving 12 comments per day.

Q: What is an Iron Commenter?

A: Not for the faint-of-heart. People who wish to be an Iron Commenter and be entered on the Iron Commenter honour roll need to leave a comment on every blog on the participants list (exceptions are blogs that require you to have a special log-in, such as some LiveJournal accounts or other similar situations). You can spread out this commenting any way you wish over the whole week, but the final comment needs to be left by midnight on the 28th (EST). Reaching Iron Commenter status is done on an honour system. Please email me if you earn Iron Commenter status so I can add you to the wall of honour.

Q: Why do I have to add that bit of code to my sidebar?

A: The code is the latest icon (the icon changes colour every month so you know that you’re on the right list). This month, the icon is purple, the next month it will be green, etc. The reason is two-fold: (1) it enables more people to find out about IComLeavWe and (2) it gives you easy access to the current list once the commenting week actually begins and better ensures that you’ll use it. Too many times, people sign up and forget to actually do IComLeavWe and this icon gives you a daily reminder (with the dates on it) every time you open your own blog. The icon is linked back to the current list. On the 28th, remove the icon from your blog. A new one will be created for the next month.

Q: It’s the 23rd and I just saw this for the first time on my friend’s blog! I want to join the list–why can’t I?

A: Because IComLeavWe happens every month, once the list is closed, it’s closed. If you’re finding out about this on the 23rd, you can’t join the current month. But leave yourself a note to check back in a week on the 1st and you can sign up for the next month.

Q: You said the list closes on the 21st. Well, it’s still the 21st where I am. Why aren’t you moving my information onto the list?

A: All dates and times are U.S. Eastern Standard Time (UTC/GMT -5 hours). The list closes at 11:59 p.m. EST on the 21st.

Q: What if no one comments on my blog and I have no comments to return?

A: Well, that really doesn’t happen for the most part, but in that case, simply choose another blog and add an additional comment. The goal is to hit 6 comments daily as a minimum. Going over that is fantastic and encouraged.

Q: Mel, my question wasn’t covered at all. What do I do?

A: Email me; I’m quite friendly. It helps to place “IComLeavWe” in the subject line. You could also check this post which contains the history of IComLeavWe and see if you can glean anything there.

Looking for the comment section? It has been closed on this post. Use the form in the directions to add yourself to the list.