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Category — Friday Blog Roundup

541st Friday Blog Roundup

I read a post a few weeks ago about the idea of closing the comment section on a blog in order to move the conversation to other social media platforms such as Twitter or Facebook.

He makes some excellent points about the comment section: “The system is built for individual comments, not for discussion threads … Commenting on something that’s more than a couple of days old guarantees that apart from the blog author only a handful of people will ever see the comment, and starting a discussion about a post that’s several months old is pretty much always a dead end.”

I guess what I like about the comment section is that if I find a post weeks later, I can still see the discussion because it’s dangling under the post.  And yes, there are plugins that enable you to run tweets under the blog post, but I assume the tweets disappear if the person removes the plugin or the commenter deletes their Twitter account.  It feels less… permanent.  Beyond that, 140 characters often isn’t enough space to respond to a post, though it is enough space to acknowledge a post.

Commenting has definitely dropped in recent years as more people read from mobile devices and more people blog.  I think when the blogging community was small, you felt obligated to comment and let the person know you read their words.  You also had fewer places to write your thoughts therefore you felt a deeper impulse to comment and use the commenting space.  Now, you can jump into conversations about a post in a wide range of spaces, which dilutes the use of each individual space though the commentary is probably at a similar level if one considers all the places someone may have aired their thoughts.

What do you think of closing down the comment section in order to funnel people toward social media for conversation?

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Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

I actually had “Draw Your Infertility” by Because I Can’t Have Babies bookmarked for this week because I didn’t read it until last weekend.  So I decided to put it in both places mostly because I think the exercise she did in the workshop is so helpful and applicable to a large range of emotionally-charged situations.  And yes, I am going to make you click over to see what she did in the workshop.  Believe me, you’ll want to bookmark the post, too, and return to it on a day you need it.

Persnickety Chickadee has a frank post about dealing with depression.  She also points out this fact about carrying your traditions and expectations with you: “Everyone’s expectations around home behaviours are different.  And because it’s something learned at home, where everyone else does it, it can be hard to explain it to someone else.”  This is why I read blogs and write a blog: because reading about someone else’s experience makes me feel less alone.

Unpregnant Chicken is struggling with the question many of us grapple with at some point in our treatment journey: reconciling her political beliefs about conception with her heart’s beliefs about conception.  It’s an interesting read.

Invincible Spring has a beautiful post about what a difference a year makes.  She writes, “During all those long years of loss, infertility and loneliness, I often comforted myself with the thought that life can change profoundly and unexpectedly in a single season, in the blink of an eye. ‘Everything could look completely different this time next year‘, I told myself, hoping it might be for the better.”  And isn’t that the hope that fuels us to put one foot in front of the other?

Two Adults, One Child kicks off her post with a venn diagram and then asks the eternal question: how does someone find their purpose?  It’s not just an interesting post that will encourage you to take a step back and look at your own life, but an interesting discussion is taking place in the comment section, too.

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled has a moving post about the plot next to her daughter’s grave finally getting the plaque on it.  You should read this post precisely because it is a hard read.  Because hard reads are usually important reads because they force us to look at the truth about living and the time we have.

The roundup to the Roundup: What do you think about moving commenting to other platforms?  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 10th and 17th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

April 17, 2015   17 Comments

540th Friday Blog Roundup

So the Wolvog just finished his first online college class.  He audited it instead of taking it for credit because I wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep up.  But he did, excitedly chatting with his fellow students on the class forum and taking his exams at night.  It was super cute and sometimes I snapped pictures of him while he was trying to work and then screeched, “you are so cute!”  He got really good at ignoring me.

The only problem came when he got to the final project.

He dragged his heels because he wanted it to be spectacular.  He kept coming up with ideas and summarily rejecting them.  The clock kept ticking closer to the deadline, and I advised him that satisfactory-but-turned-in beat spectacular-but-not-turned-in.  It was finally a few days before the due date and he started working on coding a game.  He finished it with hours to spare except for a small glitch.  He sent a message asking for help from a fellow classmate and went to baseball practice.  When he came home, the answer was waiting, and he fixed the project.  Completed, at last.

He went to turn it in and discovered that he was locked out of the class.  The due date had been a half hour earlier; the time zone listed as one 5 hours ahead of our own even though the college itself was 3 hours behind our own.  He couldn’t turn in the project and would have to accept a zero, lowering his final grade from an A to a B.

He asked me to email his professor, and I did, explaining that I’m writing because I’m his mother and he’s 10 and lacks the ability to negotiate that power dynamic.  He is accustomed to a school situation where his mother can mosey into the classroom and speak to his teacher if there is an issue.  And I also explained that he would have to accept the consequences if it was impossible to turn in the project.

The professor was sympathetic but ultimately couldn’t bend the rules.  The due date was the due date.  Even though it was marked as a zero, she still gave him feedback and praise on the project, and I think he left the class feeling good about it overall.

I think letting him experience that was important — not the class, I mean, but having your hard work not counted due to lateness.  I don’t think he’ll procrastinate like that again.  He gets that the stakes are raised as you age, and that there will be times in the future where he will have to set aside other fun things to buckle down and get something done.  That he may sometimes need to settle on an idea that is satisfactory instead of waiting for something spectacular to spring up in his brain.

I think it’s a good sign that he’s looking for another class to take in the future — either in person at a local college or online again.  It means that he gets the idea that he’s going to be held to a standard and he gets to choose whether he rises to reach it and reaps the benefits or not.

Plus he’s still promising me that I can move to wherever he goes to college in the future so I can still do his laundry and cook his meals and tuck him in at night.  Hoping the ChickieNob chooses the same city if not the same college since she has that plan, too.  Though I’ve been told that I need to stop screeching at them, “you are so cute!” and covering them in kisses while they’re in class.  Online is fine since their classmates can’t see.  But in the classroom?  So embarrassing.

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STAR WARS COMES OUT ON ITUNES TODAY!  Um… yes… we set aside a gift card we had to purchase all 6.  One needs to be able to carry these things with them in their pocket at all times.

Isn’t that mid-blowing?  It used to be such a big deal to get to see the movies at home on a VCR.  Now I can carry all of them in my pocket on my phone.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

I Try: The Additive Property of Happiness has a fantastic post on BlogHer this week busting her top three infertility myths.  It’s nice to have words going out to a more general audience instead of preaching to the choir, and I can see the post being shared over and over again across the Internet.  She’s invited people to add their favourite myths in the comment section, and I encourage you — if you want your words to travel outside this community and hit a more general population — to add your myth in the comment section ASAP.  It’s a great chance to spread a little more understanding into the world.

Searching for Our Silver Lining has a post about choosing to pick up heads-down pennies, superstitions be damned.  I love how she has taken bad omens and turned them around, writing, “Before our final treatment cycle, Grey informed me that we were black cats as others viewed us harboring bad luck. And yet we continued to persevere, choosing to live and exist without apology.”

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ has a post asking you to treat yourself as well as you would treat others, especially when it comes to infertility and loss.  If you have uttered something cruel to yourself lately; told yourself that you need to suck it up or get over it or that you’re not “woman enough” or that all of this is your fault, you need to read this post.  Run, don’t walk, over to her blog.

The roundup to the Roundup: Wolvog learns not to procrastinate.  Star Wars is out on iTunes.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 3rd and 10th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

April 10, 2015   13 Comments

539th Friday Blog Roundup

Tonight kicks off Pesach.  I have tearfully said goodbye to bread and pasta for the next 8 days, and sighed a not-very-welcoming hello to the matzah.  This is not one of my favourite holidays.  It is very hard to be a picky vegetarian at Pesach and get enough protein.

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Skip this section if you skipped the recent post that had the Harry Potter spoiler because there is further discussion of the spoiler.  Leaving a few spaces to give you time to jump ahead.

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Okay, I call foul on the idea that it was a self-generating potion.  That would be completely out of character for Voldemort.  The man/snake has hubris.  He believes he is invincible and smarter than any other wizard.  Therefore (1) he wouldn’t believe that anyone would ever know of the Horcruxes, (2) if they did know about the Horcruxes, they would never seek one out to destroy him, (3) if they were seeking Horcruxes that they would know about the cave, and (4) that if they did reach the cave that they would get to the island.

His security measures are not really security measures.  They are more Voldemort playing with his prey like a cat plays with a mouse.  All the obstacles are there for his personal enjoyment of his own cleverness because he never believed anyone would actually reach that cave, much less the island.  Therefore, there would be no need to create a regenerating potion because the only time Voldemort would be returning to that island would be to retrieve and use the Horcrux.  Why would he want to use a regenerating potion — surely more difficult to create and maintain — if he believed there would never be a reason to refill the bowl?

Plus, he underestimates other witches and wizards through the whole series — from Lily Potter to Harry, himself.  Why would he account for other people’s dedication or intelligence now?

I know, we’ve thought about this way too much.  It’s like we’ve turned into little Potter scholars.

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Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

River Run Dry gutted me with her post about giving away the last of the baby things.  Karen already dealt with my hysterical sobby emails, so I will spare you the recap.  But this line gutted me: “As I stood there, looking at it, grief washed over me.  He is my last baby.”  I am with her on the 99% of the time (um… maybe more like 97% of the time), especially when we are biking or plotting out our visits to Harry Potter conventions or reading young adult books.  But that 3% of the time?  It’s there, too.

Bound By Symmetry is back with a post about holding a room for a nursery when there isn’t a child on the way.  Especially when they have guests staying with them soon.  Should she really ask them to stay in the basement just so she can hold the unused room for someone who isn’t here yet?  You can see my take on her situation in the comment section, though add your own while you’re there.

Lastly, it was a week for crying-while-reading.  Something Out of Nothing is writing a series of posts for her daughter with the A to Z Challenge.  The first one, for the letter A, recounts her feelings on losing her mother in the month of April.  She writes so movingly about connecting with her mother through her daughter: “She gave me a connection to my mom I hadn’t experienced before. With every act of mothering, there was a recognition, a repetition. She bathed me and changed my diapers. She worried and watched while I slept. She responded to my cries with love and compassion. She watched in wonder as I grew and changed daily.”  It is such a gorgeous post.  You need to go over and read the whole thing.

The roundup to the Roundup: Pesach starts tonight.  More on the Harry Potter spoiler.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 27th and April 3rd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

April 3, 2015   9 Comments

538th Friday Blog Roundup

The deed is done, the plans are set, the kitchen remodeling is happening.  Like… soon.  Like scary soon.  I thought it would take longer to get underway, but we ended up signing on at the first meeting and making all of our design decisions.  And yes, I will take before and after pictures.  Though… you know… maybe more after than before because really, the kitchen is awful.

I am getting my bookshelf in the kitchen. (Eating next to Harry Potter and Bilbo Baggins?  Yes, please!)  But re-doing the kitchen means taking down the twins’ artwork for the time being and only putting back up a fraction of what is in place at the moment because I’m losing display space.

Every surface in the kitchen is covered with drawings.  Some of it is that I think everything the twins do is wonderful. (Because my kids are perfect, right?)  But the rest of it is that those drawings make me feel as if they’re here with me during the day.  I’m framing some of my favourites and formally hanging them on the new “art exhibit” wall.  I’m designating some frames as the permanent collection (their totally cute babyhood stuff) and other frames as belonging to current exhibits (like from current art classes).  But it will be weird to have the cabinet doors sans artwork.

To make myself feel better, I’m hanging three drawings next to my desk, too.

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This is it!  Last few days!  Life from Scratch was chosen by Amazon to be one of the monthly deals for March. I would love your help in getting word out via social media. Pretty please?

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IComLeavWe list for April opened a few hours ago.  Join along.  Celebrate spring with… comments.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Life Begins again gutted me with a post written a week after closing the door on family building.  It’s a raw post about the nevers.  My heart stopped at this line: “I think about names I will never get to use.”  I still think about the names I have tucked away.  It’s a powerful piece.

A Little Bit More has a post about finally finding the courage to let family know that she is infertile, and having the news met with crickets.  Not actual crickets… of course (yikes!), but awkward silence.  It’s about seeking support and finding that it’s not there.  A moving read.

Accio Baby is trying to construct a pyramid of understanding when it comes to infertility.  At the top point are people currently experiencing infertility, and below that are several groups.  It’s an interesting exercise, and the comment section is just as thought-provoking as the post itself.

Lastly, Lavender Luz asks a question that gave me pause.  It’s an interesting question to a common situation (and yes, you’ll have to click over to see the question because describing it would sort of ruin the gut reaction), and the answer probably says more about us than I’d like to admit.

The roundup to the Roundup: Kitchen renovation, full speed ahead.  Last chance to help me get word out about Life from Scratch.  April’s IComLeavWe.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 20th and 27th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

March 27, 2015   11 Comments

537th Friday Blog Roundup

Updated in the Middle

If you read my blog on your phone, you may have noticed that it looks totally different.  That is because, after many requests (and a nice long wait on my to-do list), I finally got around to making a mobile version of the site.  By which I mean that I called Lori and said, “what is the easiest way to do this?”  And she held my hand and walked me through it because she is a goddess and knows that I have a low tolerance for technical things as of late.  So thank Lori if you read me on your phone.

This year, she didn’t hold her annual Limerick Chick contest for St. Patrick’s Day, but in honour of my beloved Lori:

I once met this girl through my site
I immediately thought she was dy-no-mite!
She helped my blog go on your phone
With nary a moan
That’s because she’s filled with lavender light!

P.S. If you hate the mobile version, you can toggle back to the desktop version via a link at the bottom of the screen on your phone.  But seriously, the mobile version rocks.

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Life from Scratch was chosen by Amazon to be one of the monthly deals for March. It will be on sale the whole month. I would love your help in getting word out via social media. Pretty please?

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Updated:

I saw this in the morning and had to add it.  TOTALLY worth six minutes of your time if you live in US and will know who all these politicians are.  Probably not as funny if you don’t.  It’s Too Many Cooks, election-style.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Two Adults, One Child has a post about how she allows fear to rule her life.  Let’s just say that it hit very close to home for me, and I’m sure it will ring true for many more people.  It’s a great read, especially the part at the end where she takes the first step to tell those fears to shove it.

Riding the IVF Roller Coaster has a post about a blogger who stopped writing.  We often hear from people about their decision to close their blog, but there are fewer posts from the other side: the reader.  She writes, “For a time she’d write something, and although our situations were very different, I understood. It’s like there were some facets in our hearts that were the same: shattered, sparkling, miss cut, whatever.”  A good read.

Lavender Luz tried the intimacy experiment this week with differing results from engaging with the three people in her house.  Go over and read her experience, and then go try it with someone.

Lastly, When Agony Met Hope has a post about how we play fertility detective each month with our cycle.  What does that twinge mean?  And could I be a tad nauseated?  She writes, “I feel like I’ve spent the last 48 hours playing Agony Vagina, PI. Gathering evidence for my case to prove that yes, there is indeed a bun in my oven.”  So true.  And her detective work ultimately led to good news, too.

The roundup to the Roundup: I have a mobile version of my site.  Please help me get word out about Life from Scratch.  Too Many Cooks!  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 13th and 20th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

March 20, 2015   14 Comments

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