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Category — Friday Blog Roundup

546th Friday Blog Roundup

My car needed to go in for service this week, which meant that I had to drive Josh’s car for a day.  Josh’s car was my car, once upon a time, but when we got a new car many years ago, I took the new one and he took my old one.

Because I am an adult with 25 years of driving experience under my belt not to mention the former owner of the aforementioned car, it shouldn’t have been that difficult to slip behind the wheel again.  But it was.  It felt so strange.  It was like cooking dinner using someone else’s hands.

It is such an odd experience to drive an unfamiliar car.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Lavender Luz responds to Dear Abby’s flippant advice to an adoptee.  Instead of telling the teenager just to forget about her feelings until later, she gives him/her concrete advice on dealing with his/her complicated emotions.  It’s a great post.

Happiness and Food has a post about the yin of life; those moments when you’re not trucking along, you’re not engaged in forward movement, you’re not seeing your hard work pay off by moving you closer to a goal.  It was sort of the perfect post to read when you feel like you’re not moving forward, and honouring the importance of the space you are in at the moment instead of wishing to be someplace else.

Popcorn Ceiling Life has a post about the loss of her brother on his birthday.  She explains, “Sometimes I feel it all at once. Sometimes I don’t feel it all.”  It’s a moving post about experiencing a moment when she notices the gaping hole his absence has created in her life.

Lastly, Me Plus One recounts an exchange with her daughter that is both sweet and heartbreaking at the same time.  In a game of pretend, her daughter talks about missing a beloved family member.  She says, “I know she’s gone, Mommy. Let’s just pretend she’s not. Let’s pretend she just went away. Let’s pretend she’s in S’awaii & she can come visit.”  Go read the whole post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Driving an unfamiliar car.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 15th and 22nd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

May 22, 2015   5 Comments

545th Friday Blog Roundup

My brain has been on the Amtrak train crash.  That’s my train — the one I take when I go to New York.  It is hard to read about the passengers who died; to think about what their families are going through right now.

It is scary because thousands of times a day, we put our trust in other people.  The other people on the road.  The people in the driver’s seat.  We put our trust in machines and buildings and roads and bridges.  There is so much trust we extend to others, and then something like this happens and it makes me want to curl my trust up inside my hand like an empty paper straw wrapper.  I want to fold my trust against my palm or tuck it away in my pocket.  It is really hard to go out there when you get these moments that remind you how interconnected we are, how dependent.  We each affect everyone else’s life.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do with that idea.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Invincible Spring has a post about alternate worlds.  It’s a theory I’ve always loved.  She draws comfort from it, writing: “It also means someplace my 4.5 year old son is playing amiably with my one year old daughter. Someplace S is alive and growing and laughing in something other than the breeze that sways the trees.”  It’s a gorgeous post about a thought-provoking idea.

I really liked Bent Not Broken’s post about Mother’s Day.  There were a lot of post-Mother’s Day posts this week, and this one summed up what I think a lot of us felt.  We got through it.  And it’s rarely as bad as we fear.  An ordinary day (well, except for the mimosa), with reading and shampoo shopping and a little bit of sadness.  But ultimately okay.  And over.

Lastly, River Run Dry has a must-read post about the vitriol we bring online as we discuss events, fomented by the presentation of subject in the media.  She explains: “It’s just been recently that I’ve been feeling like one big nerve ending whenever I go online.”  How do we find solutions when we’re all yelling to be heard?  You’ll chew on this post for a while.

The roundup to the Roundup: It’s hard when you realize how much we need to trust one another.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 8th and 15th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

May 15, 2015   7 Comments

544th Friday Blog Roundup

Today is Truman Day in Missouri. We like to celebrate it over here in Maryland as a nod to our guinea pig, Truman. (Though we think our 33rd president was pretty swell, too.)  Though Josh claims that every day seems to be Truman Day in our house, today he is getting extra cuddles, extra cookies, and extra time listening to guinea pig videos on YouTube.

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We’re caught up on Sherlock and now awaiting new episodes, which won’t come for almost another year.  I’m not really a fan of mysteries or crime shows, but I love Sherlock, especially the episode with Irene Adler and the Hounds of Baskerville.

I know we can revisit the characters through old episodes, but we all know that it’s not the same thing as watching it the first time.  Am I the only one who misses characters — not the show, itself — when the episodes run out?  It feels like two friends have moved far away; somewhere without telephones or Internet.  I miss the ritual of spending time with them.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.  Just in case you need a distraction on this most-difficult of weekends, there are a lot of posts in the Roundup.  I couldn’t narrow it down to my usual 4 and instead let everything bookmarked land on the list.

A+ Effort has a post about race that is… amazing. It’s simple, it’s short, it says so much in such a small space. To me, it’s a must-read for everyone.

Today’s the Day has a post about body image.  I am so glad that she decided to post the picture of herself because every shape of body should be represented in running photos.

My Path to Mommyhood has a post about how infertility has subtly changed her personality, shaping the way she approaches hope.  It’s about finding the balance that protects her heart while still allowing her to be herself.

Wild and Precious Life has a brief post about the unfinished nursery that made me cry.  These are the lines that gutted me: “I struggle with the urge to finish the nursery. To hang their names on the wall, to reorder the returned cribs. To unfold the handmade blankets.”  Please read the whole thing.

Two Kids and Counting… Slowly has a post about hitting the end of the brainstorming road, and not seeing how they’ll ever have another child.  She explains: “I am not even numb, it’s just like… a big I’M OUT OF IDEAS flashing across my brain … I’m just out of any other feelings about it.  Is it possible to run out of feelings after a long time dealing with something?”  I love this description of finding yourself at the end of your thoughts.

The Lewis Note also has a post that made me weepy about doing the laundry while not knowing if the child she is fostering will remain with her or go back home.  Every load of laundry brings her closer to that decision, and she holds the tiny items wondering how many more times she’ll get to wash and fold them.

A Separate Life asks an excellent question: how often are you in your photographs?  Do you ask others to take a picture of you when you travel?  Do you take selfies?  I’ll admit, I take many pictures and I’m in very few.  Maybe I should change that.

Lastly, Baby-Making Merry-Go-Round has a sobering and important post of what it feels like when you are being tested for cancer.  It begins: “In a nutshell, it’s a mixture of feeling sick to your stomach, mixed with moments of shortness of breath, following by long deep breaths. I think that’s the basic feeling.”  Please go over and read the whole thing, and then stick around and leave a message of support in the comment section.

The roundup to the Roundup: It’s Truman Day!  Do you miss television characters when a show is over/goes on hiatus?  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 1st and 8th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

May 8, 2015   14 Comments

543rd Friday Blog Roundup

I got into a discussion on Twitter about the mother who was seen beating her son as she removed him from the Baltimore protests. I’ll start by saying that I don’t condone violence of any kind or for any reason. I’ve been uncomfortable with the Facebook comments people have written as they put up the video stating that she wins mother-of-the-year. I would never call beating your child a great parenting moment.

BUT.

I saw a woman who was terrified. Who was in the middle of a chaotic, emotional situation and interacted with her son inside that bubble of fear.

We all like to think that we would continue to be ourselves and hold tightly to our ethics in the face of that sort of fear. But I don’t know if I would. Meaning, I’ve never been in a high stakes situation like that where I had to get my child out of danger. I don’t know if I would be myself at that time.

I have no clue how this woman parents in a calm moment. I’ve only seen how she reacted to stress in this one particular moment. I don’t think that we do our best parenting in those moments.

Do I wish she had removed him without using violence? Yes. But I’ve also have never stood in her shoes and have no clue what I would do if I saw my child in danger and they weren’t going to follow me out of danger by using reason. I just don’t know.

But I do know that it’s dangerous to judge a whole person — good or bad — by a moment.

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My house is loud. It’s hard to think.

I brought Truman upstairs with me because I didn’t want him scared by the noise or breathing in the fumes and dust. He was quiet all day but decided that he wanted to start playing around midnight. I told him to go to sleep but laughed hysterically as he attacked his water bottle, a formidable opponent.  Isn’t our pig so damn cute, Josh?

But I wasn’t laughing when he decided to play with the water bottle again at 2:30 am. Nor was I laughing when he decided that 5 am was a great time to get in another fight with the water bottle. Or when at 6 am he decided he was up for the day and would love to be fed.

It is making me rethink the whole dog idea.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Pages, Stages, and Rages has a wonderful rant in time for Mother’s Day.  We point out these fails year after year, the narrow definition with which people define motherhood.  She writes, “Mother is not only a noun– it is a verb. One of those definitions is ‘to care for or protect like a mother.’  Please remember it.”  Yeah, I wish they would.

TasIVFer has a wonderful post explaining how she once was fearful for the type of mother her friend’s child would become, and how she has surprised her by being the opposite.  It’s a nice post about how our expectations can limit us, and how people sometimes astonish us in a good way.

Breathe Gently has a post about secondary infertility and all the things she didn’t know until she experienced it.  To quote Smarshy (remember Smarshy?!), secondary infertility is just a different “bag of ass.”  It is such a well-written summary of the complex feelings that surround trying to conceive again after a first bout of infertility.

Lastly, Life and Love in the Petri Dish writes about flying back out to Denver to cycle again at her clinic.  She explains, “Being back at the Denver clinic was weird… strangely boring this time around but also nostalgic. We flew through much of the day without blinking an eye. The consents, the credit card payments, the procedural instructions on injections, etc.? We’ve got all that down pat.”  It’s another leg of a long journey, and I wish them so many good thoughts as they gear up to cycle again.

The roundup to the Roundup: The Baltimore mother.  My house is loud.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 24th and May 1st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

May 1, 2015   10 Comments

542nd Friday Blog Roundup

I am currently writing this on a cocktail of three allergy medications, so I’d like to apologize in advance if it’s complete gibberish.  None of the three allergy medications actually make a difference, but I’m scared to test that theory and stop taking them.  I am a liquidy, itchy mess on them.  Who knows how much I’d ooze across the grocery store without them.

A side note: do you know how bizarre Sherlock is in a Benadryl haze?

I need the trees to stop with their pollen making.  Please, trees.  Do it for me.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

I had The Empress and the Fool’s heartbreaking post, Mother to Son, bookmarked for this week.  As much as it is about loss, it is also about the deep love that she has for her son.  She writes with such grace and beauty: “It was my privilege to feed and protect you, to watch you grow, to share this symbiosis, your cells with my cells in an ancient dance. I just wish I could have loved you from the outside.”  It is a moving tribute, one I wish she never had cause to write.

A Little Bit More has a post that shares a story of a poor decision from her childhood that illustrates how a single moment doesn’t define a whole person.  After reading about another child’s tantrum on Facebook, she tells a story about her own tantrum, explaining the impulse behind it.  And she asks important questions about public shaming — not posts that ask for advice but ones where the sole purpose is to shame the child for mistakes made.

Today’s the Day has a post about the concept of ancestors when you’re an adoptee.  It’s a post that runs so deep that I can’t really do it justice by writing about it, but I really really really (yes, it needs three reallys) think everyone should read this post.  Because you need to be witness to such an important moment of a single voice stating her truth, and it will make you think.  I promise.

Lastly, while there were many excellent NIAW posts this week, Resolve already rounded those up.  I wanted to highlight The Polka-Dot Umbrella’s post about not participating in NIAW.  It made me smile because it reminded me of that scene in Dead Poet’s Society where Robin Williams asks the boys to walk around the courtyard, and one uniquely expresses himself by not walking.  The non-walkers, or the non-writers in this case, are so important, too.  She calls it a grumpy post, but I’m grateful she wrote it and spoke up for the people who aren’t comfortable speaking up.

The roundup to the Roundup: My allergies are killing me.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 17th and 24th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

April 24, 2015   12 Comments

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