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Category — Friday Blog Roundup

505th Friday Blog Roundup

i09 had a post about the personality test that came in The Pigman — which, yes, I read in middle school.  You are given a brief situation and then need to mentally debate the actions of the characters.  Ready?

A husband and wife live on one side of the river.  They have a good marriage and genuinely love each other BUT the wife has a lover on the side.  She hates this fact about herself and tries to resist the relationship, but she goes to this lover every time her husband goes away.  The lover lives on the other side of the river.

One day, the husband needs to leave on a business trip.  The wife begs him to take her along, but he tells her that she’ll only be in the way.  He leaves without her and she goes to her lover’s house.

One morning, she is leaving her lover’s house, trying to beat her husband home so he won’t know about her infidelity, when she encounters an assassin on the bridge that spans the river.  She knows that if she tries to cross, he will kill her.  She doubles back and goes down to the water where she asks a boatman to take her across.  He agrees, but asks for a great deal of money.  She doesn’t have the cash, so she goes and asks her lover to give her the money so she can get home safely.  He tells her that getting across the bridge is her own problem.

So she tries to cross the bridge, and she’s killed over the river.

As i09 writes, “The cast of characters in this little drama is – husband, wife, assassin, lover, boatman. List the characters in order you consider them responsible for the wife’s death.”

Scroll down and put your answer in the comment section.  Then come back here to read the rest of this post and click here to see what each character represents.

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Yes, this is your weekly reminder to back up your blog, social media accounts, and email.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

And if you don’t know how to back up your blog, read this post on BlogHer that talks about manual backups and plugins.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Searching for Our Silver Lining has a post about feeling silenced.  She so eloquently points out: “There’s a problem that emerges when one is silenced. For most humans, voicing worries and frustrations is a way to process what is happening. A form of problem-solving … Silencing takes all of that away, leaving the person instead involved with a growing shapeless form that tortures and torments. It also instills a sense of shame and guilt, all the while destroying.”  Go read her post in full.

Tales of a Batty Nurse has an emotional post about searching for and finding her birthmother’s name.  It’s a brief post, but it summarizes so well why children should always have access to their birth records.

It’s not an IF post, but I feel that it speaks to a general feeling that pops up often in our community.  I love the honesty and openness in Sassymonkey’s post about depression.

Inconceivable! has a post about her tattoo, and I love this sentiment: “When I first started considering getting a tattoo, I wasn’t particularly serious. I was worried about the permanence. I worried about making marks, about forever altering myself in any way.  Then infertility hit and I realized something: life was going to put marks on me, whether I willed it or not.”  The ink she chose is pretty too; prettier than infertility and loss and stomach bruises and surgery scars.

Lastly, Amateur Nester has a post about weight gain and infertility.  She writes of the extra pounds: “It’s all due to a combination of fertility drugs, not being able to exercise during treatment cycles, poor eating habits, and not feeling motivated to exercise during non-treatment cycles.”  Infertility, the gift that keeps on giving!  As someone who had to buy new jeans (and cried hard doing so), I stand by her in solidarity.

The roundup to the Roundup: How did you rank the characters?  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between July 25th and August 1st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

August 1, 2014   21 Comments

504th Friday Blog Roundup

Ooooh, this is so trippy, but it totally worked for me. By this point, I get how he did it, but without touching the pause button or doing anything other than watch and play along (it’s only a minute video), tell me if it worked for you.  Make sure you watch all the way to the end!

Did it work for you?

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Yes, this is your weekly reminder to back up your blog, social media accounts, and email.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Better Full Than Empty popped up with a post recently.  (I’m late with this, and strangely, I read it and commented BEFORE I wrote the last Roundup.  But I missed my bookmark until now.  And since it’s my blog and I write the rules, I’m including it.  So there.)  She imagines the-child-that-should-have-been as a two-year-old.  She writes, “On days like today the giant pile of what isn’t weighs me down. I have hit a wall.”  It’s a beautiful, brief post about mourning.

Birds, Bees, and Medicine has a post about baby showers: why she doesn’t want one and why she is having one.  And I just liked the idea of a clambake/non-babyish baby shower.  It’s fun to see people thinking outside the box.

Lastly, The Road Not Travelled is reeling after being laid off from her job.  She compares the sensation of disbelief over hearing the news to the astonishment she felt after her daughter died.  She brings us right into the moment with “sitting on an almost-empty homebound train, staring out the window…”  As she says, she survived 16 years ago, and she will survive this too.

The roundup to the Roundup: Did the magic trick work for you?  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between July 18th and July 25th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

July 25, 2014   12 Comments

503rd Friday Blog Roundup (and the 8th Anniversary!)

So this is it.

The 8th anniversary of the Roundup.

8 years, 403 posts, about 1600 posts highlighted.

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Yes, this is your weekly reminder to back up your blog, social media accounts, and email BUT, it is also an opportunity to point you towards a post that Keiko sent me.

It’s a checklist every blog owner should fill out and keep offline (yes, you need to make a paper copy) in order to have this information at your fingertips should the shit hit the fan with your site.

So an extra little task to throw into your weekly backup (because you are performing a weekly backup, right?)

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Something Out of Nothing has a post about anniversaries on the infertility calendar, in this case, a good one.  One year earlier was the transfer date that yielded her current child.  I absolutely love this line: “Prior to this week, he used to marvel at baby girl’s completeness and muse, ‘A year ago, you didn’t exist.’  He can’t say that anymore.”  But what I really loved was the idea of setting aside Fertilization Day as a day for all future siblings to celebrate with the embryos that came from that batch.  It’s a unique holiday only singletons born from the same embryo batch could celebrate.  A tiny silver lining?

Life as I Know It has an encounter with a stranger that leaves her unsettled.  She writes, “But I knew there were little ears listening–ears that miss nothing, that internalize everything. How I responded was important. Yet again, I was woefully unprepared for dealing with this kind of situation.”  Despite feeling unprepared, she handled the man’s question beautifully.

Bee in the Bonnet has an emotional post about losing fictive kin, her mother’s best friend who was a second mother to her.  How the outside world can’t wrap their brain around relationships; that we constantly ask (and judge) how close two people are based on what we assume about relationships.  And in this post, it is quite clear that the labels we put on relationships such as mother, daughter, aunt, or friend do not convey the amount of love that exists between two people.

Lastly, It Is What It Is (or Is It?) has a post about a breakthrough that came in therapy, connecting all of her current and past behaviours to a single event: feeling trapped.  It’s a fascinating post about how the brain works; how our experiences inform our future actions.  And how we can rewire our brains to think differently once we know what informs our decisions today.

The roundup to the Roundup: It’s the 8th anniversary of the Roundup.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between July 11th and July 18th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

July 18, 2014   15 Comments

502nd Friday Blog Roundup

By now, you have likely heard about the discovery of the vampire squirrels of Borneo. Granted, it’s local legend, but I totally believe it. I believe it enough to write a series of songs about vampire squirrels and sing them for Truman.  He is in full agreement that we want to live in a world with vampire squirrels.

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Next Roundup marks the 8th anniversary of the Friday Blog Roundup.  As always, I’d like to do something to mark the occasion.  Because it would be difficult for all of us to write an ode to vampire squirrels in time (I get that you need to organize your thoughts), I instead propose that every single person who reads the Roundup weekly takes two seconds of their time this week to find one blog post out there to highlight.  That’s it.  Just find one post.  You do not have to stress if you find two posts that you like or decide between them: just submit two.  Or three.  Or eighteen.  Really, this is about gathering up good or interesting or moving or funny writing.

So bookmark this Roundup, and when you find a post you like this week (meaning, written today or later… up until Thursday morning), leave it in the comment section below.  I will gather them all up, and we’ll have a fat Second Helpings for next week.

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In case you missed this post earlier in the week, Lori is hosting an online book tour for Apart at the Seams, and I would love it if you joined along.  Pretty please?

Lavender Luz is hosting a book tour for my newest book, Apart at the Seams (thank you!).  Sign up goes until August 1st, and the posts will go up September 4th.  See, lots of time to read the book and join along.  All you need to do right now is click over and fill out Lori’s online form to let her know you’re participating.

If you can’t participate, but still want to do something, consider spreading word with a blog post, Goodreads review, Amazon review, or getting an enormous Arianna tattoo across your lower back.

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DON’T SKIP THIS SECTION, SLACKER!

Time for your weekly nag:

This is just your friendly nudge to do your weekly backup.  I know, I know, who has the time to create backups on a weekly basis?  No one.  But you still need to do it and forgo ten minutes of something else, once a week.  Right now, before you do anything else, use this post to roll through a quick backup of your email, documents, images, blog, social media accounts, and mobile devices.  Reading the Roundup on the go and don’t have the ability to do your backup right now?  Email yourself a copy of the Roundup so that the email will serve as a visual reminder to get this task done.  Ten minutes of your time once a week may save you a major loss of time and data down the road.  Don’t have regrets.  So, on your marks, get set, back up!

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

I love this post about shedding things by The Empress and the Fool.  It’s a bit like a snake sloughing off its outer layer to make way for the newer, shinier skin.  I love this line: “I’m also in a really strange place with friends, shedding relationships like a molting bird, some of it circumstantial, some of it by choice.”  It’s about making space in your life for new things, even as you mournfully bob in the memory of all that has sailed away.

A Woman My Age has a post on house envy, but it’s really coveting whatever you don’t have.  It throws into sharp relief the reality that every single decision brings with it benefits and drawbacks.  Having kids, taking a job, buying a house: every life decision can be examined through a positive or negative lens.  And knowing that, well… you can see the positivity in every choice.

Will Carry On is pregnant after adoption and loss, and she writes about feeling like a fraud.  I love this point: “‘I’m one of you!’ I want to shout. ‘Do you know what I’ve been through?!? I deserve this.’ It’s like I want, and need, to defend myself…to total strangers.”  But mostly, I really love the end of the post: the questions she has about being pregnant after so much loss, and having a new association with pregnancy instead of equating it with pain.  It’s a really moving post.

Lastly, Stumbling Gracefully has a post about comparative parenting, wondering if she is a good mother when she observes other mothers.  She explains, “I know comparison is the thief of joy, and I honestly believe that to be true, but I don’t feel like this is that kind of comparison. I’m not looking at what my cousins have and wishing I had it. This isn’t about envy or jealousy of a feeling that something is unfair. This is about watching other women who are damn good mothers and not ever seeing them falter and wondering if the fact that I do falther makes me a bad mom, or less-than in some way.”  Go over and read the whole post and comment section.  It’s a very interesting thought on whether we’re as good as we think we are when we don’t have a measuring stick to tell us otherwise.

The roundup to the Roundup: Vampire squirrels!  Help fatten up the Second Helpings section to celebrate the 8th anniversary of the Roundup.  Sign up for the Apart at the Seams book tour. Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between July 4th and July 11th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

July 11, 2014   16 Comments

501st Friday Blog Roundup

I am not a fan of applying sunscreen.  I’m a fan of sunscreen protecting our skin, but the application process sucks.  If I could hire someone to follow us around and rub in our sunscreen, I probably would.  I don’t like touching sunscreen, and you’re supposed to rub in even the spray sunscreens.  But the bigger issue is that my hands are so large and the twins’ faces are so tiny.  It’s hard to rub that sunscreen in when your thumb is the size of their entire cheek.

I use it because the alternative is so much worse than the annoyance of having white goop on my hands that won’t wash off.  I use it even though our skin is such that we’ve never gotten a sunburn.  I use it, but I don’t like it.  So I’m going to complain about it.

I am such a fan of long sleeves, long pants, and no sunscreen.  I am also unfortunately a fan of the beach.  They don’t always go hand-in-hand.

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Happy 4th of July if you live in America!

Or if you’re American but don’t live in America.

Or if you’re visiting America today.

I love watching fireworks, though I’m not a fan of big crowds or being too close to fireworks.  But we’ve found this hill where we can sit and watch them go off without needing to be around more than a handful of people.  It’s cozy.  It’s pretty.  And the sound doesn’t line up with the fireworks making it feel like a bad lip-sync.  I love it.

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DON’T SKIP THIS SECTION, SLACKER!

Time for your weekly nag:

This is just your friendly nudge to do your weekly backup.  I know, I know, who has the time to create backups on a weekly basis?  No one.  But you still need to do it and forgo ten minutes of something else, once a week.  Right now, before you do anything else, use this post to roll through a quick backup of your email, documents, images, blog, social media accounts, and mobile devices.  Reading the Roundup on the go and don’t have the ability to do your backup right now?  Email yourself a copy of the Roundup so that the email will serve as a visual reminder to get this task done.  Ten minutes of your time once a week may save you a major loss of time and data down the road.  Don’t have regrets.  So, on your marks, get set, back up!

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Persnickety Chickadee asks whether the family building journey will be worth it in the end.  She asks: “Am I over idealising the idea of children? Or at this point child?”  It’s an impossible question to answer because everyone will process it differently.  The reality of children for the most part fits my pre-thoughts on children.  For other people, the reality of children doesn’t fit their pre-thoughts on children.  And others claim to know how the reality of children is without experiencing children based on things they’ve observed or read.  And others came in with no expectations and therefore have no point of reference for what they thought before they had children.  And all of this adds up to the point that no one can help you decide or know what is best for you.  Which means anything people tell you about whether you’ll be happy or sad having children (or happy or sad having more children) is simply assvice that usually speaks more to their mindset than yours.  As I said in her comment section: “it really is a ‘your mileage may vary’ situation.  What is true for one person isn’t true for another.  I don’t see children as a hassle, but that is ME.  Other people see children as hampering their personal needs/wants.  And both are completely valid viewpoints.”

Constant in the Darkness has started the adoption process again, and it feels different this time around.  There are a lot of people’s feelings to consider beyond the usual three that come whenever you add to your family and already have one child.  She writes, “So once again, we’re wide open to what life is ready to throw at us.  It’s kind of scary.  It’s kind of exciting.  I’m trying not to think about it too much, really.”  Great post about how it is different the second time around.

A Woman of My Age has a post about watching her child ride a bicycle for the first time.  It’s a post about needing breathing space AND not wanting your child to grow up too quickly at the same time.  I think it will resonate with a lot of people.

Lastly, Muddy Boots and Diamonds has a post about Climb Out of the Darkness, an awareness campaign for perinatal mood disorders.  I love the symbolism of an upward climb paired with coming forward to talk about something difficult.  A beautiful post.

The roundup to the Roundup: I’m not a fan of sunscreen application.  Happy 4th of July!  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between June 27th and July 4th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

July 4, 2014   19 Comments

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