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Category — Friday Blog Roundup

681st Friday Blog Roundup

As self-predicted, I have become obsessed with the Wolvog’s VR headset.  I like the LifeVR movies, especially the ones where you’re underwater or the White House one, but I mostly want to just sit on the roof of the Cliff House and look at the floating islands.  That picture doesn’t really capture the whole scene, with the beach below and the perpetually blue sky.  But it gives a sense of the space.  I like to sit on the floor and look out at the scene.

Luckily, I have zero clue how to work the equipment, so I can only go on when he’s home and able to set it up for me.

We are still in the honeymoon period of the VR rig.  I heard the twins playing with it the other night, and the Wolvog slipped it over her head with a surprise.  “I am at Buckingham Palace,” I heard her start to shriek.  “There is a man standing next to me and OH MY G-D, I FEEL LIKE I’M IN LONDON AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE!”  And I smiled, internally predicting that at this time, next month, we will no longer be sweetly exploring the world together but rather snarling about something.

Enjoy it while it lasts?

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Not a personal blog, but the story is worth highlighting as it makes its way around the Internet.  An 8-year-old girl helped deliver her baby sister after also going through her parent’s miscarriages.  I love this story because infertility is sometimes a personal story or a couple’s story, but it can also be a family’s story.  And in this case, it was a healing moment for a girl who wanted another sibling.  The pictures made me burst into tears along with her, especially the one where the girl is crying with her hand over her heart.  Take the fact that I cried as a warning if you’re in a fragile place.

No Kidding in NZ got a chance to meet another IF blogger face-to-face.  I cracked up over (and second!) this: “I meet you all online, which is truly special, and I feel as if my life is much broader than it might be, simply because I chat with you all on a regular basis. That, it turns out, is the top factor contributing to longevity, so I thank you all in advance!”  I’m jealous because I’d love to meet both Mali and Valery.  Here’s to long life.

Infertile Phoenix has a post about her pediatrics unit at school.  The class is going to visit a NICU, and the professor mentions that the pregnant classmate may want to skip the visit because it can be upsetting.  She internally asks, “What about women who have lost babies? Wouldn’t the NICU be even more upsetting for them? We don’t know what everyone has been through. There might be someone sitting in that class who has had a traumatic experience in the NICU. But no one ever considers the infertile and baby loss population, do they?”  It’s a thought provoking post about the places where infertility and loss rears its head.

Lastly, Non Sequitur Chica has a post about their new cats (yes, plural!) with pictures.  I love this post because I spend a lot of time looking at more guinea pigs even though Josh has told me that we’re not getting another guinea pig.  Even though they’re so cute and they fill a hole in my heart.  But I digress.  The cats are really cute, and it’s a sweet story about their new family members.

The roundup to the Roundup: The VR honeymoon period.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 9th and 16th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

February 16, 2018   1 Comment

680th Friday Blog Roundup

The Olympics kicks off tonight… or… I guess they’ve already kicked off?  I’m a little fuzzy on the whole time difference thing since we only watch the prime time coverage.  I know you don’t see everything if you only stick to the nightly coverage, but I really miss how we used to have television “events” where you and the rest of the world were watching the same thing at the same time.  It still happens from time to time with things like the State of the Union or the Super Bowl, but it feels like those moments are few and far between.

Like I remember watching the season finale for Friends when Ross said Rachel’s name at the wedding.  Our windows were open, and a collective shout went out across the apartment complex at that moment.  We ended up spilling outside, laughing with our neighbours once we realized everyone in the complex had been watching the same television show at the same time.

But I digress.

We’re watching the Olympics at night, and we’re so excited.  So even though you can watch the Opening Ceremony early if you go online, we’re sticking to waiting and seeing it at the end of the day.  Because we’re all traditional like that.  Top favourite events: figure skating, skeleton, and luge.

What are your favourites?

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Carolyn Hax gave cryptic adoption advice this week, but Lavender Luz filled in the missing information, including the point that kids take their cues from adults, so if the adults are on-board with openness, the kids will usually follow suit.  As always, I love this point that Lori often highlights: “Just because you’re showing pictures and having the occasional visits doesn’t mean you’re open. It means you offer contact. But understand that contact ≠ openness.”

The Road Less Travelled discusses a spot that infertile and fertile women often find themselves in when they enter a different stage of life; eager for someone else (a family member or friend) to have a baby, though infertile women know that you cannot put pressure on another human to build their family.  In this case, it is her nephew and his wife who would like a baby but believe that it isn’t a good time for them to try.  She points out that she knows first hand how terrible it is to deal with outside pressure, “It was hard enough to deal with then, when we assumed we would be parents someday, at a time of our choosing. It became excruciating once it dawned on us that parenthood might not be a given after all.”

Old Lady and No Baby has a funny post about her twins and their imaginary friend.  Their individual imaginary friends share the same name — Papa — and are, of course, awesome.  The ChickieNob and Wolvog both had imaginary friends, and we still reminisce about Bronner from time to time.  I mean, I miss Bronner (and her imaginary friend, Ursula, since the ChickieNob’s imaginary friend had an imaginary friend), and she wasn’t even my imaginary friend plus she made my life very complicated.  But, you know, imaginary friends rock.

Lastly, I love Slaying, Blogging, Whatever’s letter to her children who are going through a difficult time.  Her words squeezed my heart and also make me feel calm, and her kids are very lucky to have such a thoughtful mum: “Things you think should be easy are not and things that are hard are harder than you thought. Growing up is hard. No matter what we have done to prepare you, it is never enough… especially if you see and react to the world differently. It can seem like an endlessly, rough road.”

The roundup to the Roundup: Olympics are starting!  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 2nd and 9th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

February 9, 2018   7 Comments

679th Friday Blog Roundup

I managed to spill an entire glass of water into my desk.  16 ounces of water, flooding the inner cabinet of my secretary desk.  Beyond the computer (which was miraculously fine), I store a shit ton of papers in my desk.  Post-it notes with “brilliant” ideas (cough), books, and notebooks.  Random LEGO characters.  Mala beads.  All of it swimming in 16 ounces of water.

I ran for paper towels while Linus “helped” by standing on his hind legs and watching as the water cascaded onto the floor, soaking the carpet.  It was a great moment; the highlight of my week as I peeled dripping post-it notes apart, trying to read the smudged writing.

I did manage to save maybe 500 post-it notes as well as some important papers that I decided to recopy so I had a clean, non-water-logged version.  That’s how I spent my week: recopying old notes.  Trying to decipher them.

Along the way, I found funny things the twins said as babies, a bunch of short story ideas that will probably never get written, and reminders to call people whom I haven’t spoken to in years.  There were notes that I made while negotiating a contract, and it made me so sad to see how much I undervalued my work once upon a time.

It was emotional archaeology, digging through a pile of fiber samples of things that at one point meant something to me.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Jewish IVF ponders whether to transfer more than one embryo.  Her research brings up a glaring hole in the arguments: “The thing is that the article educating against multiples is talking about first transfer success rates. Not sixth transfer. They’re not taking into consideration someone who has tried single transfers multiple times without results.”  It’s a tough decision coloured by more than their past results.

Andmom has entered the world of tweendom.  Due to the way their school system is structured, the 10-year-olds are around 13-year-olds; a big age spread.  She writes, “I’m just not ready, and I don’t think they are either, but apparently we’re all going to run out of the option of innocence soon.”  Me too.

Empty Arms, Broken Hearts points out that parenting doesn’t erase the feelings from infertility.  She explains, “I thought infertility would go away once I became a mother. Not that I would become fertile, but that the unfairness, the raw emotions of not being able to conceive and bear life, it would somehow lessen when children started calling me Mommy.”  But I love this post for the brilliant final line.

Lastly, Inexplicably Missing has a post about her clinic.  I do not want to ruin the effect by trying to describe the situation, but this line perfectly sums up the way my jaw dropped with the post: “I don’t know… it’s just… I feel a bit like… can someone just take this seriously please?

The roundup to the Roundup: Wish I had used a smaller cup.  (Or, 16 ounces of water is a lot of water.)  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 26th and February 2nd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

February 2, 2018   5 Comments

678th Friday Blog Roundup

I was really proud of myself this week, and since no one in my family is being effusive enough in their praise, I’m turning this over to the Internet.

I had a very clever idea, if I do say so myself, for a book display in the local library.  I asked Josh to tell the librarian my brilliant idea, but he suggested that I go there myself and TALK TO THE LIBRARIAN.  That needs to be in all caps because it is so completely scary that it’s as if he asked me to have a threesome with the clown from It.

I am not good at having conversations with strangers.

But I put on my big girl panties and marched (well, drove) myself to the library, bringing the twins with me for moral support.  I found the librarian and started telling her my plan (which sounded so much better before I had to describe it to someone), and at first she was nodding, confused, but by the end, she was nodding AND smiling AND agreed that my idea was clever.  (If you want to know, it involves tying Korean cookbooks to a play about Korean cooking… it’s a long story.  Trust me, it was clever.)  She is considering it, and promised that she would let us know if she decided to do it.

And then, yes, I am going to take a picture of the book display because I consider it more a paper monument to my bravery.

I spoke to a stranger, and I lived to tell the tale.  My nervous system was only buzzing for… oh… three hours afterward.  A win!

P.S. This is the part where you say, “Wow, Melissa, that was really brave.  That sounds just as scary as that video of the snake swimming around with the decapitated fish head.”

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Countingpinklines has a post about a lesson learned from infertility.  She begins musing on the acceptance you get from other people in the community who just get it (vs. stuff she was reading on STFU, Parents) and she writes, “I’d like to think that this is one positive thing that I’ve gotten from the last several years – there is not really one sole path to happiness or fulfillment. That and life throws a lot of stuff at you and sometimes all you can do is just grit your teeth and survive.”  Love it.

Unpregnant Chicken is celebrating her book launch; a children’s book explaining assisted conception.  That sounded very clinical, so I’ll let her speak instead: “Lucas wonders what it takes to make a baby. Mommy tells him that babies are made with a sperm and an egg but that some babies, like him, take extra. But what does it mean to be ‘extra’? This question launches Lucas into a day full of discovery.”  It sounds (and looks) very cute AND helpful.

The OCD Infertile had a bleeding scare, that luckily turns out to be okay, but I love the way she describes her state of pregnancy after infertility: “I longed to be a part of this ‘pregnant’ club but now that I am here I still don’t feel like I fit in because of the baggage I carry in with me. Like the Campetts moving to Beverly Hills. Here I come, with my rusted truck and rocking chair on the roof and lots of non-designer labeled baggage filled with all of my pain, fear, and past heartbreak.”  This is it — she captures it perfectly.

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ writes about the New Zealand Prime Minister, who didn’t have children but has since announced her pregnancy.  I love this post for her response at the end.  Her SIL is complaining that the PM kept her pregnancy a secret during the election, and Mali responds: “Well, isn’t it good that you’re not a New Zealander!”  It may need to be tweaked when I encounter whining in the future from those outside a community, but I’m totally borrowing a version of that.

The roundup to the Roundup: Super brave, right?  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 19th and 26th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

January 26, 2018   5 Comments

677th Friday Blog Roundup

I don’t do yoga on snow days.  I sleep in instead as a treat and get up when I would normally be finishing yoga.  Then I attempt to go through the rest of my day.  This is how that looks:

Morning: I’m going to make bread and soup for dinner.  I’m going to write three documents and complete dozens of small tasks.  I’m even going to get downtime in the afternoon!  I’m going to finish it off by finally scheduling some appointments.

Noon: My brain feels like mud.  I am not getting enough done.  I’m going to make the bread, but I’ll buy the soup.  I’ll be fine if I get one document done and complete the tasks.  And I can at least schedule the appointments.

Afternoon: I didn’t make the dough for the bread.  Fine.  I’ll buy the bread.  I’ll buy the soup.  At least I got two documents done and the tasks complete.  I haven’t made a single appointment, and I’m definitely not getting downtime right now.

Dinner: (Eating store-bought bread and soup) What happened?

Evening: I’m going to do better tomorrow.  I’m going to bed early, and I’m going to wake up and do yoga.  And then I’m going to power through things without taking a breath.

Night: We are totally on track to have lights out by 11 pm at the latest.

Midnight: Why are we still awake?

Rinse, wash, repeat because the snow keeps coming.  It’s like my brain becomes sludge any time my schedule is thrown off course.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Anabegins has a post that resonated with me, especially when you look above and see my own experience with spring winding.  (Or, I guess the times that my spring becomes kinked?). There is a part that stands out: “I also remind myself of all the things I shouldn’t be doing: no wine, no snacks, no phone in the evenings… It takes many turns of the spring to make sure I’ll keep moving all day.”  So there’s the to-do list, but there’s also the don’t list.  And what happens when they’re both equal in length and everything is looming over you?  Gives me food for thought.

NotMyLinesYet has a post about those cycles where bench warming has a silver lining.  I like this post because it’s aspirational.  Maybe sometimes an imposed break can be a good thing, and it takes an open mind to see that.

Lastly, Kmina’s mother died, and she writes about it in a brief post.  She is having a very hard time as she is still processing her father’s death.  Please circle the wagons and give her support.

The roundup to the Roundup: My brain becomes sludge the moment my schedule is thrown off-course.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 12th and 19th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

January 19, 2018   4 Comments

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