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Category — Friday Blog Roundup

529th Friday Blog Roundup

I learned about the Love Actualized set of questions from a New York Times article.  If you click on that link, you can play them from your phone or computer.  It’s 36 questions of increasing intimacy that you ask back and forth with another person such as your partner or close friend.  You start out talking about whom you’d like as a dinner guest, and you end up dissecting a problem you’re dealing with by asking advice.

All in all, it’s pretty interesting — both the other person’s answers AND the questions the creators thought would help you fully understand the other person.

So there you go: 36 questions to use in a conversation this weekend (and don’t forget the staring part at the end — read the article to understand that).  You’re welcome.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Not a Wasted Word has a post about decluttering her house and getting rid of the things she no longer needs.  While it’s necessary work, it’s also scary because in doing so, she is getting rid of things that were once very important to her.  And if they’re no longer important now, who is she?  She writes, “Letting go of so many things that I acquired in the pursuit of some creative expression and healing has been difficult. I’m not sure who I am, or more accurately, who I am becoming, and that is a terrifying prospect.”  It’s a great post about reflecting on a life.

Torthúil has a wonderful blogoversary post explaining why her blog means so much to her.  I love the 4 reasons why she keeps writing.  But moreover, I love the idea of the room under the carpet.

Kveller has a post about keeping frozen embryos even after you’re finished with family building.  She explains: “But each year, when this envelope comes in the mail (and the kids look like angels as they sleep), I start to wonder. What would it be like to add another miracle to our family? What would he or she look like? Be like? This annual bill makes us take the time to stop and think about our lives and our children and talk about our family and our future.”  It’s a wonderful post about the decisions we make.

Lastly, No Baby Ruth has a post about getting the first period after a birth, and the emotions and questions it stirs up.  Especially since this isn’t a first step to trying again.  Their family building journey is done, and it brings forth the “now what” sensation of having your relationship with your reproductive organs change.  A thought-provoking read.

The roundup to the Roundup: Questions to ask your friend or partner this weekend.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 16th and 23rd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

January 23, 2015   7 Comments

528th Friday Blog Roundup

The twins had to have their first real blood draw this week.  I put it off for a while because they were nervous, but I finally told them that it had to come off my to-do list.  It went better than expected, but I should probably add that my expectations were that we (1) would not actually get blood drawn because (2) they would flip out and (3) the phlebotomist would end up with a needlestick or bruised shins.

Blood was drawn.  The screaming (only one child flipped out) was over in about 30 seconds.  The phlebotomist was unharmed.  They got doughnuts afterward.

I asked them if it was as bad as they worried it would be.  The non-screaming child said it was pretty much what they expected.  The screaming child said it was so much worse than they thought it would be.  But all lived through the experience, and I got to check the box on my to-do list to boot.

But I’m really grateful that we don’t have to do this again (I hope) for a while.  It is really awful to see your kid that upset and worried.  It makes me feel like crap leading them in there, even though I know it’s something that they need to suck up and do.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Looking for a Little has a story about a spoon that has traveled great distance and time.  She explains how she feels when she sees this spoon in her drawer, which once belonged to her husband and is now waiting for her future child.  She has tucked the spoon away for the time being, but it’s a poignant post about how a tangible object can become the receptacle for a lot of emotion.

Unpregnant Chicken has a post questioning intuition after an exchange with a stranger makes her wonder if the child somehow knows something that she doesn’t know yet.  She admits: “I’ve had that sense before. That our child is waiting in the wings. Almost close enough to touch. Willing us to keep going.  I allow myself to linger in that thought for a moment. Allowing myself to imagine that this child’s intuition is right.”  It’s a post about finding hope exactly when she needs it most.

Earth & Ink has a hold-your-breath type post about becoming a blank slate.  Or, really, that her life has become a blank slate though she still carries her memories and personality over to this blank slate.  It’s a sobering question: what would you do with a start-over?

Lastly, My Path to Mommyhood catches a moment where she can see what her future child may look like as her husband yawns.  They have one more chance coming up but she writes: “somehow, seeing a little apparition of that baby-that-could-be in the middle of Home Depot really brought home the incredible loss that we are most likely facing, and how much mourning is buried inside me.”  It is a moving post in its rawness.

The roundup to the Roundup: We survived our first blood draw.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 9th and 16th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

January 16, 2015   12 Comments

527th Friday Blog Roundup

So I gave up my Hay Day farm… at least, temporarily.  My virtual farm replaced Candy Crush last year as my obsession-of-choice.  I took it up to the 70th level, opened all the fishing slots, bought all the machines, all the animals, all the crops, and gathered over $3 million in virtual coins and 300 diamonds.  By all intents and purposes, I “won” this unwinnable game.

I loved playing in the morning.  I loved waking up and greeting the river boat, filling the crates with the items I made overnight.  I loved gathering my crops and replanting the seeds.  I loved to collect all the gifts from my townspeople and fill their new orders.  All in all, waking my town up in the morning took about 20 minutes out of my day, and it was a happy 20 minutes where I felt like I was setting everything right in the world.  It was like a really relaxing virtual cleaning session, with a clear end-point, and it made me feel as if I had accomplished something before I started my day.

The gaming equivalent of starting the day with a clean email inbox.

But the night was a different story.  At night, I was constantly telling Josh that we couldn’t start something because I “just had to take care of my farm.”  I would predict a task to take me 5 minutes, but it was more like 10.  I had to clean up my farm from the day and get it ready for the next day, which could take anywhere from a half hour to… an hour.  Or more.  It was eating up my life.  And unlike the beginning, I wasn’t really enjoying it anymore.

So I told Josh that I was putting my farm to sleep for a few days.  Nothing would happen unless I opened the app (and I warned the kids not to touch it), and I didn’t plan to open the app until the weekend when I would give myself a little play time and then shut it down until the next weekend or so.

It has given me a lot of time this week.

I guess I’ve been looking at my time wasters — what am I doing that doesn’t really add to my life but I do it anyway out of habit or some thought that I “should” do it, etc.  Hay Day had gone from a game into a slog.  So it was out.

I’ve kept yoga, morning coffee, reading, and blogging.  I’ve cut out Hay Day, a bunch of non-personal blogs I was reading because I felt I “should,” and snacking after dinner.

Everything feels a little neater in the moment.

What are your time wasters?  Why haven’t you dropped them?

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Mojo Working is back with a brief post about acknowledging loss after everything changes.  It’s powerful in its simplicity.  I can’t say much more than that without ruining the effect of the words, so I’m going ask you to click over and let them speak for themselves.

Two Adults, One Child has a post about blogging which I think is particularly relevant to our community where burnout is common because of the high emotional content of our blogs (both writing and reading).  I like her approach on how to make blogging something that adds to her life instead of detract.  She can sum it up with one perfect sentence: “to use this space as it was originally intended — as an outlet for me to express my thoughts and feelings.”  But you’ll need to read the whole post to get the greater context.

Lastly, No Kidding in NZ has a post that I wish were pinnable to the front of Google.  And perhaps you can help me to push it up the Google ranks by clicking over to read and spread it around yourself so Google gets the message that we want people to be able to find it.  She goes through the emotions she experienced when she resolved her infertility by living child-free after treatments.  This piece is so powerful for someone who is in the throes of it; to see that things could get better even if the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t visible.  Her honesty about the length of time she went through the emotions is helpful as well.  Not everyone will experience the same feelings, but if they are feeling these things, this post will help them feel less alone.

The roundup to the Roundup: What are your time wasters?  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 26th and January 9th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

January 9, 2015   14 Comments

526th Friday Blog Roundup

Hello, very quiet Internet. Hopefully you’re recovering from yesterday’s festivities. Or non-festivities if you don’t celebrate Christmas.  As a bookend to the last post, break down your day into the following categories: high point, low point, best gift, delicious eat.

High Point: Time to read!

Low Point: Not enough hours in the day.

Best Gift: Bought myself “Hedwig’s Theme” as my new wake-up music for my phone alarm.  I was my very own Santa.

Delicious Eat: Appetizer-only dinner for Christmas Eve.

You go now.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Persnickety Chickadee went to Japan for Christmas, but before she left, she gave us a lovely post about the calendar circling around again.  She reflects on what has changed and what hasn’t come to fruition yet since her last trip to Japan.  I loved the jumps backward in time.

My Path to Mommyhood makes a fair point about the way the general public talks about genes.  She writes, “If we can talk about passing genes along so casually, then we should be able to talk about NOT passing those genes on equally as casually, no?”  It’s a great post.  Click over to read it from the beginning.

Lavender Luz writes about an exchange with her daughter, and how the way she first heard the words were not the way the words were maybe meant.  She explains, “I’ve lived on this planet — I’ve thrived on this planet — for a long time.  That’s not nothing; that’s not bad sense. In fact, my goal as her mom is that she do the same.”  I love the way the words twist in this post.

Lastly, Constant in the Darkness talks about how it is different waiting on the adoption list this time around.  I love this so much: “It’s not the ‘longing for another baby’ that’s eating away at me right now …  it’s the not knowing when this is going to happen that is.  It’s not a new baby that I’m craving, it’s this part of my life, the infertility, trying for a baby, when the hell is this going to be over thing that I really want to put an end to.”  You need to read the whole post to understand.

The roundup to the Roundup: High/Low/Best/Delicious Christmas (or Non-Christmas, as was the case for me).  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 19th and 26th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

December 26, 2014   17 Comments

525th Friday Blog Roundup

It’s Chanukkah. I’m actually really not a fan of Chanukkah in general. It’s sort of a nothing holiday that has been given inflated importance because it falls on the calendar near Christmas. There’s not a lot you do for it: light the chanukkiah, eat fried foods, maybe play a round of dreidel.  See, not that exciting.

On the other hand, it’s frustrating to have holidays that are very exciting (Purim) or very fun (Succot) or very moving (Yom Kippur) or very holy (Rosh HaShanah) or very important (Pesach) and have people have no clue what most of those holidays are or what they’re about.  You know?  The world has latched onto Chanukkah, and some Jews have gone along with that wave.  But I’m not feeling it.  It’s just not my sort of holiday.  I’m fine with candles, but I’m definitely not a fan of fried foods.  And dreidel I only enjoy when you get a top that gives good spin.

Sometimes I think I do the bare minimum with Chanukkah just because the world around me is shrieking at me to do more with it.  To make it something it’s not.

This holiday brings out my contrary side.

I promise I’ll be back to my usual sunny self by the next holiday, Tu B’shvat.  Just kidding.  I don’t like trees, either.  But I’m totally excited for Purim.

*******

Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Punch Drunk is back with a post lamenting that the blogosphere has changed.  And yes, it obviously has since everything changes, but on the same week that she posts this, Everyday Stranger returns with her Santa post.  A smart woman writing a smart post, and I love Santa’s point about antidepressants: “The pills only mute things, dearest. Even on mute, you are Someone.”  Two posts that drew me in.

A Half-Baked Life has a post about returning things and perfect gifts, and really, it’s about knowing yourself as much as it is about other people knowing you.  But I love this recounting of the perfect birthday gift, and how it makes her reflect on other gifts she has received over the years and her reactions to those that didn’t feel as if they fit.

The Bickerstaff Blog perfectly explains how she doesn’t spend all day thinking about her loss, but her loss affects her every day.  There are moments she feels sad and moments when she isn’t thinking about Malachi, but that loss paints the surface of her day-to-day life, the choices she makes, who she is at her core.  It’s a wonderful, brief post.

Lastly, Unpregnant Chicken has an amazing post about mourning a child who never was; a dream-child.  What it means to miss someone who was never here.  She explains: “When I miss a friend I can pinpoint the missing that I experience. I can vocalize it. People understand this missing, it’s real, tangible. I miss the coffee dates, the way they made a room light up, the soft hair on his cheeks… This missing is different. Slippery. Evasive. Unknowable.”  Go over and read the whole post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Not really a fan of Chanukkah.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between December 12th and 19th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

December 19, 2014   12 Comments

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