Category — Friday Blog Roundup

So.

Now I’m really late with this.  But I consider it all Lori’s fault because she’s a distraction.  Watch out if you swing by her blog because she will (1) turn you all healthy and then (2) give you mad coping skills and then (3) teach you something interesting.  And that will use up the hour you intended to write the Roundup.  Oh, though while you’re at her blog, you may want to wish her a happy fifth blogoversary and tell her about your own blogosphere kismet.

And now that I’ve vented that out of my head, I can return to watching this incredible video someone made of all of MCA’s first lines:

The first time I watched it, I was sort of grooving along. (My seat dancing had to keep switching tempo with each new line. It was hard. I feel like I deserve some type of recognition for my seat dancing skills.) And then at the end, when it faded out, it felt like Sirius falling back through the curtain in the fifth Harry Potter book. Where you want to grab the person and drag them back, and know full well that you can’t. Josh had a similar reaction except it was this desire to slow time once it hit Hot Sauce Committee Part Two and he realized that it would soon be over. There would be no future MCA-laden albums.

As much as I love Hot Sauce Committee, my heart is with Ill Communication.  It reminds me of college.  It feels like being in college when I listen to it.  We used to call my friend Ma Bell due to that album, and hearing it in this montage made me wish I had his phone number still; could grab coffee with him while we did our homework.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Please Ignore; or Infertility Revisited” (Park Slope Promised Land)
• “Sometimes You Love People Not Because, But Anyway” (Nuts in May)
• “In the Closet” (The Road Less Travelled)
• “Heal” (Searching for Our Silver Lining)
• “My Week of NIAW on FB” (Living Our Life in Cycles)
• “Infertility, Despair, Tarot Cards and Acceptance” (Fertility Doll)
• “The New It Girls” (Silent Sorority)
• “The Oleander & the Groves” (Bloodsigns)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Where Love and Chaos Reign has a post about stopping treatments.  She points out, “The thing is, there’s not much out there that talks about stopping treatments when you already have kids. There are blogs about living child-free, but most of the secondary infertility blogs at some point become pregnancy blogs again.”  Even if it hasn’t happened yet, they are still in an active state of fertility treatments, adoption or third party reproduction; even if they are currently in a pause or wait.  But few who write about making the choice to close the door on family building.  I both love the post and hope that others who are in a similar situation and seeking support will find each other and start to write more about this.

Birch and Maple has a post broken up by musical interludes about moving out of the world of infertility for her own sanity, as well as how she views herself.  Where this view of herself stems.  She admits: “So anyway, this week has been bad. I am drab, growing older. I find myself wanting to wear black all the time, a statement of intent, the declaration of feeling, the ease with which I don’t have to worry about trying to look decent. Alas, I do not have enough of it in my wardrobe.”  She describes her post as emo; I describe it as bittersweet.

And lastly, Single Infertile Female has a post about her friend’s newborn child that… well… let’s just say that it hit really close to home for me.  It probably will for you too.  She is holding him and writes, “I found myself whispering in his little ear ‘I really need to get one just like you…’ I caught Lindsey’s eye directly after saying it, having briefly forgotten she was even there while in my blissed out baby haze. And for the first time since he was born… I found myself fighting back the tears.”  It is the perfect post for explaining how someone can be unbelievably happy for another person while being simultaneously sad for themselves; in case you ever needed to explain this phenomenon to a good friend.

The roundup to the Roundup: Wish Lori a happy blogoversary and listen to MCA’s first lines.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 4th and May 11th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I had to go into the storage room this week to get our microscope because Christy gave me this really cool science project to try; extracting DNA from strawberries. (And it worked, it really worked!)  We bought this microscope in 2002 to examine my saliva for ferning.  I was in that time period before you actually get to the RE, but the appointment has been made, and you’re trying things such as green tea and Robitussin and spitting on slides.  I packed it up in 2003 and put it in the basement.

So I went down to get it from the basement and inside the box was my unopened Lego Harry Potter sorting hat set.  It has since been discontinued, but I bought two of them back in 2001, one that I left unopened and the other that I kept on my desk.  I liked to use it as an ice breaker when a student had to meet with me because, let’s say, they plagiarized their paper.  Before we spoke, I would have them spin it and see which house they were sorted into and then say something like, “huh… you got Ravenclaw… that’s really interesting because plagiarizing is a pretty bone-head move, and I think Rowena Ravenclaw would be pretty horrified with you right now.”

Oh sorting hat.

The thing is, I don’t know where the opened sorting hat is.  It’s probably also somewhere in the basement.  But that would mean opening up and unpacking dozens of boxes to find a small ziplock bag filled with Legos.  But part of me doesn’t want to open this second set… and I have no idea why.  I would never get rid of it. (Actually, who am I kidding.  If someone offered to pay the Wolvog’s college tuition, I’d part with it.)  We want to use it.  And yet instead of gleefully tearing off the top and setting it up, it has been sitting in limbo on the kitchen table since mid-week.

Would you let me sort you if I opened my Lego Harry Potter sorting hat?

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The ChickieNob cried this week because her brother started reading the same book she was reading.  They don’t have a lot of book crossover with the exception of the stuff we read together.  They both like biographies, but don’t want to read about the same people.  The Wolvog has read every Magic Tree House and the ChickieNob is more partial to Sister Magic and American Girl Doll books.  The ChickieNob has been making her way through the Junie B Jones series this spring, and this week, the Wolvog decided to read them as well.  And this is devastating to her.

I tried to explain to her the concept of a book club, and how people purposefully choose to read books together and discuss them.  She could not wrap her brain around this, and kept saying, “I would not like that at all.  Only one person is supposed to be known as the person reading the book.”  Daddy has erudite American history books, and Mommy has smutty 50 Shades of Grey, and the Wolvog has his Magic Tree House books, and THE CHICKIENOB CLAIMS THE JUNIE B JONES SERIES HANDS OFF.

I don’t know — would you rather be the only person around who has read a book (and feel special because of it?) or would you rather read a book as a group?

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Don’t Ignore” (The Misadventures of Missohkay)
• “Don’t Ignore: The Secret Life of the American Infertile” (Too Many Fish to Fry)
• “The Scar Remains” (My Life After Loss)
• “Just Ask” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Lori!

Okay, now my choices this week.

Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker has a post about the first time she breastfed her son after her son’s birthmother gave her the go-ahead in the hospital.  I really loved reading through the moment, feeling the power of that act through the screen.  She writes, “The first time I breastfed my son, I cried. It was perfect. He was perfect. He was my child. I was finally a momma.”  It’s a great post.

Breathe Gently has a post about how she was feeling after retrieval and the fertilization report.  It is a post about sinking into doubt and then finding a way out of it back into hope.  She writes of transfer: “Tomorrow we’re going to transfer an embryo, something that we created. It may stick, it may not, but we’re having a go. And isn’t this what the goal has been all along? To give ourselves, and our potential baby, a chance?”  I had a huge smile by the last line.

Multimama tells a story about why we shouldn’t judge others.  She admits about the new mother in her playgroup: “She was skinny and I, feeling fat in post-baby mode, felt a flash of jealousy. In that moment, and for no good reason at all, I made a whole set of assumptions–that she had gotten easily pregnant with the cute little boy at her side, that we wouldn’t have much in common.”  Of course, they do have a lot in common, though that wouldn’t have been discovered if she hadn’t set those preconceived notions aside.

Edenland has an amazing post about the changes afoot in her house.  I think it’s incredible to watch someone jump, to have them allow you to see that initial step.  And how breathtaking is this ending when they come home from their respective trips: “In Africa I bought myself a red wooden mask. In Mexico, Dave bought himself a green ceramic mask.  We then met each other back at home.  And took them off.”

Lastly, Family Building with a Twist has a post about her son’s first day at daycare.  I cried reading this post, my preschool woes still pretty fresh in my mind (my G-d, do y’all remember when I hid in the library?)  It’s a bittersweet post about your child growing up and inviting the rest of the world in.

The roundup to the Roundup: Should I open the Harry Potter sorting hat (and would you let me sort you)?  Do you like to be the only person reading a book?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 27th and May 4th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

There was a great post on BlogHer this week about behaving “like a girl.”  How people use the phrase in a derogatory manner (throw like a girl, cry like a little girl, run like a girl).  There is a wonderful part in the post where the mother looks at her daughter and points out all the things she’d like to do “like a girl.”

I hope someday I can fly a kite like a girl. And do kung fu like a girl. And draw like a girl. And you know what? I wish I could cry like a girl. You get it all out, and then you look for the next thing, bouncing back with amazing speed. You don’t do like me, hold it inside as long as possible, letting it fester, bringing me down for days. You are not bitter.

Isn’t that brilliant?  I thought about all the little girls I know from family and friends and Girl Scouts and volunteering.  And I started compiling this list in my head of all the things I’d like to do like a girl.  I’d like to climb like a girl.  And hold hands with my friends like a girl.  And go all-out for spirit week like a girl.  And I’d like to write like a girl really loving what I create.

What would you like to do like a girl?

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Passed Right By – And Never Knew” (Diary of a Mom)
• “Commitment” (Seriously?!)
• “N is for Negative Pregnancy Tests” (Clay Baboons)
• “IF is Like a Video Game” (Braving IVF)
• “Eating Humble Pie” (I Believe in Miracles)
• “The Other Thing I Wish I’d Fought Back About” (Bébé Suisse)
• “Breather” (Ginger and Lime)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Infertile First Mom asks “What’s In a Loss?” after her only IVF cycle is cancelled.  It is a loss, she points out, even if the child never had a chance to grow inside of her; a goodbye to the person she has been hoping to have in her life.  And she brings in other losses; such as her first child who she placed for adoption 13 years ago.  She writes, “Yes, it was by my own choice and some would say that that makes a difference… but I promise you it didn’t make the pain hurt any less, just because I made the decision. The ache that I’m feeling right now is similar to the ache I felt 13 years ago when I let go of my baby girl. It’s a deep, hollow feeling that screams and echoes and reverberates throughout my body.  The feelings are similar, I believe, because both were born of that maternal love that is an innate part me… and so many of you.”  It’s a gorgeous, aching post.

Being Jamie Lynn has a post about realizing it has been a year since she last cycled.  I love the opening: “It’s hard to write when you don’t really know what direction you are heading in.  I wouldn’t say I’m lost, it’s more like I’m wandering.”  It’s a post about taking a deep breath and taking a step forward, even without knowing where that step will take you.

Life and Love in the Petri Dish has a post about telling family members about the pregnancy.  One reacts by telling her about other people who have also had a “difficult time” conceiving.  And her mother takes the opposite approach, reining herself in on asking about the specifics and instead just enjoying the big picture moment.  I loved the juxtaposition of the two different ways that two different people accepted and processed the information.

Lastly, there were so many good “Don’t Ignore” posts for NIAW this week.  I loved Life Without Baby’s post about not ignoring the option to resolve your infertility by living child-free.  She points out a reality within infertility: “In many ways, there’s a perception that infertility is never an insurmountable obstacle to a family, and that there is always a next step available. In theory, that’s somewhat true, but in practice, it’s never as simple as that, and many us find that we reach the end of our emotional or financial paths long before we exhaust the list of family building options available to us.”  She agrees that child-free is not an option that fits everyone, but that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t have the same support in place (or be discussed) as much as all the other ways people resolve infertility.  A great post.

The roundup to the Roundup: What would you do like a girl?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 20th and April 27th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard about the shooting in Dallas.  Verna McClain approached Kala Golden as she was carrying her three-day-old child to her car and shot her to death, snatching the newborn from his dying mother’s arms and driving away.

As the article states:

Ligon said McClain’s statement to investigators indicates that she shot the mother as part of a wider plan to kidnap any child and that Golden was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“There were statements as indicated in the arrest record that were made by Ms. McClain that led us to believe that, in fact, this was an intentional act on her part,” Ligon said. “Not that Ms. Golden was targeted specifically, but that this was part of a plan to kidnap a child.”

For a few days, they hadn’t released the reason for the intentional act.  But, of course, we all already knew that the choices were infertility, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death.  Because that is the reason always given; it fulfills one of the media’s regular roles for women who have experienced infertility or loss.  We are either selfish, desperate, or murderers.

The reason was released on Thursday: miscarriage.

The headline says that she “Has an Excuse You Won’t Believe.”  Except I will believe it because it’s pretty much always the reason given when we have one woman murder another woman and there is a baby involved.  Like, for instance, this one about another infertile woman who wants to steal your baby.

For once, I’d like to find an article that talks about how damaging our lack of ability as a society to discuss loss and empathize with people who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death can be.  One that points out that baby stealing is the extreme, but closer to home are millions upon millions of women and men who are unable to talk about their loss due to the not-so-subtle ways society tells them to shut up and suck it up.  I don’t know; one that doesn’t sensationalize loss but instead points out how common it really is.

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This week, I was sucked into several hours of “school” — by which I mean I and 26 stuffed animals all learned how to write and speak Chickatanian, the ChickieNob’s made-up language.  And just when I had hit my saturation point, thinking about the tofu fried rice I wanted to make downstairs for the love of G-d, I would be told that I now needed to go to room 1 (Chickatanian is taught in room 3) and learn all about apps, cars, and new computer products created at the Wolvog’s imaginary computer company (did you know that they have 50 factories and employ thousands of people?  Well, did you?).  Sometimes Josh would call during school and I’d whisper into the phone, “save me.”  But that’s the point: no one could save me.  It was like Misery, except with less Annie Wilkes and typewriters and more small children reminding me that they could always send me to see Mrs. Twiskers, the principal.

When I first heard the principal’s name, I assumed that they were saying Mr. Whiskers, our cat of earectomy fame.  But no, this was Mrs. Twiskers, and she was not invisible as I had originally assumed since… you know… there were only three people in the house.  The part of Mrs. Twiskers was being played by the knob on the bathroom door.  Though I was assured that she was a stern principal who would not deal with my nonsense.

Wanting to make tofu fried rice is not nonsense.

Save me.

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The real start of MFA Sunday School is this weekend.  A lot of people answered my request for topics, so I’m still sifting through that.  But I’ve written the first few lessons.  How to find time to write, character development, getting through writing obstacles and rejection.  So excited to be writing about writing again.  See you on Sunday morning with that.

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We’re at the midway point for The Analogy Project.  Have you written your analogy?

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 And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Finding Your Tribes” (The Smartness)
• “Baby Loss and the Pain Olympics” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Kathy!
• “2012 Book Spine Poem Gallery” (100 Scope Notes)
• “Baby Clothes in my Attic and Hope in My Closet” (A Blanket 2 Keep)
• “Real Success Stories” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Happy Easter and a Visit with Gabrielle” (Adrift on a Dandelion Breeze)
• “Normal” (Littlemanbig)
• “Sestina” (Where Love and Chaos Reign)
• “Lessons Learned” (From IF to When)
• “Titanic – Part II: Haven Exploration” (Bereaved and Blessed)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Something Out of Nothing has a beautiful post about her mother who died two years ago.  Every single paragraph is verbal love, the words carefully chosen and arranged to honour a life.  She writes of her grief over the loss: “Not for the memory of my mother, all that remains of her now and what I will carry with me the rest of my life–the birthday cakes and French braids, homemade dresses and school plays.  What I mourned, even in those first moments, was what will never be.  My mother never holding my child in her arms.”  It’s an amazing post.

A Half Baked Life has a post about The Listserve and the responsibility the owners need to bring to the project, especially as they tread on emotional territory.  The question becomes who is responsible if the listserve devolves into name calling or hate speech?  Bringing in an example of allowing her five-year-old to use her stand mixer, she concludes: “But maybe the analogy is more appropriate when conceived this way: the makers of the stand mixer, which is a tool, are not responsible for the quality of my cake, or for my five-year-old’s fingers.  I also think that the responsibility rests on the users.  After all, they’ve signed up for this experience.”  Food for thought.

Glow in the Woods contains a gorgeous post by Mrs. Spit about grief being a form of magic.  Always a great writer, Mrs. Spit weaves the time of day — the gloaming — into a play on words over the simple phrase: “see, magic.”  It’s one of those posts that are so carefully constructed that they defy description: you just need to experience it.

Lastly, A Woman My Age has a post about the woman she thought she’d become vs. the woman she became.  This thought sent chills down both arms; it is so so so brilliant: “So now when I feel a wash of sadness for not ever being one of “those” women wearing size 4 Lululemons with a baby in a sling and a toddler in tow driving a Volvo through a cute part of town, I remind myself  that I have never been the other woman.  I have just wasted a lot of time wishing I was.”  Now go read the whole post.

The roundup to the Roundup: A tragic murder gets explained via miscarriage.  I have become a student again.  MFA Sunday School kicks off this weekend.  Don’t forget the Analogy Project.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 13th and April 20th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Okay, last thoughts on food.  I am seriously fascinated by the various ways we think about the things we put in our mouths.

That just sounded dirty.

Lori raised a good point: what is the definitely of a foodie?  Is it only the food consumer, or is it also the food preparer?  Can you be a foodie if you like to prepare food, but you don’t like to eat it?  Obviously, you could be a foodie if you consumed food but never prepared it.  But could you call a chef who doesn’t take great pleasure in consuming food a “foodie?”

I guess I’ve always seen the word as solely a term for the consumer of food and not the preparer.  My view point is obviously skewed because I make a lot of food I don’t consume.  First and foremost, I cook meat and I’ve never tasted it.  I judge its doneness based on temperature and look.  So far, unless everyone is lying to me and just enduring my cooking, it’s working well.  I guess how things taste based on smell, and I create new recipes for meat accordingly by pairing together ingredients that just smell “right” with one another.  Or I follow another person’s recipe.  Ina Garten hasn’t steered me wrong.

I also love baking and candy-making; both activities bring me great pleasure.  But I often don’t eat what I make.  I gave up sugar a few months ago so I didn’t, for instance, consume anything that I made for Purim.  They seemed to bring other people great oral pleasure (unless, of course, they’re lying to me), but I had no desire to taste any of it.  I see the act of preparation as very separate from the act of consumption, though I know this isn’t the case for other people.  I enjoy cooking, I enjoy baking, I enjoy making up new recipes and I enjoy giving food to other people; but I don’t always enjoy consuming the products that I just enjoyed preparing.  I make them because their preparation makes me happy and giving them away seems to make other people happy.  And I totally get that it brings someone else happiness, but consuming these things would not make me happy.

I would never describe myself as a foodie, because I see a foodie as a willing, open-minded receiver.  And while I’m a willing, open-minded giver, I am absolutely not a willing, open-minded receiver of even my own preparations.

What do you think?  Is foodie only the consumer or does it also apply to the preparer when the two are mutually exclusive?

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A few years ago, I wrote an eleven-part series on getting a book published. (You need to unfortunately read it from the bottom up since the top post is the eleventh or final post.)  A bunch of people told me that it was helpful, and I’m obviously still open to answering any questions as you try to get a book published.  But book publishing is a pretty small part of getting an MFA.  The much larger focus is on becoming a better writer, and part of that is trying your hand at various exercises.  I think there is a lot of common, usable good that can come from an MFA program especially in regards to blog writing and building a blog, but it’s a pretty inaccessible degree.  Unless you get a fellowship, it’s an expensive degree in the sense that it isn’t easy to make back the money spent.  And not many writers have the time to commit to finishing a writing degree.

So I’m offering it for free.  The contents of my brain and seven straight years of workshop.  Oh, and the experience I’ve had as an editor of two literary magazines, writing professor, two books, and a handful of published poems.  I’m not the only one for the job — there are far better writers on the Internet and I’ll be yanking them in here from time to time — but I am the one who is offering up all this content and all my connections for free.  And hey, free is good.

I’m calling it MFA Sunday School because I’ll post on most Sunday mornings.  If you don’t want to follow along, skip that first post on Sundays (since I have a tendency to also write my own thoughts about life on Sundays as a warm up for other writing).   If you do want to follow along from home, you can either read the post on Sundays or read the post at your leisure.  Collect them up in your Google Reader and do the exercises in your spare time.  The comment section of the posts will be for people to post a link to their own work (due to length, I’m going to ask people to post on their own blogs and then just leave a link that people can follow back to your space.  Unless you don’t have a space on the Web, and then feel free to post the whole piece of writing) and they will be open indefinitely.

MFA Sunday School will cover the basics of poetry — free form and fixed form.  The basics of short story writing.  How to dissect fiction and then use what you learn to enhance your own work.  How to develop a novel.  How to write creative non-fiction.  How to look at your own work with a critical eye.  How to submit to literary magazines.  How to pitch to editors.  How to form a relationship with a writing partner and look at each other’s work with a critical eye.  Critique of query letters.  And any other topics you’d like to know about that are usually covered in an MFA program.

This Sunday, I can post a formal opening to the project and take votes on topics.  That post would be the one where I’d ask everyone who plans to participate to introduce themselves so people could find writing partners via the comment section.

BUT I would like to know now if this sounds interesting to you, if you think you’d want to drop in and out depending on whether or not the topic of the week resonates with you (see, another good part about a free online MFA course — you don’t have any required credits to complete).  If this idea doesn’t resonate with you, there is no need to write these posts.  I already have the information in my brain.  But I like connecting with people who like to write, who want to write better, who want to understanding the process of writing, who like words and want to play with them.  So if you’re game, let me know and we can get started this Sunday.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Pain Olympics” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Being Counted” (Stirrup Queens) – thank you, Lori!
• “The Little Fertility Clinic that Could and Almost Didn’t” (The Infertility Voice)
• “Biting the Hand that Feeds Me” (Project Progeny)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Hobbit-ish Thoughts and Ramblings has a fun post that made me think about how feelings towards characters change over time (and while all of you are not characters, I think the same can apply for bloggers themselves).  She admits that while she didn’t like Ginny Weasley that much at first, the character grew on her over the course of the Harry Potter series and later became her favourite.  I tried to think of places where this has happened.  Can you think of any?  Go over and let her know — it’s fun to consider.

The latest post in the Faces of ALI series on Too Many Fish to Fry is a moving portrayal of one of my favourite bloggers.  It is exactly the type of story we wish the media would cover.  I love how Loribeth isn’t presented as solely an infertile woman — she is so much more than her uterus.  She is a historian, a memory keeper, a family member.  I cried when Loribeth called her mother after Katie’s death as well as the realizations she had holding her daughter.  It’s a gorgeous post — well-written and important to read if you want to understand how infertility affects a life.

My Life in a Nut Shell has a post about not feeling like herself.  She is currently pregnant again and holding her breath after prior losses.  She writes, “I just wish that I could find myself again and have this pregnancy be something I’m experiencing rather than it being who I am.”  It’s a moving post about losing who you are and hoping you can find yourself again.

Nuts in May has a great post about different ways of handling emotions, utilizing the term sidler to great success.  It is a look into the marriage of a compartmentalizer and a dealer (one who likes to deal directly with the issue), and what happens when the two attempt to communicate.  She sums it up perfectly here: “It’s all very well saying I can vent on the internet and get all those lovely supportive comments to make me feel better. You, Gentle Readers, do make me feel better. But you’re not very cuddly, and your neck doesn’t smell faintly of sandalwood and citrus, and you don’t make me tea.  And anyway, I like the feeling that the inside of my head is of some interest to my spouse. It’s not a feeling I’ve had for a good while. And I like the feeling that care and consideration of the spouse’s state of mind is reciprocal, not a one-way street.”  Go read the whole thing.

Lastly, Destined to be an Old Woman with No Regrets has lessons learned from an argument with her toddler, with ideas that apply to so many interactions in life.  I’m going to make you go over to read the whole situation, but I love the point she makes at the end: “At first my reaction was, ‘Ha! I won’. But that really wasn’t it at all. In the end, we both won, simply because we listened to each other. She got to make a choice and I got to set the parameters that would ensure not only that she was safe, but that I made it home in one piece physically and emotionally.”  Great lesson.

The roundup to the Roundup: What is the definition of a foodie?  Want to participate in MFA Sunday School?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 6th and April 13th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.