Category — Friday Blog Roundup

The Wolvog has always like to collect discarded electronics, and he has an impressive collection of blackberries, cell phones, calculators that he fools around with.  One of his favourites is an old iPod that my sister gave him years ago when she upgraded.  About a year ago, it ceased to work, so we took it to the Genius Bar to humour him (the thing was ooooooooooooold.  Like 89 in iPod years) where they deemed it officially dead and asked him if he’d like to buy an iCoffin… I mean… recycle it.  No, he snapped, his iPod was NOT dead, despite all evidence to the contrary.

Fast forward to this week when the Wolvog wandered into the room, grinning.  “Do you remember my green iPod?”

“The one we threw out?” I asked.

“We didn’t throw it out,” the Wolvog told me.  “I’ve been trying to get it started again.  And tonight, I succeeded.”

Cue loud crash of thunder and a bolt of lightening outside while my son devilishly wrings his hands like a mad scientist and pulls out the zombie iPod.

We are calling it Frankenpod, since it indeed has been brought to life despite the fact that the Genius Bar employees were unable to do so.  The Wolvog downloaded his music into it and spent the night with his incredibly outdated piece of electronic equipment, chillaxing with the Beatles.

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaah… Frankenpod is ALIVE!

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Fitnessgrams: the Latest in Fat Shaming” (Family Building with a Twist)
• “How the Cheerios Commercial Got it Wrong” (Three Geminis and a Sagittarius)
• “A Welcomed Comment” (The Koob Triplets)
• “The Very Bad Time” (Little Chicken Nuggets)
• “Ghosts and Fairy Tales” (Stupid Stork)
• “Departed Denver Discouraged” (Dreaming of Dimples)

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Adventures of MissOhkay has an eye-opening (and heart-stopping) post about her child’s picture showing up on a Pinterest board called “Things I Love that are Black.”  She so eloquently points out: “To a stranger, though, Miss E has none of that. She is flat. Without context. To a stranger, she is just an attractive thing that is black. Er, brown. And I don’t want her viewed that way.”  Read the whole post, especially if you pin things or post images.

So Close has a thought-provoking post on what we owe our parents as they age, and, in turn, what expectations we should have if we have children.  She explores the “what if” of their behaviour colouring the choices we make too, and the fact that all parents are not created equally.  Should a parent who does a crappy job parenting be taken care of “just because?”  It’s an interesting discussion.

Lastly, Misfit Mrs has a post about being back at square one after a failed cycle.  I love how it moves from the sigh to the boob jeggings.  Yes, the boob jeggings.  You may want to click over and read the whole thing — it’s that good as a post that captures the everyday.

The roundup to the Roundup: Frankenpod.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between June 7th and June 14th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Josh really wanted to join 2013 and get a DVR.  We… uh… still have a VHS.  When a deal came up through our television provider, he asked if we could take one home, much in the same way little boys ask for puppies.  So we got a DVR.  And he set it up.  And then I stopped sleeping.

You may think that I stopped sleeping because we suddenly had all of these amazing shows to watch.  No, that wouldn’t be the case.  The first night after he set up the DVR, it took me about two hours to fall asleep.  This isn’t that unusual, and I blamed it on Candy Crush (shouldn’t we blame everything on Candy Crush?) getting me frazzled before bed with level 34.

The next night, I was sleep deprived, so it shouldn’t have taken me long to fall asleep.  But it did — an hour — and then I couldn’t stay asleep.  I woke up three or four times.

The next night, I was ill and sleep deprived, so sleep should have come pretty much immediately.  But again, long time falling asleep and then I couldn’t stay asleep.

Finally, on Wednesday night, I was still awake at 4 am.  I hadn’t been able to fall asleep yet.  I woke up Josh, close to tears, and asked him to do something about the awful DVR which was casting this bizarre glow over the room.  The light from the number display had been keeping me awake for days.  So he threw a towel over it for the time being and fiddled with the brightness setting.

The glow from all of these devices is killing me.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “What Do Teens and Elderly Women Have in Common Beyond Commentary about their Uteruses?” (Stirrup Queens)
• “Conflict Online” (Lavender Luz)
• “Dear-Me-from-999-Posts-Ago” (Stumbling Gracefully)
• “The Reality of Breastfeeding” (PAIL Bloggers)
• “Not Riding the Roller Coaster” (Stirrup Queens)
• “Dealing with the Naysayers” (Too Many Fish to Fry)
• “On Defining Myself” (Sprout)
• “Mother” (Baby Smiling in Back Seat)
• “Our No Kidding Lives” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “Deep” (Cullen’s Blessings)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Notes from the Ninth Circle has a post about a viral Huffington Post piece that mentions that the author is parenting after infertility.  In fact, he even links to a post about infertility in the original version on his site.  But when the post was reprinted on the Huffington Post site, that link got stripped.  It’s the frustration that this big part of the story is being left out.

Serenity in Chaos has a very powerful post about how her infertility experience inadvertently affected a friend who came after her.  She writes: “Unfortunately she experienced a miscarriage and because I had sort of “silenced” them through my experience to say nothing more than those words above, my friend got quite angry at the lack of support at that time. She told me afterwards that she felt robbed of the sympathy.”  The post highlights the unique way we deal with (and seek comfort) when facing infertility.

Lastly, Something Out of Nothing has a post about encountering an infertile woman in literature: “It once again left me wondering, where is the real story, our story, in popular media?  We are the strong, brave women, who live every day outside the bounds of what is considered “typical” to pursue our dreams of a family.  Aside from our blogs, which seem to be read mostly by people in similar situations, who is writing (and reading) our stories?”  It also has a cool side story about two sensory activities.

The roundup to the Roundup: The glow of electronics is keeping me awake.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 31th and June 7th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Facebook sent me a note on Thursday congratulating me on hitting 700 likes on Facebook. (I’m well aware that by writing this, most of you will quickly unlike me, sending that number plummeting.  But I got to risk it.)  That rocked, but I did nothing.  I mean, I literally did nothing.  Other people clicked a button.  Shouldn’t they get the congratulations?  Why do we only congratulate the person who got the button clicks?  Why don’t I receive a similar note from Facebook saying, “congratulations, Melissa, you’ve now liked x-many things!  You rock in your liking.  You’re a great liker.”

I do think of myself as a good liker.  I’m a passionate liker.  The things I like, I like a lot.  I care about ice cream flavours and books and people and islands.  I like things with my whole heart… no… with my whole BODY.  I may only click a button on Facebook to show that like, but what I mean by that click of the button is that I LIKE it.  Shrieking it, rolling around with it, hugging it to my body.  That’s what my like means.

Where is the congratulations letter for that?

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Too Many Fish to Fry has a really cool idea, especially for summer.  Trying to reach a goal and have no idea how to make a dream a reality?  Join along because there is strength in numbers.

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I just discovered Candy Crush.  I mean, I heard other people talk about Candy Crush, I saw it pop up in my Facebook feed as other people played it, but I hadn’t actually seen it myself.  And then… and then… I downloaded the app.  And now… I’m candy crushing.  I am crushing my work so I can get back to Candy Crush.  Every time I complete 30 minutes of editing, I allow myself one level.  Oh my G-d, I love this game so hardcore.  Help meeeeeeeeee.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “A Very Special Visit” (Life in the Last Frontier)
• “Hear Me, That’s All I Ask” (No Kidding in NZ)
• “The Important Thing about Yelling” (Hands Free Mama)
• “What Does Society Have in Store for My Mixed Race Daughters” (The Blessed Barrenness)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Bereaved and Blessed as a photo that is worth 1000 words.

Pepibebe has a post about being labeled infertile.  After worrying that the doctor would put up a fight because the normal number of insemination cycles is 12 and the author has only done 11, she is stunned to get her referral with the label of primary infertility.  She has a conversation with her wife on the ride home: “I commented to Toku on the drive home that I wasn’t very happy seeing that written in black and white. She asked what I would have preferred, and I said for him to write ‘Unlucky so far.’ She drily remarked that diagnosis wasn’t very likely to get us any publicly funded IVF.”  What can I say?  I like her label better too.

Unconceivably Blessed has a post about holidays serving as a reminder of who isn’t here yet.  She writes, “It made me realize how many holidays, family functions, vacations, or other occasions I have not fully enjoyed because of where I thought we would be in our family building journey at that time. How many times and ways I have imagined telling my husband or family and friends that we are expecting.”  I love the last two paragraphs; that idea of turning off your brain and trying not to see the world this way.  It’s difficult.

Lastly, The Bickerstaff Blog has a post about having to give up a dream position due to reality.  When the opportunity finally rolls around to grade the AP exam — a longtime goal — she’s unable to take it because she’s finally achieved her other long-standing goal: parenthood.  It’s the bittersweetness of living in a world where we’re told we can have it all, and then having reality step in.

The roundup to the Roundup: I’m a great liker.  Project Dreamcatcher.  I am being candy crushed.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 24th and May 31st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I was vacuuming on Wednesday, and I managed to tip over a lamp, shattering it.  No one came up to see if I was okay, because… you know… it was only a loud crash and then the sound of spraying glass.  No biggie.

I came downstairs and told the twins and their friend what happened, and then set out to clean up the mess.  I picked up the big pieces and the rest of the lamp, and dragged it through the room they were all in so I could put it in the garbage outside.  In doing so, I cut my foot on some of the glass and commented that I was bleeding, and they dully called out, “sorry that you’re bleeding” as I limped through their scintillating game of ponies.

And then, a half hour later, during dinner — which was late due to the lamp incident — I commented that we’d have to go out to get a lamp that night and the Wolvog said, “whoa, why are we buying a lamp?”

Am I talking to the air molecules?

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Josh ended up picking up the lamp.  The man at the store told him it was six feet tall.  He assembled it.  It definitely wasn’t six feet.

In the middle of the night, I got up to pee, and when I came out of the bathroom, I gasped and jumped backwards.  At first I thought there was a very petite and skinny man in our room.  Then I thought there was an emaciated dragon.  Then I remembered that we had a new lamp.  Then I went back to sleep.

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There is still time to join along for the first book of the GRAB(ook) Club.  We’re discussing on June 13th.  And if you can’t join that one, hop on for one of the later ones in the summer:

• June’s Book: Measure of Love by Melissa Ford (discuss on June 13)
• July’s Book: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (discuss July 18)
• August’s Book: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (discuss August 15)
• September’s Book: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (discuss September 12)

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My brother had some fantastic writing advice on his blog this week, and it has nothing to do with what you put down on the page or the amount of times you tweet each week to build your platform.  It has everything to do with how you treat other people; not the ones that you think you can get something from, but the ones that you treat well along the way just because.  Those usually turn out to be the ones who make the biggest difference in whether you make it out of the slush pile or not.

Frankly, the idea to “remember Joe” is good advice for life in general.  Not to focus on some people while ignoring others; since it’s usually the ones that you ignore who turn out to be the most important.

By the way, he’s been on both sides of agenting and editorial, and he takes publishing and writing questions if you have them because he’s nice.  In fact, sometimes when you ask me something, I, in turn, check with him.

Plus he gives really really good editing notes.  Like he just did for Apart at the Seams.  I could not write without him, even though I do remember the Joes.

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Speaking of which, the winner of the Measure of Love e-book giveaway is…

drumroll please…

Dora from My Preconceived Notion.  Congratulations!  I will be emailing you today.

I will hopefully have another copy to give away soon.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Did I Do That?” (MoJo Working)
• “May the Miscarriage Be With You” (Stupid Stork)

Okay, now my choices this week.

River Runs Dry has a post about having it all… except not really.  It starts with her desire to be a CEO in the future, and ends with her thought of leaving behind that goal.  I love this thought: “it’s a matter of focus. Focusing on what’s needed in the here and now. If that means my career takes a backseat in the coming years so I can focus on other things, then so be it.”

Mine to Command has a post about challenging herself as well as accepting her limitations, which is applicable to so many facets in life.  The post happens to be about running, but she brings it around to babymaking by the end.  I hope she gets pregnant this cycle because the repetition of that number would make for a good story.

Old Lady and No Baby has a post about the talk she gives her softball team before prom.  In years past, she has focused on drugs or alcohol, but this year, the topic was sex and it ran the gamut from pointing out that the pressure has been there for every generation (“Those types of pressures haven’t changed, they have simply become more acceptable.  We HAVE been in their shoes and we DO understand how hard it is.”) to her own personal experience with infertility and loss.  I sort of wish she traveled the country and gave her talk to all teenagers.

Lastly, My Lady of the Lantern has a post about being kind to herself.  I love this part: “But I seem to have developed a habit of looping and repeating the negative experience in my mind till something else comes up. I began taking hurt too personally, and kept it close.”  Me too.  Oh my G-d, and this: “This family drama is jelly. You can press it and take it to any shape.”  Great post.

The roundup to the Roundup: I mostly talk to the air.  Not too late to join the online book club.  My brother’s great writing advice.  The winner of the Measure of Love giveaway.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 17th and May 24th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I paid the twins 50 cents each to try root beer.  I have no idea why it was so important to me that they like root beer.  All I know is that we started at $100 for one taste, and we bargained it down to 50 cents.  And then they tasted it.  The ChickieNob loved it.  The Wolvog said it was okay and he’d try it again in the future.  And I let out the breath I’ve been holding for eight years.

Next up… root beer floats.

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“How are you doing?” my friend asked.

Doing.

It’s funny because I was talking to Josh about this idea of not doing.  Why do we always want to know the action taking place in a person’s life?  What about the negative action; the non-action?

I keep thinking this day will come around where we’ll have nothing on our plate and we’ll just chillax.  When I talk about the summer, I talk about sitting on the Bay beaches, reading books.  Getting ice cream.  Riding our bikes.  We’re going to the ocean a few times and driving up to my sister’s house.  Though I have no idea how we’re going to fit all of this in with all the other things that need to get done.  I keep talking about this day when everything will be off my plate, but that day seems to be permanently a few weeks away.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Mother’s Day When a Friend is Struggling” (Funny Little Pollywogs)
• “Why I Hate Mother’s Day” (Mojo Working)
• “Happy Whatever” (The Bloggess)
• “Happy Mother’s Day” (Hidden Infertility)
• “The Other Mothers” (A Half Baked Life)
• “Hope” (Teach Me to Braid)
• “Hold On” (Mrs. Spit… Still Spouting Off)

Okay, now my choices this week.

I also loved Teach Me to Braid’s post about medicinal hope (see above).  I especially loved this line: “I need a dose that’s big enough to count as positive thinking but small enough that the side effects won’t leave me incapacitated if this cycle’s a bust.”  If only this could be real.

Something Out of Nothing has a post about the Mother’s Day that didn’t end on Sunday but followed after her during the week, tapping her on her shoulder.  She writes, “She was just trying to be polite–probably–but it was one of those moments that stung.  The assumptions.  The invasiveness of a question that seems, on the surface, so innocent.  Not having the ‘right’ answer.  I wonder if she noticed my moment of hesitation.”  Plus, I love the song she ends with.

Battlefish has a note to her mother on Mother’s Day, the first one where she is a mother where she doesn’t have her mother.  I cried hard at this line: “You were just supposed to be here.”  It’s the wish inside the truth.

Lastly, the Barrenness has a post about playing ostrich with Mother’s Day, and it is a gorgeous post about an unexpected moment at church — a must-read for anyone who addresses large, diverse groups in order to understand how small actions can make big differences.  She writes, “When they called for all the mothers to rise, it was like a fortress suddenly popped up all around me.  Like these bodies all suddenly formed deep thick walls; I was shaken, physically and began to fight back a swell of tears, I felt so ostracized.”  And I need to say how much I love her for saying what she said to the aunt.  It was perfect.

The roundup to the Roundup: The twins tried root beer.  How are you doing?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 10th and May 17th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.