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The 2013 Creme de la Creme List is Now Open for Submissions

by Mel

It is the eighth anniversary of the little Creme de la Creme, and it is fitting that we open it on Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness day. Words can light a figurative candle. 156 bloggers participated last year. If this is your first time hearing about the project, this post should tell you everything you need to know. If you’ve participated in years past, you know how much fun the list is when its revealed on January 1st. So, I hereby declare the 2013 Creme de la Creme list open.

I know this is loooooong, but please read this whole post before submitting your entry.

If you didn’t read or participate in this list in 2006 or in 2007 or in 2008 or in 2009 or in 2010 or in 2011 or in 2012, the impulse behind this list are the ubiquitous award ceremonies that crawl out of their hiding spaces usually around December or January. Awards are nice — it’s good to honour someone and mark big accomplishments. But we all have a best post tucked into our archives. We all have words that have moved another person or ideas that have kicked off a series of musings. Bloggers are writers, and all of us deserve to be celebrated.

And we’re doing just that.

This is the way it works. If you want to participate, read through your archives from 2013 and choose a favourite post. You can leave all sorts of comments below telling me how fantastic I am, but fill out the form to send in your submission (do not leave it in the comments section — the point of this list is also the surprise of seeing the choices revealed on a single day). If you post your link below, I will delete it. Again, feel free to leave love comments below — in fact, please do leave love comments below — but not your submission for the list. Let’s keep it a surprise until the list is ready to go up.

You can only choose one entry. You cannot be modest. Everyone has a best post. There is no such thing as a boring blog. Even if you don’t think you have any readers because you’ve never received a comment, you have a best post. The one that you felt really good about when you hit publish. The one that would be the post you’d put forward if an editor called you tomorrow and said, “I have this great writing job for you that will pay a million dollars an hour. You just need to submit one blog entry to get this job so we can check your writing style.”

Even if you just found my blog because you read about the Creme de la Creme on another person’s blog, you are not only welcome to submit; you are encouraged. It is the best posts of 2013 for the ALI community and that community includes anyone who writes about infertility, adoption, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, assisted reproduction, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and every related topic — from living child-free after infertility to parenting after infertility. Everyone on the blogroll (or could be on the blogroll) is welcome to participate. Really, you don’t need to be a regular reader of my blog to join in. It’s open to everyone in the ALI blogosphere. I can’t say this in more ways than that. Which means you don’t need to write me a note asking if it’s okay to participate. The answer is yes. Okay?

Actually, it’s not only “yes;” it’s “please do.”

The list will be posted January 1st, and I promise that you will use up a good portion of the beginning of the year reading through the most stunning posts you’ve ever seen. We had 156 posts last year, and I’d really like to top that this year. My goal is all 3000 blogs currently on the blogroll, but barring that, let’s aim for over 200. Which means that not only do you have to participate if you’re reading this, but you need to spread the word and get other bloggers to participate (more on that below). Link to this post, send out a note to other bloggers you like, and suggest favourite posts to bloggers from this past year.

Um… other FAQ-like things:

How many posts can I submit?

You can only submit one. Please don’t submit two and ask me to choose. Submit one.

How will I know that you received my entry?

When you hit submit on the form, you should get a screen telling you that I have my entry. If you don’t see that screen, I don’t have your entry.

I sent in a post last week but I just wrote one that I love more! Can I switch my submission?

The short answer is no. The reason is that I write up the blurbs that appear next to each entry. This takes a lot of time. When you change your post, I have to write another blurb. Therefore, think carefully. But get your post in early so it’s high up on the list. But take your time picking it so you’re positive it’s the one you want on the list. But don’t give this too much thought…

If you just submitted it an hour earlier and realized you sent the wrong link, email me quickly so I can change it. Once I write the blurb, it’s set. I mean, you can pull your blog from the list, but you can’t submit a different link.

How do I know which one is my best?

Think of this list in sort of the same vein as those “Best American Short Story”-type collections except that it’s blog entries and everyone in the blogosphere should be represented with a link. The idea of the creme de la creme is not to put out there “the best” by someone else’s definition of “best.” It’s to put out the entry that means the most to you. Everyone has a best entry from 2013. It’s the one you would cry about if it was ever eaten by your computer. Even if it’s only meaningful to you.

I’m having a lot of trouble choosing my best one.

Why don’t you give a few choices to a friend and get their opinion? Don’t get hung up on the word “best.” It’s more about presenting a small taste of your blog. A lot of people read the list each January and it’s a chance for them to get to know your blog in one post. The goal, of course, is not only to honour every blog, but to also introduce everyone. Think of it like a cocktail party. You certainly think about what you wear, but everything doesn’t hinge on this one outfit.

I want to submit a post about my dog/favourite recipe/vacation in Hawaii. So … er … it’s not about adoption/infertility/loss. Can I? Or I want to submit a post but it has pictures of my baby in it. Do you think this is okay for an IF list?

Well, this list is sort of a pu-pu platter of the ALI community. Therefore, if your post is about your ski trip last winter, it doesn’t really show any emotion, thought, or event flitting through the community. Still, people have submitted off-topic posts in the past. If you have any part of the post that if ALI-related, all the better though.

The second question is a sensitivity one. Personally, I think that babies are part of the community and territory. The reality is that we’re all working towards parenthood or were once working towards parenthood. And children are included in that. I try to always mention in my blurb if it’s about a baby or if there are photos so people are given a heads up before they click over. So, yes, send posts that have photos in it and I will make sure that people know the gist of the post before they click over if they’re in a sensitive space.

I’m a man. Can I participate?

Are you part of the ALI community? Then didn’t you read above? EVERYONE is invited to participate. Male, female, young, old, married, single, gay, straight, everyone everyone everyone.

I’m a hedgehog. Can I participate?

Er … a hedgehog with a blog? An infertile hedgehog with a blog? I guess … I mean … I did say everyone …

I just started my blog in October. Can I participate?

As long as you’ve had one post in 2013, you can participate. Even if you didn’t start your blog until October 2013. Just choose your best from the last two months of the year.

My blog is password protected. Can I participate?

If your blog is password protected and you want to participate, choose your blog entry and create a free blog at Blogger or WordPress and post that single entry. Then send me the link so I can place it on the list. I can’t link to password protected blogs.

When is the deadline for getting in my submission?

To ensure that you’re on the list, please fill out the form by December 15th. No entries will be accepted after 11 pm EST on December 15th.

In the past, the list didn’t close until January, but as of last year, the list will not be updated after it goes up on January 1st. December 15th is the only deadline, and it is a hard deadline. Meaning, no one will be added who hears about this project after December 15th.

Which is why I am asking you, begging you, pleading with you, to spread word now. Tweet it, Facebook it, Pinterest it, blog about it, email about it, talk about it with that random stranger in the fertility clinic waiting room. Spread word now because people will not be able to add themselves after December 15th.

Can you post another link to the form right now because I’ve decided to submit.

Sure, here’s another link to the form. Just fill it out and hit send and it will go into the Creme de la Creme spreadsheet.

If you don’t want to participate, do nothing. With the Creme de la Creme list, I never add a blog or highlight a post unless the author has sent it to me. Therefore, no hurt feelings. If your post isn’t on the list, it’s because you haven’t sent one.

Spread the word with the following button on a post or your sidebar to encourage others to send a link:

The code for adding the link to your blog can be found here. You can also use the social media buttons at the bottom of the post.

Everyone has a best post. It is your personal best. It is not best by any other standard. Stop comparing yourself. Stop feeling shy. Stop thinking it’s immodest to toot your own horn when I’ve told you to toot your own horn. Start reading through your archives. Reflect on the year. And then send me a link for the list.

Wheeeew. Sorry about that last part. But everyone in the blogosphere should be represented and honoured.

October 15, 2013 11 Comments

Creme de la Creme of 2013

by Mel

For the eighth year running, the ALI community kicks off the new year by celebrating our best posts of the last year.

So what is the Creme de la Creme list if this is your first time here? It was started as a response to the many blogging awards that are given out each winter. I expanded the idea of presenting “the best” to include a post from every blog in the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) world*. Every blogger has a personal best that deserves recognition. As editor of the list, I create the small blurbs after the title which serve as a doorway to the post. I hope they will help you find what you are seeking to read as well as show definitively the diversity of experience and emotion within the ALI community.

In the past, the list has been open for a bit after January 1st, but this year, submissions were only accepted from October 15 — December 15th. If you would like to be on the 2014 list, make sure you look for the opening post in October 2014.

Listed below are the best posts of 2013. As always, happy reading! And leaving a comment on these older posts is not a “may I?” but a “please do.” Comments are how an author knows their words are appreciated. Comments about the Creme de la Creme in general can be left on this post.

The Creme de la Creme of 2013

The End of the End (from Stirrup Queens): The author explains that “it doesn’t matter how small you are; you can still be deeply loved.” A story of loss and processing infertility through Cozy the hamster.
Adding a Dimension to the Open Adoption Spectrum (from LavenderLuz.com): Proving that contact is not the same things as openness within open adoption, the author explains with a four-part grid how to always be striving towards the concept of openness.
Jealousy Sucks (from Me… Plus One): In a deeply honest post, the author lays bare the jealousy she feels for other parents who have more than one child while having gratitude for her daughter.
Today I Woke Up Crying (from Something Beautiful): A beautiful post about waking from a dream and feeling the crushing weight of realizing that it’s not a reality.
NICU Delivery (from Emma in Mommyland): Rather than collect more toys, the author asks people for donations that she bring to the hospital for her child’s birthday. But the trip to the NICU for the drop off affects her deeply.
CD19: Dosing Up on Clomid and Hope (from Donating Hope): The author deals with the absurdity that she has gone from being an egg donor to using Clomid since she doesn’t ovulate on her own, though a good session with the punching bag clears her head to bring her the clarity she needs.
Kindergarten Past, Present & Future (from Bereaved and Blessed): A moving post, written to her three children — two of whom are living and a daughter who died — to mark their experience with kindergarten: past, present, and future.
Trials and Trails (from A+ Effort): Revisiting a restaurant that was the site of a miscarriage, the author reflects on walking through it now with her daughter and wishing she had known then what her future held.
It’s Okay (from Here We Go Again): A wonderful post from a baby loss mother about how there isn’t a single way to process terrible events but instead giving people permission to mourn as they need.
Growing Pains (from Adventures for Four): The author puts away clothes that her daughter outgrows, wondering what to do with the “what if” pile and whether there will be a child in the future to wear it.
Never Going Back Again (from Arch Mama): After the author bathes her child for the first time, washing away the last remnants of her daughter’s time inside her body, she reflects on the healing from infertility that has taken place though it will always remain part of her story.
I Refuse to be Grateful for My Infertility (from Inconceivable!): The author writes, “Infertility is many things in my life, but it is not a blessing.” A post about how we don’t have to feel gratitude or positivity toward the obstacles life places in our path.
A Letter To MRKH (from MRKH Musings): In an open letter to her uterine anomaly, the author tells her body all the ways she hates it until she comes to a place of love, realizing what has come into her life as the silver lining to that dark cloud.
Painting Rocks (from Bio Girl): The author talks about how her son tells his aunt over and over again how he loves her and misses her in the unique way a child grieves after a death: by bringing her colours.
Where’d My Baby Go? (from Family Building with a Twist): A sweet, wistful post about a babyhood gone and with it, the giving away of items no longer needed.
A Letter to Me (from From IF to When): Now knowing the end of her infertility story, the author goes backwards and writes a letter to herself, four years younger and about to embark on the journey that will bring her through many setbacks but ultimately to her daughter.
A Mother’s Story (from Inklings): Telling the story of the death and birth of her son, Rowan, the author recounts the events in December when she learned that her child had no heartbeat to cradling her son after delivery.
Redirecting Your Thoughts (from In Due Time): A rallying cry for positivity even in the face of enormous obstacles such as infertility.
The Bracelet – the One She Never Got to Meet (from We Say IVF They Say FIV): A moving post from the author about losing her mother and gaining a son.
The Very Bad Time (from Little Chicken Nuggets): A helpful post that every pregnant woman should bookmark in case they need it in the future. The author discusses her personal experience with postpartum depression.
The Meaning of Hope Part II (from A Single Journey): A beautful tribute to Hope, the author’s grandmother. Her name takes on new meaning as the author explains how much this woman meant to her, and how much she will miss her now that she’s gone.
Mind Over What Matters (from Will CarryOn): A frank post about going on medication after the loss of her twins. The author writes, “I should be able to get through this on my own will and determination, right? Wrong.”
The Reason (from Genuine Greavu): Exploring the topic of faith in regards to infertility, the author explains that while she doesn’t understand why she is infertile, she believes that she will see G-d’s work in dealing with her diagnosis.
Not Really Alone (from Bébé Suisse): A wonderful post about how it’s never too late in a pregnancy to take that step back from anxiety and just enjoy the moments you do have together, realizing the connection and what you always carry with you.
The Un-Anniversary (from The Brooding Woman): On an unfulfilled wedding anniversary, the author reflects on how she is better off without her ex-husband, and the small silver linings to their situation.
It’s Okay to Not be Okay (from Stupid Broken Eggs ): In a world where no one will admit to their foibles, the author muses on what it means to say she’s not okay after the death of a friend, and how different the world would be if we all said aloud that we’re not okay.
Note to My Mom (from BattleFish): On Mother’s Day, a daughter writes the mother she lost all the things she was supposed to be here to do, see, and say.
This Is… (from Kmina’s Blog): Capturing a time period of pure happiness to keep in an Internet jar and peek at in years to come so the heart never forgets.
A Breath of Fresh Air (from My Cheap Version of Therapy): A post about why embracing the happiness of parenting was an important part of the author’s healing after infertility.
Is the Unlived Life Worth Examining? (from The Road Less Travelled): Living childfree after infertility in a world full of children is a constant reminder of the road not taken, but the author reminds us that the road she’s on contains wonderful things too.
My Rose Bush (from Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker): After she literally sets down roots into motherhood, she figuratively sets down roots with a rose bush, a plant that has always symbolized parenting, to mark her first Mother’s Day.
Survivors’ Guilt (from Somewhere in the Middle): The author recounts her first Mother’s Day as a parent after dreading the day for nine straight years. Surrealness marks this moment of change, from waiting to mothering.
What’s Passed On (from My Path To Mommyhood): Standing in the gluten-free aisle kicks off the author’s musings on what we inherit and what she won’t get to pass along — good or otherwise. And how the people who carry us and surround us influence us much in the same way as DNA.
In My Shoes (from Who Shot Down My Stork?): A day in the life of an infertile woman, hour by hour, with a gorgeous ending that captures those moments that you carve out together, holding each other.
A Rebuttal (from MoJo Working): A rebuttal, point for point, to a hurtful comment that was left on a post explaining why the author doesn’t like Mother’s Day that goes on to suggest that there is a lot of mothering that is done by non-mothers, and all of that love should be recognized and honoured.
National Infertility Awareness Week: For Good, Not Griping (from Wee Hermione): A wonderful post for Infertility Awareness Week asking, “Why do healthcare lemonade stands not fill everyone with rage?”
Forty Eight Hours (from Baking & Babies): The birth story of Kennedy summed up by this line: “After two years of trying, nine months of waiting, and a very long two days of labouring, I was holding my little girl. Nothing else mattered.”
Blessing this Day (from PoemFish: Thoughts from an adoptive lesbian poet mom): A very moving post (be prepared with tissues) about sisterhood and anticipation and loss and blessings. A loving tribute to the author’s niece, Gwendolyn, and what this girl who was lost awakened in the author.
Jimmy Fallon’s “Coming Out”: Celebrations and Concerns (from Ready To Be a Mom): A thank you to Jimmy Fallon (with a few concerns) for speaking about infertility because as the author states, every time a celebrity uses their platform to talk about it, it brings understanding to the general public.
What Kindness Looks Like (from My Lady of the Lantern): A post about treating others and herself with kindness, choosing the more gracious road than the otherwise.
What I Can’t Forget (from Kate; Uncensored): While the author believed at one time that certain dates no longer held power, she learned otherwise as they passed. A post about remembering.
#EMOTIONS (from Mommyhood after Fertility Frustration): After a good birthing experience, the author is blindsided by her trouble with breastfeeding and talks about how she processes that experience.
Tik Tok Tik Tok 1-1-1 (from While We Were Waiting): A post marking the one year anniversary of starting the adoption process; the hope and the waiting and the dreaming.
On Acceptance (from Two Adults, One Child): In the peace of an early morning drive, the author remembers her child on her unfulfilled due date with quiet acceptance.
My Dance Partners (from Can I Get Some Sugar with These Lemons?): Moving from strangers to family, a mother and son figure each other out, and she takes those lessons learned to her next child.
This Chapter is Closed (from BagMomma): Closing the chapter of her life on infertility, the author beautifully summarizes it with this: “And all those things I gained? I may have lived a lifetime and never found those gifts.”
A Sales Pitch to Our Day 3 Embryos (from It Only Takes One): A note to her embryos, enticing them to keep growing and return to her body in exchange for “total devotion and boundless love.”
Hopeful Mornings (from Waiting to Expand): Every so often, the author lets down her guard and allows herself to hold baby clothes, dreaming.
Infertile? Don’t Work at an Art Gallery (from Baby Makin’ ): The author’s artistic job brings her close to children, and she wonders if she will ever have a paint-covered child of her own.
Georgia’s Birth – Part IV {Our Baby is Born} (from Breathe Gently): The final installment of her daughter Georgia’s birth story, with pictures to boot.
Nothing (from In Quest of a Binky Moongee): The author finds peace after mourning an arrested cycle that ends without transfer.
Second Birthday (from Non Sequitur Chica): A post about the two dogs that fill her heart with love, along with really really really cute pictures.
Taking It Day By Day (from By Lisa, With Love x): Two separate losses invoke two different emotional reactions, and the author catalogues how she is finding herself again.
Why, Yes, I Would Like to Host a Parasite (from And the Vial Makes Three): Two mothers-to-be-one-day recount how they came to the decision over which one would carry their child.
Join the Movement: Second Class Infertile (from My Preconceived Notion): For Infertility Awareness Week, the author discusses how age creates a divide (that doesn’t need to be there) in the infertility community.
Family is Everything (from Pail Bloggers): The author talks about her relationship with her child’s birth family, explaining why she chooses open adoption.
When Does TTC Become an Obsession? (from Amateur Nester): At the heart of this post is a question: “At what point do all the treatments, tears, money, and anguish turn into something unhealthy?”
The Most Important Lesson I Ever Learned (from A Good Mother): Advice that came during one of the worst moments of her life continues to serve the author through some of the best ones.
Not Just Baby (from Life as Two): An explanation of the far-reaching reality of what it means to live childfree after infertility; both what it is and what it is not.
Eye of the Storm (from Chossing Grace Today): The author compares grief to the life of a storm: the pounding rain, the moment of calm, and then the emotions spinning around again like heavy winds.
Our Miracles (from Our Griswold): Though it didn’t feel like a short time while she was living it, the author reflects on how lucky she is to now have her twin daughters.
Journeys: Buddha and Ammo Boxes (from I Can’t Whistle): Grief is a life partner in this post about a road trip to bury the past, literally and figuratively.
Knowing Our Limits; Even When It Hurts (from Where the *Bleep* is Our Stork?): In researching adoption, the author explains that adoption isn’t easy and it may not be the right fit for all families.
My Adoption Backstory and the Epiphany (from An Engineer Becomes a Mom): The author discusses her own past in regards to adoption, and it becomes an explanation for why she chose open adoption for her child.
This Mother’s Day (from A Woman My Age): On Mother’s Day, the author reflects on how other women are experiencing this day, from those who are not parents to her child’s birth mother.
My Middle Man (from Parenthood for Me): Capturing a moment of her child’s babyhood before he grows into the man the author knows he’ll become.
Waiting Room (from Teach Me to Braid): A post about how the fertility clinic waiting room differs from the regular doctor’s office as the author wonders about everyone else’s story.
Surviving Hospital Bed Rest (from Home Grown Love): A helpful post that you may want to bookmark just in case you need it in the future on how to survive hospital bed rest.
4 Week Reflections (from Constant in the Darkness): A beautiful post making sense of open adoption where the author admits, “I will always recognize that Moonbeam is also Aurora’s daughter, and that this doesn’t compromise my position.”
I Can’t Help but Wonder Where I’m Bound (from Mine to Command ): A father-daughter dance at a wedding kicks off the author’s musings on how life will change when they have a child.
3 Weeks and Hot Air Balloons (from Dear Noah): Trying to make sense of losing her son on the one month anniversary after his death and birth.
My Family and the 21st Chromosome (from Roccie Road): Deciding not to move forward with a CVS, the author explains that they will come to a place of peace if they do face Down syndrome.
The Exhilarating Tension Between Being and Becoming (from Baby Smiling in Back Seat): The cool, flowing movement of the moon salutation becomes the balance to the author’s usual state of pushing herself toward the sun.
Unsafe (from Desire to Mother): Losing the safety of childfree friends who start to procreate and having a job working with children places the author in a precarious position.
Over 40 and Few Eggs Left: Case of My Friend Elena.B. (from Get Pregnant After 35: Improving Egg Quality): A post detailing the author’s opinion that women should try to improve their own egg quality for six months before turning to donor eggs.
Never Regret Love (from Catching Our Rainbow): After a loss, a person is going to hurt regardless of what they do to protect themselves. So choose love.
On Perfectionism (from Em-i-lis): Coming into the knowledge that she is real person, and real people aren’t perfect. She writes, “So I am trying to find comfort in being the imperfect self that I truly am, recognizing that though some won’t like it, others will.”
A Yellow Jacket (from Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms): The author recounts the emotions she felt seeing her goddaughter in a jacket that she thought her own child might wear one day.
Casting off the Chains of Infertility: Fertility Diary, The Life of Pi and the Search for Peace (from Silent Sorority): The author speaks about kicking her addiction to fertility treatments and how there needs to be a counterpoint out there to all the hope given by the media.
On Babies and a Change of Heart (from Princess Burlap): Though her husband once upon a time didn’t want children, he has since had a change of heart that fills the author with both hope and questions.
The Words We Feed Ourselves (from Don’t Count Your Eggs): The author points out that while we’re extra mindful of the foods we put into our bodies, we’re not as mindful of the words we put into our minds in regards to infertility.
The Dirty Word: A Hobbit-ish Paradigm Shift (from Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings): A wonderful post about how the limiting viewpoint she was given as a child was discarded when infertility opened her eyes to the world of feminism.
My Due Date and What I Got Instead (from Aging Baby Maker): During a week when she should be welcoming her child, the author instead recounts the numerous ways her life has changed since her loss.
I Have A Lot to Learn (from Life As I Know It): A simple conversation with her son about parking spaces sets off a larger bomb of ideas inside the author’s head.
Dear Pregnant Self (from No Good Eggs): A note to her pregnant self reminding her to enjoy this pregnancy and embrace it in its entirety.
Out of the Closet (from Birds, Bees, and Medicine): After telling some co-workers and her boss about infertility, the author feels a sense of peace; there is no one else she needs to tell right now and nothing she needs to hide.
It’s Not Your Fault (from Persnickety Chickadee): “It’s not your fault” is a statement that gets dissected and examined as the author recounts her losses.
The Great Big Lie About Personhood Legislation (from The Infertility Voice): A rallying cry against personhood bills that limit a person’s ability to create their family.
Three Minutes (from #GoTeamZoll): The ritual of hand washing before entering the NICU becomes a metaphor for how the author’s life has changed since the birth of her son.
On Judgment (from Res Cogitatae): Understanding her priviledge and how we often judge others and fear that we are being judged as we go through the work of parenting.
Two Years (from A Crack In Everything): A wonderful post on sobriety, why she chose it, and how we can live our lives differently even in the worst of times.
How Many People Does It Take to Make a Baby? (from Laughing at the I-Word): Awkward moments in family building when the normal two-some to make a baby becomes… ten.
“If You Don’t Have Kids, You Don’t Understand.” (from No Kidding in NZ): Taking apart the statement “if you don’t have kids, you don’t understand,” the author explains just how much those without children notice even as their own situation goes unprocessed by the other side.
Breaking Up (from Where Love and Chaos Reign): The author formally says goodbye to infertility, leaving it as a closed chapter in her life that gave her two children but no longer gets to control her emotions.
We Went for a Walk Last Night (from Something Out of Nothing): The repetition of the words “we went for a walk last night” creates a rhythm through which the author weaves a thread of hope.
Charmed (from TheStorkDiaries): Choosing tangible reminders for the children she lost, the author would rather have her real babies here than carried around her wrist.
Mama Is Lost (from Weathering Storms): The Creme de la Creme ends on a touching note, as a mother realizes her child’s special needs, longing to hear him call her mama. It captures that feeling of lostness that comes when you realize how much of life is out of your hands.

Past Creme de la Creme Lists

Like what you read? Peruse an old Creme de la Creme list from the past

*I aim for inclusivity, therefore, if you think you belong on this list, you probably do. From the newly-diagnosed to the treatment vets, from those still filling out paperwork to those with completed adoptions, from those who are trying to choose a donor and those parenting DI or DE kids; those who are completely confused on what to do and those who are peacefully–or not peacefully–living child-free. Biological infertility or situational infertility, being a single parent by choice, straight or gay, young or old — this list is about difficulties while family building, pure and simple.

January 1, 2014 15 Comments

Creme de la Creme of 2014

by Mel

For the ninth year running, the ALI community kicks off the new year by celebrating our best posts of the last year.

In the past, the list has been open for a bit after January 1st, but this year, submissions were only accepted from October 15 — December 15th. I will decide next fall if there will be a 2015 list, so look for news in October 2015.

Listed below are the best posts of 2014. As always, happy reading! And leaving a comment on these older posts is not a “may I?” but a “please do.” Comments are how an author knows their words are appreciated. Comments about the Creme de la Creme in general can be left on this post.

The Creme de la Creme of 2014

Scattered (from Stirrup Queens): The author finally connects her own infertility to her great aunt’s situation as she mourns the last of her grandmother’s sisters.
How Not to Handle Your Own Ignorance On the Internet (from Lavender Luz): After her post is ignorantly debated on another site, the author explains how to handle talking about subjects outside your ken without upsetting people.
Relegated to Spectator (from Me Plus One): A mother feels both the sting and pride that comes from her child growing up and becoming independent.
The Shore (from Inconceivable!): A beautiful take on the concept of loss being an unknown land across a figurative ocean; a quiet moment on the silent beach of infertility, wondering if she can make a life where she has ended up.
Guilty as a Self-Charged (from Will CarryOn): As the guilt of pregnancy after loss eats away at her, the author recounts the guilt she feels over the death of her twins and all the things she wishes she had done while she had the chance.
Practice (from Bio Girl): A very sweet moment between mother and son, when connection wins out over exhaustion, and baseball wins out over cooking.
Surrogacy Costs: A Guide for Intended Parents (from Reproductive Law Blog): A lawyer explains the financial costs of surrogacy.
I Am Important (from The Brooding Woman): The lessons learned after the author takes a step back from seeing herself through the lens of her ex-husband and realizes that she is an important, smart woman.
My Postpartum Anxiety: Part 1 (from Muddy Boots and Diamonds): Because the outsider needs to understand, the author explains how postpartum anxiety feels and how it affects her daily life.
Epic (from Two Kids and Counting Slowly): “The author says it perfectly: “”there’s just too much
of every damn thing”” when it comes to infertility, and she lets the reader feel the weight, the enormity of the situation.”
Thankfulness (from Project Progeny): Taking care of a sick child juxtaposed with admiring a parent she sees in the airport creates fertile ground for exploring the far-reaching emotions of parenting.
Five Years of Going On (from RunningNekkid): Mourning her child’s stillbirth, the author reflects that grief is not just coming to terms with the death, but also the idea that life continues on. The junction where her brother’s birthday meets her child’s loss.
Beating Wings (from Res Cogitatae): Anxiety and anger are imaginary birds — practically tangible — fluttering on the author’s shoulders, squawking over every moment as a reminder.
Shadow and Light (from Something Out of Nothing): Sunshine and rain, blues and greys, create a lovely contrast in this post about her newborn daughter.
And the Results Are… (from Weathering Storms): After struggling with speech delays, the author’s son ends up shooting ahead verbally, not only catching up to but surpassing his peers.
Finding Meaning Questions – Take 2 (from Torthúil): A totally fascinating project: the author interviewed herself about infertility both after the diagnosis and many months later to see how her answers changed with experience.
31 Days of Prayer During Infertility (from Amateur Nester): For 31 days, the author offers up a unique prayer to G-d in regards to her infertility and invites others to do the same.
Saying Goodbye (from Diary of a Little Chicken): A heartbreaking farewell to her child the day before they know they will have to say goodbye as she tries to prepare herself for the unprepareable.
How Candy Crush Saga Ruined My Marriage (from Haircut and a Divorce): A series of events, starting with a cash withdrawal at a casino, leads to the end of the author’s marriage while she is pregnant after infertility.
Independence (from A Plus Effort): A heartbreaking post of a child who is working hard to grow up but encounters the harsh slap of another person.
Fear is Faith in the Wrong Things (from Adventures For Four): Rather than feel the excitement that should be hers for the taking, the author is struggling to have faith in a pregnancy coming after loss.
One Month (from Days of Grace): Loss has created this author’s ability to see the quiet courage in getting through those first months with a new baby.
Grieving, Breathing (from The Infertility Voice): On Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, the author additionally grieves a loss through suicide and muses about death, life, and the close calls.
I Saw My Donor Today (from Misconceptions About Conception): A mind-blowing post about fate as the author — through a strange coincidence — comes face-to-face with her anonymous donor in an unlikely space; the airport.
Strength and Vulnerability (from A Hummingbird Paused): While the author thought she had drawn hard lines in the sand, she discovers as she navigates infertility that things she never thought she could do suddenly seem do-able when faced with the idea of not becoming a parent.
A Picture of Urine-Soaked Paper Disguised as a Request for Opinions on Old Guide Books (from Journeys of the Fabulist): Deciding the children themselves are proof enough of the pregnancy, the author tosses the urine-soaked sticks she kept from when they discovered they were expecting.
Perfection (from No Ways to Say It): The author learns not only that perfection is impossible to obtain but that she doesn’t want to try for it, choosing to embrace the real vs. the fantasy.
The Myth of the Biological Clock (from Family Building with a Twist): The author states that while feminism can’t change the basic fact that our fertility has a shelf life, it can fight the good fight to put policies in place that don’t penalize women careerwise for building their family on their own timetable. A great piece about the intersection of fertility and feminism.
Wishing (from It’s Just a Box of Rain): After a long list of wishes, the author states the one thing she would never ever change if given the opportunity for unlimited wishes.
Infertility Taboos… It’s Time to Stop It (from Unpregnant Chicken): If infertility is as common as statistics state, shouldn’t it stand to reason that it should be acceptable conversation material? The author makes a strong case for why we should talk about infertility.
Month 55 – Letter to Quinn (from The Rumour Mill): A mother writes a letter to her daughter, wondering what sort of world she is leaving her to inherit on the day when a soldier is killed in a terrorist attack in Canada.
Late Night Inspiration (from Serenity in Chaos): The author explains how offensive what is said to those childless-not-by-choice is when seen through the lens of other life events and situations.
A Very Special Visit (from My Lady of the Lantern): The author finally goes to visit her daughter’s grave for the first time, and she talks about the thoughts the visit stirs up inside her.
Full House (from Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms): Through timing and fate, the author learns about another person’s pregnancy, and experiences both the happiness and grief that comes from talking about a baby-to-be. A beautiful post about coming to a place of peace and understanding (and excitement).
Little Triggers (from My Path to Mommyhood): The author observes someone else grieving as a result of a triggering conversation, and she muses on her own triggers and how they come when we least expect them; that our scabs aren’t strong enough when we’re still close to the moment to hold them back.
Announcing & Remembering (from Breathe Gently): During the time when she should have been announcing her pregnancy, the author instead announces her miscarriage. Her blog becomes the receptacle to pour all of her memories of that child, to mark that her child once existed.
Brain Dump (from Manapan’s Space): In a post that covers a lot of ground, the author explains that her partner is a trans woman and how that connects with the end of their family building journey as they remain a family of three.
And Rest in Unvisited Tombs (from The Road Less Travelled): A moving post about genealogy and family and the visiting of graves. The author wonders who will visit her grave after her death since her only child was born still. And yet she finally concludes that we can never know who will find comfort in visiting where we rest.
From Contemplation to Preparation (from When Agony Met Hope…): A wonderful post showing the steps her brain takes to get the author to the point where she realizes she wants to try donor embryos to build their family.
Who is Really Lucky? (from Mrs. Slick): An important post to read about how wrong people are when they describe adopted children as “lucky” and how the energy flows in the opposite direction — from parent down to child.
What I Hate About Infertility (from Old Lady and No Baby): The author laments the custom for infertile bloggers to feel guilty when they finally do build their families or step away from trying to conceive, and she begs writers to continue blogging their stories, enjoying every moment of the after period.
Mother to a Stillborn Baby (from A Second Line): Mothering is a feeling not an action in this important post about the author’s child who was born still.
Lucky No. 14 (from The Awesome Fossums): The author introduces the readers of her blog to the fact that she is infertile and what goes into their family building process right now.
The Flood and After (from Invincible Spring): A gorgeous post about life finding you just when you believe that all hope is lost, a reminder that flowers can grow even in ground that has been pelted by heavy rains.
Flights of Fancy (from It Only Takes One): The author ties together the disappearance of a flight with infertility, asking why she finds other people’s hope unbelievable when she goes through the same reaction month after month.
#Microblog Mondays: Blink (from Infertile Girl in a Fertile World): Time jumps ahead quickly in the blink of an eye, but the thought that keeps the author going is that one day she will be seeing her child’s face.
Ladybug (from A Single Journey): A moving post about how ladybugs — a sign of luck — have been following the author and were even there when she connected with her daughter via adoption.
Overcoming Insecurity (from Constant in the Darkness): The author admits the fears she has as an adoptive mother and makes a vow to overcome them; for her sake, for her daughter’s sake, and for the birth mother’s sake.
We Don’t Heal From Suffering, We’re Changed by It (from Silent Sorority): The author states: “I certainly didn’t choose to suffer but I’m thankful for what the suffering taught me.” A post about why one shouldn’t rush through the hard times, trying to sweep them under the rug.
The Thing About Infertility (from Looking for a Little): A lovely post explaining to the outsider how infertility feels; how it affects a person every day.
Open Letter to Women of Infertility Everywhere (from The Courage in Me): An open letter to infertile women explaining the infertile experience with a hard-earned “I know, too.”
Divine Appointments, and I Am Doing Well (from In Quest of a Binky Moongee): Time at a retreat brings both understanding and comfort as the author processes a recent loss by speaking about her experience.
Stuck (from Persnickety Chickadee): The what ifs of infertility control the author’s schedule, making her uncomfortable to plan for the future, not knowing what the future will be.
Milestones (from Searching for Our Silver Lining): A meditation on the concept of milestones; especially the ones that don’t come on the expected timetable, arriving early or late or out-of-order.
Infertility’s Waiting Room (from No Kidding in NZ): A metaphor about the conclusion of family building built off the doors leading out of a figurative waiting room with the cautious reminder to not only see the surface moments as one steps through the door but know there is so much you can’t see until you step fully out of the room.
Late for the Party (from Mine to Command): As the author’s friends become parents, she muses that family building has a lot in common with parties, especially the desire to arrive at the right time and not too early or very late.
Tough Conversations with a Four-Year-Old (from Four Years Later): The author’s child finally is at an age where he understands that he has a brother in the past even if that brother is no longer here, though he can’t wrap his mind around the idea of not having a sibling to play with in the future.
Mother (from The Empress and the Fool): The author comes to a new definition of motherhood, quite different from what she experienced in her own family, and decides the mother she wants to become.
Reviewing the Loss: Thinking and Feeling it Through (from Seeing Thestrals): Despite knowing how little control we have over a pregnancy, the author states that we cannot help but assign self-blame with a loss, and she gives sound advice on a better way to view the situation.
What Does it Mean to be Mentally Ill? (from Bereaved and Blessed): Speaking openly about secondary infertility and loss has positioned the author to be ready to speak about her mental illness diagnosis, and she speaks frankly about life with generalized anxiety disorder.
Perspective: Perfect Woman (from Dreaming of Diapers): The author points out how little we know about another person based on outward appearances, as two women covet each other’s bodies.
Why Miscarriage Matters When You’re Pro-Life (from The Lewis Note): A request that those who are pro-life treat all loss in the same way, applying the same words spoken about an abortion to a baby that is miscarried. This is a post about carefully choosing the words we use to comfort another person.
Family Resemblances (from By Lisa, with Love): The author takes apart the features and movements of her family (and herself) and sees them in her daughter.
A Thousand Words (from On Fecund Thought): A beautiful letter from mother to daughter, cherishing each feature and pointing out the wonder that comes from seeing someone else’s DNA in someone you love with your entire heart.
How Infertility has Changed Me in a Positive Way (from BattleFish): The author says it perfectly herself, “Infertility, with all of its ugliness, has taught me how to be more compassionate, less judgmental and see more beauty in this world.” It’s a silver lining rarely considered by the outside world.
Back to Work on Monday (from Non Sequitur Chica): The author laments and consoles as she heads back to work after the birth of her daughter, steeling herself for reality with a deep breath created out of words.
Still in the Trenches (from Genuine Greavu): The longer the author remains in the throes of the infertility, the more times she will need to say goodbye to the people around her who are also trying to build their family. She celebrates other people’s successes while admitting it is hard to still be trying.
The Daughter of My Dreams (from A Crack in Everything): It is both painful and hope-creating to remember the vision of a future child that once flashed through the author’s mind. It’s about realizing that there is a time for avoidance and a time for embracing, and the key is to be true to what you need in the moment.
Histopathology (from Sesame-seed-sized Dreams): A beautiful post a pomegranate tree for a lost child that finally bore fruit, fed with the milk that never touched her lips.
Still Standing and a Heartbreaking Choice (from Girl Ryanne): The author is stunned by the comments that came from the infertility and loss community, directed at one of our own, and she pleads for understanding and comfort to be given instead of fingers pointed.
MicroblogMonday: What a Feeling (from Kmina’s Blog): A wonderful post about reaching a point in life where the author likes herself. Where she doesn’t fret about the things she can’t change or berate herself for the things she gets wrong. It is about finding a place of peace.
Are You Psychic, Baby? (from Crazy Ever After): A tongue-in-cheek post about consulting a psychic (by app, no less) about the question I think most of us would ask if given the chance: when is that baby going to come.
Infertility, the Gift that Keeps on Giving (from Something Remarkable): In the throes of editing a poetry collection about infertility, the author is confronted with reminders of the journey.
1 Year Ago Today at 7:00am (from An Engineer Becomes a Mom): On the year anniversary, the author recounts an adoption experience that ended with many broken hearts and explains how it changed her understanding of adoption.
What Kind of Mother Are You? (from A Woman My Age): The author points out that no one scrutinizes dads in the way that we label and judge mums, and she wonders why we don’t do more to support rather than tear each other down with our opinions.
TSH and Tears (from POF and Now What? Life with a Baby through DE-IVF): The author begs to be released from the image she has in her mind of a large family so she can be happy with the one she has and not feel jealousy.
The Lost One (from Another Bun (in the oven)?): The author wonders what it means if she has forgotten her unfulfilled due date, and she realizes that this too is part of her process; that it’s a part of her healing.
TFMR and the Loss Community (from Missing Noah): After fearing for a long time that she wouldn’t be accepted in the loss community, the author sees exactly what she dreaded in the comment section of an article about medical termination and it breaks her heart first before ultimately filling her with hope.
That Imaginary T-shirt (from Teach Me to Braid): A wonderful post about the things we wish we could instantly convey to the people around us as well as musings on why we feel such a deep need for strangers to know these facts.
Dedicated (from Something Beautiful): The author recounts her daughter’s dedication at church, a moment six years in the making, and how it was attended by 9 members of her daughter’s birth family. A perfect moment of restoration.
Bless You (from Life As I Know It): A rude exchange with a stranger gets turned into a moment to teach her sons how much she loves them and how wonderful they are in their uniqueness.
Assembly (from River Run Dry): The author explains why she runs. It isn’t for health or to prove her endurance. It is because running makes her whole; it puts her back together.
One and Done? Deciding if Only One Child is the Right Thing to Do (from My Life Is About the Journey): The author doesn’t know whether to try to have a second child, and she recounts the various pros and cons of the situation, additionally wondering if her experience with infertility will be the same emotionally the second time around.
The Promise of a Christmas Card (from A Storybook Life): The piece the author performed at Listen to Your Mother: she speaks of the Christmas card wall at the clinic; the one showing the smiling babies of former patients. It’s about how she once viewed that wall as well as her chance to finally contribute to it.
The P17 Drama, Anatomy Scan, and Firefly (from Where I’ve Been… and Where I’m Going): A drawn out battle with the insurance company and a bleeding scare results in a solution to a medication problem as well as the discovery that the author is having a baby girl.
I Know I am Still Infertile Because… (from No Good Eggs): Though the author is a new mother of two children, she still recounts the ways she knows she is infertile despite reaching parenthood.
The Twins Birthstory (from Knocked up by Another Man): A very scary bleeding episode leads into the birth of the author’s twins as well as her own trip to the ICU. You’ll hold your breath reading this birth story, but I promise that it ends well.

Past Creme de la Creme Lists

Like what you read? Peruse an old Creme de la Creme list from the past

January 1, 2015 21 Comments

The 2014 Creme de la Creme List is Now Open for Submissions

by Mel

It is the ninth anniversary of the little Creme de la Creme, where we celebrate our corner of the blogosphere. 97 bloggers participated last year. If this is your first time hearing about the project, this post should tell you everything you need to know. If you’ve participated in years past, you know how much fun the list is when it’s revealed on January 1st. So, I hereby declare the 2014 Creme de la Creme list open.

I know this is loooooong, but please read this whole post before submitting your entry.

If you didn’t read or participate in this list in 2006 or in 2007 or in 2008 or in 2009 or in 2010 or in 2011 or in 2012 or in 2013, the impulse behind this list is a counterbalance to the ubiquitous award ceremonies that crawl out of their hiding spaces usually around December or January. Awards are nice — it’s good to honour someone and mark big accomplishments. But we all have a best post tucked into our archives. We all have words that have moved another person or ideas that have kicked off a series of musings. Bloggers are writers, and all of us deserve to be celebrated.

And we’re doing just that.

This is the way it works. If you want to participate, read through your archives from 2014 and choose a favourite post. You can leave all sorts of comments below telling me how fantastic I am, but fill out the form to send in your submission (do not leave it in the comments section — the point of this list is also the surprise of seeing the choices revealed on a single day). If you post your link below, I will delete it. Again, feel free to leave love comments below — in fact, please do leave love comments below — but not your submission for the list. Let’s keep it a surprise until the list is ready to go up.

Even if you just found my blog because you read about the Creme de la Creme on another person’s blog, you are not only welcome to submit; you are encouraged. It is the best posts of 2014 for the ALI community and that community includes anyone who writes about infertility, adoption, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, assisted reproduction, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and every related topic — from living child-free after infertility to parenting after infertility. Everyone on the blogroll (or could be on the blogroll) is welcome to participate. Really, you don’t need to be a regular reader of my blog to join in. It’s open to everyone in the ALI blogosphere. I can’t say this in more ways than that. Which means you don’t need to write me a note asking if it’s okay to participate. The answer is yes. Okay?

Actually, it’s not only “yes;” it’s “please do.”

The list will be posted January 1st, and I promise that you will use up a good portion of the beginning of the year reading through the most stunning posts you’ve ever seen. We had 97 posts last year, and I’d really like to top that this year. My goal is all 3000+ blogs currently on the blogroll, but barring that, let’s aim for over 150. Which means that not only do you have to participate if you’re reading this, but you need to spread the word and get other bloggers to participate (more on that below). Link to this post, send out a note to other bloggers you like, and suggest favourite posts to bloggers from this past year.

Um… other FAQ-like things:

How many posts can I submit?

You can only submit one. Please don’t submit two and ask me to choose. Submit one.

How will I know that you received my entry?

When you hit submit on the form, you should get a screen telling you that I have my entry. If you don’t see that screen, I don’t have your entry.

I sent in a post last week but I just wrote one that I love more! Can I switch my submission?

How do I know which one is my best?

Think of this list in sort of the same vein as those “Best American Short Story”-type collections except that it’s blog entries and everyone in the blogosphere should be represented with a link. The idea of the creme de la creme is not to put out there “the best” by someone else’s definition of “best.” It’s to put out the entry that means the most to you. Everyone has a best entry from 2014. It’s the one you would cry about if it was ever eaten by your computer. Even if it’s only meaningful to you.

I’m having a lot of trouble choosing my best one.

I’m a man. Can I participate?

Are you part of the ALI community? Then didn’t you read above? EVERYONE is invited to participate. Male, female, young, old, married, single, gay, straight, everyone everyone everyone.

I’m a meerkat. Can I participate?

Er … a meerkat with a blog? An infertile meerkat with a blog? I guess … I mean … I did say everyone …

I just started my blog in October. Can I participate?

As long as you’ve had one post in 2014, you can participate. Even if you didn’t start your blog until October 2014. Just choose your best from the last two months of the year.

My blog is password protected. Can I participate?

When is the deadline for getting in my submission?

To ensure that you’re on the list, please fill out the form by December 15th. No entries will be accepted after 11 pm EST on December 15th.

In the past, the list didn’t close until January, but as has been the case for the few years, the list will not be updated after it goes up on January 1st. December 15th is the only deadline, and it is a hard deadline. Meaning, no one will be added who hears about this project after December 15th.

Can you post another link to the form right now because I’ve decided to submit.

Sure, here’s another link to the form. Just fill it out and hit send and it will go into the Creme de la Creme spreadsheet.

Spread the word with the following button on a post or your sidebar to encourage others to send a link:

The code for adding the link to your blog can be found here. You can also use the social media buttons at the bottom of the post.

Wheeeew. Sorry about that last part. But everyone in the blogosphere should be represented and honoured.

October 21, 2014 17 Comments

Creme de la Creme of 2012

by Mel

For the seventh year running, the ALI community kicks off the new year by celebrating our best posts of the last year.

In the past, the list has been open for a bit after January 1st, but this year, submissions were only accepted from October 15 — December 15th. If you would like to be on the 2013 list, make sure you look for the opening post in October 2013.

Listed below are the best posts of 2012. As always, happy reading! And leaving a comment on these older posts is not a “may I?” but a “please do.” Comments are how an author knows their words are appreciated. Comments about the Creme de la Creme in general can be left on this post.

The Creme de la Creme of 2012

Our Invisible Travel Companion (from Stirrup Queens): A tribute to her ghost child, an amalgamation of babies-not-born and not-yet children, that follows the author through the streets of London on her trip; an almost corporal being constructed out of ideas, hopes, and disappointments.
Tension Release: From Cranky to Compassionate (from Lavender Luz): A very powerful reminder to never lower yourself to another person’s standards as well as to remember that we all carry with us a story that no one else knows.
Finding Peace in Our Only (from Bio Girl): Finding joy instead of sadness in the number three and being grateful for the son she has rather than focusing on the children she hasn’t.
Grief (from Growing Griswolds): A post about allowing yourself to go through all the stages of the grieving process when dealing with infertility, for recognizing all the losses inherent in the diagnosis.
Perfect Moment Monday: In a Blue Moon (from The Infertility Voice): A beautiful post about the perfect weekend, a time when the author was able to set down all of her troubles and be in the moment, enjoying life and her friends. Her troubles waited patiently to be picked up during the ride home.
The Truth (from Serenity Now!): An incredibly truthful post about simultaneously feeling happiness and pain from someone else’s good news, and whether we can (or should) deny ourselves our real feelings.
God’s Plan (from Our Pathway to Parenthood): A post about how G-d has enriched her life throughout infertility; how the subsequent pregnancy is neither the end of the story nor the beginning but merely a continuation.
The Streak (from The Maybe Baby (Babies)): A very moving post about her father’s death as well as what we do to feel in control of an out-of-control situation. The author weaves running into the fabric of the story as she contemplates the things we do that defy reason and yet take root in our heart.
On Friendship (from MRKH Musings): A very moving post about the author’s inability to form a new female friendship since her diagnosis with Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome, which changed her whole world and the way she relates to other women.
When, Not If (from BattleFish): Moving back to describing her life in terms of “whens” instead of the “ifs” that have been prevalent in her mind due to her journey through infertility.
Don’t Feel Sorry For Me (from Me… Plus One): A beautiful post giving a more accurate portrayal of single motherhood by choice than that provided in the literature of a family building site. It is about taking happiness into your own hands, cherishing what you can do when you stop waiting and instead take life by storm.
Telling and Talking about Donor Conception (from The Question Now Becomes…): Newly pregnant, a meeting at the Donor Conception Network gives the author the space to think through the baby growing inside, how they’ll speak about the conception with others, as well as finding peace in knowing a support system exists that will help them to celebrate this new life.
(Not) An Old Fashioned Love Song (from Donating Hope): From a broken marriage and a broken heart comes a story of love and change as well as the courage to keep walking even when you don’t know where the path will lead you.
Mental/Emotional Infertility and Its Impact on the Adoption, Loss, and Infertility Community (from The Smartness): The author defines what she calls “emotional infertility” and explains how our mental state determines the support we are capable of giving in the moment.
To Be, Not To Be (from Magpie Musing): A stunning post on how all that came before her daughter made her family into the threesome they are now. Any one element out of place, even the saddest ones, would mean that she wouldn’t have the little girl she has.
Twisted Comfort (from Genuine Greavu): The author finds peace with the way she handled her miscarriage from the Bodies exhibit, especially within the reproduction room.
Sometimes I’m Not Very Positive. . . (from The Redhead Files): A very raw and honest post giving insight into the emotional landscape of a failed cycle after her third IUI.
That Dr. Seuss… He Was on to Something (from Can I Get Some Sugar with These Lemons?): The author tearfully realizes that she “made it to the end. I moved my mountain” as she reads aloud a Dr. Suess book to her son.
Last Friday Night (from Bébé Suisse): A powerful piece about what is truly going on inside the mind of a woman as she graciously congratulations the couple in the room after they announce their accidental pregnancy.
The Vantage Point of Hindsight (from The Destiny Manifest): A must-read post for anyone pregnant that takes the middle road after her child is born still, reminding people that choices need to be made on a case-by-case basis and not to get sucked in to either side of the natural childbirth/hospital birth rhetoric.
When Bloggers Lie About Loss (from OnceAMother…): A gorgeous post that states an important point: “I would rather show compassion and support to someone who turns out to be a troll, than have to live with having compounded someone’s grief with accusations.”
A Year With You in My Life (from Dear Finley): A moving post on the one-year anniversary of discovering her son’s conception, mourning the fact that time is continuing and taking her further from the days when she had Finley with her.
Overjoyed (from Finding My New Normal): The author captures the extreme joy she feels now that her daughter is here, crying the good cries that express the happiness in her heart.
The Mothers (from Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker): A moving post about two mothers — one who has given birth and one who is raising the child, summarizing the pain and joy, peace and anguish in adoption.
Home (from Return to Go): A gorgeous example of how home isn’t necessarily a physical place; it is sometimes a space that we manifest inside or with the people we love, where we can be ourselves, comfortable and safe.
Seven Years (from Not Undecided): The truth of how miscarriages affected the author’s marriage; laying bare the fact that making it through seven years of marriage was not always pretty, but it was always filled with love.
Conversations I Must have with My Daughters (from The Rumour Mill): I got teary reading this perfect post of advice from a mother to her daughters.
Three Years On (from Adventures for Four): Processing a loss three years down the line, the author realizes what she couldn’t in the moment: that after all the sadness would come a different but equal happiness.
Beyond the PAIL (from Family Building with a Twist): A post about how the author doesn’t feel as if she belongs in the infertility community anymore now that she is a mother but also feels an otherness as she navigates the world of parents who have conceived without issue.
I Am Childless, Hear Me Roar (from The Road Less Travelled): The growing and powerful voice of women living child-free after infertility, and the important ways they’re letting out a mighty roar.
Simple When It’s Anything But (from Life From Here: Musings from the Edge): A mother navigates a question from her daughter over dinner: why didn’t I grow in your belly? She gracefully unfolds the answer in small increments, giving her child what she can understand in the moment.
Where There’s Tea, There’s Hope (from Sunnydaytodaymama): The author’s hope may have disappeared for a bit, but it returns in a new form within this post.
It Shouldn’t Have Been So Hard (from Production, Not Reproduction): A post about taking that first step to treat post-adoption depression; the deep breath that was taken at the doctor’s office when the author circled the answer to the question, asking for help.
How I Cope with Pregnant Women (from Non Sequitur Chica): The author explains the very healthy ways she has of thinking and processing pregnancies happening around her as she experiences infertility.
Wanted for Robbery (from No Baby Ruth): Until she can leave the limbo of infertility, the author feels the situation suffocating her passion. She mourns the loss of excitement and energy from her life.
Fading Away (from A Single Journey): A haunting post realizing that in the same way that the memories of a friend who died have faded from her mind, so is the dream of becoming a mother one day.
The Pregnancy Factory (from Little Chicken Nuggets): Now that the situation is different, now that she is the one sitting in the ultrasound waiting room rather than visiting the pregnancy loss clinic down the hall, the author wonders about the other patients and realizes that perhaps their journeys were not as blissful as she assumed.
The Deets! Part 1 (from Knocked up by Another Man): The author is chosen by another blogger to be the recipient of her frozen embryos, and she tells the story of how she went from despair to hope.
An Adoptee’s Perspective: 10 Things Adoptive Parents Should Know (from Diary of a Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee): A fabulous post of advice for adoptive parents given by an adoptee.
Family Building (from Blawnde’s Blawg): How does one know when they’re ready to try for a child again? The author muses about what she thought her family was going to look like and holds that against the reality of what family building is like for them.
Fear (from With Just a Little Help): A post about the fears inherent in infertility; the fear of another BFN, the fear of a positive and all the worrying that entails, and mostly a fear of living with all of that fear day in and day out.
Can You Imagine Not Having a Child? (from Baptism by Fire): The author leads the reader through imagining life without a child, bringing understanding to what it is like to live child-free after infertility.
A Response From A Childless Friend (from If You Don’t Stand For Something): After an advice columnist answers the question of what mothers do all day, the author pens her own response of how childless women hear and process the work description of being a mother, begging for understanding for the other side too.
1000 Oceans (from A Thousand Oceans): A powerful post reflecting on the final days as a family of four before her water broke and Naava and Aminadav were gone; how time split into two parallel universes, one where she still has her babies and one where she is 1000 oceans away.
I Will Never Move On (from Happiness at the Core): The author explains the problem with the term “move on” when it comes to continuing after the loss of a baby, and she instead uses the more accurate term, “live on.”
Uncomfortable Thoughts (from The Misadventures of Missohkay): A both amusing and enlightening post about a conversation the author never expected to have with an unkempt man on the train in regards to her daughter.
High Risk (from Breathe Gently): The author learns that her pregnancy has become high risk and there is a chance that something is wrong with her baby, but she opts to not continue with screening or diagnostic tests because she knows their answers will not change her path.
The Half Full Cup: Three Years (from Mama On The Fly ): A moving post about trying to find a way to celebrate a very complicated birthday for a child she inadvertently carried for another couple, a child who she is still parenting with her heart. This post highlights the complex formations of love: sometimes it takes the shape of a straight line, and sometimes it becomes a jagged, twisting shape, ensnaring or cradling us.
Intangibles (from MoJo Working): The author discusses a mental shift, away from coveting babyhood to seeing the bigger scope of all the stages of life without children. She touches on an important distinction of wanting a baby but wanting a family more.
Bereaved Moms Club (from BH Mom): With her daughter born still, all she has are her dreams to imagine a life that would now include the teenage years. It’s about acknowledging the what ifs for a moment.
What Makes the Elephant Charge His Tusk in the Misty Mist, or the Dusky Dusk (from A Passage to Baby): A post about finding courage and dipping back into a time when she felt braver as she embarks on part of her cycle alone in India.
Now You See Me, Part 2 (from Dragondreamer’s Lair): An attempt to bring comfort to a friend who lost her child brings the author her own lifeline to get through her own losses down the road, one stitch at a time.
What Dreams May Come (from The Elusive Second Line): Dreams of her future first-born son fill her mind, keeping at bay other options to parenthood because they do not match the little boy that visits her when she sleeps, the boy she knows she is meant to parent.
Once Upon a Visit, Every Time a Visit (from My Lady of the Lantern): A moving post about returning to the hospital where her child died for a doctor’s appointment for her second born. Seeing the doorway to the NICU fills her with thoughts about the child she never got to cuddle close and where her wishes land as she blows them into the air.
Forget (from Kmina’s Blog): As much as we want to remember, our brains cannot hold on to the reality of caring for a new baby, and so we are surprised anew with each child as we become the center of their universe.
Stronger, Braver, Smarter… (from Fertility Lab Insider): A must-read post if you are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel that promises you that within infertility, “you are stronger than you seem, braver than you feel, and smarter than you think.”
Dawn Warblings (from Aerotropolitan Comitissa): Two perfect parables that will bring you comfort and understanding.
No and It is OK (from Musings of a Hormonal Egg Basket): Discovering that it is the stomach flu and not a miraculous natural pregnancy causing her nausea makes the author think about her frozen embryos and how she both wants to be reunited with them as well as fears the process of attempting pregnancy again.
Lessons My Toddler Teaches Me (from Destined To Be An Old Woman With No Regrets): A great post about how without many words, the author comes to an agreement with her toddler that allows them both to have what they need, even if it takes double the amount of time to get where they’re going.
A Surprise from the Universe & the Slippery Slope (from Glitter & Rainbows): One of the most original posts I’ve read all year comparing leaving family building to quitting smoking.
Believing in the Unbelievable (from From IF to When): A post that captures the amazement of the author who didn’t know if she’d ever become a mother and now, a month after having that thought, is writing about her daughter.
Waves Crashing (from Metholic’s Blog): The memory of getting hit by a giant wave when the author was younger becomes an analogy for navigating pregnancy after infertility, as she discusses how one continues to enter the ocean even knowing all the possible dangers.
Infertiles of the World Unite (from The Barren Librarian): The Pain Olympics become a source of sadness for the author who is simply looking for comfort and not competition as she navigates infertility.
Flicker (from Ana Begins): The bitter and the sweet of your children growing up, becoming more independent and capable of doing fun things, and yet also no longer being the sweet, cuddly babies they once were.
Unhappy Birthday (from Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms): A dark post for a dark birthday. The author doesn’t want to celebrate her 35th birthday and reflects on where she thought her life would be at 35.
I Licked Him (from My Foxy Family): A fabulous post of trying to discern what is real and what is a dream when the author is finally holding her child in her arms.
This Is It (from Kate in Monet’s Garden): The author sums up a loss perfectly by saying, “We’ll try again. Obviously. But I’ll always have this one with me, in the back of my mind.” A moving post about a baby who should be here.
The Women I Respect The Most (from The Brooding Woman): The author reflects on the two other infertile women in her family — her mother and her aunt — one of whom went on to have children and the other who remained child-free.
A Journey (from Monkey Soup): The author comments that when they chose adoption to grow their family, they didn’t realize how much their outlook on life would be changed by the experience, but happily it was.
Rebellion (from Unexplained Rantings): For years and many miscarriages, the author has not been herself, squelching all of her favourite things in an effort to control the uncontrollable. This is a post about letting go, with gorgeous red locks.
Order (from This was Supposed to be My Symphony): The author’s neatly organized life is turned upside down by infertility, and she explains how painful it is to stand there, waiting your turn, and be left five years later still without a child.
Peeing on Schrödinger’s Cat (from Ova Achiever): An ode to Schrödinger’s pee stick, as the author debates whether or not to test before the beta, worrying that testing early will somehow create the negative, whereas currently she is both pregnant and not pregnant at the same time.
I Am (from Thought Provoking Moments): A poem is created as the author fills out a series of questions answering who she is, what her heart wants in this fight.
Social Media and the Modern Family (from Manapan’s Space): An amazing story about how social media — namely, Facebook — brought the author together with her biological father and half-siblings.
Turning Sour into Sweet (from Searching for Our Silver Lining): Instead of being sour for what went wrong, the author is making life sweet again by taking control of how she views her infertility.
Bigness, Mercy, Unicorns, and Babies (from I Can’t Whistle): An awesome post in the true sense of the word — capturing the awe the author feels watching her child, understanding that time is marching on whether she is ready or not.
Falling While Thinking of Squirrels (from Eighteenyears): A fall during a run drives home an important lesson of never knowing what will come next, hence why we need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Good Grief… Why Do I Feel Guilty? (from Mommyhood After Fertility Frustration): A post exploring the guilt that is inherent in infertility — guilt over the way the author emotionally reacted to their lot, guilt over reaching parenthood when others didn’t, guilt over all the haves and have nots.
Things I Would Say (from Julie’s Junk Drawer): 10 wonderful pieces of advice the author wishes she could go back in time and tell the version of herself from three years ago who was just setting out on her family building journey.
Heaven Will Hold Them (from Teach Me To Braid): A very moving post about the loss of her son; of waiting to tell the nurse he had been born because it brought them closer to the moment when he would be taken away, of viewing the pictures they took and realizing they could never capture the moment.
Overworking It (from My Lazy Ovaries): The author stands at the crossroads, needing to make a decision. Will she go in one direction which includes attempting IVF with donor eggs or will she choose to live child-free? This post unpacks the decision.
A Little Bitter (from Life Of An Army Wife): The author expresses her frustration at learning that a fellow blogger kept her pregnancy a secret for 14 weeks, but then realizes that the lack of support from the blogosphere at times feeds that situation.
July Poem (from Something Out of Nothing): A gorgeous poem about making a child, about making a father out of her husband in the process, about interconnected life.
An Open Letter To Embryo 9B (from Play It All Night Long): This note from mother to embryo will make you laugh, as well as tear up knowing the outcome of the cycle. It’s a post that makes you want to add your voice to the chorus stating: “please, stay.”
So, You Had You a Donor Egg Baby (from Roccie Road): Pretty much the post she expected to write: her child is here, a product of donor eggs, and like his sister before him, he is so busy simply being that the details we fret over rarely enter the day to day world.
Plagiarizing Frankenstein (from A Chick and Eggs): A post that is both tongue-in-cheek and serious as the author ties together her donor egg cycle with Shelley’s Frankenstein.
A Season of Letting Go (from My Unfolding Truth): A message from G-d telling the author to let go becomes an extinguishing of her passionate desire for a second child, and by the end of the post, she realizes that the message has always been to live life in balance, even family building.
A Not-So Fairy Tale Ending (from Emma in Mommyland): Facebook is the catalyst for revisiting the grief the author felt after the birth of her child, when she struggled to hold it together while experiencing postpartum depression and the social media site became a place reminding her of her struggles rather than bringing comfort.
Balance (from Compromised Fertility): A wonderful post about trying to find balance, especially in a situation where there are so many numbers to obsess over and new pieces of information filling the author’s brain daily.
What You Wanted (from Project Progeny): Four simple words — “it’s what you wanted” — become a minefield as the author navigates daily stresses with two children and the voices in her head in tow.
2 DPO – Filling The Slooooooooowness (from Infertility Can Suck It): A random string of amusing thoughts (ghost farts!) filling her brain instead of focusing on the fact that she is once again in the two week wait.
Emotional Thursday (from Lil M’s Adventures): The author reflects on how hard it was to bring her son into the world, the literal and figurative fights, and how sad she feels leaving him during the week when she goes to work.
I’m Not A Failure, Just Infertile (from Ready To Be A Mom): A powerful post explaining how the author feels about IVF, a procedure that helped her create her child, and how she feels when she hears other people claim they would never utilize the science.
How Infertility Has Effed Up My Head (from An Engineer Becomes A Mom): A very thought-provoking take on why the author doesn’t want to get pregnant now, and the steps she is consciously taking to continue to build their family through adoption even if it may end up being the harder path. It’s a complicated thought that ends up making perfect sense.
How to Survive (from Four Plus an Angel): The author explains exactly how she survived the loss of her child, something she believed she would never be able to make it through before it happened, but then realized exactly how to get to the other side with her grief.
The Yellow Blanket Revelation (from Queen of the Slipstream): A wonderful post, the sort that one takes out and reads over and over again to remember the strength they felt on a single day when the author ran the gamut from accepting the idea of living child-free to deciding to move forward with adoption and realizing this was about something so much larger than the two people in the couple.
Happy (from R. Sativus): The author worries that she isn’t explaining herself well in her post, but the reader can immediately understand her relief of leaving a path that wasn’t working and finding herself on a happier road that will hopefully take her where she wants to go.
The Day The Rowing Machine Turned On Me. Along With Everything Else (from Ladyblogalot): The author becomes stuck on her rowing machine after she goes to workout in order to release some of the pent-up emotions she feels about infertility. The way she becomes unstuck feels like a metaphor for how she can navigate the emotional side of infertility.
Birth Part Two: First Week Freak Out (from Survive and Thrive): The author discovers that how she imagined motherhood is not exactly how her first week of trying to feed her baby turned out. The analogy for parenthood that begins the post is spot-on; absolutely perfect.
IF Is Like a Video Game (from Brave IVF Girl): Gamers of the world, listen up: an analogy for infertility that begins, “Infertility is like a video game where no skill is involved, just luck.”
IVF Etiquette (from Journey to Motherhood – My IVF story): Know someone going through infertility? This is a fantastic list of what to NOT say and do.
The Big Announcement (and It’s Not What You Think) (from Altered Type): A powerful post about announcing to friends and family, in no uncertain terms, that family building attempts are done and the couple is now consciously entering a state of being child-free after infertility.
Healthy Scan, Heartfelt Wedding, Hum-dinger Of A Honeymoon (from Becoming Somebody’s Mum): During an exciting, activity-filled time in the author’s life, she pauses to reflect on the pregnancy she is experiencing with her surrogate and enjoy the moment.
I Hate the Word (from Bickerstaff Blog): When infertility feels like a personal attack by the universe, the author reminds herself that this is just life, even if the label for this life is a word that gets under her skin.
To Those Recovering from a Recent Loss (from Ready for My Turn): Time has been the saving grace in healing the wounds felt by the author after a loss, and she passes on that finding to others who are currently struggling to get through a loss.
Calypso’s Beads of Courage (from The Empty Cookie): The author provides a powerful visual story of her daughter’s life and death in the form of a bead necklace that relays each medical moment of her brief life.
How Can a Husband Support His Wife When Undergoing an IVF Cycle? (from A Pursuit to Perpetuate My Genes): 9 pieces of advice of how a person can support their partner who is undergoing IVF on behalf of the couple.
To Dad (from Stupid Stork): A very moving tribute to the father she loved intensely and lost way too soon.
A Legacy (from Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings): As the author gets rid of the tangible baby items now that family building is done, she realizes that these are just objects and the true legacy will be the support and information she’ll pass along to those who come after her.
Semper Fi (from Bereaved and Blessed): The author recounts going to stand along the route to support the motorcade carrying a fallen Marine, and I cried by the time the cars reached her and the enormity of the loss set in.
Lost and Found (from This Cross I Embrace): A very raw and honest post about feeling resentment when other people announce their pregnancies, and how a message came to the author in a prayer.
Bye Bye Babyhood (from Mud Hut Mama): Sometimes the tangible items mean so much more than their intended use. The author explains how a baby carrier became the bridge between the child she lost and the children alive, the receptacle of all her parenting hopes.
The Chrooster and Young Patch (from Pepibebe | Nurturing By Nature): A fabulous story about the author seeing a bit of herself and her partner in one of their chickens, and how with a simple placing of a fertilized egg, they can try to make their chicken’s dreams come true. I loved this story.
Letter to Myself (from CD1 Again): The author writes a letter to herself when she stops attempting treatments, giving herself the permission to mourn and move on.
The Best and Worst Day of My Life (from FrozenOJ’s Concentrated Life): The author takes the reader through a roller coaster of emotions as she gets her long-awaited positive only to start bleeding the next day.
Shades of Gray (from I’m Just Ducky, Thanks): An understanding takes root at the therapist’s office when the author realizes that while she’d like to be the person who educates the world on surrogacy, that may not be what she does best in life. And more importantly, that’s okay.
Harder But Not Worse (from Bionic Mamas): A post to bookmark and return to again and again whenever you’re in the throes of a particularly difficult parenting day, remembering that while some things are harder with a baby, they are rarely worse. And the author so beautiful explains the pain of parenting to the pain of infertility as “that misery as a rain shower is to the oceans.”
Sitting (from My Angel Baby… Aiden William): A beautiful post about how a mother found peace of heart after the loss of her son, finding the answer in the story of Lazerus.
And Then, a Car Backfired… (from Single Infertile Female): An incredible post that will move you from laughter to tears as the author explains how she went from laughing to crying in the doctor’s office.
Why Infertility Sucks! (from My IVF Journey): A wonderful vent-of-a post unleashing all the things she hates about infertility, that ends most poignantly: “I hate thinking I am a failure when I know I am not…”
Opening Up an Old Wound (from Fearlessly Infertile): A breathless post about having a child-free life plan changed when a call comes about a child coming to their family through adoption, and the need to make a decision whether to proceed ahead or keep the status quo.
Elleanor Jolea Is Born (from Desire to Mother): A very raw and truthful post about being deeply excited and saddened by a friend’s baby’s arrival. It’s about loving and coveting at the same time.
Here Get Pregnant and Take Your Meds (from Adventures, Dreams and Other Painful Things): A frustrating conversation between patient and doctor, where the author is at peace with the idea of a hysterectomy in order to finally put an end to the extreme pain, and the doctor spends the appointment trying to talk her out of the surgery.
Grateful Remorse (from Hapa Hopes): A wonderful, sweet, tiny post capturing a moment of gratitude between husband and wife.
How Life Changes in Two Short (but long) Years (from A Road Well Traveled): What a difference two years makes. The author takes the reader through an early loss to a first set of twin girls, and now continues the story with another set of twins on the way.
I Am Infertile (from Waiting to Expand): As much as the author doesn’t want infertility to be part of her identity and it isn’t a word she wants to use to define herself, infertility is part of who she is and always will be, even after the family building part of her journey ends.
Remembering (from The Chronicles of Violetta Margarita): A sweet post, especially knowing the outcome of the cycle, as the author writes her future child and begs them to stay this time around when they couldn’t before.
Left Behind (from Where Love and Chaos Reign): A breathtaking opening — “Infertility is a thief. It steals so much from so many. And while it gives in many ways, it often gives only to take away again.” — moves into a post about being left behind as friends conceive. An analogy for navigating friendships and infertility.
Trip to London – Day 2 – Coldcon! (from Elana’s Musings): A fun post about meeting some of her favourite people from Merlin at ColdCon in London, making the long trip from the US to England beyond worth it.
A Closer Look (from Window Into Our World): A powerful post that begs the reader to take a closer look at the pink ribbon campaign and learn about what the pink ribbon means instead of affixing it to a lapel and assuming its history.
Wasting Time (from Slaying, Blogging, Whatever…): The extraordinariness of the ordinary; just a mother and child enjoying an hour together, the tiny pleasures and the profound enormity.
Coming To Terms: Honey Lavender Ice Cream (from A Half Baked Life): The author tries to find peace with the idea of stillness, of waiting in the center of the chaos and observing, breathing. She longs for the feeling of movement, knowing at the same time that life often contains these pauses and they — like all other things — are there for a reason if we allow them to serve a purpose.
Next Steps (from Tales of A Cautious Optimist): The author proceeds into her next cycle in shock that the first IVF and FET didn’t work, but she finds comfort in the change in protocol, the entire team shouldering the burden.
The Same (from Here We Go Again): The same bed in the hospital is the birthplace of the author’s two sons; the one who is here and the one who isn’t. The post will make you hold your breath for a moment.
No Man Left Behind (from Mission 2 B a Mom): An important reminder that within all couples, there are two people going through infertility even if the procedures and tests are only being performed on one body. The author cautions not forget the other person on the emotional landscape.
Never Change (from Baby Smiling In Back Seat): The author hasn’t changed visually from her high school days, down to the clothing she’s wearing when she unpacks this fact, though readers will think about the hidden ways we all change over the years.
PSA: Freeze Your Eggs (from Yo-Yo-Mama.com): Once the author receives a 30% chance of getting pregnant from the doctor, she wishes she had taken out an insurance policy on her future fertility and froze her eggs. She offers out this thought to readers to hopefully save them from what she is going through with her diagnosis.
The Pain That Remains (from I Am The Genetic Mule): The author explores the pain of a failed IVF cycle, explaining that it began when she thought of those embryos as promises of future children, and when that didn’t come to be, it was more than just a loss of cluster of cells.
Learning to Fail (from Persnickety Chickadee): As adults, we build our lives around avoiding failure, choosing not to do things that we know we don’t do well. And then we discover we are infertile and simply avoiding family building is not an option. The author explains why infertility hits her so hard emotionally.
Do We Really Choose? (from No Kidding in NZ): The author explains that she sees the choice to live child-free as not really a choice at all; it was the outcome of her limitations and situation. The choice comes later, when she decides how she wants to live her life, joyfully and looking forward instead of backward.
The Silent Misery of Miscarriage (from Rainbows and Rainshowers): The author explains why she doesn’t talk about miscarriages with the people in her face-to-face world though she takes great comfort from writing about them online.
Thank You, Leslie Brown (from Life As I Know It): An ode to Lesley Brown, from one IVF mother to another. The author thanks the first woman to conceive via IVF, as well as remembers the women who went through IVF cycles at the same time and didn’t conceive their baby.
Doing The Math (from Somewhere In The Middle): Though the author struggles with math on paper, her brain automatically and effortlessly calculates the dates and time spans she doesn’t want to think about.
Lucky 13 (from My Life with Endo & Infertility): An unlucky number starts to feel more fortuitous as it pops up in many places, making the author realize that 2013 could be her year to get her heart’s desire.
Homestretch Anxiety (from Relaxed No More): A very honest post about the anxiety that grips the author prior to the birth of her long-awaited child, a child that she worked hard to create and yet can’t help but feel fearful as she faces the unknown of what parenting will actually be like.
Single Motherhood At My Age: My Reality (from My Preconceived Notion): Growing old is hard, the author points out, as she goes through what is happening right now, compounded by the fact that her pain spills over into the choices she makes as a parent without a second set of hands around to help. It’s an honest post about growing older; a venting that needed to happen.
Happy New Year! (from Life with Endo and PCOS): A very happy New Years Day post from exactly one year ago today, stating the author’s simple hopes for the coming year.
Obsessed with Babies (from My Cheap Version of Therapy): The author explains how her anxiety and focus has lessened now that her child is here, moving from occupying most of her waking thoughts and energy when they were trying to conceive, to now being a soft sound in the background as she is parenting.
Be Brave (from Wee Hermione): The author promises the reader that we’re stronger than we give ourselves credit for, and that her bravery is simply an act of committing to what she wants and going for it without regrets.
It’s Like Riding a Craptastic Bicycle (from Wonderfully Ordinary): Bicycle riding becomes an analogy for what it is like to return to treatments after being successful once, from quickly growing accustomed again to injections to that fear that you could always land face down on the figurative concrete.
Prison Blues (from Weathering Storms): An emotional and honest post about the author’s open adoption situation, which includes navigating a relationship with her son’s birthmother who is currently in jail. This wasn’t how she imagined open adoption, and yet she stays true to her beliefs for what she wants for her son.
I Need People to Understand This (from Catching Our Rainbow): The author writes a passionate plea for understanding that she is not waiting to become a mother. She started parenting the moment she saw those two lines on the pregnancy test, even if her children left her way too soon.
Superman, Batman, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (from Old Lady and No Baby): Two sisters, one the egg donor and one the egg receiver, get superhero socks to wear on the day of their procedures, bringing levity (and hopefully some superhuman power) to an emotional situation.
Note to Self: Don’t Look at Me (from Will CarryOn): An emotional post about the days after the loss of the author’s twins, when her milk came in despite efforts to stave off its presence. A post about how she feels about her body, how she can no longer look down at it with the happiness she felt weeks earlier.
Calls to Sterilize Parents of Children Locked in Hot Car Are Wrong and Misplaced (from Cora’s Story): A moving plea asking readers to stop judging parents who lose their children, even those whose children die due to human error. To put that energy instead into helping prevent future deaths from happening rather than condemning those who are already grieving.
It Takes A Village (from Res Cogitatae): Parenthood has changed the way the author views family; has changed the way she views physical distance and what she wants now in regards to her relationships. It’s a beautiful post to end the Creme on, that will hopefully make you also reflect on what is important to you this upcoming year.

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