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661st Friday Blog Roundup

There are some weeks where the only infertility reminders I have come from my own life, and other weeks where it feels like everyone and their mother are talking about uteruses.

This is one of those uterus-heavy weeks.

First Carolyn Hax had advice from someone who is sick of being asked why she doesn’t adopt when she tells people she is going through infertility.  I actually loved it for the answer she suggests the person give when people ask her if she’s planning on having kids, suggesting that she doesn’t share her infertility with everyone:

They: “Are you planning to have kids?”

You: “Ooh, we get asked that a lot.”

If your questioner doesn’t accept that as an answer and presses for more, then you say: “We get asked that a lot.” A little eyebrow-raise says, “Get it?”

Um, I love that.  It fits for everything.

The other was a more touching piece about a dad who pushed an empty stroller during a marathon to raise awareness for loss after his child was born still.  Of course, the reaction proved how desperately that awareness is needed.

“Every time, ‘Hey mate you lost your kid,’ it took a good mate beside me to have a chat so my bottom lip didn’t tremble, as I would try think up quick ways of saying, ‘Yes, I have lost my kid and I am not getting him back,'” he wrote. “As the run continued the onslaught was relentless, crossing over to the second lap I hear on the loud speaker … ‘Here comes old mate and it looks like he lost his kid,’ more giggles from the crowd.”

The post made me cry.  I’m so grateful that he did this and got people thinking.

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Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Road Less Travelled has a post with a title that gave me pause: “Some people get what they want and some don’t.”  The words come from a book she is reading, and she unpacks it by making the point: this is our life-long work.  Not to necessarily be happy with what we don’t have or what didn’t happen, but to at least live in a place of peace with it.  It’s a simple idea but hard to put into practice.

Bent Not Broken has a post about an uncomfortable moment at the gym.  She writes, “Did the man intend to intimidate me? This question is harder to answer. I don’t think there was necessarily intent, but there was definitely an air of superiority and entitlement present in his actions that led to me being intimidated enough to leave.”  I think this post will hit home for a lot of women.

Lastly, Different Shores has a post highlighting a recent infertility piece in the Guardian that didn’t end with a baby.  I love this thought she included: “her experience has allowed her to see life as ‘less of a string of acquisitions (husband, children, real estate, career accolades, objects)’ and find contentment and satisfaction in what she has.”  A nice end-piece to The Road Less Travelled’s post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Good answers and thought-provoking actions.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 8th and 15th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

9 comments

1 loribeth { 09.15.17 at 8:41 am }

Viva La Vida just posted one of the most heartbreaking posts I think I have ever read… there seems to be something “off” with the setup of her blog, but you can copy & paste the copy into a Word doc to read more easily. (It does read fine in my blog reader on my phone.) She could really use our support and good thoughts for her future right now. 🙁

https://mrthompsonandme.blogspot.ca/2017/09/may-i-please-have-order-of-heartbreak.html

2 loribeth { 09.15.17 at 8:45 am }

Forgot to say, I read the Carolyn Hax column too, and thought it was a brilliant response. 🙂 The story about the dad with the empty stroller was so incredibly sad, but I hope it gets people thinking. And thank you for the shoutout! 🙂

3 dubliner in deutschland { 09.15.17 at 10:24 am }

oh gosh, that story about the father who had a stillborn child is so sad. Heartbreaking

4 Cristy { 09.15.17 at 11:05 am }

I cried reading the empty stroller story too. The responses from people were really profound. I wish he had had more people like the first responder.

My recommendations for second helpings:
http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2017/09/the-bad-mother/
https://lavenderluz.com/2017/09/sacrificing-outrage.html
https://mamjojo23.wordpress.com/2017/09/11/how-we-react/
http://mypathtomommyhood.blogspot.com/2017/09/a-weird-vicarious-two-week-wait.html

5 Lori Lavender Luz { 09.15.17 at 2:49 pm }

The stroller/marathon scene has me sobbing.

Off to do my Friday reading. Thank for doing this 661 times! (and counting.

6 Amber { 09.16.17 at 12:53 am }

What a hard race that must have been for that father, but hopefully it brought him a sense of peace as well.

7 Mali { 09.17.17 at 8:53 pm }

I love this post. I hadn’t read about the response, “we get asked that a lot” but I love it! And the stroller run is very sad.

I am also quite proud that all the posts you chose this week come from No Kidding bloggers. There’s some great writing in our wee section of this community.

8 Jess { 09.19.17 at 9:20 pm }

Oh, the empty stroller. Wow, such a great way to raise awareness but so very sad. I am in love with the “We get asked that a lot” response to “do you have kids?” but I fear I lack the self-control to leave it at that. The verbal vomit gets me every time.

My second helping picks:
https://lavenderluz.com/2017/09/sacrificing-outrage.html LOVED this so much, a real thinker.

http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2017/09/living-an-ordinary-life
I loved this post so much and will be sharing the ideas behind it with my students, that contributing to something bigger than yourself without being larger than life is totally worthwhile. I especially agree with the social media aspect warping what a successful life looks like.

9 Different Shores { 09.20.17 at 6:12 am }

Just read the post Loribeth suggested above (https://mrthompsonandme.blogspot.ca/2017/09/may-i-please-have-order-of-heartbreak.html) – wow, heartbreaking is right. I’ve followed Daily Doses; there’s some hard-hitting, poignant stuff there: she’s a great writer going through some really tough times.

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