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Where are the Boys?

It occurred to me this morning that many years ago, there was a thriving male blogger population.  There was Eric and Max and the DI-Dads.  There was Smarshy with his own bag of ass.  There was Fertile Frank, XBox4NappyRash, and Elm City Dad.  They weren’t guest posting on their wife’s blog or splitting the writing duties with a partner.  They were bloggers, on their own, full stop.

I guess I thought about them because Father’s Day is coming up.  Actually, I think I thought about them because Julie from A Little Pregnant was in my dream last night.  Not that Julie has anything to do with male bloggers.

Anyway, there are a lot of posts in the ALI community right before and during and after Mother’s Day about the difficulty of that Hallmark holiday.  But I rarely see a Father’s Day post.  The men who used to write about it are gone.

I’m still friends with Eric on Facebook (hi, Eric!).  Max died many years ago.  And the rest of the boys drifted away from blogging.  Some stated they were shutting their blog — I remember one writing that his wife was uncomfortable that he was writing about IVF — but most just stopped updating.  And then no one came to fill those missing slots.

Or maybe they did and I just haven’t found them.  Maybe they’re out there, a new, connected mass of male infertility and loss bloggers, all writing about their experiences.  They don’t know about me, and I don’t know about them.

I kind of like that idea, similar to the concept that in other solar systems, there are planets just like earth in their own Goldilocks zone.  We don’t know them, and they don’t know us.  But we both move in our respective orbits, little rocky balls floating in the sky, teaming with life.

Do you guys remember the male infertility bloggers?  Are you in touch with any of them?

P.S. Speaking of trips down memory lane, I went on DI Dad to see if he still had up Max’s Don’t Be a Wanker badge, and I saw the badge from the 2008 IF Film Festival!  Which led me to Cyclesista.  Do you guys remember Cyclesista?  I’m really down a wormhole this morning…

7 comments

1 Delenn { 06.14.17 at 7:25 am }

I love this post…its like going down memory lane. I always wonder about people after they stop their blog…they let me into a part of life….and then, like that, they are gone. I miss those bloggers too! Would love updates! And yes, all those cycle sisters…Miss them too! And Lost and Found! Ohhh…I hope that some of them are reading this post and update in comments!

2 Gil { 06.14.17 at 7:35 am }

I miss Max. I miss Frank. Smarshy! DI Dad! And Cyclesista… that was my era of blogging. Those men were a huge part of our collective and they are missed. I have no idea if others have taken their place; life has consumed me and there are some days I barely come up for air. But seeing this post brought a tear to my eye and many memories came flooding back. On a related note: because Max’s wife, Vee, and I had the same due date, we have stayed in close touch as our kids have grown. We hope to travel to visit them in 2019 so we can finally meet in person! Bucket list item for sure. Sending hugs Mel. Today and always. And thank you for bringing these wonderful men to mind today.

3 B { 06.14.17 at 8:13 am }

I remember them. Especially Max. And the IIFF! And cyclesista….

4 Oro { 06.14.17 at 8:15 am }

Wow, I remember a lot of those bloggers. Funny how time passes. I’d bet most of them are on facebook, now.

5 Karen { 06.14.17 at 9:10 am }

Oh wow. Max. Cyclesista. Smarshy! The IF Film Festival! Wow. That doesn’t seem that long ago but it was more than a decade, whaaaaaat?

I found that Jeff was pretty stoic about Father’s Day – he looked at the day as a way to celebrate HIS father. That said, when we were in the thick of it and losing hope I remember a Father’s Day where our infertility really affected him.

6 loribeth { 06.14.17 at 11:05 am }

I don’t think I ever read Max’s blog, but I certainly remember him & Vee, and Elm City Dad, who wrote so beautifully. There was another dad who wrote a book about his experiences, but I forget his name now. And Josh from Jack at Random, who wrote about the loss of his daughter Margot. He still pops up with a new post once a year or so. I do wonder about all the now-silent bloggers still on my blogroll & in my reader, and how they are doing now.

7 Working mom of 2 { 06.14.17 at 3:02 pm }

Huh, I never read or even came across any male IF bloggers over the ten years I’ve been reading blogs.

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