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#MicroblogMondays 126: Shower Cries

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I miss Truman.  I am not shy about crying in front of the kids or Josh.  I am not shy about crying in public.  I cried in the grocery store buying parsley because it was unusually crisp, and it made me so sad to think about making soup stock without my baby wheeking through the whole thing.

I cry when I’m driving, especially if I see someone walking their dog.  I am aware that Truman wasn’t a dog, but that person has their pet and I don’t.  I cry when I walk downstairs and there is no one greeting me in the morning, and I cry when I look in the corner of the room and realize anew that there is no one to say goodnight to in the living room.

But I mostly cry in the shower.  I am a shower crier.  Sometimes I can feel my sadness or frustration building in the morning, and I wait to shower until it feels like every emotion is going to spill over.  Then I get under the water and wail.  I’m not just saying now, mourning Truman, but always.  I have always been a shower crier.

Do you cry in the shower, too?  Is it safe because you’re alone?  Because the sound of the water covers up any sounds of tears?  Because you can wash your face before stepping back out of the bathroom and facing the day?


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1. Shilpa 11. the OCD infertile 21. Mali (A Separate Life)
2. Ms. Infertile 12. Unpregnant Chicken 22. Mali (No Kidding)
3. Middle Girl 13. Different Shores 23. Nonsequiturchica
4. Lori@ Laughing IS Conceivable 14. Turia 24. Jess
5. Modern Gypsy 15. Stephanie (Travelcraft Journal) 25. Jenn P
6. Raven 16. Traci York, Writer 26. Cyn K
7. Pom 17. Loribeth (The Road Less Travelled) 27. Persnickety
8. Risa Kerslake 18. Chandra Lynn (Pics and Post) 28. Empty Arms, Broken Heart
9. Isabelle 19. Just Heather 29. Anks
10. Parul Thakur | Happiness & Food 20. Virg� nia


1 Beth { 01.23.17 at 5:59 am }

Yes. I am absolutely a shower crier. It feels good to let it go and step out, clean and empty of tears, and try to keep moving forward. I hope that the crying is easing or releasing some of your pain. Losing a family member unexpectedly is a rip-your-guts out kind of awful.

2 Shilpa { 01.23.17 at 6:26 am }

I am also a shower crier , I don’t like people seeing me breaking down so whenever I m not able to control or things go worst , bathroom is the place for me.

3 Middle Girl { 01.23.17 at 8:09 am }

Yes, I am a shower crier.

4 Lori Shandle-Fox { 01.23.17 at 8:20 am }

The shower has been a safe haven for me since I was in college in the middle of NYC, sharing a 9×12 dorm room with 2 other girls. It was the only place I could be alone. I’m not much of a crier, but the shower’s as good a place as any where my kids don’t have to witness it.

5 torthuil { 01.23.17 at 8:50 am }

I agree, the shower is a very emotional place. I use to cry in the shower when pregnant, in particular. Not because of sadness necessarily, but because the tension would be released. Sorry that you had to say goodbye to Truman and that it is so hard.

6 Cristy { 01.23.17 at 9:09 am }

I cry everywhere too. But my bed is the safe haven where I also everything to wash over me. That said, I also believe in the power of water for release.

Thinking of you all. Wrapping you in love.

7 Modern Gypsy { 01.23.17 at 9:24 am }

Losing a pet is one of the hardest things in the world! The shower is where I shed many a tear for my cat Pepo when she died a few years ago. Sending you love as you deal with the loss of Truman.

8 Raven { 01.23.17 at 9:44 am }

I am more a bed time crier. Or a middle of the night crier. There is something about laying in my bed, trying to unwind and fall asleep, and feeling everything but my grief melt away. If I cry, and let it out, then the pressure will ease and I can finally sleep.

Sending love to you during this time!! It is not the size of the pet that matters, but the size of the love – and as a long time blog reader, it is obvious that your love for Truman (and his love for you) was immeasurable.

9 Risa Kerslake { 01.23.17 at 10:06 am }

Yes, I’m a shower crier. Sending you a hug.

10 Isabelle { 01.23.17 at 10:13 am }

I am an everywhere crier, but I don’t remember crying in the shower in particular. I think I more likely cry in bed than anywhere else. Sending you love, Mel.

11 Ashley { 01.23.17 at 11:21 am }

Yes, the shower has washed away many of my tears. While I do cry other places (although I try not to) the shower is a safe space for my ugly cries, the deep gut-wrenching tears and sob-fests. Huddling under the warm water pouring down on you and just letting it all out can be cathartic for me. I hope your shower tears help you as you mourn the loss of Truman.

12 Parul Thakur { 01.23.17 at 11:21 am }

I can cry at the drop of a hat and there have been those days of crying in the shower. Not something that I do regularly but yes I do.

13 Lavonne @ the OCD infertile { 01.23.17 at 11:42 am }

I have cried in the shower for sure, but I am usually a bed time crier. Usually I can hold everything together as long as I’m upright, but as soon as I lay down at night, I totally lose it. (hugs) to you my dear. I know how devastating the loss of a pet can be. May you find peace.

14 Kaeleigh { 01.23.17 at 12:02 pm }

Yeah crying in the shower is so cathartic. It feels good to have the hot tears mixing with the hot water and it’s almost soothing like being wrapped in a warm hug. It’s very hard to lose a beloved pet. I feel ya. Sending love.

15 Different Shores { 01.23.17 at 12:43 pm }

My pet (dog) died over twenty years ago but I still think about her all the time, and dream about her; I think she was the love of my life. I’d kill to see her again.

16 Turia { 01.23.17 at 2:00 pm }

I have become a shower crier in that I don’t like my kids (E in particular) seeing me cry and I had SO MUCH to cry about over the last year. I tended to bottle it all up and then have a cry in the shower and then get on with things. Before the mess that was 2016 I was more of a “cry at movies and when reading books” sort of person- using entertainment to release tension. I have a few books that I will reread just because I know I need to have a good cry. (I also cry a lot when hangry but that’s different.)

17 nonsequiturchica { 01.23.17 at 3:11 pm }

I cry more often at night before going to bed than the shower. I’m so sorry to hear about Truman! Losing part of your family is so difficult. Sending hugs!!

18 Stephanie (Travelcraft Journal) { 01.23.17 at 3:26 pm }

Mel, I’m so sorry. That is really sad.

I agree that the shower is a good place to cry. I’m a messy crier, and the water just washes everything away.

19 Pom { 01.23.17 at 4:00 pm }

So sorry for your loss. 🙁

20 Traci York { 01.23.17 at 4:58 pm }

I teared up just reading about Truman! I’m so sorry to hear he’s gone, Mel. Sending lots of positive energy to you and your family. And yes, I’m a shower crier, a couch crier, a car crier, a store crier… my family actually calls me the designated crier, because I’m inevitably the only one sobbing at some sentimental moment on screen during family movie night.

21 loribeth { 01.23.17 at 5:07 pm }

I have cried in the shower, but then, I can & will cry just about anywhere. Sending (((hugs))).

22 Chandra Lynn { 01.23.17 at 5:23 pm }

So sorry to hear about Truman. Sending you hugs. And yep, I’ve cried in the shower. Cleansing on the inside and out.

23 JustHeather { 01.23.17 at 5:53 pm }

I’m sometimes a shower crier, but really, anywhere is where it happens. Liking it or caring that I am crying is a different story.

24 Lori Lavender Luz { 01.23.17 at 6:21 pm }

It’s such a private time, and crying in the shower makes me feel like I can pour pour pour pour pour forth and my tears mix with the warm water and I lose track of how many tears come out of me it feels like so many, so many, and it all goes down the drain.

I’m holding space for you as you grieve the loss of Truman {{{Mel}}}

25 Mali { 01.23.17 at 6:57 pm }

Absolutely a shower crier. I discovered shower crying during my first ectopic, and it continued through second and infertility and no kids. It’s somewhere completely private where you can just let it go. I remember crying in the gym shower at lunchtimes, so I could go back to work feeling refreshed.

26 Jess { 01.23.17 at 7:45 pm }

Oh, Mel. I’m so very sorry for your loss, for the empty spaces Truman has left.

I do cry in the shower, because it’s private and there’s water everywhere anyway, so it’s sort of cleansing in all sorts of ways. I tend to like to disappear somewhere alone to cry, I don’t like witnesses to my sobs unless I can’t help it at all, so the shower works quite nicely and sometimes no one has to know.

27 Persnickety { 01.24.17 at 6:40 am }

Not a shower cryer! I tend to cry in my bed instead and Then take a shower. Not sure why

28 Anks { 01.24.17 at 11:31 am }

I cry every where… and I mean every where… even in public! Hope you start to feel better soon Mel…

29 a { 01.24.17 at 5:26 pm }

I wish I had something comforting to say… 🙁

30 Charlotte { 01.25.17 at 8:52 am }

I tend to be a car crier, but only when I’m alone. Usually music is my trigger, especially Christmas music (or more specifically certain Christmas songs) and it’s usually because things have been building up and I need a good cry.

31 Deathstar { 01.25.17 at 9:36 pm }

I’m not much of a crier at all. But when I do cry, it’s usually out of sheer panic or anxiety, which thank goodness doesn’t happen very much anymore. Crying makes me feel like shit. Unless it’s over a video about a dog surviving hell. Like Charlotte, it’s songs that make me cry, songs that remind me of my loss.

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