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The Day After

This is not the post I thought I would write.  But in retrospect, especially after the Brexit vote, I’m not sure why I thought otherwise.


The cold, grey rain outside matches the mood in the house.  We went to bed last night at 1 am.  We didn’t know the results until we woke up this morning.

I tried to explain what happened to the kids, but I failed, miserably.  Their fears are very concrete: What will happen to the marriages of gay family members?  What will happen to their Muslim friend?  Our fears are a lot more amorphous, and the only answer we’ve found is that we just don’t know.

I wish I had better words, but they’re really failing me this morning.


1 Valery { 11.09.16 at 8:05 am }

I’m so sorry that after waking up the nightmare isn’t over.
Even here in Europe we are afraid of what it really means and what world we live in.
Hugs for all of you.

2 Candice { 11.09.16 at 8:11 am }

I have no words. Just shock and heartbreak.

3 Lori Shandle-Fox { 11.09.16 at 8:24 am }

What a shame that when people want change, so many think ANY change is good. xoxo

4 katherinea12 { 11.09.16 at 8:33 am }

I wish I could say I’m shocked, but I live in a red state and I’ve been dreading/worrying about this for awhile. Unfortunately, it’s been quite easy to imagine (heck, I’ve been living unhappily under Pence since he was elected governor, soooo….). I hoped this disaster wouldn’t come to pass though. I’m genuinely afraid. So much here is unknown and what little I do think I might know isn’t good.

5 Rebecca { 11.09.16 at 9:01 am }

There really are no words. I feel so sick to think that we could have given the presidency to such a man. I’m sure our country will survive, but what damages will it sustain? My heart is so heavy today, and I’m holding my baby girl that much more closely.

6 SRB { 11.09.16 at 9:01 am }

I cried myself to sleep at 3:30 this morning. I sent my boys to school with a mandate to be kind and respectful of everyone they meet today. Sending you love from Canada.

7 Jen@FrugalSteppingStones { 11.09.16 at 9:05 am }

I am sick at heart.

8 loribeth { 11.09.16 at 9:27 am }

It feels like the world is falling apart. 🙁

I am trying to take solace in a quote I found this morning from Tennyson (Ulysses, 1842):

Come, my friends.
‘Tis not too late to seek a newer world…
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, and that which we are, we are,
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield.

9 Working mom of 2 { 11.09.16 at 9:45 am }


10 Alexicographer { 11.09.16 at 10:29 am }

I have little positive to say. You’ll know I was one of the ones … well, let’s just say I’m horrified, but not surprised. Like you, I’m trying to talk to my kid about what this means in a way that doesn’t give him nightmares. Obviously there is plenty to be vastly worried about and I do not minimize that. At the same time, the amazing thing about the US democracy is the way in which it allows for peaceful transfer of power … and governance … even in the face of deep disagreements. Don’t get me wrong, I realize that’s “the surface” and that there’s still plenty (plenty) to be worried about, but I think this will be one of the points I will talk with my son about this evening. Also, my husband lived through the 1960s — Kennedy’s victory over Nixon is the first presidential election he remembers when he was about the age our son is now. His concerns growing up included (among others) being drafted for Vietnam, and while he didn’t live in the US South then, this was all of course going on against the horrible violence perpetrated against those working to advance the Civil Rights movement (and Kennedy’s assassination and …). So — not to downplay the horror of the present, but I think, too, that I will remind my son that his father lived through those things and can provide some perspective. Finally, we will talk about some of the things that worry us about Trump and I think try to pick one of those that we can work in some small way in and/or through our community to help those negatively affected. Disclaimer — we are heterosexual white, middle-class U.S. citizens of Christian heritage if not faith, though we have close family members who are gay, so obviously less directly affected in the short run by the horror of President Trump than are many others and again, I don’t mean to minimize that, but it’s the context within which I personally am working as I speak to my own kid about this and I want to acknowledge that.

11 Cristy { 11.09.16 at 10:57 am }

Hugs Mel. I’m hurting too.

12 dubliner in deutschland { 11.09.16 at 11:03 am }

It’s a sad day.

13 Charlotte { 11.09.16 at 11:06 am }

“Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House, but on what happens in YOUR house. ”

-James E. Faust

14 Raven { 11.09.16 at 11:22 am }

Here in Canada, we are just as shocked and scared and hurting. I just cannot imagine why anyone would vote for someone who is so vocal about his backwards, hateful, dangerous opinions. It is terrifying…truly terrifying and my heart aches for all of the Americans who now fear for their safety and basic rights in a country they once loved. He is going to propel us from 2016, back into 1945 and I am so sad for what this will do for LGBT, minority and women’s rights. I just pray that his colleagues are able to influence or control him enough that we can get through these next 4 years relatively unscathed…

I wish Canada could have voted too (since so much of what he does will effect us too). It’s a sad, scary time for us all.

15 Peg { 11.09.16 at 11:40 am }

Lots of tears and disbelief in our house. I think I failed miserably in explaining away their fears. I am completely in shock and feel the same way I did the day after 9-11. Our kids deserve better than this.

16 Turia { 11.09.16 at 12:00 pm }

Oh, Mel. We are hurting here in Canada too. I have cried so much today. It is so terrifying and so damaging and so discouraging to see just how much hate and fear and ignorance exists.

17 Beth { 11.09.16 at 12:21 pm }

I keep crying. How did this happen? How is there so much hate? I really believed it when I told my daughters we were voting together for our first woman president. What do I tell them now except be kind. I have said that about 100 times today. Please, we are kind.

18 Jana { 11.09.16 at 12:59 pm }

I’m not surprised at all – I know enough people in red states to know how things were going. But I am so incredibly disappointed about the way misogyny continues to reign, and that no one in the media is talking about it as the hidden factor in the polls. It’s the humongous elephant in the room. Had Hillary been a man, she would have won this election easily. People (male and female) – white people at least – still cannot accept the idea of a woman as president.

19 Sharon { 11.09.16 at 1:31 pm }

I have seen this coming for months and yet am still a bit incredulous that so many think that this individual is the right choice. I am sickened and sad and disappointed in my fellow American citizens. G-d help us.

20 Emma @ Muddy Boots and Diamonds { 11.09.16 at 2:41 pm }

I’m heartbroken, sick, and angry, but not surprised. There were hidden factors this election. Ones that people don’t like discussing in public. Misogyny was one, as Jana said. Racism was another, that many people danced around last night while trying to figure out what was happening.

I know many people who voted Trump did so with policy in mind vs who he is as a person. That also played a large factor, and now we await the inauguration of a bully. The very type of person so many of us are trying to teach our kids not to be or put up with. It’s baffling to me because that’s not okay. But I hope that the other people elected to their offices have class and a vision that isn’t as hateful or oppressive as Trump’s appears to be for many of us.

21 Ashleigh { 11.09.16 at 3:07 pm }

Disappointing, discouraging, disgusting, maddening… doesn’t begin to cover it.

22 Betty M { 11.09.16 at 3:28 pm }

Hugely disappointed here in Brexitland too. But even Brexit voters here baulk at Trump. He just seems so woefully unqualified for the job.

23 Journeywoman { 11.09.16 at 5:56 pm }

We’ve been crying here too.

24 Geochivk { 11.09.16 at 6:20 pm }

I couldn’t watch her speech this morning without breaking down. I did not think he would win. Not for one second.

25 Jess { 11.09.16 at 7:39 pm }

I refused to believe it until Pennsylvania was lost. I kept hoping an alternate outcome was possible. I cried. And then I cried some more this morning. And then I was in a sad mood all day, as some of my students celebrated this “new America” and some of my students (notably those who AREN’T WHITE) told me they were “feeling depressed.” Me, too. Not going anywhere, because you’re right, we need to stay and make sure that things don’t go the doomsday way I fear. And I have A LOT OF FEARS concerning this man as President, the most unqualified, wild card, president EVER. I think of how we teach character as well as content at school and he is lacking so much in that arena. I hope he can be a President to everyone, considering he slurred just about every group that exists during his campaign. Ugh.

26 Lori Lavender Luz { 11.09.16 at 9:02 pm }

What Lori Shandle-Fox said.

Abiding as we all figure it out.

27 mijk { 11.10.16 at 6:57 am }

It is the brexit all over but scarier here in the Netherlands. It is so fucking scary for the whole world. And I can’t imagine how scared it must be to live there. I found it hard to find my footing and then all out send me a donationrequest and I remebered all the good people are still there too!!!!

28 Heather { 11.10.16 at 1:28 pm }

Us in South Africa are appalled too. But our president is no better – he had rape charges against him. He also is very corrupt. Lots of people are calling for him to go. The wheel will turn…

29 a { 11.15.16 at 4:34 pm }

What WorkingMomof2 said…

It’s just now that I feel capable of commenting anything other than that, though…almost a week.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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