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Have We Done Enough?

Every time I throw a dinner party, we end up with too many leftover desserts.  What happens is that I start with a realistic menu based on the number of people attending the meal.  Then I add an extra dish or two because I worry that the table will not look full or people won’t be able to find something they like or it just won’t be… enough.  It won’t fulfill an abstract concept of enoughness.

Then I plan for a dessert or two, and quickly start increasing the number of desserts and the size of those desserts because I am (1) worried that people will still be hungry after dinner and (2) worried that it won’t be enough.

For Rosh HaShanah, for instance, I made it so that each person at the table could eat nine cookies.  Nine.  Oh, and did I mention they were enormous chocolate chip cookies — only six fit on a cookie sheet.  But people could have nine of them.  People were full from the over-sized meal.  They barely made a dent in the cookies on the table.

In my defense, it’s sometimes hard to judge what people want, or to know whether or not you’ve done enough except in retrospect.


I am worried about Tuesday.  I’m worried about this election in a way that I’ve never been worried before.  I wasn’t a fan of Romney or McCain, but I was never scared listening to them speak.  I knew they could lead the country, and any problems they created were fixable issues.

But this election is different.

I am terrified of Trump’s America.  I want to believe the polls that place Hillary ahead, but polls are like promises — people may keep them… or they may not.  We don’t know definitively which way this election will go, and I am scared that people have become complacent.  I’ve heard too many people say things like, “Well, I don’t want Trump, but I don’t want to vote for Hillary, so I’ll just leave that part of the ballot blank.”  Or not vote at all.  And I’ve heard too many people say things like, “Don’t worry, Hillary has got this.”  I equally fear that people will not vote, trusting that other people’s votes will keep Trump out of office.

The only way to ensure that Trump does not end up in the White House is to band together and not hand Trump the keys to the White House.

The most direct, proven-to-work path is to vote for Clinton.  Anything short of that is continuing the possibility of a Trump White House.  I’m not saying that because I want Clinton in the White House.  I am saying that because if no one gets enough electoral votes, the House of Representatives chooses our next president, picking from the three top candidates.  I bolded that because I don’t want you to miss those words.  Each state gets one vote, but the House is made up of 246 Republicans and 186 Democrats.  If you choose not to vote for Clinton, you are, effectively, creating the possibility of a Trump White House.

This isn’t about likeability.  This isn’t about emails or holding one person accountable for all human errors.  This is about the opposite scenario, and Magpie says it best:

I’m worried about the possibility of our country being led by a man who has admitted sexual assault, who has used his foundation for personal gain, who’s on trial for fraud with regard to Trump University, who hasn’t released his taxes (because he doesn’t want to show us that he hasn’t paid any), who has called for the ban of an entire religion from entering the US, who belittled John McCain for being a POW, who’s called Mexicans rapists, who attacked a beauty pageant winner for being overweight, who wonders why we can’t use the nuclear weapons we have, who thinks women who have abortions should be punished, who makes fun of disabled people, who disregards the First Amendment and wants an end to freedom of the press, who thinks global warming is a Chinese hoax, who loves Putin, who doesn’t pay his contractors, who … do I need to go on?

So I worry.  I worry about whether I have done enough in doing my part to help ensure that we get someone into the White House who is not going to scapegoat whole groups of people.  I worry about whether there is something more I can do between now and Tuesday night.  I worry about everyone else — will they do enough to stamp out hatred, or will they leave the door open for a possible Trump White House?

We’ll know within 72 hours.


1 Nicoleandmaggie { 11.06.16 at 7:46 am }

There’s also a great and easy case to be made for Clinton. I can’t believe so many people believe the misinformation out there. But I guess the media isn’t helping by making it seem like “emails” whatever that means is as bad as bigotry. One of my students told me both candidates were morally bankrupt and was surprised when I told him I thought she was the most morally centered candidate since Carter.

I trust HRC and voted for her with joy in my heart. It is true that Trump is scary in ways we haven’t seen in a long time, but Clinton is amazing. When she wins it will not only be against the forces of hate, which are far too strong in this country, but also agains the FBI and KGB. She’s amazing.

2 Beth { 11.06.16 at 7:59 am }

My stomach has been in knots for a week. I’m not a drinker but I feel like I need a drink. I’ve been so saddened by our country, seeing Trump signs on lawns in my neighborhood (not a lot but it still upsets me to think these are my neighbors). I’m so frightened and I’ve never felt that way before. My daughter’s K class elected Hillary but by a small margin. I’m wondering how representative this is of the bigger electorate and how we will ever recover from this hateful and divisive year. I’m just sad and scared.

3 Beth { 11.06.16 at 8:07 am }

Ps – college educated whites women, in addition to Latinos and African American voters, can win this for Hillary and our America. This alone gives me hope.

4 loribeth { 11.06.16 at 9:21 am }

Knots in my stomach here too — and being Canadian, I don’t get a vote. 🙁 I told dh a few days ago that I’m reminded of the dark days leading up to the last Quebec independence referendum in 1995, which was also at this time of year (late fall). Not living in Quebec, I couldn’t vote in that one either — even though (as with this U.S. election), the impact on my country would be huge. The minutes ticking up to 8 p.m., when the results would start coming in, were unbearable — I was holding back tears. It was very, VERY close, 50.58% in favour of remaining in Canada, and 20+ years later, we still have a country. Believe me, people, your vote DOES matter.

5 Working mom of 2 { 11.06.16 at 10:44 am }

Yeah. I can’t see how anyone thinks it wouldn’t be a big deal if that fool wins. I remember being DEVASTATED when the ussc appointed Bush in 2000 after weeks of hanging chads, FL election officials committing fraud, etc. That was nothing compared to this. This is freaking scary. How could anyone, especially anyone other than a white racist misogynist Christian male not be scared?

6 Lori Lavender Luz { 11.06.16 at 11:40 am }

I would totally help you get rid of all those cookies.

7 Ana { 11.06.16 at 1:14 pm }

I think “too much food” actually equals “enough food” for a party. What if there was JUST enough and people were afraid to take the last one? Horrors! Speaking of horrors. YES. I keep donating little bits of money to HRC and to downstream candidates, because it makes me feel like I’m doing something. I’m really glad I’m super busy this week at work to take my mind off it

8 Sharon { 11.06.16 at 4:29 pm }

I’m worried too. Abiding with you

9 Chris { 11.06.16 at 4:36 pm }

I totally agree with you. I have been feeling sick with this election. The mere thought ….it frightens and sickens me in ways that no election has. Even as bad as 2000 was….this just scares me.

10 jjiraffe { 11.06.16 at 5:29 pm }

This election season has been the most terrifying one in my lifetime because of Trump. The thought of him with the codes to the nuclear arsenal is truly chilling.

And, I was in London this year when Brexit shockingly won, when all the polls said it wouldn’t.

So, votes matter. I hope everyone votes this year. Because she most certainly does not have it in the bag.

11 torthuil { 11.06.16 at 8:25 pm }

Fear can be a good thing if channeled in the right direction. For example learning how to talk to people who have different experiences and world views. Clearly there’s a lot of them out there, though they aren’t commenting here. Your political situation is not for the faint of heart. But good can come of it.

12 Alexicographer { 11.06.16 at 9:39 pm }

Count me among the worried.

Ditto food prep for parties. I know exactly what I do and why it is wrong. Let’s imagine I am having a simple cookout at which I am offering, say, hotdogs, hamburgers, and spanakopita. Now, I look at the number of people on the list — let’s imagine it is 15 — and ask myself, “But what if they all want a hamburger (or 2)?” Ditto for the hot dogs and the spanakopita. And next think you know, I have a cookout with enough food for 45! Now the example is slightly complicated as there may be vegetarians who will eat ONLY the spanakopita (though there are also going to be sides, of course, and I always invite people to bring their own food if they would like to, for example to be sure whatever dietary restrictions they follow can be implemented), but truthfully, I of course know what will happen if, say, there are slightly more hamburger-aspiring eaters than hamburgers. They will eat a hotdog. And maybe some spanakopita. And some sides. And hopefully enjoy themselves, but if they don’t, it’s probably not because they didn’t get a burger. And yet.

13 Karen { 11.07.16 at 5:53 am }

This was going to be my post today, too. I’m in the same place.


14 dubliner in deutschland { 11.07.16 at 11:18 am }

I never thought that Brexit could win but the fact that it did also makes me worry now that enough people could vote for Trump. I hope Hilary fans don’t just assume she’ll win and not actually vote

15 magpie { 11.07.16 at 1:41 pm }

i vacillated between wildly optimistic and horrendously worried.

16 katherinea12 { 11.08.16 at 7:24 pm }

Very, very late to this, but yep, agree totally. The idea of a Trump presidency is nothing short of terrifying. We’ll know shortly now.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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