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596th Friday Blog Roundup

It was a week of bad news — not for me but for good friends — and it kept coming day after day.  Bad medical results.  A funeral.  A gloominess hung over the week, punctuated only by more grey rain.  I felt numb, maybe because our friends are too close so their news is too big to wrap my brain around easily.

Still, it was bizarre to find myself crying as I scrolled through Facebook because I read that a local clown had died.

Ken-zo the clown owned a bar in Baltimore that we visited a few years ago.  It had a two drink minimum before the magic show, and I had my drinks quickly to get them over with because I don’t like alcohol.  I ended up getting too drunk to read the book I brought with me, so I talked to Ken about magic.  I just wanted to learn a few magic tricks, something I could master with my complete lack of coordination and my inability to carry through practicing hand movements for hours at a time.  He humoured me and told me about various tricks that I could pick up on my own.  I still have the list I wrote down before the show.

I couldn’t put into words why I fell apart with that story and not the ones that happened to people whom I care about a lot.  Maybe it was the realization that we’ll all be gone someday.  That one day someone else will be telling a story about a conversation they had with me, and they’ll muse how odd it is that I once was here and now I’m gone.  Or maybe it had just been such a fun night, and this person who had built a space that made me so giddy with magic (liquor notwithstanding) was now gone.

It says something when you can quickly recognize a face you only saw once as you scroll past it on Facebook.  It was that memorable a night.


Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Raven Rambling has a belated Mother’s Day post.  It took her some time to put her thoughts into words.  After years of being asked when she would have children, she realized this year that not only was no one asking her questions about family building, but they were pretending that her dogs were her children.  She explains, “This Mother’s Day, which had been intended to make me feel included, made me feel more alone than any other Mother’s Day before it.”  It’s a wonderful post about belonging.

Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms has a post about something I think many of us has experienced — being the last person in a group without a child.  Her online forum group is still in touch, and she tries not to talk about how she feels about this with them.  “I edited it out because I did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings or push them away. But, the distance continued to expand either way.”  It’s a post about not knowing where her journey will go, but realizing that different people come into your life at different times.

Lastly, My Perfect Breakdown has a post about her child picking up her husband’s mannerisms.  She writes: “When we chose to adopt we knew we’d never see any of our physical attributes in our child … But, regardless of what our child looks like, what I didn’t really think about is that our child is bound to pick up on our mannerisms because children learn through mimicking.”  It’s an interesting discussion of nature vs. nurture.

The roundup to the Roundup: Crying about a stranger.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 13th and 20th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 Charlotte { 05.20.16 at 9:06 am }

I have been waiting for the roundup all week just so I can highlight this post from Justine:


It was the single most beautiful and heartbreaking and absolutely amazing thing I think I have ever read. I can not do this piece justice, everyone needs to read it. I dare you not to get chills and tears.

2 Ana { 05.20.16 at 9:11 am }

I came to recommend the same post from Justine as Charlotte. It took my breath away. Read it now.

3 Lori Lavender Luz { 05.20.16 at 9:11 am }

Of course you would be sad about the death of Ken. You and he shared a connection over magic (something you have a love for) and he plays a part in your story, small but meaningful. And just like with the Pain Olympics, it’s pointless to compare emotions. They are what they are. And I bet the losses were compounded by each other. Abiding with you, my friend.

Charlotte beat me to Justine’s post. I also want to highlight this one, called Adoption Is (part of this edition of AdoptionTalk): http://www.nobohnsaboutit.com/2016/05/adoption-is/

4 sharah { 05.20.16 at 11:45 am }

4thing Justine’s post.

5 KeAnne { 05.20.16 at 7:04 pm }

I agree! I loved that post!

6 Justine { 05.21.16 at 8:20 am }

I wonder if it’s about the ways in which something magical leaves this world, too … especially if you’re already feeling a sense of loss, one thing we try to hold onto is hope, and mystery, and magic, and to lose that too in the same week … 🙁 Sending you hugs this week.

And thank you to everyone who loved my post this week! I felt like it was one of the best things I’ve written in a while … also feeling a sense of loss, and oddly struck by the fact that while there are places where bad things happened that I don’t want to return to, there are also places where things happened that somehow not being able to return to any more feels like I’ll be missing something that’s part of who I am. It’s weird.

7 Charlotte { 05.21.16 at 10:20 am }

If there was still a Creme de la Creme…that would be your post!

8 Blossom { 05.23.16 at 7:48 pm }

Aw, sorry for the loss of Ken. But your morose is well justified! There’s a reason people come into your lives, and even if it’s not a big reason, people are people: tiny, yet important, impactful little thingies.
Great read!

9 Jamie { 05.29.16 at 2:03 pm }

Thank you, Mel, for highlighting my post this week. It was very kind of you!

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