Who Are Your 5?
I really love this idea from Lifehacker about keeping 5 people in your mind to mentally yank out whenever you get stressed. I sort of picture them like all the people who came out of Harry’s wand when he was fighting Voldemort in the graveyard. You know how they circled around him and cheered him on and grounded him and gave him emotional strength?
I decided to make my 5 Josh, the twins, and my parents. They are all 5 people that I know beyond a doubt what they think of me. (Unless I am utterly and completely wrong. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing? If I made them my 5 but they were all secretly thinking that I’m a drip.)
Anyway, I thought this quote from the article was important:
As long as they are happy with me, and see me as the constantly improving, evolving person I strive to be, that is what matters.
How much easier would life be if you only concerned yourself with the opinions of these 5 people? Somewhat impossible, but what a great thing to strive for.
But I also like the idea of making your 5 not people who actually know you and love you but people — real or fictional — who give you comfort. Like I was thinking about how Harry Potter is definitely in my 5. So is Quentin Coldwater and Lucy Pevensie and OfFred (from the Handmaid’s Tale) and Frodo Baggins. I get to carry all of them in my pocket because I’ve downloaded their books to my phone so I always have them with me. It’s nice to keep your friends close.
So who is in your 5?
11 comments
Interesting concept. My 5 would include my parents, VT, my brother S and may be my own self 🙂 Sometimes, when I am too stressed I like to spend time with myself!
I would have to choose my husband and daughter, my mother, and my two best friends. Though I’m with Parul- there are times when I feel stressed that I just want to be with myself.
My five would have to be, My Husband, My Mom, My Grandma, My Best Friend, and My Dad.
I have found that my husband, my children, and my siblings are often the biggest causes of my stress. (not intentionally, mind you) so having them as my source of de-stress doesn’t work. I have many times in my life thought “what would [insert fictional character here] do?” I spent one very, very stressful and difficult night at work actually being someone else in my head. It worked.
My brother & mom. The fictional character Lupe dy Cazaril from Curse of Chalion, my very favourite person from any book ever. My best friend Sonia, who passed away 20 years ago now. I’d have to think about the last. Maybe my future wife, whomever she is. 🙂
I have different people for different situations… when I’m running I have running friends (real and imagined) that I “talk to” in my head who cheer me on and help me get through a tough spot. I have other people that I have lovely conversations with…sometimes role playing a conversation I am planning or one that I know that I can’t have with someone. It does help with stress to be able to turn to these folks for advice or comfort.
My 5 real people are husband, sister, mom, college best friend, local best friend.
I will have to think about my fictional/literary ones. Harry Potter and Jo March for sure.
This is a tough question…mine would be a combination of real and fictional.
I think I would have to pick my hubby, my nephew E, Jo Marsh (sorry Kasey, stole it from you!), my best friend and a teacher I had in high school who was amazing.
I worked with a life coach on and off of the past few years, and one thing she helped me do was to visualize my inner helpers – sort of avatars that symbolize my own inner strength and wisdom, whom I can call on for help. One is a woman in a red dress and another is a young Polynesian man. I suppose Jung would say they are the male and female aspects of my own psyche or something like that. They helped me get through the move from Albania to Colombia and then writing my dissertation.
I don’t know if I actually have 5. I’ve got my husband, my two kids and probably my college friend, although I think we’re kind of losing touch now so I don’t know….
My 5 most defiantly would be my two gorgeous granddaughter’s, my two boys and my daughter. what they accomplished brings smile to my face.