Returning to Location Casualties

by Mel

10 comments

1 A.M.S. { 11.03.15 at 9:24 am }

Heh, I was just feeling twinges of desire to return to blogging. And, if you want, then as soon as Buttercup can be without me for a weekend AND you are feeling up to it, you and I will have a girls’ weekend. We will face your location casualty together with chocolate, wine, tears, and slumber party goofiness in a tiny house. It won’t scare or scar me and if you push past it you can bring the wee ones. If not, you have someone who can drive you home in the middle of the night.

2 loribeth { 11.03.15 at 9:36 am }

Interesting… I never commented on either of the previous posts on this topic. Maybe I was avoiding the subject?? lol I had some traumatic childhood experiences in the hospital and for the longest time, I hated going anywhere near a hospital… we went to visit my best friends’ mom after her hysterectomy, and everyone commented that I looked more ill than she did. 😉 Good thing I got mostly over that before infertility & pregnancy loss hit. That said, it was difficult for me to have an ultrasound done (for non-pregnancy reasons) at the same hospital where I’d had all my pregnancy-related ones done (including the final one). I was just grateful that they did not put me in the same room. Also, my ob-gyn moved his office from the hospital proper to an adjacent building, which helped. I went to visit a friend — a fellow loss mom — at that same hospital after the premature (27 weeks) birth of her daughter. The room where she was staying was across the hall from the NICU — the same ward where they handle stillbirth inductions & medical terminations (i.e., where I had been for Katie). I was grateful that she was in a different room, and the door to the room where I’d stayed was mercifully closed.

On a non-ALI note, I haven’t been back to Applebee’s since I got sick after eating their tequila lime chicken. I’ve since wondered whether that had something to do with the tomato allergy I was diagnosed with several months later? I know there’s stuff on the menu that doesn’t involve tomatos, but I’m in no hurry to go back there. 😉

3 a { 11.03.15 at 9:55 am }

I don’t really have any places like that – I think I associate most bad experiences with people rather than places. Also, I am apparently so over-confident that I’m crazy, because I feel pretty comfortable in every place I’ve ever been in the US (I was having a discussion with someone about gun rights with someone, and it came up that I, the little, defenseless woman, am comfortable walking around where men feel the need to carry weapons. Of course, as the defenseless woman (which I am not, actually. I have a large, untapped well of rage that would probably carry me through any situation. I think I’m the Tasmanian Devil in disguise), people tend to see me and feel protective. Petite girl privilege?)

I don’t get the tiny house thing. My husband wants to chuck all our possessions and buy an RV. I’m all “Remember when we lived in a 700 square foot condo with 2 rooms and found it to be too close for comfort? I remember.” There’s a reason my favorite Schoolhouse Rock is “Elbow Room.”

4 Cristy { 11.03.15 at 11:57 am }

I can relate. There are places that are filled with bad memories and the idea of them leaves me feeling sick. And yet, there’s also some closure that I want to have with those locations. An attempt to go back once more and come to some peace with them. Maybe that’s what’s happening with this location?

The tiny houses to rent sounds intriguing! On a similar note, I’ve been attracted to treehouses.

5 Chris { 11.03.15 at 7:35 pm }

I’d have to call this progress- there are so many, many places associated with some really horrible, violent things in my past, but the only one that instantly comes to mind as a location I go out of my way to avoid (or did, it’s a mute point now) is the house where my parents lived when my mom died. She was absolutely my best friend and I loathed going into that house after she died. We have since moved back home and are a thousand miles away, I can’t imagine a circumstance I’d have any reason to see it again. Truthfully, I’d be A-OK never seeing the entire state of AZ again, but that has more to do with the weather and the politics. LOL

6 M { 11.04.15 at 6:29 pm }

Mine is a hotel in Tyson’s Corner. DH and I had a fancy dinner date with a chocolate lava cake dessert and ended up conceiving in that hotel that night. I experienced a chemical pregnancy two weeks later. I want to vomit every time I drive by it. There is no way in hell I would step foot into that hotel again. I know it was a very early loss but there is just something about that place that doesn’t sit well with me.

7 Lori Lavender Luz { 11.05.15 at 2:45 pm }

I am more the Take-Back-the-Place type. I have a few locations I associate with certain casualties, but after awhile (say, 6-12 months) I don’t avoid them.

I hope you go see the tiny house, if only so I can read your post about it.

8 Mali { 11.05.15 at 10:41 pm }

I really hope you go to see the tiny houses. I’d hate to think that those bad events that happen continue to have a negative power over you in a completely unrelated (ie location) way. I’d love you to have happy memories to shift the way you feel about those locations.

9 Queenie { 11.07.15 at 3:11 pm }

We just had a date night at Cactus Cantina recently, and we thought it was the worst Mexican food we had ever eaten, so it made me laugh to be reminded it’s your dumping spot. I wouldn’t subject myself to it again! It’s interesting–for me the spots that I avoid are the ones with the happiest memories, because it makes me sad that the time has passed and isn’t here any longer.

10 Queenie { 11.07.15 at 3:14 pm }

PS. We are also obsessed with tiny houses, and talk about building one. We stayed in a tiny house community maybe six or seven years ago, and it was so lovely.