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#MicroblogMondays 32: Whining About the Complaint/Restraint Project

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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February has come and gone, which means that I missed the first round of the Complaint/Restraint project.  It’s an Internet project meant to get us complaining less.  Apparently we complain about once per minute of conversation.  So in a 15 minute conversation, we whine 15 times.

And that’s a bad thing?

Yes, yes, yes, we all know that negativity begets negativity and how we need to send positive energy into the universe and the Laws of Attraction and… I get it.  But there is something so satisfying about a complaint; about unloading something that has been annoying you.  In fact, talking about things you can do nothing about takes back control from the uncontrollable by containing it inside words.  So there.

So complain away.  What’s bothering you this morning?  For me, it’s people who use their phones while driving, especially the ones who think it’s okay to look at their screen because they’re driving slowly or because they’ve reached a red light.  GAH!

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.

1. Lori Lavender Luz 16. trendyvulcan (The Polka- Dot Umbrella) 31. Mali (A Separate Life)
2. The bespectacled mother 17. Stephanie (Travelcraft Journal) 32. Junebug
3. Shilpa 18. Daryl 33. Uma S
4. Karen (River Run Dry) 19. Miss Conception 34. Queenie
5. Jessica 20. Jen (Days of Grace) 35. nina michelle
6. Middle Girl 21. Infertile Girl 36. Kimberly
7. No Baby Ruth 22. S 37. Stacie
8. Buttermilk 23. Turia 38. Mary Francis
9. Loribeth (The Road Less Travelled) 24. Amber 39. Angela Derecas Taylor
10. Solo Mama 25. torthú il 40. Corinne Rodrigues
11. One and Done? 26. Sara @ Mommy Summers 41. The Hardest Quest
12. Isabelle 27. Laurel Regan @ Alphabet Salad 42. No Way to Say It
13. Accio Baby! 28. Savannah (Because I Can’t Have Babies))
14. Cristy 29. Savannah (Countless Tomorrows)
15. Non Sequitur Chica 30. Mali (No Kidding in NZ)

39 comments

1 The bespectacled mother (Anamika) { 04.06.15 at 6:01 am }

I wonder how most of the times what goes on in my head lands up here on this page. Yes, I had complaints today and those were about my spouse which I unloaded with my mum.

2 Aly @ Breathe Gently { 04.06.15 at 6:18 am }

I love this post. I use my blog as an outlet to offload quite a lot, so that I *don’t* complain too much to my friends…. so woo! Complaining! YES!

I’m pretty cranky about all of the people on my Facebook list who are constantly complaining about their newborns. I get it, it’s hard, I’ve been there.. but I would KILL to be there again. Everyone’s allowed to complain, but oy, when it’s constant, it kills me!

3 Middle Girl { 04.06.15 at 7:43 am }

Keeping with traffic theme folks who roll through stop signs (or the stop line) and / or who just flat out don’t stop at intersections. If I get that asinine, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you” pose (or mouthing) I am going to scream. In fact, I have begun to scream: “STOP!” At least in my head. Folks with guns, road rage and all that whiz. . .

4 No Baby Ruth { 04.06.15 at 7:52 am }

I’m annoyed by my new intern who, although quite intelligent and capable, cannot use the search box on our document storage application to save his life. UGH! It’s driving me mad!!!!

5 tigger62077 { 04.06.15 at 8:27 am }

I am a complete whiner these days. I had surgery on Monday. I’ve a sensitivity to adhesive. I’ve had adhesive on my chest/neck since Monday. I am a cranky pants who is itchy, tired because she can’t sleep, frustrated because she can’t get her own bra and shirt on, and just generally irritable because I’m frustrated. I get stitches out THURSDAY so hopefully I will be able to remove all the bandages then.

6 Rachel { 04.06.15 at 9:37 am }

I think complaining is a good thing…it helps to unburden our souls. Like everything else, it’s a matter of balance. Always being negative drains you and those around you, but I think always being positive does too because everyone is always trying to keep up. Balancing the negative with the positive – or the complaining with thankfulness, is healthy. It doesn’t have to be at the same time (although I always try to do it together), but I think as long as your life is more positive than negative, you’re on the right track.

Today I’m irritated with cliques and how they STILL exist long after high school and into the adult workplace. But I’m thankful for a great job and workplace in an economy where not enough can say the same. But seriously….I thought I left high school behind 10 years ago!

7 A. { 04.06.15 at 9:42 am }

I think it’s sort of an American construct, this pressure to be positive POSITIVE no matter what crazy shizz is going on in your life. Have cancer? Be positive! Losing your job? Be positive! Find the silver lining! It reminds me of that whole Serenity Now bit on Seinfeld in which we’re not allowed to recognize when our lives are beating us up because it bums other people out. Right now I have one complaint: I’m terrified for my unborn baby’s life, and no one but NO ONE is going to shove their silver-lining crap down my throat.

8 loribeth { 04.06.15 at 9:48 am }

I use my blog to vent a lot as well (like today’s post, for example, lol). I agree with Rachel that sometimes you need to let off some steam. 😉 Cellphones generally are a bit pet peeve of mine. Another big source of frustration lately is the neighbourhood dogs. I generally like dogs, but these days we are SURROUNDED by them, and a couple of them are quite yappy. And when one gets going, all the others join in. It’s quite the chorus, and it invariably gets started around 11 o’clock at night just as dh & I are trying to go to sleep. :p It can sometimes go on for quite a while before the owners intervene. And of course we are home most of the day now, so we notice it a LOT more than we used to.

9 Buttermilk { 04.06.15 at 10:00 am }

I resent the idea that people should smile and be pleasant when that’s not how they are really feeling. I’m currently annoyed with the 100 Day Project, which kicks off today. I feel pressure from my artist friends to play along and I’m really not interested. I don’t find it appealing that not only are you suppose to commit to making something every day for 100 days, but that you are also suppose to share what you make on social media. I don’t like artists over-sharing. It reminds me of the “lifestyle artists” in college who spent more time putting paint on their jeans than putting paint on canvas.

10 Karen (River Run Dry) { 04.06.15 at 10:04 am }

I think the complaining thing is that there are so many people who complain without putting their experience in perspective.

Case in point: I have a friend who broke her ankle and had surgery and who is rehabbing it all right now and so her race season is pretty much shot this year. Another friend, who is healthy and training for a marathon, went to sign up (late) for his marathon, and it was sold out. In complaining to the Girl with the Broken Foot, he compared his experience to hers.

Um, not at all the same at all.

My complaint today? Is TOTALLY banal. But whatever, I’ll complain about it anyway.

I love bananas and peanut butter (OMG Trader Joe’s natural peanut butter is amazing. SO good.) My husband, the good doobie, went out this weekend and got me bananas.

Great in theory, right?

But the problem is that I am picky about my bananas. I can only eat them if they are perfectly yellow. I cannot have any brown on them – otherwise they’re not good, and I have to freeze them or make oatmeal energy bars or bread or muffins or put them in smoothies or something.

So this weekend, Jeff got me bunch of SEVEN bananas (which is too many, mind you) at the store.

And as of this morning, they’re already brown.

Every last one of them.

So the rest of my week will be spent planning how to use the damn brown bananas. Because I have seven of them.

And will he eat them? Nope. He bought them for me!

SEVEN BROWN BANANAS.

That’s today’s complaint. 🙂

11 Jennifer { 04.06.15 at 10:06 am }

The timing of your post coincides pretty nicely with my post today – which is pretty vent-y. 🙂

12 Lindsay | Solo Mama { 04.06.15 at 10:10 am }

What’s bothering me this morning? Well, I started off my day by walking to work and passing a dude who said, “I hate your haircut.” Douche nozzle – who says that?

Then, at work i cleaned the coffeepot, filled it up, only to find out there was no coffee left at the office!

So far, today can get better…

13 Rebecca { 04.06.15 at 10:18 am }

My current complaint is students who don’t put effort into a course (and, then, complain about how they did). I’m grading exams and I had to stop because I just want to throttle them. I gave them SO many resources to study for this damned exam and they didn’t do it. Fewer than half of the students even opened the old exams I posted with worked out problems that were essentially IDENTICAL to at least two of the problems on the exam. And, this is the third exam of the semester and they did badly on the last exam for the same reason. I put a lot of effort into helping them succeed and, as a whole, they do nothing. ARGGGH.

(Thank you for the venting space. I needed that.)

14 Ana { 04.06.15 at 10:57 am }

I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I LOVE a good complaint every now and then, so cleansing for the soul! Agree that constant negativity is a downer for self and others, but constant positivity is not real or sustainable—I find that when I do not vent every so often, if I keep it all inside, then I will explode, and it will be ugly. Better to have a nice tiny vent to relieve the pressure.
I am currently annoyed at: the big tag in my shirt that is itchy. why do they do this? its an expensive shirt from a reputable brand! If I cut it out, there would still be the tag STUB which is just as irritating. If I try to cut the stub, I’ll be cutting into the seam of the shirt which will decrease the integrity and make it likely to fall apart soon. Blech.
Also I hate when people (ahem, my husband) pull out their phones and start scrolling around when I’m talking to them. I don’t care if you are looking up the answer to a question I asked! The point was to have the conversation, wonder about the question aimlessly for a bit, and maybe look it up later if you remembered.

15 Cristy { 04.06.15 at 11:17 am }

I think Karen’s comment is spot on! Some people complain without really thinking about their complaining. I know I’ve been guilty of it. But it’s funny that when the shit hits the fan how the complaints can all but cease.

My complaint this morning has everything to do with traffic. Seattle has gotten TERRIBLE due to the massive influx of people (latest statistics say about 24 people a day move to this city . . . no joke). So we have slow PNW drivers combined with road-raging Californians (the biggest population of immigrants) and generally people who are clueless as to where exactly they’re going. On one hand, it’s comical to watch. On the other, it now takes twice as long to get anywhere because the system is so broken.

16 nonsequiturchica { 04.06.15 at 11:51 am }

Two things to complain about- that doctors haven’t figured out what is wrong with my husband yet (what my post is about) and that at 36 years old I assume I am having my first bout with allergies? My nose has been itchy like crazy and it is pissing me off!

17 Moira { 04.06.15 at 12:09 pm }

I too like many others use my blog to complain. Its a great wasy to let out frustrations and honestly if someone doesn’t want to hear me complain–don’t read it!
Today though I am annoyed that a check engine light came on when I JUST had my 60,000 mile checkup done two weeks ago. ugh!

18 trendyvulcan { 04.06.15 at 12:11 pm }

I’m annoyed that something my MIL said makes me feel like I have to defend personal fertility decisions. I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way, but it has been almost a full 24 hours and I’m still bugged by it. Grrrr.

Side note – I just really love reading what you write, Mel. Thank you for being the kin keeper of the ALI community. <3

19 Stephanie (Travelcraft Journal) { 04.06.15 at 12:31 pm }

To err is human. To complain about it is also human.

My complaint/question: why do people get so much louder when they’re in or next to the pool? I’ll be thinking “why do my neighbors seem so much louder.” Then I’ll remember the weather warmed up. So they’re swimming. So they’re loud.

What I really don’t like is kids screaming. I don’t mind kid noise generally – laughing, playing, shouting. But when I hear a scream, I always have to stop and figure out if someone’s in distress or just playing. I worry. I wonder if I should run out and make sure everyone’s okay. My mom used to tell us not to scream unless we needed help, but I guess no one else says that.

20 torthuil { 04.06.15 at 1:44 pm }

My kitchen faucet that 1) has been shaky ever since we moved in 2) leaks like an er, drippy faucet unless it’s turned all the way to cold and 3) was installed by a monkey who made it REALLY hard to fix. The good side: BIL who is a plumber is coming by today to have a look. Other than that, baby is napping, I’m happily procrastinating….lots of things, so I have very few complaints about life!

21 Jen { 04.06.15 at 1:54 pm }

My energy company’s website is down so I can submit my meter readings. Not the end of the world… but I’ve taken the readings and tried to submit them a few times now and it’s still on my to-do list. I think I need to get better at letting things I can’t do stay undone. But it helps to complain a little!

22 Geochick { 04.06.15 at 2:37 pm }

I just finished reading “Lean In” and I’m pissed at all the criticism it generated. Did anyone even pay attention to what she was saying? Also, a guy at work told me he was really impressed with my work on a project. But not in a “hey, great job. This hasn’t been easy” kind of way. It was in a “wow I can’t believe you’re capable of doing this work” kind of way. Grrrrr

23 Stephanie (Travelcraft Journal) { 04.06.15 at 2:39 pm }

Also, people honking when they’re waiting to pick someone up. It was rude back in the day, but now that we have texting, it seems kind of ridiculous.

24 Sharon { 04.06.15 at 3:08 pm }

I won’t give up complaining. Some days I feel like being able to vent/kvetch/choose-your-term is the only thing keeping me sane!

One of my pet peeves of late is people who don’t get back to me. I hate it when I can’t complete a task because I am waiting on a response from someone!

25 Turia { 04.06.15 at 3:54 pm }

I use my blog to complain a lot, which is probably hard on my readers, but I guess they are used to it by now.

When Q. and I were teaching in the same courses, we had to agree on a time limit for complaining about our students. Otherwise we would just rant and rant. Venting is good, but only to a point.

My current complaint is people who don’t give up their seats on the streetcar for parents with babies/little kids. It drives me crazy when I see it happen (and made me furious when it happened to me).

26 Amber { 04.06.15 at 5:00 pm }

I’m tired of feeling like the most annoying person in the world to my husband lately. It seems I cannot do or say anything the past few days without annoying the crap out of him. I know it’s a passing phase, but it really sucks while it’s happening. Makes life not very much fun when you feel so unloved.

27 Sara { 04.06.15 at 5:37 pm }

After spending hours with my in-laws this weekend, I couldn’t help but feel the drag of their negativity. I grew up watching my dad hold conversations with people and always noticed his response to the “how are you?” question. It was and still always is “Somethings good, somethings not so good.” I absolutely love hearing that. I feel like yes we need people to complain to and who better than family, but at what point do you stop the complaining and just enjoy life? Life will always include somethings good & somethings not so good. Just gotta enjoy it. Happy Monday!

28 Laurel Regan { 04.06.15 at 6:32 pm }

Right there with you on the cell phone while driving thing. SO dangerous. My complaint is much more trivial – when people stand in the middle of a sidewalk or aisle, completely oblivious to the fact that people just MIGHT want to get past them. Grrr!!!

29 Savannah { 04.06.15 at 7:27 pm }

My complaint is my math professor. I can’t stand him! I’ve been able to learn more from online tutorials that I have from him.

30 Mali { 04.06.15 at 7:43 pm }

I agree with you on cellphones (texting OR talking) and driving. It’s so dangerous! (And illegal.) If you wouldn’t drive drunk, don’t drive and talk/text on a phone.

A good complaining session to a good listener can be very therapeutic. I complain about lots of things when I get together with a particular friend (and in turn she complains to me) – covering the gamut from US politics, the plight of feminism and equality these days, weight issues, TV, and of course, the in-laws and family. The in-laws and family are the most consistent!

31 Junebug { 04.06.15 at 7:53 pm }

I hate when people have had numerous opportunities to provide feedback at the beginning of a project (or the middle of even near the end) and then they want to rewrite documents at the last approval. You know, after 30 other people have reviewed and accepted it. so then you have to start over and get the same 30 people to buy into the new stuff. Ridiculous.

Also I hate when people don’t take responsibility for themselves. Like seriously? You have been around how long, doing all this amazing work and you dont know what you should be doing? Really?

Ok. I am done.

32 UmaS { 04.06.15 at 9:54 pm }

Those people who talk one thing up front and do something else totally opposite behind my back – those are the people I may complain about !!

33 Justine { 04.06.15 at 9:59 pm }

I have had people draw attention to my complaining, so I try to balance the whine with positivity. Which feels … contrived. 😉

My complaint today? I start my domestic responsibilities in the morning at least 10 minutes before my husband EVERY morning, and long after he’s lounging at the computer/going for a run/whatever at night, I’m still washing dishes/making lunches/making dinners/doing laundry. WTF?!?!?! (My problem, not his. But I’m feeling whiney about it.)

34 Queenie { 04.06.15 at 10:56 pm }

Sometimes I feel like complaint is like eating really junky, sugary candy…it feels good at first, but them I feel bad a while later. I think it’s the negativity be getting negativity thing. Complaint often preserves and prolongs an annoying thing that we might otherwise let go of sooner, I think. (But I still complain a LOT!!)

35 Queenie { 04.06.15 at 10:57 pm }

Damn spell check.

36 Noemi { 04.06.15 at 10:58 pm }

Today I got a parking ticket and the circumstances were so infuriating. I couldn’t park my car in garage because my daughter’s old trundle was in there, waiting to be picked up by someone on Crigslist. It was noon-2pm street sweeping on my block, and MANY others so it took me ages to find a spot that wouldn’t require I move my car later. Then I ended up running errands and leaving before noon anyway so I could have taken any of the dozens of spots on my block that morning, which was exactly what I was thinking as I walked up to my car and saw I hd a ticket for being over the two hour limit. I didn’t realize ANY streets in my neighborhood had a limit and I sure as hell have NEVER seen parking enforcement around. Also, they had my time at 9:37-11:41, and I parked there right after 9:30 and was back at the car by 11:45. The fact that they had me ticketed within 6 minutes of the two hour limit and less than five from when I got back was so infuriating. And I didn’t even have to f***ing park there anyway!!!!

Sorry, it’s still making me mad and it’s been hours.

But to funny you wrote about this today because I almsot put something up on FB but then I asked myself why I would, and the only answer I could come up with was that it just made me feel better to put it out there. Sitting with it was driving me crazy (I will admit, I cried big crocodile tears in the car), but the minute I told my husband about it I felt better. Why is that? I want to read up on that phenomena and see if there is any explanation to why sharing those moments make them chafe a little less.

(I did end up posting a vague, “This day sucks” post on FB but it wasn’t nearly as cathartic as a post explaining the ridiculousness of that parking ticket would have been.)

37 Angela Derecas Taylor { 04.07.15 at 6:41 am }

My complaint is that I am sick of complainers who expect me to listen to all their complaints but no one wants to listen to mine. I am surrounded by complainers. I live with complainers. I grew up with complainers. I work at a place where people call me up and complain all day long. With all that complaining surrounding me there is never room for me to complain. Everyone just expects me to listen to their complaints. I have to tell you, I have had some pretty crappy stuff happen to me over the years – sometimes a lot worse than the stuff I have to listen to other people complain about. But when I want to complain no one wants to listen. Somehow I am supposed to be super human – I am supposed to be able to “deal” with everything without complaining. So I learned how to just “suck it up” – until recently I have kept it all inside and it is killing me. I just launched my website and started to “blog”. I think that’s what I’m doing anyway. But who cares about what I have to say anyway? I guess that’s my complaint – nobody cares about what I have to say.

38 Lori Lavender Luz { 04.07.15 at 9:49 am }

As a recovering victim, I am whining about commercials that turn people into victims. Like personal injury lawyers.

(And yes, I know they serve a purpose and I could find myself in need of one one day but the ads seem to me like they’re creating victims rather than finding them. My trigger, surely.)

39 Corinne Rodrigues { 04.08.15 at 10:11 am }

A little whining now and then in the confines of our homes is allowed. I recently met a couple of whiners who repeat the same crib every time I meet them. I’ve resolved to avoid them in future!

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