Should You Go on That Once-in-a-Lifetime Trip? Or, uh, Experience Infertility?
Discovery magazine peed in my Cheerios with their article about how having an extraordinary experience can ultimately bring you down. Apparently we don’t really savour the memories after a big trip like we would an expensive piece of chocolate. We more gag and choke on the memories once the experience is over.
The reason given: “A new study finds that’s not always so: extraordinary experiences can actually generate unhappy feelings as well, because others in your ordinary social group are unable to relate to your stories.”
So you go through a life-changing experience and come back a different person, but now you’re out of sync with everyone around you, like Alice returning from Wonderland. How could she explain the White Rabbit and the Red Queen and what it’s like to grow bigger and smaller to anyone who wasn’t there?
The article states:
Social pleasures, however, stem from other things we crave like acceptance, belonging and camaraderie. Therefore, an exciting trip to Bali may come at a social cost when standing around the coffee machine on Monday morning.
This is, as the article points out, remedied by taking people with you that you can discuss the trip (or substitute in any unusual experience) with afterward. Though that doesn’t really solve the fact that you will still be standing around the coffee machine Monday morning with people who didn’t go with you.
All of that said, I was thinking about infertility as an unusual experience and how it does isolate you, even after it’s “over” in the sense that you are parenting or living child-free (in other words, not actively building your family). The experience changes you and causes a social rift, even after it’s over. Maybe moreso after it’s over. Hence why it is important to have people to discuss it with.
Just a small thought I’m tossing around this weekend after reading the article.
And hey, tiny thought, I could have made it as a #MicroblogMonday post for tomorrow. Except that this post runs a little on the long side for a micro post.