Life Without Kids Before Life Without Kids
I went back to write this comment, but it got too long, so I decided to put it here since it was post-length vs. comment-length.
Mali had a really interesting mini-post about people referring to their time pre-kids as their life without kids; in other words, saying that they understood what it was like to live without children because they had lived part of their life without children.
But not having done something [yet] is very different from definitively not having done something [full stop].
Think about it this way: if I said imagine if you had never been to college, could you honestly look at what life was like as a high schooler and say that you totally remember what life was like pre-college and therefore can understand what life is like for someone who has never been to college?
My understanding of what someone’s adult life is like who hasn’t been to college is a very different experience from what my life was like prior to going to university. As a college graduate, I am afforded opportunities that aren’t open to people who haven’t been to college. I have friendships based out of that shared experience. I am treated differently by greater society. And society, in general, is skewed (like this post) to the assumption that everyone has been to college.
And maybe you are reading this and you haven’t been to college.
And if that is the case, I can’t say that I know what it is like because my experience has been different. And that’s okay; we don’t need to have the same life. But I do need to be willing to listen to your reality if I want to try to understand.