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Requisite End of Year Post

It’s the last day of the year, and we’re supposed to be reflecting on 2014 and looking forward to 2015, but something invisible and scentless and intangible has brought out the don’t wanna in me.  I don’t really feel like looking back at this year.

It hasn’t been a good year… for me.  I have to couch it like that because let’s be frank: there is something guilt-inducing in saying you’ve had a bad year when you watch the news and hear reporting on other people’s bad years.  But, for me, this has been a bit of a crap year with a lot of quick swimming to keep from being dragged under by the current.  And we’ve done it; we’ve doggy-paddled our way to 2015, bodies and minds intact, so we’d really appreciate being allowed to leave this river, to have 2015 be about being on the other side vs. finding ourselves back on the first bank and needing to swim through this current all over again.

We’re tired.  But we can still manage to keep up a stream of conversation and joking while we swim, out-of-breath, so that’s something.

I also don’t really want to look ahead to 2015 because… I think we’ve been living for so long unable to predict what will happen next that I almost don’t feel mentally prepared to try to predict what will happen next anymore.  I sort of look at the next calendar with a feeling of “yes, and?”  I have no clue how 2015 will go.  Hopefully more good than bad?

The Creme de la Creme of 2014 goes up tomorrow morning.  It will likely be the last time that happens.  I think a lot of things will gently come to an end from disuse this year, which is okay.  Sad in theory, but clearing out the debris makes room for new things.  One thing that will not be disappearing is the Friday Blog Roundup (did you read that sentence correctly?  I’m keeping it), but it will not go up this Friday.  I’m going to let the Creme de la Creme stretch out and breathe for a few days and then post on the weekend.

So that’s where things stand.

My goodbye to 2014: You taught me stuff this year that I really didn’t want to learn.  And I can’t say I’m thankful or see any benefit to this knowledge.  I would love it if I got some better breathing room in 2015, and maybe the way to do that is to hold onto things a little less tightly.  To look at the things that are working — my family, my friends, my creativity — vs. all the things that aren’t working.  I mean, you can’t close your eyes entirely to the things that aren’t working, but you don’t need to stare at them all day long without noticing anything else.  So… yeah… goodbye 2014.  Not sad to see you go.  Hopefully you’ll put in a good word for me with 2015.

What is your goodbye to 2014?


1 Jodi { 12.31.14 at 7:50 am }

happy new year!

Mel, I hope you get everything you want, need, and deserve in 2015.

2 KeAnne { 12.31.14 at 7:58 am }

I feel the same way about 2014 and don’t really want to reflect on it. It wasn’t bad per se, but it was full of a lot of stress and anxiety. I’m also done with hoping good things for 2015. Maybe that means I’m truly an adult now and understand that years just are and there is nothing magical about the turn of the calendar? Instead it is our enduring (and endurance) that matter?

That said, I hope 2015 is kind to us. 2014 picked on mercilessly a lot of good people. Hopefully the wheel of fortune spins to a more favorable position.

3 ANDMom { 12.31.14 at 8:47 am }

Last night we said “it hasn’t been that bad of a year .. ” and then started saying “well, except January, and February and March and May and June, and September ..”. Yeah. Goodbye 2014 – some good came from the bad, but hoping 2015 will be kinder, smoother, less stressful.

4 Mic { 12.31.14 at 9:58 am }

Oh Mel – I can feel your pain this this post. I’m so sory that 2014 was such a shitty year for you and I wish you a much better year.

5 Reb { 12.31.14 at 10:22 am }

Happy New Year! I love how you describe trying to let go and see the positive along with the negative. “I mean, you can’t close your eyes entirely to the things that aren’t working, but you don’t need to stare at them all day long without noticing anything else.” I love this. Thanks for the inspiration, as always!

6 a { 12.31.14 at 11:02 am }

I don’t know anyone who has had a particularly great 2014. Mine wasn’t terrible but there was a lot of stress and irritation. Here’s hoping 2015 is filled with good things

7 gradualchanges { 12.31.14 at 11:07 am }

Happy new Year Mel! Thanks for all the work you do to be a resource for this community.

8 Ana { 12.31.14 at 12:45 pm }

I’m sorry you had a tough year. I’m not really into the whole “reflection on the year” thing either. My year wasn’t bad but it just…was. I can’t think of anything else to say about it. And while I have GOALS for myself for the next year, I really can’t bring myself to have any hopes or expectations from the year itself or the rest of the world. Is this adulthood or am I just cynical?

9 Ana { 12.31.14 at 12:46 pm }

Sorry that comment was “sorry for your year” ME ME ME. I really do hope the load lightens for you and yours in the very near future.

10 Northern Star { 12.31.14 at 1:03 pm }

Hang in there Mel. Thanks a million times over for all you do for the community… but keeping it real for you is what matters most. Happy new year and all the best to you, Josh and the kiddies!

11 Tara { 12.31.14 at 3:09 pm }

Oh I SOOOO totally relate to this post. Especially the first part about having some guilt over saying it was a bad year considering what a lot of other people have been through. Still… it sucked for you. (And me too.)

Here’s to letting go of old to let in the new. Here’s to hoping for simply more good than bad. Here’s to someone throwing you a flotation device so at least you can rest and regain your strength so you can paddle to the shore and come out the other side.

I hope 2015 surprises you with a whole lot of good. Happy New Year.

12 Junebug { 12.31.14 at 3:53 pm }

Good riddance to 2014. It’s got to get better!

13 SRB { 12.31.14 at 3:55 pm }

I feel much the same about this year. May the next be more kind and gentle to you.

14 Lori Lavender Luz { 12.31.14 at 5:42 pm }

Yes, this: “You taught me stuff this year that I really didn’t want to learn.”

May 2015 be kind and gentle and generous. Can’t wait to dig into Creme. I’m making space for it now by clearing out other stuff.

15 LN { 12.31.14 at 6:50 pm }

Sending good thoughts in your family’s direction. I know how shitty your year has been, and I’m so sorry. When things have improved (and they WILL improve; they have to), you can reflect on this awful time. You’ll have the same type of empathy that I feel. Till then, eyes forward. Surely, this has gone on waaaaay longer than it should have. So gd infuriating!

16 Jess { 12.31.14 at 7:42 pm }

I’m so sorry this year was so tough and shitty for you and your family. I honestly don’t know many people who tout 2014 as a great year, myself included. It could have been worse, sure, but it absolutely could have been a hell of a lot better. I usually do a “goodbye, 20__” post but also felt like this year it would feel worse than others. I’m also tired of hoping the next year will be better and feeling a bit like I’ve tempted fate into a challenge for crappiness. So, let’s hope 2015 is a kinder, gentler year. I am SO looking forward to Creme de la Creme. Thank you so much for everything that you do, and happy New Year!

17 Mali { 12.31.14 at 10:49 pm }

Happy New Year, Mel! I hope you and your family have a wonderful 2015. I am personally hoping this year will be better than 2014. Some things will be harder, I know, but others will be easier. And on this first day of the year, I at least still have undashed hopes for it!

18 Queenie { 01.01.15 at 12:30 am }

Ditto what Lori said. And happy, healthy, happening new year !

19 Rachel { 01.01.15 at 1:34 am }

I hope for you that 2015 is better. I hope that this time, next year, you’ll thinkg “Gosh, that was way better than I had hoped.”

But I get the apprehension about a new year. Each of the last 2 years have been hard in their own way. I think after so many hard years, you can’t help but feel a little apprehension. A new year is full of potential — but potential for both bad and good.

As for the creme, I can’t wait to see it. Thanks for all you do for us bloggers.

20 Persnickety { 01.01.15 at 3:57 am }

Happy new year! And hope that this year will be a more pleasant experience than the last.
2014 was not kind to many.

21 Andy { 01.01.15 at 9:07 am }

Happy New Year to you and your family! I hope 2015 is a good year for all of us.

22 Katherine A { 01.01.15 at 9:12 am }

I’m sorry 2014 was such a tough year. Many hopes and wishes that 2015 is so, so much better.

23 Tiara { 01.01.15 at 4:17 pm }

I have seen many posts saying good riddance to 2014, including my own. I am hoping 2015 turns out better for us all.

24 Betty m { 01.02.15 at 3:44 am }

Happy new year to you and yours!

25 Delenn { 01.02.15 at 7:50 am }

My gosh. Word for flipping word. Your post…my feelings exactly on 2014. It was personally such a tough year. So tough in fact, that I guess I did not notice you were having one too! And I know that other people have had it worse, the world has had it worse…but, you know…tough years are still tough to go through. Glad 2014 is out of here…and we are striving to make 2015 a better year. (and in that I am cautiously optimistic)

26 It Is What It Is { 01.02.15 at 10:31 pm }

I’ve done it, found time to sit and read and comment, something I have SORELY missed.

And, you, my dear friend, reading your words is what I’ve missed most. I have felt disconnect from you as a result and I don’t like how that makes me feel.

I don’t like obligatory or requisite or should posts any more than the next person. I have the kind of hope for the coming year that I do every year but with less naivete.

Miss and love you.

27 Jamie { 01.04.15 at 2:17 am }

I’m sorry to hear that 2014 was not an easy year for you, which I gathered from reading other post throughout the year. I can understand your feelings of not getting overly excited about 2015. It is not about being positive, but being more mindful and living in the moment. We take on what we can hold. Smart lady. Keeping you in my thoughts as we start the new year.

28 Middle Girl { 01.04.15 at 11:59 am }

The year is much too overwhelming to contemplate (back or forward). Working to maintain a more workable model, one day at a time, in three month intervals.

Peace filled new day.

29 Turia { 01.04.15 at 7:57 pm }

THIS: “You taught me stuff this year that I really didn’t want to learn.”

Me too. My Creme post is an old one, but I think it will reflect how 2014 was for me: filled with anger and anxiety. I hope 2015 will be better.

I’m sorry your year was so difficult (I had some sense of this from other posts, but no knowledge of anything specific). Thank you for the Creme. I am slowly working my way through it and enjoying it very much.

I hope 2015 is a gentle and peaceful year for you and yours.

30 loribeth { 01.05.15 at 8:50 pm }

It was a crappy year for a LOT of people I know, online & IRL. For me personally, it wasn’t a really bad year, but it wasn’t really great either. Losing my job was probably the biggest crappy thing that happened, but it was also the catalyst for a new phase of my life to begin. So here’s to 2015 & hoping for better things for all of us to come. 🙂

31 Kasey { 01.06.15 at 3:38 pm }

On paper 2014 was a great year. But with so many things happening it was really hard to enjoy it in the moment. I’d like to say goodbye to stress, but I have a feeling 2015 will be another year of change and at the same time treding along in the same place. So not goodbye, and not exactly bad either.
I’m sorry you’ve had a tough year. I am glad you are keeping the Friday roundup.

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