Requisite End of Year Post
It’s the last day of the year, and we’re supposed to be reflecting on 2014 and looking forward to 2015, but something invisible and scentless and intangible has brought out the don’t wanna in me. I don’t really feel like looking back at this year.
It hasn’t been a good year… for me. I have to couch it like that because let’s be frank: there is something guilt-inducing in saying you’ve had a bad year when you watch the news and hear reporting on other people’s bad years. But, for me, this has been a bit of a crap year with a lot of quick swimming to keep from being dragged under by the current. And we’ve done it; we’ve doggy-paddled our way to 2015, bodies and minds intact, so we’d really appreciate being allowed to leave this river, to have 2015 be about being on the other side vs. finding ourselves back on the first bank and needing to swim through this current all over again.
We’re tired. But we can still manage to keep up a stream of conversation and joking while we swim, out-of-breath, so that’s something.
I also don’t really want to look ahead to 2015 because… I think we’ve been living for so long unable to predict what will happen next that I almost don’t feel mentally prepared to try to predict what will happen next anymore. I sort of look at the next calendar with a feeling of “yes, and?” I have no clue how 2015 will go. Hopefully more good than bad?
The Creme de la Creme of 2014 goes up tomorrow morning. It will likely be the last time that happens. I think a lot of things will gently come to an end from disuse this year, which is okay. Sad in theory, but clearing out the debris makes room for new things. One thing that will not be disappearing is the Friday Blog Roundup (did you read that sentence correctly? I’m keeping it), but it will not go up this Friday. I’m going to let the Creme de la Creme stretch out and breathe for a few days and then post on the weekend.
So that’s where things stand.
My goodbye to 2014: You taught me stuff this year that I really didn’t want to learn. And I can’t say I’m thankful or see any benefit to this knowledge. I would love it if I got some better breathing room in 2015, and maybe the way to do that is to hold onto things a little less tightly. To look at the things that are working — my family, my friends, my creativity — vs. all the things that aren’t working. I mean, you can’t close your eyes entirely to the things that aren’t working, but you don’t need to stare at them all day long without noticing anything else. So… yeah… goodbye 2014. Not sad to see you go. Hopefully you’ll put in a good word for me with 2015.
What is your goodbye to 2014?