Let Us Name Your Elf on a Shelf
Image: DJ Ghost via Flickr
The ChickieNob and I love naming things. I have one of those 10,001 Baby Name books that I use for naming characters, and we like to go through it together, pointing out our favourite names. I keep a running list of favourite names in the front of my notebook just in case we’re away from the book and quickly need to name something. We like naming things so much that sometimes we rename things: our nicknames have nicknames.
Since we have exhausted all the inanimate objects in our house, we are now turning to your house. We’d like to name your Elf on a Shelf.
We don’t want an elf; we just want to name one.
Or two. Or twenty. We’ll name as many as you like. If your elf already has a name or you also don’t want an elf in your house, never fear. We’re also happy to name teapots, toothbrushes, or various stuffed animals. We’re not picky.
We get that Elf on a Shelf is a treasured family tradition, and we get that most people would like to name their own elf, thank you very much. But what about our naming needs? We have deep, overwhelming naming needs and nothing to bestow with a moniker at the moment.
The last thing we got to name was the littleBits arduino that we got. We named it Aviato after the company on Silicon Valley. It was sort of a rushed job; a quick naming just because we wanted to start programming it. I don’t want you to think that we’ll do a similar job naming your elf. We’ll take our time. Really think hard.
It’s just that since the arduino, we’re in a dry spell. I mean, yes, we can rename our dreidels once again, but it’s not the same thing as naming your elf (or other items).
Just answer the following questions in our information-gathering quiz below in the comment section. After all, we don’t want to name your elf Ethel and then discover that Ethel will be residing in a very modern-looking living room. Or name your elf Edward and then discover that you’re Team Jacob. After you answer the questions, we will think long and hard about the best name for your elf and email it to you. In the case of non-elves, maybe leave a link to a picture so we can see what we’re working with. We’d hate to give your teapot the name Alma and find out that it totally looks like a Tiffany, you know?
1. Would you rather go to the beach, a museum, hiking in the woods, or a loud party?
2. Describe the ideal paint colour for your living room. Is it the colour that is currently on your walls or your dream colour?
3. You walk into an ice cream store that has every flavour ever made. What flavour do you order?
4. Do you have pictures of family on the walls, photographs of places, or no art whatsoever?
5. Tell us your favourite book. Or one of your favourite books.
6. Do you like classic or creative names?
7. Movie or television character you’d most like to be stuck next to on a long flight.
8. Is the elf (or object) male, female, or gender-neutral? (We’re only giving you three options due to space, so please be more specific with gender if you need another category.)
Update: The ChickieNob looked at the comments and emails and told Josh, “I have a gazillion things to name!” (Three cheers to hyperbole!) Unfortunately, she also had a lot of math homework (which she should probably do if she thinks gazillion is a real number). It was Common Core math which meant that a good ten minutes were spent trying to figure out this new way to do multiplication, which feels as if it was made-up in a fever dream. She has this under control and is just finishing up all those mandatory things (such as math homework) before she starts the naming process. So keep those naming requests coming.