Going on a Me Date
I decided to ask myself out on a date. It was a combination of Days of Grace’s post coupled with Alphabet Salad’s post. I was just thinking that I like myself, and I’m sort of good company even when I’m remaining silent and just reading because it isn’t socially acceptable to talk to myself in public. So I asked myself out, and surprisingly enough, I accepted. So I picked myself up at 4 o’clock and took myself out for a cup of coffee and a book.
Image: Pen Waggener via Flickr
Most of the other people at the Starbucks were on a Me and You date, and they wanted to talk. They wanted to get to know one another, which is nice and all, but my G-d, did everyone have to know so much about one another? Didn’t they realize that silence is golden, which means that sound is a lesser metal? Did they really need to know how the other one felt about a Jezebel article? Or talk about “the Twitter”? Or go over where they grew up?
You know how there are silent cars on trains? There needs to be a silent coffeehouse for Me dates. No phones. No chit chat. Orders placed in a very quiet whisper.
I told Josh about this idea when I got home, and he leaned close and quoted:
I will give you my order by Whisper-ma-Phone, for the coffee I want to drink is for your ears alone.
Exactly, my little Onceler.
There is a simple solution: go on the date in my kitchen the next time everyone is out of the house. I can get total silence and know that my drink order will be made to my specifications. I’m just saying that a silent cafe, one without music piped over speakers, where every patron is committed to not making noise, and the baristas make perfect drinks with minimal sound, is a cafe that I would definitely patron on my Me dates. If anyone wants to make one.
There are people who like to eat (or drink coffee) alone and people who do not. One time, early on in dating, I knew Josh was eating alone at a restaurant, and I didn’t go in and interrupt him because I assumed he wanted that time alone. It was very O Henry because he had been hoping that I would interrupt.
There are some people who only go out alone (to a restaurant, the movies, a cafe) if they have to be alone, and others who seek it out, scheduling in Me dates.
I’m a Me dater. Which one are you?