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523rd Friday Blog Roundup

My Queen’s Greatest Hits CD died.  I got this CD before I even had a CD player.  An ex-boyfriend from college gave it to me because he knew I loved Queen.  I pointed out that I had no way to play it.  (This was back in the good old days of the Walkman.)  He told me that one day I would own a CD player (a mind-blowing thought at the time) and have a way to listen to it.  He was right about that, and this CD outlived that relationship by a good 18 years.

I love this CD.  It’s one of those things I stress-listen to.  You know how there are books that you stress-read or foods that you stress-eat?  I stress-listen to Queen.

The first few loops of the disc sounded fine this week.  And then the CD started skipping.  And now it pretty much doesn’t play.  I am so sad about this.  Luckily I had uploaded the disc to iTunes, so I can make a new copy for the car or play it off the phone.  But still.  The original disc is toast.

Goodbye Queen disc.  You’ve served me well and brought me much enjoyment.


We are about 1 week away from the Creme de la Creme list CLOSING.

The 2014 Creme de la Creme list is open for entries until December 15th.  No one will be added after December 15th.  Read the post to see how to be a part of the Creme de la Creme, which is open to every member of the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) community.

Consider that your weekly reminder.


Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Two Kids and Counting… Slowly has a post about online infertility communities, separating the outcome of trying from the need to speak with people who understand.  She writes, “I have found over the last two years that it is important to keep in contact with ladies who are still trying or who talk of how tough trying to conceive was when they were, often and without shame.  I don’t ever want to lose the community because I won’t ever forget the struggle no matter how it ends.”  It’s a great post about shared experience.

The Empress and the Fool, in the wait of her final cycle, writes about how hope makes her behave as if she gained no knowledge from the previous cycles.  The two week wait, that saucy minx, comes with the vague symptoms of early pregnancy and plenty of twinges (or not).  As she points out, what has happened has already happened even if she doesn’t know it yet: “we spend the entire second half of it speculating on an outcome that has already been definitively decided – to implant or not to implant.”  Sending lots of good thoughts for that final test.

Searching for Our Silver Lining has a thought-provoking post on how we bandy about the term “bitter.”  She explains, “There’s the classic labeling for someone who is intent on making everyone around them utterly miserable. But I’ve also learned that someone can accuse someone else of being ‘bitter’ as a way to distract from the self-loathing they may be feeling.”  “Bitter” is to infertility what “bitch” is to women: a word used to diminish another person.  Go over and read the whole post.

Mama Bean Parenting has a gorgeous post (thank you, Ellen!) about rolling the dice when she closes her eyes, never knowing if she’ll be thinking about the present that never was or the past that was.  A long time ago, she had a very different understanding of pregnancy: “Once upon a time, when childbirth was only TV shows and rose-tinted stories, this dream was mine to craft. I could look forward with an open mind and a hopeful heart about the exciting possibilities of My Turn.  Not anymore.”  Go read this very powerful post about her un-children.

Lastly, At Least I Still Have Humour realizes she can never say “guess what” again.  You’ll have to click over to read the situation (and it will be very very familiar… as anyone who has people around them waiting for news can attest), and also to congratulate her on a job well done with the competition.

The roundup to the Roundup: Goodbye Queen CD.  Your friendly Creme de la Creme reminder.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 28th and December 5th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 Lori Lavender Luz { 12.05.14 at 10:25 am }

I was just thinking the other day how singing at the top of my lungs in an empty car to Bohemian Rhapsody always lifts my mood.

Any way the winnnnd blooooooowssssss……

2 earthandink { 12.05.14 at 12:04 pm }

I am sorry about your Queen cd. I got to see them live. I went with a friend who had a crush on Freddy Mercury. I spent half the concert listening to them and the other half telling her it was futile.

We will, we will rock you!

3 Mrs T { 12.05.14 at 1:53 pm }

I am a Queen fan too! I even had a poster in my college dorm room. And I consider it a parenting win that E requests to sing Bicycle! Bicycle! Bicycle! before bed every night.

4 Tara { 12.05.14 at 2:02 pm }

Bummer about your Queen CD. The other night after a long, stressful day at work and We Are the Champions came on and you know I belted that out at the top of my lungs and felt much better.

5 SuzannaCatherine { 12.05.14 at 2:38 pm }

May you soon find a replacement Queen CD to last another 18 years!

6 Infertile Girl { 12.05.14 at 3:20 pm }

I don’t think I even have any physical CDs anymore. If I do buy a CD rather than just downloading that album it goes onto iTunes and then disappears into the abyss with all of my other old CDs. I don’t like having lots of “stuff” anyways, so suits me just fine!

I loved a post by Dreaming of Diapers this week, about what a perfect woman looks like to different people. Excellent post. http://dreamingofdiapers.com/2014/12/05/perspective-perfect-woman/

7 Mali { 12.05.14 at 3:22 pm }

Aah Queen. It brings back memories of school camps, of dancing madly in the living room, of the Ben Elton Musical “We Will Rock You” in London, and most recently of driving through Italy last year.

I have a blogpost to recommend (and recommend very highly) this week. A rarely heard male perspective, the Barreness invited the Barren to blog on her post this week about how infertility has affected him. http://the-barreness.blogspot.com/2014/12/thoughts-from-barren.html

8 SRB { 12.05.14 at 3:24 pm }

Bummer about your CD, man. I have had to replace my Blue Album (Weezer) for similar reasons. There is nothing like a good car concert to cleanse the day off you.

9 Isabelle { 12.05.14 at 3:49 pm }

I also love Dreaming of Diapers’ post this week that Infertile Girl mentioned about. My other pick is this:
It’s a great discussion about what we say to people in the trenches (i.e. Have hope! Don’t give up!) and how that affects us.

10 Working mom of 2 { 12.06.14 at 1:48 am }

Was it sort of a maroon color? We have that one. Recently my just turned 2 year old had been walking around saying “we will rock you” (not we will we will rock you, but still). We think maybe her daycare center has a child’s version b/c we haven’t played our CD *that* many times with her present.

I can’t hear B. Rhapsody without the Wayne’s World car scene coming to mind (they even showed it at the 2012 opening or closing ceremonies, I can’t remember which). I want some red licorice rope.

11 A. { 12.06.14 at 5:17 am }

Hey! Thanks for including my post on your list this week! I’m always surprised to see myself here.

To pay that forward, I want to mention The Unexpected Trip’s letter to her unborn son the night before her induction: http://theunexpectedtrip.wordpress.com/2014/12/02/dear-simon/
It is a heart-wrenchingly beautiful retrospective on her journey through pregnancy after RPL that is oozing with so much warmth and light and anticipation for the parenting adventure ahead 🙂

12 SecondVoice { 12.06.14 at 3:12 pm }

Wow, thank you so much for linking to my blog! A ton of people have commented and congratulated me on my accomplishment and it made me feel really good about it and definitely restored the proud feelings that I had lost to pregnancy questioning. I really appreciate you doing that and it’s made a huge difference in my week. Thank you.

13 Mali { 12.07.14 at 12:59 am }

Back again. I go weeks without nominating a post for the second chance list, and then I find two in a matter of days. I’ve just read Infertility Honesty’s post about things in life that are “meant to be” … or not. It is definitely worth sharing. http://infertilityhonesty.com/2014/12/01/adios-meant-to-be/

14 Elisha { 12.09.14 at 6:02 pm }

I used to hate the circumstances that I had been given, but I have learned to embrace them because I now know that without them, I couldn’t minister to other woman and give the love, comfort, hope, strength and encouragement I know they need and when they need it most.


15 Sharon { 12.10.14 at 3:08 pm }
16 Sarah { 12.12.14 at 11:24 am }

Thanks for the nod, Mali! And Mel, my sincerest condolences for the loss of your Queen cd.

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