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#MicroblogMondays 2: Dye My Hair

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I was walking with a woman I barely know when she said, “Did you know that your hair is two colours?”  I nodded.  She continued, “One colour is brown.  And the other is grey.”

“Yes,” I responded.

“Did you know that there is dye that can make all your hair brown?”

“Yes,” I said.  “I know about dye.”

She nodded.  “Some people have two colours in their hair.  Brown and blonde.  But that is not you.  You have brown and grey.”

We don’t really need to debate the rudeness of this exchange.  I’m more commenting on it because I think about the colour of my hair a lot.  There is not one molecule in my body interested in dyeing my hair.  Yet at the same time, every single molecule in my body wants my hair to be back to brown.  My molecules fight a lot.

I would never think like this if it wasn’t conveyed to women my age that we should dye our hair, that is makes us look old or different from our peers if we don’t.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.

This week’s list is closed.  But come back next Monday for a new list:

1. Persnickety chickadee 23. Mrs T 45. LAM
2. Karen 24. dennasus 46. A.
3. Serenity 25. D 47. Illanare
4. Mali 26. ANDMom 48. Old Lady and No Baby
5. Emma 27. Non Sequitur Chica 49. queenjohnsonclan
6. Mali (2nd blog) 28. Jamie @ Sticky Feet 50. Rachel
7. Turia 29. Corinne@ Everyday Gyaan 51. Isabelle
8. Heather 30. Buttermilk 52. Queenie
9. Archana 31. Tara 53. Amy
10. lostintranslation 32. S 54. Shannon
11. Deborah 33. Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles 55. Stacie
12. Kate 34. Elizabeth 56. Katie
13. Petunia 35. Cindy 57. Stacie
14. Obie 36. gradual changes 58. Northern Star
15. Inconceivable! 37. Laurel 59. Climbing the Pomegranate Tree
16. Lisa 38. Just Heather 60. Miss Conception
17. Living the Dream 39. Misty 61. Jamie
18. sharah 40. Tiff 62. Summer
19. loribeth 41. Elaine LK 63. articulation
20. Mina 42. My Grandmother’s Hula (by Running Nekkid) 64. Ke Anne
21. Daryl 43. Kimberly
22. JB 44. Relaxed No More

54 comments

1 Persnickety { 09.08.14 at 5:35 am }

I have noticed more younger women with grey ( natural grey) lately. So maybe there is some push back? I do dye my hair, but it is to get other colours-blonde, or red, or just a darker brown. But I also don’t think I have many grey hairs, on my head at least. Eyelashes yes, but I won’t dye those.
And wow, would never tell someone to dye their hair!

2 Rachel { 09.08.14 at 5:52 am }

Some people amaze me with the comments they make, without even realizing or caring that they’re rude. Yikes.

I think brown and grey is sophisticated! Besides, getting older is something not everyone gets to be blessed with…so I think we, as a society, need to dismiss this desire to be younger and embrace aging with thankfulness and appreciation. So where your browns and greys proudly! 🙂

3 Rachel { 09.08.14 at 5:53 am }

**** wear! Not where!

4 Karen { 09.08.14 at 6:26 am }

My best friend once saw a new hairdresser who tried to push her to dye her hair; even said to her: “but what does your HUSBAND think about this grey?” Needless to say, it was the only time she saw that hairdresser – she stopped going to that salon.

I love when I see a woman with her natural hair color – when I can see the grey AND brown or blonde or red or white all together.

5 Emma { 09.08.14 at 6:55 am }

Oh my gosh. People….

I’m noticing more gray. I want to dye it, but I don’t think there is enough of it to justify dyeing.

6 Mali { 09.08.14 at 7:13 am }

I can’t believe that woman!
An annoying colleague pointed out to me that I started going grey at 26 – my father’s genes. I always thought I’d go grey naturally – until I started going Getty so young. So I dye my hair. It’s pretty much my only vanity. It’s hard enough being 51 and looking for work, without being grey as well.

7 Mali { 09.08.14 at 7:14 am }

Getty? I mean, GREY!

8 Turia { 09.08.14 at 7:24 am }

The rudeness of some people is just unbelievable. I hope I don’t dye my hair when the grey muscles in (I have some grey hairs, but not many and they don’t, at the moment, seem to be multiplying).

9 lostintranslation { 09.08.14 at 7:49 am }

What was the woman’s hair color? (sorry, just curious). I’m sure she also has the “just relax” comment on the tip of her tongue… sigh…

10 Deborah { 09.08.14 at 7:59 am }

My grey hairs are strident; they stand on end, won’t conform to any gel or lotion. I’ve tried to dye them to trick them into behaving. They were not having it–refused to change colors. Hence, I keep all my hairs as closely cropped as possible.

The kindness of strangers. Wow.

11 Kate { 09.08.14 at 8:00 am }

After reading all these “Divergent” books, all the cool kids in the future have two colors in their hair, so you must be one of the cool kids!

12 Tiara { 09.08.14 at 8:28 am }

I’m just not ready to be grey even though obviously my hair is! The way I see myself in my head just doesn’t suit grey hair. I like the me I see in my head, not so much the one I see in my mirror.

13 Petunia { 09.08.14 at 8:33 am }

I get so sick of random strangers wanting to discuss personal things about my life. Having twins just makes the attention worse. Seriously, the number of times I want to tell people to MYOFB is ridiculous!

14 Living the Dream { 09.08.14 at 8:41 am }

I’ve always admired women who let their gray come in. Dyeing is fine if that’s what one likes. But I’ve never submitted to gray looking bad on women. I think it looks really beautiful. High five to you for rocking your natural look and aging gracefully.

15 Lisa { 09.08.14 at 8:45 am }

I want to smack that woman for you. How incredibly rude! I’m just letting my grays go. I think there’s something really beautiful and sophisticated about a woman with straight up gray hair (not the “dog peed on my head” color). I saw a woman in Target with this hair just this weekend. We kept ending up in the same aisles and I just kept looking at her hair. I probably should have just told her I liked her hair since she probably thought I was staring at her because she had twins with her.

16 Katherine A { 09.08.14 at 8:53 am }

Wow. That is just…wow. My mouth was literally hanging open when I read that exchange. I’m sorry you had to deal with such rudeness. I don’t understand why some people think that kind of comment is even slightly okay.

I’m just starting to notice some gray hairs cropping up in my hair. We’ll see…I hear you about the molecules that fight a lot. On one hand, I resist the idea that beauty should be anything other than my natural color – including the gray – and I don’t want to dye my hair but on the other, well, I read too many damn ‘beauty’ magazines/tips/etc.

17 a { 09.08.14 at 9:05 am }

Nice! My daughter’s friend told me that she thought I was my daughter’s grandmother. I think it’s because of the grey. But I have a lovely streak right at the front of my head that I’ve chosen to emphasize. And I can’t even begin to describe the level of sarcasm that would have been in my response to that woman. Of course, my standard response is “Once I start dyeing my hair, I’ll never be able to stop. I’m not willing to make that kind of financial commitment.”

18 sharah { 09.08.14 at 9:14 am }

I got my first grey when I was 13 and started dyeing before I graduated from high school. I’ve always said that once it’s all white, I’ll stop. But until then, I’m in the salon every 5 or 6 weeks to cover it up.

19 loribeth { 09.08.14 at 9:22 am }

Yikes, talk about rude. :p I have mixed feelings about grey hair. I know I should be happy to be me, and I don’t think I look AWFUL when I let my hair stay natural — but it’s hard to change a lifetime of cultural messages. 😉 I’ve been doing highlights in my hair for 15+ years now, hoping they would sort of blend in with the silver highlights 😉 but the silver started to outnumber the gold :p — and a few years ago my hairdresser actually pouted until I let her put in some colour as well as highlights.

So I do colour my hair, but only 2-3 times a year — generally when I’m heading home to see my mother. lol. 😉 It does look nice (and as Mali pointed out, it’s tough enough being a 50-something woman in the workplace or job market these days…) — but it’s expensive and time-consuming to keep up. :p I do like the look of a nice head of pure grey hair — my aunt (whom I resemble) has gorgeous grey hair, & if I wind up looking like her when I’m her age, I’ll be happy. It’s just that in-between getting there stuff that’s hard to handle (like most transitions, I guess!).

This book is in my gargantuan “to read” pile, & might interest you:

http://www.annekreamer.com/going-gray

20 Mina { 09.08.14 at 9:25 am }

My molecules are also fighting a lot, and the vain ones beg me to go dye my hair, while the reasonable ones remind me how much I hate that kind of committment to the hair salon. That said, I got very crossed with a hairdresser when she was pushing the idea of dyeing my hair, and could not make her stop until I told her it was not her business. Which I regretted, but not as much as the ugly haircut I got. I didn’t think one could do a sloppy job with a simple bob, but this one could.

Anyway, I wonder what are these people thinking when they are pointing out the obvious? Do they think we own no mirrors at home? Do they think we are blind? Why can’t they believe us when we say we know we’ve got grey hairs, and a fair number of them? And ultimately, why are they bothered, and/or offended by our grey hairs? What did our grey hairs ever did to them?

21 Valery { 09.08.14 at 9:28 am }

The neighbour accross the street from where I grew up coloured her hair the brown it was before. I can’t describe the relief when 20 years later she went trough lighter and lighter to her real colour, which then was a splendid silvery white.
I know, not the same thing. I just prefer natural.

I wonder what this woman you encountered would have to say about my hair. The postpartum hair is brown, grey, short and CURLY, while the rest of my hair is straight with a wave at the end.
And to be (even more) honest I think the grey is more white.

22 Heather { 09.08.14 at 9:55 am }

Accepting my hair going grey was the easiest thing I ever for me. It’s part of growing up. What I cannot accept so easily is the old lady knees that I’m starting to see on my body. You know the sagging skin around the knees. Ack!

23 fifi { 09.08.14 at 10:14 am }

Ugh. It’s the concerned I’m-only-saying-this-for-your-own-good tone that’s so grating. Like you hadn’t looked at yourself before then or you didn’t realise that you were letting down the side.

Here’s a conversation I had a few years ago.
Tactless woman: “Do you know you’re very pale?”
Me: “I am? Thank you for pointing this out, or I’d never have noticed.”
Tactless woman: “I used to be very pale. Then I started using fake tan, and I now look so much healthier.”
Me: “That’s nice.”
Tactless woman: “Yes, I’m no longer afraid to wear strappy dresses and shorts in summer.”
Me: “Funny, I wear summer clothes without fear, even with my white legs.”
Tactless woman:
Me: “I’m just naturally pale, like Nicole Kidman and Kiera Knightly. They don’t wear fake tan, and they still look good.”
Tactless woman: “Ah, but they’re thin, so they can get away with it!”
Me:

24 Working mom of 2 { 09.08.14 at 10:16 am }

Wow, that was rude.

However, have to say I started getting greys at 26 and have been dying ever since. At this point there is no natural brown left, just yucky dull grayish brown plus grey. Looks awful. So I dye. It’s bad enough that due to if I didn’t have my kids til 42 and 44 (started trying at 36), I don’t need to give ppl extra reasons to think I’m grandma.

25 D { 09.08.14 at 10:49 am }

The first thing that I was thinking when I read this post was that it sounds like you were having an exchange with a 5 or 6 year old. Some people should just keep their thoughts to themselves!

I hear you on the hair-dying. I have never dyed my hair. I once got highlights, which was a big deal for me, but the thought of a full-out dye makes me cringe, too. For now, I am still plucking…and plucking…and plucking.

26 ANDMom { 09.08.14 at 10:52 am }

I refuse to dye my hair – way too much upkeep. I also don’t wear makeup, pretty much ever. Take me as I am or leave me.

27 Tracie { 09.08.14 at 10:58 am }

I have quite a bit of grey in my very long dark brown hair, and I’m only 31. People I know, and even more people I don’t know, constantly feel comfortable telling me all about how I should dye it.

I’m embracing my grey, and staying natural. Partly because I am too lazy to keep up with dying it. Partly because I am a fan of natural and loving myself the way I am. And just a little bit….because I don’t want to give in to all those rude people who have made comments over the years.

28 nonsequiturchica { 09.08.14 at 11:11 am }

I do dye my hair….I wish that I didn’t feel the need to do so but I started to get too much gray hair and I feel too young to have as much gray as I do. Someday I will stop doing it though…

29 Buttermilk { 09.08.14 at 11:39 am }

I’m hoping to go gray gracefully. That’s my plan. We’ll see what happens when they start coming in more prominently. I’m really a low-maintenance type of gal.

30 Corinne Rodrigues { 09.08.14 at 11:43 am }

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to politely tell hair stylists that I’m happy with my greys! I’m not sure why my grey hair makes other people uncomfortable – I love it!

31 Jessica { 09.08.14 at 11:45 am }

That seems like such an odd conversation to me. Who really thinks this is a polite conversation to have with someone you barely know?

32 Sharon { 09.08.14 at 11:51 am }

I dyed my hair (for fun and then to cover grays) for years. I only recently gave it up because, since my sons have been born, it’s too much upkeep and too expensive. I am trying to learn to live with the grays, but I won’t lie: it’s been hard for me.

Which has surprised me a bit because, in the main, I don’t do too many things for vanity. Dyeing my grays and wearing contact lenses were pretty much my only regular concessions.

33 Vidya Sury { 09.08.14 at 11:58 am }

Can’t escape those nosey ones eh? Glad to be here, Mel.

I get a lot of advice about coloring my hair, how it looks as it greys and so on and so forth. 😀 I hear those molecules arguing too. And just share my coffee with them! ♥

34 Elizabeth { 09.08.14 at 12:53 pm }

What a rude woman.

I looked at how late and how slowly my mom got gray hair (which she dyes black) and figured I could handle a little salt in my pepper once I hit 40. And that’s exactly how it has gone for me. I feel lucky.

35 gradualchanges { 09.08.14 at 1:02 pm }

Wow… you really can’t make this stuff up. If it were a good friend I could understand this being a very sarcastic conversation but someone you don’t know well, that’s just rude. I hate to generalize but I wonder if this person has some social disorder issue, at the very least she’s lacking a common decency filter for what comes out of her mouth.

36 Cynthia Samuels { 09.08.14 at 1:31 pm }

I have been coloring my hair for so long that I don’t know what color it really IS but here’s the dirty little secret:

Women who choose to “go grey” are usually women with complexions that work with grey hair. A pale blonde like me literally disappears into the void without hair color. Mel I can see you getting streakier and streakier and it looking way cool the whole way. You have the skin and wonderfully expressive face for it. Or for NOT it. So there you are.

By the way – that woman sounds like one who has either no filters or some sort of mental issue. It’s the way a child would broach things.

Anyway we’re all gorgeous when we feel gorgeous so to each her very very own.

37 JustHeather { 09.08.14 at 2:00 pm }

LOL. That’s just…weird. I too have two colors (ok, now three if you include grey) in my hair naturally: dishwater blond and dark brown. I was born with a head of dark brown hair (like my mom’s) and then all that baby hair fell out to be replaced with blond-stuff that stayed my entire life, except for one strip in the back that is dark brown.

I want to dye my hair dark blue, forest green or some other “fun” color, just because. Not because of grey, but just because I want loud hair. Not sure if I’ll do more than stripes anymore these days, I’m feeling old.

38 celeste { 09.08.14 at 2:20 pm }

Oh my gosh, some people! I love my grey hair and would happily tell anyone with a rude-ass comment like that exactly where to shove it.

Erk! Also, LOVE the idea of #MicroblogMondays. Let’s see if I can write anything shorter than 1500 words – hah! I want to join!

39 Tiff { 09.08.14 at 2:29 pm }

As long as you don’t have, like, a skunk stripe or anything on your head from obvious grow-out, then what is this woman’s point?

Yeesh.

40 RelaxedNoMore { 09.08.14 at 4:09 pm }

My mom and all her sisters went first grey and then white at a relatively young age (grey before they turned 50). As far as I recall, my mom never dyed but one of her sisters did for a very long time. She looked much better when she stopped.

For some unfathomable reason, this reminds me of a visit to Victoria’s Secret with one of my college friends, something like 15 years ago. We wanted to buy unpadded bras. The saleslady said “But then your nipples will show”. My friend answered “Well, that’s the point”. *shockedlookonsaleslady’sface*

41 LAM { 09.08.14 at 4:54 pm }

First, let me thank you for #MicroblogMondays. I have gotten through my day with a feeling of accomplishment just for having posted mine this a.m. It was a few words, but it and knowing I have this every week, means so much.

As for the hair comments, I can relate! My mother is the worst about it. I go through phases where I love to dye, different colors, whatever, hair is a plaything for me. But recently, I wanted to go natural. (It’s been nice not having to spend the time coloring my hair in the bathroom and cleaning up any stains…). She took one look when she saw me for the first time with my natural roots a few inches out. “Oh,” was all she could say, then asked when I was coloring it again, pointing out “all those greys.” I have a few. They are not grey, they are silver & sparkly, and I’ve come to think of them as my “magical unicorn hair” because why not? Anyway, I really wish people would just keep their mouths shut unless they have something helpful, productive, or empowering to say (especially to a stranger!).

42 Illanare { 09.08.14 at 5:04 pm }

I dyed out the grey for the first time earlier this year; it looked good for a few weeks until the roots reappeared. Then I looked like I’d been painting ceilings 🙁

43 Amber { 09.08.14 at 5:42 pm }

Oh my gosh. Some people. She’s a woman, she should know better than to point that out!

44 Isabelle { 09.08.14 at 7:10 pm }

People should really learn to shut up.

45 Queenie { 09.08.14 at 8:37 pm }

Hmmm. . .she sounds like she has really poor social skills. Maybe she has Asperger’s? The next time you see her, you should point that out and then ask her. 🙂

46 Amy { 09.08.14 at 8:41 pm }

I dye my hair. I keep thinking, how long can I keep this up? At some point I’m going to look ridiculous with dark hair. Also humbling when you teach middle school and 100 students comment on your hair color.

47 Shannon { 09.08.14 at 9:51 pm }

Grey hair looks fabulous on other people….I wish I liked it on my own head.

48 Megan { 09.08.14 at 11:49 pm }

Grey is all the rage with the younger people – I see a lot of them dying it “silver!” So just call it silver and let it shine. 🙂

49 Jamie { 09.09.14 at 1:04 am }

Wow, rude. As I was reading the conversation, I kept thinking that the woman sounded like a preschooler…and not in the good way.

I think every person should feel free enough in themselves to dye or not dye their hair, whatever floats your fancy and makes you feel good. I would hope someone who chooses to dye their hair does not do it out of shame. It makes me sad when society puts pressure on women on their physical attributes.

I have a few grey/white hairs, but have noticed a few more cropping up lately. I keep telling myself they are wispy blonde hairs mixing in with the strawberry blonde mix. I’ve told myself that if I were to dye my hair, I’d go blonde over trying to capture my multi-tonal red. But, I really don’t want the upkeep. Meh. Still time to decide.

50 staciet { 09.09.14 at 1:34 am }

The nerve of that woman! Sheesh!

I started dying my hair dark brown after a m/c last year. I just needed to be different, so I was for a while. It lasted about a year before I was ready to go back to the old (blonde) me.

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