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511th Friday Blog Roundup

I can’t even…

Fine, I will.

The most offensive quotes from Time magazine’s “Why Not Having Kids Makes Some People Crazy” (beyond the title itself) are thankfully all crowded in the beginning of the article, such as, “So it’s not just whether they had kids that made people depressed or content, it’s how badly they wanted them.” [Additionally offensive emphasis is actually theirs and not mine.]  So just skip the first few paragraphs.

If you can get past the assumption drawn by the media reporting on the study that the depression that follows infertility is somehow tied to how badly you wanted to be a parent, you will get to a valid, important point made by the study itself: “The paper, which was published online on Sept. 10 in Human Reproduction, recommends sustained psychological counseling for people who did not conceive after fertility treatments and a lot of frank talk about the possibility of failure during the treatments.”

Yes, that would be very helpful, and certainly, with the cost of services, clinics should be able to employ more therapists in order to serve their patients and make sure they feel emotionally cared for while they treat their infertility.

You know… take care of people’s brains instead of just their ovaries.


Yes, this is your weekly reminder to back up your blog, social media accounts, and email.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

  • Uh… there were none.  People found zero posts worthy of being noticed?

Okay, now my choices this week.

MissConception has a post about where she tells us a secret.  She admits, “I don’t think we will ever have another child.  With no more frozen embryos, no plans for another IVF, and no plans to adopt, we are dealing with trying to conceive all on our own again.”  It’s about listening to your gut feelings and acknowledging them, even when you don’t want them to be true.  A really good, thought-provoking post.

A tiny post from Hapa Hopes about the embryologist’s storage bill.  So tiny that I fear writing about it will lessen the punch of the post.  Click over to read because it’s almost poetry.

So Dear and Yet So Far has a quiet post about the last time she was pregnant, seven years ago.  The post is like a boat bobbing in the harbour before heading into the storm.  She needs to keep writing the story, but of course you wish it had a different ending, too.  Holding her in my heart.

Lastly, I Can Do This has a post about the distance she feels with certain friendships.  After years of remaining supportive of friends once they became pregnant, she is finding that she is not getting to enjoy the same thing back from her current friends who are still trying.  She writes, “I often wonder if these woman that turn off the support once you get pregnant will expect support during their pregnancies? I will support a friend regardless, like I always have, but I feel it is very unfair to have support and then to get pregnant and be treated like you have a transmittable disease. I want people to know that once you get pregnant, we still have feelings also. ”  I think it’s important post to read, not because the situation has a simple answer but because we sometimes need to hear hard words and think about them.

The roundup to the Roundup: This study sounds interesting, the coverage less so.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 5th and 12th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 Mali { 09.12.14 at 7:31 am }

Loribeth and I (and possiby others) have also posted on that article – or rather the study it discusses – but on the other aspects of it. That phrase “it’s how badly they wanted them” made me cringe too. Your advice to pass over the first paras is sound! And the headline … Seriously who comes up with these? Argh! I can only imagine that the study’s authors – who, as you said, came up with sound recommendations for more psychological support – cringed too.

2 nonsequiturchica { 09.12.14 at 10:31 am }

I loved Bits and Peaces post on introducing her new life to her old life. http://bitsinpeaces.blogspot.com/2014/09/introducing-new-to-old.html

3 Mrs T (missohkay) { 09.12.14 at 10:34 am }

Hoo boy, better make sure the roundup isn’t empty for next week! I submit J’s post on marking the one-year anniversary of her twin’s autism diagnosis http://adventuresofchickenandham.wordpress.com/2014/09/12/one-year-of-autism/ and P’s post on being honest about how exhausting parenting a growing-up micropremie can be: http://handpickedmiracle.wordpress.com/2014/09/10/exhausted/

4 Lisa { 09.12.14 at 10:54 am }

Ugh that headline made my eyes burn. And I hate it when people talk about childbearing as a “goal.” I don’t know what a better term would be, but talking about something that is so far out of your control as being a “goal” rubs me the wrong way.

Thanks for the kind shout out and the kick in the pants to blog and get more involved again with the microblogging idea.

My roundup pick: http://searchingforoursilverlining.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-arrival-of-lilah-and-olivia-rapp.html because yay for good news and support.

5 Mrs T (missohkay) { 09.12.14 at 10:58 am }

Ugh, typo in my comment. I can barely stand it.

6 fifi { 09.12.14 at 11:14 am }

My cynical side thinks that fertility clinics don’t want “frank talk about the possibility of failure”, because then you might end treatments before your wallet or your sanity does.

7 Cristy { 09.12.14 at 3:58 pm }

I SO agree! The TIME article made me want to throw things. As Loribeth said, there were many “duh” moments in that piece. But then again, when it comes to society’s outlook on infertility, it’s hard not to expect the “duh.”

8 Mali { 09.13.14 at 12:40 am }

Perhaps appropriately, given the conversation above, Pamela wrote about what happens when doctors see markets, not people.

9 Bronwyn { 09.13.14 at 2:48 am }

Ugh, so, the media again. Some things just aren’t best portrayed using a sensationalist formula. I get that it sells but honestly, so does providing infertility treatment without adequate psychological support.

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