American Greetings Wants You to Know That Dads Suck… Until Father’s Day
Parenting is hard. You are responsible for another human being, 24/7. There are no sick days, no vacation days. (Unless you have child care, though even when you’re not there, you’re still technically responsible for this other person’s life.) When you sign on to parent, you have to parent regardless of whatever else is happening in your life. So I get it. It’s hard.
American Greetings, the card company, put out a “viral” video* showing hapless people applying for a job with no pay or breaks. The people are dumbfounded. How can this be? And then — gotcha! — the job turns out to be motherhood. Yes, motherhood is the toughest job in the world. I know that because the video is called “World’s Toughest Job” so you know that it has to be 100% factually true in order to be on the Internet.
I watched this video with Josh, bouncing up and down on the sofa as the punchline unfolded, and I started shouting out the other half of that message, the one given to men on a daily basis in the country. DADS SUCK. Just bring home the bacon and then go back to being remote and out-of-touch with your feelings in your little man cave while we women do the REAL work of raising children. Maaaaaaaaaaybe, if you’re lucky, we’ll let you babysit your own kids. But other than that, suck it, Dads, because even American Greetings doesn’t think you do jack shit.
Oh… wait… until June when it’s Father’s Day and they want us to buy cards for that holiday. Then I’m sure we’ll have another viral video to thank dads for all they do.
So Dads, you only suck and are worthless for another 2 months. Then we’ll acknowledge you.
But until then, American Greetings just wants you to know that you do not hold the position of toughest job. That goes to mothers. Until May 12th.
A side note to my dad: Thank you for the amazing job you do — STILL — in raising me. I am, in a large part, who I am thanks to you.
A side note to Josh: The fact that you would contemplate a V.F.D. tattoo shows just how far you would go to say in no uncertain terms to your kids that anything they love is loved by you too because you want to see the world through their eyes. There is no one I would want to parent with more than you. You are an amazing partner in all of this craziness.
A side note to American Greetings: I get it. It’s easy to market to certain niches — such as mothers — and much harder to market to an amorphous one such as “women.” But there are a shit-ton of us who are not mothers or who are mothers and do not want to be marketed to like this every May. We don’t need to create a hierarchy, we don’t need to label things the “toughest,” and we certainly don’t need to be walked through emotional hoops like a dog doing tricks in order to be sold cards. Diversifying would help you to sell more cards rather than alienating a base. So… please… stop. By which I mean, stop the endless Mother’s Day ads and try thinking through the myriad situations that people find themselves in where a card would be gratefully appreciated.
* I love it when news sites describe a video on YouTube as a “viral” video. How, pray tell, does one go about creating a “viral” video? Do they mean a video that unintentionally went viral? They do know that you can’t choose whether or not a video spreads from eyes to eyes. Though making people angry or making people cry are two very good ways to get your message out there to a lot of people in a very manipulative manner.