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486th Friday Blog Roundup

The “Other” category on my iTunes account is back up to over 6 GB.  An Applecare technician was able to reduce it to a reasonable amount right before Christmas.  Unfortunately, she did this by giving me terrible advice that erased my phone completely, causing me to lose my contacts, calendar, and photos.  But… you know… the “Other” category was smaller afterward, so it was an overall win?

And then I synced my phone and it jumped to 2 GB.  I synced again and it was over 4 GB.  And today, I had to sync my phone, and now it’s over 6 GB.

I’ve tried all the suggestions I could find online: turning off the phone while it’s plugged into iTunes (this is supposed to reboot it?), deleting old messages, deleting the cache in Safari, deleting apps that I added recently.

Before I call Applecare again and risk losing what I’ve been able to reconstruct, does anyone know how to reduce the amount of space taken up by “Other” in the phone?  I’m assuming, by this point, that it’s corrupted files because the number jumps with each sync.  But how do I get those corrupted files off the phone?  Or maybe it isn’t corrupted files.  Has anyone else had a problem with the “Other” category on iTunes, and how did you reduce the size of that category?


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

I’m going to touch the third rail here and link to two posts that I think are important posts to read.  We will never move forward by sweeping our foibles under the rug.

A+ Effort has a post about positive adoption language, and the incident that happened on Facebook this week.  She explains, “Bottom line: language matters. We, the infertility community, KNOW THAT. We bristle at ‘just relax’ or ‘it’s God’s will.’ We spend a lot of energy educating those around us that we have a medical problem and that it’s unthinkably rude to suggest maybe we aren’t meant to be parents … The community of adoptive parents* has as strong of an interest in teaching people to use appropriate language about adoption…”  It’s a wonderful, respectful, thought-provoking post that points out that talking about difficult subjects doesn’t require perfection, but it does require the listener and the speaker to both be able to communicate openly with one another.

Additionally, From IF to When has decided to move to a new blog space, and also touches on the Facebook incident.  Her post shines light on the responsibility of a host.  If two guests started shouting at each other in your living room, you would jump into the fight and try to quell the hurt feelings.  You would maybe moderate the conversation between the two sides so they could come to a place of peace.  You wouldn’t stay in the kitchen, humming to yourself while you refilled the veggie dip bowl.  And the same goes for online gatherings.  When arguments bubble up, it is the host’s responsibility to address the tension: in another blog post, within the comment section, in individual emails, in a new thread.  There are plenty of options, but silence or saying that you don’t have time to monitor comments isn’t one of them when it comes to responsible hosting.  Or, silence/lack of monitoring is an option, but then the host needs to deal with the consequences of that silence.  In this case, the silence hurt the community, and as I stated above, the only way forward through hurt feelings is forward.  Yes, it may be upsetting to dredge up comfortable thoughts, but really, it weakens our community when we can’t speak openly with one another.  Ultimately, if people are willing to listen and respond, a lot of good can come from those tough conversations.

And now onto other topics.

A Greater Yes is moving from family building to family living in this post about being almost done (in 2015) with trying to conceive.  After being ensconced in this mindset for half of her life, she muses about how difficult it will be to stop thinking in terms of embryos and cycles after 16 years.  She writes, “Honestly, I don’t know how to be anyone but this one. Almost my entire adult life has revolved around trying to become a mother. And now to complete our family. Yet I look forward to letting this chapter close and just focus on the children that I do have. No more looking for embryos. No more saving money for treatments. No more comparing medication prices. Just living.”  It’s exciting and settling and scary, all at the same time.

Lastly, If You Don’t Stand for Something has a post about emerging from the long winter.  It’s been a hard period of time, and all of her energy has been going into getting through it. (Well, and her remaining energy is going to Girl Guides — thank you!)  I like this post because it’s a glimpse into someone else’s life, like looking through a window.

The roundup to the Roundup: Save me from the “Other” on my phone.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 14th and March 21st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 Katherine A { 03.21.14 at 8:01 am }

I really, really loved your post on why you read blogs. It just captures the essence of why people connect with certain voices, especially at certain times or during certain events. It’s a wonderful reminder of why we read and an encouragement to keep writing. Link: https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2014/03/this-is-why-i-read-your-blog/

2 Cait { 03.21.14 at 8:21 am }

We’ve had luck using this for the “other” issue:

3 a.m.s. { 03.21.14 at 8:43 am }

I had a problem with this too and spent several hours digging through various forums until I figured it out. It is corrupt files that just sort of pile up. Unfortunately, that was about a year and a half ago. I’ll see if I can try to find the article I used. It was a pretty simple fix and left everything I WANTED to keep intact (although I made sure to do a backup first, just in case!)

4 Jess { 03.21.14 at 1:00 pm }

Hi Mel, I just wanted to share a blog post that I wrote this week, reflecting on my role/ experience in the ALI community from pre-parenthood to parenthood. One thing that came up for me, personally, is the understanding of how important your voice and this site has been for the community. What I’ve noticed, having been around for awhile, is that the group tends to want to split apart in an us versus them way that is unhealthy, and like Lincoln you have always fought and maintained to try and keep us together. That overcoming our differences would lead to healing. I think I was too mired in my own pain before, but I appreciate it more than ever now. And with that, I’d just like to thank you for all that you do, just in case it hasn’t been said recently. I’ve never felt more welcome anywhere than I do right here. I also am struggling to find my identity in the ALI community and how to keep it healthy for me (as well as my ideas/ concerns about health within the community), all that and more went into this post:

I wished I had written in there what I said above but man, it was long enough. 🙂 in other news, I am finding my voice again and recreating myself and my blog, and trying to grow beyond just ALI, I want to not only blog about that, but other things as I am more than those things. Thanks for providing a wonderful model of how to incorporate all of that into a blog.

Ps- I dealt with a similar iPhone issue before and part of it for me was deleting some voice mails and texts and other things I hadn’t considered. Will have to look into these suggestions above too.

5 Rebecca { 03.21.14 at 1:24 pm }

I guess I’m lucky that I don’t own a cell phone. But with the coming of this child that is about to change.

6 Alexicographer { 03.21.14 at 1:40 pm }

@Rebecca, it’s OK: You can get a cheap yet functional dumb (non-smart cell!) phone through Consumer Cellular and not be plagued with these problems: it’s what I do. I am not connected to the firm in any way except that I have an account (phone) with them.

And — congratulations on your expected new arrival!

7 Chris K { 03.21.14 at 4:02 pm }

I just cleaned out my other. I backed up my phone to itunes. Then I picked “restore my iphone”. That set it back to factory settings. Then I picked my most recent back up to restore its data. This wiped my music so I had to put it back on but I needed an update anyway. That got me under 1 g of other. Good luck!

8 Mrs T (missohkay) { 03.21.14 at 4:19 pm }

Thanks for including me in the Round-up!

9 Katie { 03.21.14 at 5:15 pm }

Thank you for including me, Mel, and for your (as always) profound insight. xo

(PS: I’ve used the cleaning software that Cait referenced above on my iPhone to get rid of the “other” and it worked like a charm. I hope this is a bug that Apple fixes in its next round of software updates!)

10 Becky { 03.21.14 at 9:35 pm }

I recently had a miscarriage and just published the scariest article of my life when I addressed the way society treats an unborn life as a nothing, and fails to grasp the seriousness of a mother losing a child. http://operationwife.com/miscarriage-misconception/ Also, another post that really stuck with me after leaving my computer this week was found on The Lewis Note. http://thelewisnote.blogspot.com/2012/01/melissas-story-stillbirth-at-36-weeks.html Apparently it was written a very long time ago, but I was so struck by how the author mentioned people went about life as though this child never existed, and I rejoiced in that mother’s words when she said she would never allow anyone to take the memory of her little girl away from her. People will pressure us to “let go” but they have no concept of the fact that there is no reason for her to do so. This was her child, and she will always miss her!

11 Knottedfingers { 03.21.14 at 10:29 pm }

I have an iphone and know absolutely almost nothing about it lol! I did just figure out that I could get real photo prints from my instagram photos! That’s my giant thing for today!!

Also hi from ICLW 😉

12 Northern Star { 03.22.14 at 12:15 am }
13 Alicia { 03.22.14 at 12:16 am }
14 Kimberly { 03.22.14 at 2:32 am }

Thank you for the wonderful pick me up today, mentioning my post in the roundup. It may not seem like much but it made me feel good today. It feels good to be back. 🙂

15 loribeth { 03.24.14 at 11:01 am }

This is not actually a blog post — it’s an article in this week’s Macleans (Canada’s national newsmagazine, a la Time or Newsweek) about women living childless/free not by choice. And it’s a surprisingly well written and thoughtful piece (for a change…!) — possibly because the writer talked to several of this community’s most prominent spokespeople/bloggers on this subject. Worth a read!


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