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Level 305 of Candy Crush, You Brought Out the Worst in Me

Remember when I said I was going to stop playing Candy Crush when I hit level 300 (since I missed my other promise to stop playing at level 200)?  I lied*.  Obviously.  Since Level 305 just turned me into a pathetic, frantic, credit-guzzling loser.

Level 305 wasn’t that difficult a level, and I thought I’d pass it in a try or two.  But one or two tries became something more like (cough) 20… maybe more.  And suddenly I wanted it done.  I convinced myself that I had to pass it last night.

So I went online to play because it seemed like the type of level that was less difficult online than it was on a device. (You know that, right? That different levels are easier online vs. on a device?) After a try or two, I got it down to only a few jellies unpopped; the closest I had come to winning up until that point.

I was so tired, and I just wanted to go to bed, and that is why I did what I did.  I had those free Facebook credits they give you when you pass level 35, and I used five of them to purchase five more moves.  That got me closer, but I still couldn’t clear the board.  So when the offer to pay eight credits for more moves and a wrapped candy came up, I took it.  I spent 13 tickets to get past this board.  And the worst part is that I cleared it with one more move, so the other moves were purchased but unused.

After the board cleared and it allowed me to pathetically beg for tickets, I didn’t feel that sense of relief I usually feel.  I felt like those times when I was babysitting as a teenager and I ate all of the family’s sugar cereal.  I mean, yes, the parents usually told me to help myself, but I never knew if they meant it.  So I would eat the cereal and then wash the dish so no one would know that I had gotten into their Count Chocula in a major way.  Because there was a shame in it too, a sense of gluttony.  I was there to do a job, keep their children alive, and instead I was taking food from their mouths.  Well, not actually out of their mouths because that’s gross.  But you know what I mean.  I was stealing breakfast.

Candy Crush gave me the credits as a thank you, but that doesn’t mean I was really meant to spend them.  And not on such a nothing level.  It would be understandable if I spent them on level 350.  But not level 305.  I could have passed that on my own if I hadn’t taken it so damn seriously.

I act as if I’ve never played a game before.

There is no way (that I know of) to get more Candy Crush credits unless I purchase them.  So now when I need a ticket or when I get to a truly hard board, I am screwed.  I feel as if a genie just offered me three wishes and I used one up by stupidly muttering to myself, “I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture of this genie!”

I deserve it.  I deserve it for playing Candy Crush so stupidly.

By the way, I’d like to publicly apologize (now that I’ve admitted to it) to all the families I babysat for: I ate your cereal.

* In my defense, I thought about quitting.  But then I got confused: do I quit before I play level 300, or do I quit after I play level 300?  I decided to go with after level 300, since beforehand, I would only be able to say that I passed 299 levels.  But once I moved onto level 301, it felt uneven again.  So I continued.  It’s a never-ending cycle.

9 comments

1 jodifur { 11.16.13 at 8:43 am }

I’m going to warn you now, there are some terrible, head banging, I want to cry, hard levels coming up.

2 Kathy { 11.16.13 at 9:22 am }

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And yet, we keep playing Candy Crush…

3 April { 11.16.13 at 9:24 am }

Let me warn you about 350 now. It’s a jelly level and it is deceptively hard. I have been stuck there for weeks now. Do not feel bad about using the credits. I’ve done similar to beat a board on occasion. And don’t feel bad about the cereal. Cereal is good.

4 Rebecca { 11.16.13 at 9:26 am }

I ate their cereal too. And their Pop-Tarts. Only because we NEVER got Pop-Tarts at my house.

And Level 181 has me ready to commit some serious felonies if I don’t pass it soon.

5 Amy { 11.16.13 at 2:45 pm }

I ate their gummy snacks. All their gummy snacks.

Stuck on level 147.

6 deathstar { 11.17.13 at 12:18 pm }

My babysitter never eats any of my food. Maybe she thinks I’m trying to poison her or she’s sickened by all the microwave popcorn I have.

I only have 1 credit left and I’m on 116. I’m going to be very sorry, won’t I?

7 persnickety { 11.17.13 at 5:33 pm }

I have forgotten where I was on candy crush- because when my phone decides to reset itself, it erased all of my progress ( and my pocket planes, which caused marital discord on a whole different level until i worked out how to force sync from my ipad (couldn’t do that with candy crush).

It’s interesting- it was addictive, but facing the prospect of having to redo it all again made me realise that I don’t need it.

8 Wolfers { 11.19.13 at 11:05 pm }

After getting to level of 387, I dropped out. The addiction had masked something that I didn’t want to face- and so I decided to go cold turkey to address the situation.

9 Helen Carlson { 01.08.14 at 5:43 pm }

Where and what u have to do to use the free candy crush credits?

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