Talking about The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
There are a lot of children in the blogosphere that I’ve known pre-conception. I knew their parent(s) wanted to have them, and I read their parent(s) thoughts and feelings during the endless cycles or their adoption plan. And then their mother was pregnant or she got the call that she had been matched. Fast forward again and now a child is here, and that child grows up, and that is part of the legacy of being in the ALI blogosphere: we know about children when they are only wishes in someone’s heart, long before they’re here.
This book, Lori Holden’s The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption, is like that.
I’ve known for years that Lori wanted to write a book, a how-to manual that would make open adoption easier for everyone in the triad. Open adoption is something a lot of adoptive parents and birthparents want to do, but there are few books out there to serve as a guide to the experience. How do you navigate the relationship in a way that places the child — the only one who doesn’t get a say in the arrangement — at the center?
And then one day she started writing this book, and then she queried agents, and then she got an agent with her book proposal. Her agent sold the book and she started to write the manuscript. And now, many years down the road from that first spark of an idea, that book has been born and is in people’s hands. Isn’t that crazy? To know about a book when it was only a wish and then to get to hold it.
It’s an important book. It provides a much-needed panoramic look at open adoption, taking the concept of openness and making it a mindset more than a set of requirements. And because it’s a mindset, it becomes a way of thinking that provides you with the answer to any unique situation that develops down the road. I would argue that the ideas in the book are applicable to all parents; not just adoptive parents or birthparents. But, of course, adoption is the focus of this book. From choosing an agency that is going to set you on the right course to even building openness in adoption or donor gamete situations where the birthparents may not be known or accessible.
Which is a long way to say that I’m ecstatic it’s here, and I can’t wait to watch it grow up, changing the face of open adoption one family at a time.
Congratulations, Lori, on a job very well done.
Please return to the main post to read more opinions on Lori Holden’s The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption.