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441st Friday Blog Roundup

Thursday was Take Your Child to Work day.  Since my workplace is also known by another moniker — our living room — I don’t take the kids to work.  It’s always a weird day at school because half the kids are absent.

I first tried to convince them that when the remaining students went around the room telling the teacher their parents’ professions, they should tell their classmates that I’m a circus clown and their father is a famous ice sculptor.

“I’m not doing that,” the ChickieNob informed me.

“Then tell them that I invented grass.  They’ll know what grass is.  It’s on all their lawns.”

“I’m not doing that either.  I’m just going to tell them that you’re a writer.”

“What about telling them that I’m a spy for the Spy Museum.  I spy on other museums and tell them what programs they’re running.”

“No,” the Wolvog told me.

They’re no fun at all.


It has been three years since our last Secret Ode Day, and there has been a request to resurrect this project.  For those who know exactly what I’m talking about, skip directly to the form.  For those who need to understand what Secret Ode Day is, you can read about the history of the Secret Ode Day.  In a nutshell:

Well, basically, the idea behind Secret Ode Days comes from this neighbour growing up whose parents had a floating family holiday where they decorated this tree outside the house with lollipops in the middle of the night and part of the day was to invite all the kids in the neighbourhood to harvest them.  You never knew when the day would happen, so every child woke up each morning and ran to the window to see if the tree was decorated.  And the lollipops were that much better because they were unexpected.

A Secret Ode Day follows the same idea: odes are collected and compiled and posted here on a day when you least expect it.  And then you get to see an anonymously written note about how wonderful you or your blog is when you wake up one morning.

People simply don’t tell other people nice things nearly enough. We save our best words to say when the person can’t hear–I’m not just talking about after the person is gone, but how we tell good stories about others or think kind thoughts about another person, and they never know. Therefore, here is a chance to anonymously let a fellow blogger in the community hear how much their words and actions mean to you.

Click over and read how to participate if you haven’t done this before.  And then get writing.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

I collected up 21 NIAW posts as of Thursday night, and I wanted to highlight all 21 here in case you missed them, pulling in a brief quote from each one.  Please read, comment, and social media the hell out of these posts to get the word out there.

  1. An Unwanted Path: “When you’re coughing up $500 a month, or $3k for one cycle, it’s impossible for it not to get in your face. It’s such a gamble, and I am not the gambling type.”
  2. Inconceivable!: “Infertility always involves a certain amount of stripping down for those diagnosed.  I hope for a day though where public understanding of infertility is so normal that there is no more shame.”
  3. One Step at a Time: “And I think that’s what is also cool about blogging – we can inspire each other. If I can get through years of infertility and come out the other end with a beautiful baby like Nicky – well, then, there’s hope.”
  4. My Cheap Version of Therapy: “1 in 8. That is how many couples will struggle with infertility. For every person I share my story with, I bring a voice to this “silent” disease, and I feel a little bit stronger and heal a little bit more.”
  5. From IF to When: “Instead, three months later, I sobbed in a doctor’s office as I heard the word ‘infertile’ for the very first time. I was 23 years old.”
  6. Searching for Our Silver Lining: “Through writing about all the failed treatments, our miscarriages, the uncertainty and the myriad of emotions, Grey and I both have been able to not only heal, but also find the strength to continue on our quest to expand our family.”
  7. Bereaved and Blessed: “You are not a real mom until you have two kids. Who says that? Especially to a person who is struggling to have another child! Sadly I know someone who did and they said it to me.”
  8. Shutterbug Wife: “I heard stories from women that had miscarried. Ones that have been trying for 5+ years. One woman went through TEN IUI’s with no success. Women that have their miracle baby but never forgot the pain of infertility.”
  9. Not When, But IF: “These activities normalized my experience, they let me know I was most certainly not alone in my feelings of pain and powerlessness.”
  10. Battlefish: “Just because I have my little one, it doesn’t mean I am not infertile any more, nor that I don’t think about it, often. In fact, I am still very much aware of my infertility, especially when I think about wanting another child.”
  11. The Adventures of an Infertile Myrtle: “My husband, J and I are embarking upon our seventh year as a couple with infertility.”
  12. Beyond the Parentheses: “Infertility has so many tunnels leading off the initial shit-pit.”
  13. The Loveliest Way: “I cried alone often in those early days, dreading each month’s cycle that would remind me that I couldn’t do such a natural human thing, heartbroken over the baby I couldn’t have.”
  14. Mommyhood After Fertility Frustration: “Now it’s my turn to help those who are still struggling. And more importantly to let them know they are not alone. By doing all of this I’m also doing my part to educate the general public.”
  15. Brownies and Onion Dip: “I might not currently be trying to conceive, but I still struggle with pregnancy announcements from fertile myrtles, even though I’m happy for them.”
  16. Silent Sorority: “It’s easy to become desensitized to causes, to no longer see the badges, banners, ribbons, stickers and Facebook covers. After a while they all blur together.”
  17. The Great Big IF: “I can think of very few things in this world more isolating than being infertile in a fertile world. It’s an incredibly lonely place to be.”
  18. From Wine to Whine: “When you are in your lower 30′s you just kind of assume you can get pregnant. You both seem healthy and I had cycles that could have been in a textbook (seriously that is what the RE said to us). But then life is unfair.”
  19. Our Misconception: “By breaking the silence we have found support through the IF community, comfort by learning of others who share similar situations, and strength by reading success stories of those that have kicked infertility’s butt.”
  20. Stupid Stork: “Whether or not I wake up in the mood for it, infertility is a part of my life Every. Single. Day.  Even at my most distracted, Hope and Sadness will both wriggle their way into my mind if only for a fleeting second.”
  21. Wonderfully Ordinary: “One of the things that I wish had been different for me in my infertility journey was support.  I wish I had reached out for support when we were in the thick of it.”
  22. Are You Kidding Me?: “If you have a hard time making a child, the last thing anyone should do is make you feel badly about feeding that child if you have the good fortune to get it here.”

The roundup to the Roundup: The kids won’t play my reindeer games.  Secret Ode Days are coming!  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 19th and April 26th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 Jenny { 04.26.13 at 10:42 am }
2 Dora { 04.26.13 at 12:32 pm }

Not for next week’s Roundup, but here’s my NIAW post that I forgot to comment with on your post for them. (Ugh, sorry for the sentence structure.)

3 a { 04.26.13 at 12:33 pm }

Kids – they always think THEY’RE hilarious, but parents are not funny at all…

4 Stupid Stork { 04.26.13 at 4:43 pm }

Yay for lots of NIAW posts!

I have never heard of secret ode day.. what an AMAZING idea. I’m gonna ode the hell out of some people.

5 Keiko { 04.26.13 at 5:56 pm }

Totally missed the NIAW call for posts here. Bummer. Pimpin’ out a couple of posts this week:

My NIAW post: http://theinfertilityvoice.com/2013/04/join-the-movement-for-niaw/

Looking back at my What IF video, 3 years later: http://theinfertilityvoice.com/2013/04/what-if-three-years-later/

Kathy’s new Secondary Infertility stories series: http://bereavedandblessed.com/2013/04/secondary-infertility-stories-just-one-more

A really lovely, thoughtful post on gifts for bereaved mothers for Mothers Day: http://stillstandingmag.com/2013/04/1-gift-ideas-for-a-bereaved-mom-on-mothers-day/

And finally, a guest blog by Harvard Vanguard Fertility Center over at RESOLVE New England about how to support loved ones dealing with infertility: http://www.resolvenewengland.org/2013/04/how-to-support-a-friend-or-family-member-with-infertility

6 Frozen OJ { 04.27.13 at 2:44 am }

Secret Ode Day sounds so neat! I love that it’s ongoing. I will have to bookmark the post with the form so whenever I am loving a particular blog I can submit one.

7 Cherish { 04.27.13 at 9:15 am }

Secret Ode Day sounds way cool. Thank you for linking up to my post, and reminding me to comment, comment, comment! I forget how I feel like more of a community when I don’t just read a post that hits my heart and sit there pondering for a moment, but share a comment in response.

8 loribeth { 04.28.13 at 8:54 pm }

Nicole at Real Life & Hereafter on NIAW: http://nicoleciomek.com/?p=1119

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