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The Drinks are On Me

Ask and ye shall receive. A few people requested a Virtual Lushary, and I wholeheartedly agree. It has been a long time since we’ve caught up.

So pull up a seat at the virtual bar and fill us in on what has happened in your life recently.  And if this is your first time at the bar, introduce yourself.  We promise not to haze you.

It has been awhile since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog — gasp! — you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.


1 Bionic { 02.24.13 at 7:38 am }

It is terribly early, but as I’m not actively ttc or pregnant or breastfeeding, Bloody Mary, please. I brought my homemade spicy pickled okra for a garnish. Try one and see if they don’t blow your mind. Not slimy, either.

I’m here early because I’m fretting a little about getting back in the stirrups for an FET in a couple of months. Just had my triumphant return to the RE, and am feeling less triumphant than I’d hoped. It’s nice to be here, where I know I don’t have to explain how I can be so relieved that the treatment plan is straightforward and fairly likely to ultimately work, while at the same time feeling scared and angry that I need a treatment plan at all.


2 vablondie { 02.24.13 at 8:13 am }

Since I am writing this in the morning, why not a mimosa. I could use a little happy.

Child has been up since 330 AM, so we are all sleep deprived. I think he is sick, so we are going to the urgent care later. Fun times. Oh, and I should probably mention that AF is here, and I am coming down with a cold.

I am in the process of losing weight to start trying for a second child. I am a little frustrated because things are going slower than I want. But I am also impatient, so my perspective may be skewed. Anyway, things are in a holding pattern until I get it together.

3 Mina { 02.24.13 at 8:22 am }

Yay for Lushary!!!
I’ll have a martini, please. *glugglug*
Sooo, how arrrrrr’ ya? I am just grand. A bit out of time, I could use an extra two hours each day, 24 seem to just not suffice. Otherwise, I am so perfectly content with my life, I am rolling my own eyes when hearing it. Being lucky and happy sounds so self-righteous and smug, isn’t it? I know! Obnoxious. I have just finished reading Rod Stewart’s autobiography and he makes being lucky and happy sound much better than I can. I read Loribeth’s review of it and thought I might give it a go, and I am so glad I did. The main reason I am glad is because it left me with a very pleasant feeling of feeling good and unappologetic about my being lucky and happy. Do you know the guilt one feels for being so darn lucky when people who should so be equally happy and lucky are not? That sometimes spoils the happiness right there, and it is a shame, because happiness is a temporary event. Repeatable, but temporary. So yes, all that, if Rod can have it all, and feel good about himself, maybe I can too. 🙂
Here is to your coming bucketloads of obnoxiousness, everyone! And the next round of drinks is on me, dear. (I’ve always wanted to say that :-))

4 Bionic { 02.24.13 at 8:27 am }

Seems like my link above didn’t work, so for the record, fellow lushes may visit me at http://bionicmamas.com/

5 Finding My New Normal { 02.24.13 at 8:46 am }

It’s after noon on a Sunday where I live so I’ll have a large glass of wine please. This morning while I was feeding my daughter her bottle she decided to projectile vomit it back on me. It was out her nose and her mouth and it scared the crap out of me (new mother over here). She got this awful look on her face and I started crying. I was sure she was going to choke or stop breathing. I frantically yelled to my husband (who was still in bed) to come out and help me. After I handed her off to Daddy and rinsed off I realized that she was just fine and I was the only one still traumatized by the whole thing. How on earth will I manage when she gets her first serious illness or injury when I can’t even handle a bit of milky vomit? Sigh.

6 Elizabeth { 02.24.13 at 9:22 am }

The Lushary was my entre into this community – seems so long go but really the blink of an eye. I’ll have a mimosa since it’s morning, and raise a toast to all the lovely and powerful souls here. I’m feeling slightly melancholy as DH is away for 16 days, and I’m solo parenting. I love my new job though wondering what will become of my unfinished dissertation. Life is good albeit.

7 LC { 02.24.13 at 9:29 am }

A nice hard cider sounds lovely… even if it is 9:30AM here. We’re dealing with The Twos and the fact that a birthday party yesterday brought home in a big way how speech delayed our daughter seems. I know kids develop at their own speed, blah, blah… including the lovely “once she starts talking, you’ll wonder why you ever wanted this”. But it’s hard to be blase about it when you realize she has the same speech patterns as a baby 6 months younger than her and that the little boy 2 months older can clearly say things like “my cup” and you’re still trying to get her to say “cup” consistently let alone distinguish between her cup and my cup.

8 Songs and Sonnets { 02.24.13 at 9:44 am }

I’m new here – nice to meet you all! I’m back in the stirrups hoping to finally have my second IUI this week. My last cycle was cancelled, and my first cycle resulted in a miscarriage, which I’m still grieving. It’s all such an emotional rollercoaster.

It’s afternoon here in the UK, but as I’m TTC I’ll have a non-alcoholic beer. Thanks!

9 Sian { 02.24.13 at 9:56 am }

I would love to join in so will have anon alcoholic strawberry daquiri. I would love to add some rum but that will have to wait until November. I have my viability scan on Tuesday after my first cycle of ICSI. I got my first ever positive hpt two weeks ago (retested today and still positive). I have been married 13 years and we have been together 18 years so have waitied a long time to get where we are. I am nervous and excited for the scan on Tuesday, I just pray we see that little hear beating.

10 Gypsy Mama { 02.24.13 at 10:11 am }

This is my first time at the Virtual Lushary and it is lovely to meet all of you. I will have a glass of Cabernet, but it has to be Chilean because my husband is from Chile and he thinks it is treason to drink wine from anywhere else!

I am preparing for IVF #2 and I am really emotional about it. I am only 27 and we are dealing with severe male factor. I assumed that since I am young and we are using ICSI, we are great candidates for IVF. I was prepared for the first try not to work, but I thought surely we would have some frozen embryos to try again. Our first IVF was a disaster. We tranferred 4 on day 3 and none took. 1 embryo was decent quality with 20% fragmentation, and the rest of the embryos were very highly fragmented and/or slow growing.

We do our IVF in Cancun, Mexico because it is much more affordable and no wait list. We are still going to Cancun for IVF #2 but we are switching clinics. I am really hoping for better results for IVF #2, because I don’t want to try IVF again if this turns out bad.

You see, international adoption was our first choice. We even completed a homestudy, criminal record checks etc. before we started to hear some disturbing stories about unethical adoptions from the country we were about to send our dossier to. So we took a step back from adoption and decided to give IVF a try.

I’m sad when I see other women who did their IVF at the same time as me, and now they have big pregnant bellies. I also see women who started the adoption process after me, and now they are getting ready to book their flights to bring their kids home. Sometimes I feel like I am just spinning my wheels.

So that is the (long) summary of what is going on with me. I’m going to Cancun to try IVF again in 3 weeks…

11 Lori Lavender Luz { 02.24.13 at 10:22 am }

I’ll have a mojito, Bartender. In the middle of a blizzard and I have a houseful of boys because my son is having a birthday and it makes me all verklempt to think how lucky I am, even if I can’t walk through my house at the moment without getting hit by a hail of Nerf bullets.

Excited for my book to come out in 20 days, and to speak at the Parenthood For Me Gala in just a couple of weeks.

12 Sexy Sadie { 02.24.13 at 10:44 am }

Hello Bartender. This is my first time here. I’ll have a Dark and Stormy because not only are they delicious, but also I couldn’t think of two better adjectives to describe my life right now. I suppose I could add infertile and separated to the list, but dark and stormy feels more poetic.

If you want the background, check out my old blog. http://www.futurefords.wordpress.com

If you want the current haps, then check out my new blog. http://www.subfertileslut.wordpress.com

Two totally different worlds. Two totally different girls. I am attempting to remain anonymous in my new blog, but mostly just from my ex-husband. Hence the silly pseudonym. The last thing I want is everything I say to be used against me in a court of law.

Bartender, can I have another?

13 marwil { 02.24.13 at 10:52 am }

I could use a drink or two. So a Bloody Mary please. It’s already afternoon here in the UK. Thanks for hosting, Mel.

I just had a hot shower after a badminton session with a friend. It was ages since I played but it was good fun. I’m on a weight-loss-mission and trying to keep at it.

I’m struggling with a decision over here… namely to move on to donor eggs or not if doing another IVF. After 4 fresh cycles and one FET (resulting in one pregnancy and sadly stillbirth) you would think it wouldn’t be such a hard choice. But IT IS. So yeah, if anyone reading this has a similar story, or are in the decision-making stage of using donor gametes or not, please let me know. I’ll hang around, checking back on the comments.


14 loribeth { 02.24.13 at 11:35 am }

Since it is before noon where I am, I will start with a mimosa, please. : ) So glad the Lushary is here to help chase away the February blahs. :p Like Elizabeth, above, my first tentative steps into blogging & the ALI commuity were through the Lushary, even before I set up my own blog. So it holds a fond spot in my heart & I am always happy to see it open. : )

It has been an up & down month for me… February has always been my least favourite month (cold, grey & dreary, for the most part), and Feb. 8th is the LMP date for my one & only unsuccessful pregnancy. I recently learned (at a meeting in front of about 25 people) that a coworker who was about 7 months along lost her baby & it brought a whole host of memories crashing back. 🙁 There have also been a bunch of changes at work recently (some of them to cover her impending maternity leave — now up in the air, depending on how long she thinks she’ll be off work… a big priority for her right now, I’m sure… :p). My mantra these days is “three more years… three more years…” — as in three more years until I turn 55 & am eligible for early retirement. ; ) Since I don’t have children to feed, clothe & educate, I am keeping my fingers crossed that it’s do-able and that my bank account holds up. There have to be SOME perks to not having children, right??

Right now, I am just happy to join you all at the Lushary. Shall we all hang around & watch the Oscars together tonight?? I am actually taking tomorrow off — primarily so I can sleep in after staying up to the bitter end. (Whose idea was it to have the Oscars on Sunday night anyway??) Shhh, don’t tell my boss. ; )

And @Mina, glad you liked the book. : )

15 Jo { 02.24.13 at 11:37 am }

I need something a little stronger, friend. How about a shot? A WooWoo will do the trick! I am stagnant on the TTC front although (TMI here) we DID do the deed last night, and I am pretty sure I am ovulating. (After 10+ years of TTC, you can’t turn off the body-awareness). I do not have the slightest hope that anything will come from it, so the plan remains to do our final IVF cycle this summer. We continue to dance around the topic of what to do if that doesn’t work — we don’t really agree on our options right now, but that could change.

My biggest stressor right now is work (hence the shot!). 27 pre-teen girls + 1 hormonal teacher make for some interesting days, I tell ya!

16 Jen { 02.24.13 at 12:00 pm }

We are merrily cruising along as a family of four with all sorts of happy adventures. But although my head says it would be madness to try for a third child… I recently found myself in tears over a baby sleeping bag.

I do know how incredibly blessed we are. I know how much it would be risking to re-enter the whole PCOS and clomid and temperature taking mess that made me so miserable. So worth it if it works, soul destroying of it doesn’t.

I do not know what we will decide. But in the meantime, a raspberry bellini please!

17 Chickenpig { 02.24.13 at 12:14 pm }

It is only noon here, but mimosas sound lovely. I second the idea of a virtual Oscar party 🙂 I would be happy to transition from mimosas into bloody marys and onto evening cocktails. There is nothing but rain, and snow here and nothing to do and nowhere to go. Monday is another ho hum day. Might as well enjoy a little glitz, glamor, and drama.

18 Meredith { 02.24.13 at 12:19 pm }

I am a frequent lurker with no blog, but would love some advise, so please feel free to email any insight mmw0510@gmail.com. After several years of treatments (PCOS & endo) we decided to move on to adoption. There is a strong breast cancer gene in my family, that I have yet to be tested for and I was no longer willing to continue all the hormones that will likely further my cancer risk. We were recently matched with a birth mother and after the excitement wore off, I started seeing all of these red flags. Lack of communication, missed dr’s appt, far-fetched stories, incongruent stories from what is being posted on FB (yes, I stalked her!), etc. There is much more the the story that I doesn’t seem appropriate for the comments section. We are going through an agency and they seem to think I am borrowing trouble and have lectured me on several occasions. Is this just a side effect from all of my previous disappointments or am I right to question? Please help. My husband thinks I am crazy too.

19 Kristin { 02.24.13 at 1:05 pm }

Hey y’all. Huge thanks to the people who requested a lushary (bwahahaha, auto-correct just tried to make that lush army). I think I really needed one. Just send me a nice bottle of Riesling and I’ll be good.

There is so much going on that I almost don’t know where to start. My husband is in the final stages of preparing for gastric bypass surgery. I’m thrilled it’s going to happen but, given our bad luck with medical odds, I’m really worried that he will be in the small subset whose diabetes is not cured by the surgery.

My middle son developed this dry, hacking cough on Friday and is sick. He really can’t afford to miss any more school…ugh.

Gage’s cast is finally off…yay!

My oldest just turned 16…how the hell did that happen?

20 A Crack In Everything { 02.24.13 at 1:11 pm }

Hi, everyone. Newbie here. After staying up literally all night (*&%# insomnia) and then catching a little sleep after dawn, I raise my “morning” mug of coffee to you all, the bloggers who kept me company through the dark hours.

I just miscarried at 12 weeks, after a year of IF treatments (injectable IUI cycles, then natural-cycle IVF) as a single woman. Before that I TTC with my partner of 12 years, who has since left my life in a sad and unexpected way. Before that was all the testing, which determined that I have very high FSH, low AMH, low odds, blah blah blah.

Getting pregnant was an utter shock and delight; it felt like a miracle. I’m so afraid that this was my one chance and now it’s gone. On the other hand, the reality of pregnancy felt so good (no doubts about this being the right path) that I just have to try again.

It’s funny – when I first climbed onto this merry-go-round, I figured that I’d try a couple of IUIs to say that I had, then give up and maybe try to adopt from foster care down the road. Now I’m considering full-blown IVF with PGD, although I’m a poor responder and, dear God, the freaking COST! I’m also considering embryo adoption as well as foster-to-adopt.

It DOES help to know that I’m not alone. Thanks and best wishes to you all.

21 Mrs. Gamgee { 02.24.13 at 1:45 pm }

OOOoooh, the Lushary! Hooray!

It’s a little early in the day yet for some serious drinking, but a mimosa would be excellent right now. After driving for 12+ hours yesterday, I’m pooped and the wee-lings are wrangy. The last few weeks were stressful (GG’s illness, passing, and memorial service), and I really just need some time to breathe and get back to a normal routine.

22 Siochana { 02.24.13 at 1:49 pm }

Love the idea of a lushary (although I am rarely at a bar IRL. But I really like the idea of one online! it’s happy hour all the time!!) I’ll have an Irish coffee. Sounds about right for 11:30 am.

I am an enthusiastic lurker in the ALI community. I have a few blogs I check often, and use Melissa’s site as a jumping off point to check out many more, depending where chance takes me. I find all the stories so incredibly interesting. I am still shy about leaving comments because I don’t really know where I “fit” right now. Hubby and I started TTC in the fall of 2011. In the summer of 2012 after no dice we started seeking medical opinions. January of this year brought the news that we have male factor infertility. I have only had one blood test done with normal results, so hopefully I am issue free….although there is no way to be sure right now. The doctor told us that IVF is probably the only way we will ever conceive and made a referral to the fertility clinic. Now we wait for a consultation appointment (website says 2-3 months: which could be as early as next month or far longer) and ponder what the future holds. IVF in the next year seems likely, so that’s what we’re planning on, but there are so many unknowns and no way to have anything like a timeline at present. I’m trying to learn all I can and just process that whole thing somehow. So I really read anything and everything because how do I know? we might end up in a similar place….

I will definitely check out some of your blogs! mine is torthuiljourney.blogspot.com and it is mostly a lot of rambling right now….But it’s been helpful rambling, to me anyway!

23 Mim { 02.24.13 at 2:30 pm }

What better day to drink than Purim! I’d gladly take a Moscato but I’m on call, and they frown upon us drinking at the hospital. So I am very much not in costume, and I’m listening to the megillah online. But I have brought virtual hamentaschen (triangular cookies) for everyone — pick your favorite flavor :o)

We’re gearing up for our fifth DE-IVF with a GS (how’s that for acronyms?) in May. It’ll be our third donor and I hope that’s the charm; she has two children of her own so proven fertility. Good luck to everyone cycling right now!

24 Tiara { 02.24.13 at 3:46 pm }

Oh boy do I need a drink! I’ll take whatever you’ve got & make a double!

Dealing with a challenging almost 2 year old who’s mood swings are as crazy as mine were while on meds for IUI or while pregnant!! Plus being sick with a cold is no fun but even less so as a single mom!! When I saw your post, it reminded me of a t-shirt I was tempted to buy for my daughter that said, “my mommy drinks because I cry” made me laugh!!

25 amy { 02.24.13 at 3:48 pm }

Well, we just had our first failed IVf a few weeks ago and now I a trying to lose weight before heading to a FET. I have lost 19 lbs so far, but I would like to lose another 15!

26 Stinky { 02.24.13 at 4:14 pm }

*steals one of Mim’s cookies, to dunk in my Coffee with Baileys and Whiskey* since its all virtual, lets push the boat out.

Its Monday morning here (all the more reason to drink!) and I am having a slow morning getting ready to go to work. Things are extremely quiet on the work front right now, and its a push to do a full half-day. Sounds ideal – lots of time for enjoying the sun and other creative pursuits (except I’m never very motivated and end up wasting my time reading or sleeping!). Just entered last trimester for the long awaited 1st baby (after 5 years of trying, losing, trying, usual etc) and I’m very excited, but can’t help feeling part of my life is over/ irrevocably changed – not in a complaining ‘poor me’ way AT ALL, just in a wistful, ‘what do I have left to do in the next 2 months that I can’t do for the next 5 years?’/’have I really made the most of everything before it all changes?’

All the best to those doing treatments and hugs to those who have just had unsuccessful treatments

27 Katherine A { 02.24.13 at 4:17 pm }

I’ll take an auburn lager or stout microbrew, please.

I have an HSG this week. The first one I had was inconclusive, and I had my first panic attack in nearly two years in the process. I should not have ignored the emotional component of the thing, but I’ll be more prepared this time. Thank heavens for a really wonderful doctor that was very, very kind, compassionate, and patient about the whole thing.

28 Mali { 02.24.13 at 4:32 pm }

Well, it’s Monday morning, but I’ve been off alcohol for a week now, and it’s 5 pm somewhere, so how about a glass of champagne to celebrate recovery. Been very poorly for the last week , but after a couple days on steroids, I am a complete convert, and can see what all the fuss is about! Now I have no excuse for slacking off.

29 persnickety { 02.24.13 at 5:02 pm }

A glass of sparkling sav blanc for me I think.

In a bit of a holding pattern at the moment, waiting for AF to appear after a d&c 4 weeks ago. Body keeps teasing me- here it is, no it isn’t. After 4 weeks of an SCH while pregnant, I just want to know that 3 weeks out of 4 I don’t have to worry about whether or not I am going to have to deal with messy undies.
After 3 unsuccessful rounds of IVF we are being wound back to TSI with injectables (since the only way I seem to get pregnant is through physical activities- no lab techs involved).

30 StacieT { 02.24.13 at 5:23 pm }

Yea! The lushary is back! I’m not an alchohol drinker–never have been if you can believe that, so I’d like to order a nice, stiff Pepsi, please.

Things around here are as crazy as usual, but one of my boys may actually be the one thing that does drive me to drink. Ugh. If you have any advice on how to get through to a very strong willed and highly stubborn 5 year old, I’d love it. And as much as I don’t need any more crazy in my life, I can’t quite drop the dream of adding another to the brood. So, I stupidly wait for that miracle each month when I know that chances are slim to none that it will happen without the same medical intervention it took to get my boys. Sigh.

31 lifeintheshwa { 02.24.13 at 7:41 pm }

Well, someone else will have to have a real drink for me as I’m knocked up. I haven’t had a coffee or tea since September which somewhat breaks my heart every time I smell it. Turns out I’m one of those jerks who get pregnant while waiting for IVF after 3.5 years of trying to have a second child. This is pregnancy #6 – we have an awesome 4.5 year old son, and 4 miscarriages later I’ve made it to 23.5 weeks. Problem being it’s been a nightmare of a pregnancy with SCHx2 and 7 weeks of corresponding bredrest (at the same time of year as the last pregnancy, over Christmas, that ended in a miscarriage at 15 weeks), a positive IPS screen, and now club feet, amniotic bands, low amniotic fluid and lord knows what else wrong with this wee girl. Apparently all these things together could be bad news. I’d rather everything look healthy but frankly so long as it’s survivable I’m ok with it all. Get to go to a leading hospital on Wednesday (it’s been a long 2WW for that one!) to see how ill she is or isn’t and it’s making me so worried. I haven’t had a blog for a few years, but thanks for letting me drop by anyway.

32 a { 02.24.13 at 8:58 pm }

Hi there, bartender! I’d like a big old glass of cabernet. Not much going on in my neck of the woods – just a couple snow days and a little bit of cabin fever. Happy Purim… (or whatever the appropriate good wishes would be. 🙂 )

33 Sara { 02.24.13 at 9:38 pm }

I would love a glass of Reisling. I am a lurker, I follow many blogs and have recently started commenting but not sure if I am ready to start my own blog. If I do start my own blog I have a few ideas for my first few posts. We have had 2 failed IVF’s and we are currently making the move to a new clinic for IVF #3. Hysteroscopy is scheduled for the middle of March all cycle day three blood work is complete, again. Waiting for the next cycle is hard! I have reserved a spot for an end of April cycle which seems like a long time away but I know it will go by fast. Even during this “break” I worry and question every decision that my husband and I have made on out journey to become parents.

34 Kris { 02.24.13 at 10:34 pm }

I’m going for a glass of wine. I have been trying to reconcile myself with the fact that my new guy may not want kids at all, and yet, I am not sure I am done. He hasn’t said no, but he wants to wait about 5 years, which puts me at 39, which with my history of miscarrying most of my pregnancies, does not leave me feeling hopeful. Tonight we got in a huge argument, and it came out that he does not trust me. His ex cheated on him, and apparently he has decided that he can never trust again. I have never been on the receiving end of mistrust, and it is horrifying, and I feel like my heart is breaking. I haven’t done anything wrong, and yet, he makes me feel as if I have, simply by not trusting me. Maybe he isn’t the one, and I may have to deal with that as well. I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I go to England to meet his parents in 22 days, with a heavy heart now, as I don’t know what is going to happen with our relationship.

35 Queenie { 02.24.13 at 10:54 pm }

The Lushary is BACK! I always like seeing where everyone is at. I think I’ll take a mojito, too, with crushed ice.

Where does time go? I used to sit and drink in the Lushary when I was TTC#1, and now I am about to wean baby #2. She turns a year old in a little over a week, and isn’t terribly interested in nursing any more, except at night. It makes me sad to think about weaning her, to think that this stage is finished. I hate endings. So, I am a bit weepy.

We also think that our family is probably complete. We are both in our 40’s now, and we have two healthy children, and we both kind of feel like we’d be tempting fate to try for another. Plus, we are old. And tired. And yet. . .it’s really hard to say “we’re done.” My mother asked me the other day, and I just couldn’t bring myself to say “no more.”

36 Mrs Thompson { 02.25.13 at 12:15 am }

I’ll have a beer.

As in, “there’s a tear in my beer”. 4th IVF failed this last month and 7 years of infertility has officially kicked my ass. I’m happy to join in on the lushary and I’ll be the one crying in the corner.

Here’s to not losing hope that our family of two will one day become a family of three…


37 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 02.25.13 at 12:34 am }

Due to my rx I am forbidden from drinking alcohol indefinitely, so I’ll be glad to partake virtually — champagne, please!

Still trying to recover from the onset of RA. Hopefully by the next Lushary I’ll have my symptoms under control and be back at work. Until then, working on some projects and enjoying my little ones.

38 KeAnne { 02.25.13 at 10:05 am }

I’ll take a glass of wine, please. Lots going on. At work, there are layoffs looming (my group is safe), so morale is low, high-profile projects are up. At home, we’re dealing with the fact that our little boy likely has some special needs and are navigating the road to OT and speech. We’re also dancing around whether we need to close the door finally on our hope of being able to try to have a second child.

Maybe you should just give me the bottle :-/

39 Pepper { 02.25.13 at 11:28 am }

Late to the open bar (and my first time) but I’ll take whatever is strongest! I am feeling horribly guilty because I am so jealous of my 5 very pregnant friends, all second children with first babes the same age as my daughter. I love them all and I am honestly happy for them as they are loving and lovely parents. But I can never join their ranks as I can never get pregnant again. And as much as I know their lives have nothing to do with mine in this respect, I still can’t help the feelings and sometimes I just cry.. and cry, like this morning (PMS may be involved here, too). I want to adopt another child but our lives are in upheaval now (moving, etc) and my husband does not want to discuss it. I do understand this, but I am feeling very lost and alone. And then I feel more guilty because, how dare I? I have a beautiful, healthy, perfect daughter and a pretty awesome life. Just overwhelmed once in a while with the what ifs. Thanks for opening up the lushary so I could get this out. 🙂

40 Jenny { 02.25.13 at 11:42 am }

This is my first time at the lushary. It’s great to “meet” so many new people here. 🙂

Since this is just virtual alcohol, I think it should be ok for me to have a glass of red wine, even if I’m 24 weeks pregnant. Yes?

I started blogging as a single woman trying to conceive on her own. I had four failed IUIs with donor sperm and likely would have moved on to IVF on my own, but the universe nixed that plan and gave me a husband and stepson instead. After over a year of trying (and failing) to conceive naturally, my husband and I sought the assistance of an RE. Because of my age (39) and low AFC and AMH, the RE wanted us to skip IUIs and head straight to IVF. She basically told us we couldn’t afford to waste time because of my old, shriveling ovaries. We were scheduled to start stimming in November of last year. Because of financial restrictions, it was going to be our one and only try at IVF. But while we waited for our turn to come up at the clinic, my RE gave us the ok to continue trying on our own with Femara and a trigger shot. Miraculously, I found out I was pregnant in our last cycle before moving on to IVF. Our baby boy is due in June.

It’s been a long, strange road to get to this point and I still can’t really believe this is my life. I have the normal fears and worries of a pregnant IFer, of course, but I also feel so incredibly lucky. I had truly lost hope that this would ever happen for me.

41 Blanche { 02.25.13 at 12:29 pm }

I picked up some locally made(ish) hard cider at the grocery this AM so I’ll take one of those, please. Life is really pretty good – we sold our house in record time last summer, survived living with the in-laws while the bank took it’s sweet time approving all the paperwork for the purchase of our new house, and have mostly settled into the new house now after 5 months.

LO is very very good at being 2.5 & is enjoying her 3 morning/week preschool. She is about 99% potty trained, after several scattered days of false starts it finally clicked. We’ve been able to make some friends her age in the neighborhood so I don’t feel quite as isolated as I had feared when DH and I first started discussing moving about this time last year.

I’m not ready to think that our family is complete at 3, but if we are meant to become 4 it will be without any intervention as DH is very resistant to even discuss returning to the RE & fertility treatments. In the meantime, we’re not preventing the possibility, unless you call relying on IF a form of BC. LOL.

42 Shana { 02.25.13 at 12:35 pm }

Baileys and coffee for me, please! The 4-year old is sick again, which means it’s just a matter of time before the 1-year old and I are also sick. Mostly just truckin’ along, though – can’t complain. Been doing a lot of reseach on more effective parenting skills so I can be more mindful and calm, particularly with the 4-year old. I tend to be very reactive, so practicing being mindful is a challenging shift for me. I can already see a bit of difference in his behavior though, so I think it is worthwhile.

43 It Is What It Is { 02.25.13 at 12:38 pm }

I am so late to the party but cannot seem to post from the iPad or my phone and it is rare that I have time to power up my laptop. At any rate and even though it is a Monday morning and it’s early, I think I’d like a Kir Royale.

Things with me are an, um, tangled web of experiences and emotions. On the one (and bigger hand), I am blessed and abundantly grateful for the precious newborn asleep in his swing (well, not any longer) in the other room. On the other hand, I am needing to redefine myself now that IF and family building are no longer a focus. Everything feels fragile…especially my relationships and I am struggling to gain a foothold and secure sense of what I want and need (although I am aware that much is sorely lacking). Feeling more isolated than ever. Being a new mom again at 46 is much harder than at 40.

Miss these times of sidling up to the bar among friends.

44 nonsequiturchica { 02.25.13 at 1:39 pm }

Well I shouldn’t be drinking because I just started my injections for IVF #1, but since this is virtual, I’ll take a large mojito. Mmmm.

So far the injections are going okay but I don’t think that my husband truly understands what I’m about to do to my body. I mean, he saw all of the medication, but he is still making stupid jokes. Hopefully he cuts it out before my hormones start raging too much.

I’m also trying my best not to think about the cycle. I of course want it to work, but am worried about getting too hopeful, especially b/c we have no idea how/if the drugs will work. Details like will I have any follicles, will they be big enough at retrieval, will any of them fertilize, will the supplements that my husband and I have been taking work, etc. are all swimming around in my brain.

A real glass of wine would be great to quiet some of these thoughts….too bad it is not allowed…..

45 Dora { 02.25.13 at 3:37 pm }

I think I’ll just stick with my pain meds and coffee. 🙁

I’ve been trying to figure out if the epidural injections I got for my back pain in October have worn off already, or if the cold, wet weather is the culprit. But this morning I was thinking about the tentative diagnosis of fibro I got a while ago and realized the spike in pain I’m feeling all over is a fibro flare. The munchkin had a busy social schedule this past weekend. Two Purim parties and a birthday party. By the time I got her to bed last night, I felt like a truck hit me. Now, UGH, work today.

The other thing going on right now is that one of our cats is on borrowed time. He has a tumor in his sinus area. Of course it’s the one my daughter is very close to. More discussions of death with my 3 year old. 🙁 If anyone has any good suggestions for children’s books about about the death of a pet that are also secular, I would so appreciate that. Not going the heaven route, because that’s not what I believe. I figure I’ll discuss heaven with her when she’s old enough to understand about different belief systems.

46 knottedfingers { 02.25.13 at 4:49 pm }

Life is crazy! I’m taking on our public schools which are crap and trying to find alternate schooling for my child who I KNOW is Learning Disabled. However because of her age (7) the schools REFUSE to test! So I’m getting her tested myself privately and if she qualifies she’ll be going to another school 30 minutes away.

I’m worried about tuition, I’m worried about our cars making the drive, I’m worried about my kid. I’m tired of people telling me I’m just being a hysterical woman and that everything is fine.

I know my kid and something isn’t RIGHT!

Yesterday in church I was working in the nursery. It’s one of the bright points in my life. Calypso was our last child and after she died I was told I couldn’t have anymore. So the other two ladies in the nursery with me were struggling with fertility too. However when they found out I had older children I was told I had no right to be upset that I was now infertile. It was like I wasn’t part of ‘their’ club.

I snuggled the little babies in the nursery and went home and broke down.

I’m stressed. I miss my daughter and I’m trying to be the best mom I can to my living children and am getting shit for that too

47 Aramis { 02.25.13 at 5:41 pm }

I’m a bit late to the party, but I’ll just call myself fashionable and order a margarita on the rocks. Don’t skimp on the salt! I need a drink because I’m stressing out over my upcoming FET. I’ve been diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve (DOR) at age 36, and have had two IVFs (first cancelled for non response) only to discover that I have spectacularly crappy eggs. Our transfer was postponed due to rising progesterone, and only one of our embryos made it to day 5 to be frozen. So now I’m stressing over stuff like what if it doesn’t thaw, what if it doesn’t take, what if I never get some decent eggs and never manage to have a baby. I know there’s a million other ways to become a parent but I’m just not ready to go there yet. This was supposed to work, dammit.

48 sarah { 02.25.13 at 6:49 pm }

Fashionably tardy but ready for a mojito! Cheers to all the strong women willing to share their struggles and triumphs here.

I was diagnosed with hypothalamic pituitary disfunction after 9 months of no ovulation and plenty of (futile) “trying.” I’m now on my third cycle of Clomid + timed intercourse after an early miscarriage last go round. Still recovering from that drama but fingers crossed that third time’s the charm. If not, I’m soon to graduate to IUI and all the romance that entails. I’m recklessly blogging the whole thing over at fallopiangroove.blogspot.com.

49 Peg { 02.26.13 at 9:11 am }

My regular Guinness please! Cheers to everyone!

The ebbs and flows of parenting these 5 children with such varying needs continues. We’re a bit worried about the sequestration and budget stuff going on since both of us work for the federal government. My job seems to be trying to keep everyone afloat with fun and hope without being carried down by our grief. 5 year olds are great for keeping me in the present moment. He is truly my blessing. Teenagers sometimes suck…enough said. I get to give a eulogy for my old soccer coach tomorrow…last one I gave was for my sister. Sigh.

I’m thinking about drinking my virtual Guinness before the service to help me get through.

50 JustHeather { 02.26.13 at 2:17 pm }

No clue what I would liketo drink, just give me something that makes me feel as if I’ve gotten enough sleep lately. I’ll whine first and then end on a positive note. 🙂
I’m sleep training my boy again. First attempt with CIO failed miserably and made going to sleep and sleep worse. Now trying again, but I am exhausted and I’m not a napper. My new laptop is on the fritz and I can’t remember my password to our server where I can back everything (pictures) up. I’m starting to panic about having to go back to work in three months (yes, I know I’ve had it good).
The good: my little boy is 6months in a couple of days. omg I am still amazed by him and my life with him. Still working on mine and hubby’s relationship post baby. For the most part life is pretty good for the moment.

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