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430th Friday Blog Roundup

I asked the ChickieNob if she wanted to be my Valentine the other day.  She smiled sweetly and kissed my cheek, telling me that she’d love to be my Valentine.

“Okay,” I said cheerfully, starting to do her hair.  “You know what being my Valentine means, right?”

“You get me chocolate?”

“Nope,” I told her.  “Being my Valentine means that I now get all of your stuffed animals, and I’m not going to treat them very well.  I’ll also be taking any Valentine’s Day candy that you get and choosing all of your meals for the rest of the year.  But thanks for being my Valentine!”

“I don’t want any of that.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but once you agree to be someone’s Valentine, you can’t now say that you’re not their Valentine.  You’re my Valentine.  Your stuffed animals are mine.”

A moment or two of doubtful silence followed.  “You’re kidding, right?”

“Not kidding!  You’re my Valentine!”

The ChickieNob left the room muttering to herself, “I think she’s kidding.”

I want to balance out any mushy feelings about the holiday.  Keep the kid on her toes.

*******

Josh and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  We never really talked about it.  We just sort of didn’t celebrate it the first year we were together, and the tradition continues to this day.  It’s not that I dislike the holiday; I’d be hard-pressed to write a manifesto against it.  But I’m going to be honest: I don’t really understand the point of it.  I love Josh every day of the year, and I hope I show that to him in romantic gestures as well as good old-fashioned cleaning his toilets and folding his laundry for him.  A lot of the gestures associated with Valentine’s Days are things that wouldn’t say “love” in my world.  Though if the man wants to give me a massage next Thursday night, I’ll take it without complaint.

I don’t know if I’ve ever said this here, but I’m against cutting flowers.  I’ll get them for other people if I know they make them happy, but I don’t want people to give them to me.  I’m also not a huge fan of bringing any foliage inside my home (even in a pot), nor do I have any desire to take care of it outside my home.  So… please don’t get me flowers.  There actually is a reason.  I think of cut flowers in the same vein as hunting for sport or catch-and-release fishing; it’s harming something living solely for your pleasure and its loss.  I can totally get behind hunting for food, fishing for keeps, or harvesting plants to consume.  Pictures of flowers = great gift!  Actual flowers = makes me sad.

But I’m a total nut job on the ethics front; I’ll admit that wholeheartedly.

*******

I asked the Wolvog to be my Valentine in front of his sister.  She either did not remember our earlier conversation, or she decided to spread the joy as evidence by her silence.  “Do you want to be my Valentine?”

He snuggled close to me, “I would love to be your Valentine!”

“Fabulous!  That means I get to harvest all your organs!  Your kidneys are mine.”

“No, they’re not.”

“Yes, they are!  Because you’re my Valentine!  I’m going to take your corneas next.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Don’t forget to harvest his heart,” the ChickieNob said, throwing her brother under the bus.  “You know, since it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“That’s a great idea!  Thank you for all your organs and for being my Valentine.”

A period of silence followed.

“Mommy gets all of my stuffed animals,” the ChickieNob offered, as if plush toys are the equivalent of major organs.

“This is so not going to happen.”

*******

Gah!  Fine.  I bought the kids chocolate hearts.  I’m not a total beast.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Yo-Yo Mama has an incredibly moving post this week about finding peace and an answer in a quiet drive into the city for a monitoring appointment.  I sort of don’t want to describe it too much because I want you to have the moment I had when she received her answer.  Gorgeous post.

Still Life with Circles has a post marking her blogoversary.  It is somewhat about how she writes and somewhat about why she writes, and in between are all the reasons she needs her space, why she holds tight to it and all the people who radiate out from that space.

Lastly, The Empty Cookie has a very important public service announcement that everyone who has anything they’ve ever preserved should read (are you listening!).  The hospital made her husband a Father’s Day card with their child’s handprint, and after her daughter died, she had the card framed.  Two years later, she realized the card looked faded, but until she took it down to investigate, she didn’t realize how much it faded due to the type of glass in the frame.  She explains what type of glass you need to use in order to ensure that light doesn’t fade your images.  Please read this if you also have irreplaceable images or keepsakes.

The roundup to the Roundup: So what are you doing for Valentine’s Day since we obviously aren’t celebrating it beyond the kids collecting chocolate.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 1st and 8th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

26 comments

1 Denver Laura { 02.08.13 at 10:12 am }

Hubs asked me if it was ok that I didn’t get flowers this year and I said, “of course.” I do appreciate the gesture but I feel it’s an obligation to keep something alive at work and therefore I end up picking up dried petals for 2 weeks off my desk.

We end the day eating a fine steak dinner at home. I got him a card, he usually gets me one. That’s about it. V-Day is just another day at our house.

2 sushigirl { 02.08.13 at 11:01 am }

I like staying in for dinner on Valetine’s, and cooking something nice. We usually get each other a card, although my husband thinks it’s a bit of a made up celebration!

3 loribeth { 02.08.13 at 11:07 am }

Dh & I don’t do much for Valentine’s Day either. I wouldn’t mind going out for dinner, but he hates crowds & waiting in line at the best of times, so that’s out. :p We usually just trade cards in the morning when we get up.

I love flowers, but I would never want dh to buy them for me for Valentine’s Day. The price is totally ridiculous, particularly when they don’t last very long.

4 Lori Lavender Luz { 02.08.13 at 11:55 am }

I’m going to see what my children do with your “Be My Valentine” approach.

5 Shelby { 02.08.13 at 12:12 pm }

As a couple, my DH and I have not really celebrated Valentine’s Day since college. I don’t think it’s a matter of principle, I think it’s a matter of laziness. Ha! It just doesn’t sound appealing fighting the crowds to go to some restauraunt that’s not worth the wait. (I’m so old) A few weeks after V-Day this year, we will be getting the grandparents to watch the kid while we stay in San Francisco for the weekend. I like that alternative much better. We’ll celebrate our relationship on our timeline.
But on the other hand, my Mom and Great Aunt always spoiled the heck out of me on Valentine’s Day as a kid, so I’m passing that along to my DS. He’ll be doped up on way too much candy and quite honestly, I’m pretty excited about it this year. (I get excited about holidays way too easily) I’ll be volunteering at his preschool for the Valentine’s Day party and am already underway making some ridiculously cute Pinterest-y Valentines for his buddies and teachers. I know I could be doing better things with my time, but I just can’t help myself…

6 JustHeather { 02.08.13 at 12:57 pm }

In Finland, February 14th is Friend-day. And it is a 100% commercial endeavor and something new here. My husband doesn’t subscribe to it at all and I’d like a little something for it. I don’t want anything bought, just a handmade card and/or dinner made together at home. I guess mostly just the same thing we do many days out of the year…

7 a { 02.08.13 at 1:18 pm }

I like cut flowers…probably because I spend enough time dead-heading my plants in the summer. It’s all a cycle, I generally prefer that things not go to seed (because then I have to pick whole plants out of my landscaping), and they look pretty. (They don’t seem to last any longer on the plant, is my point, I guess.)

You should give your kids a therapy fund for Valentine’s day. :) I think I’m supposed to get my husband flowers – I might stop and pick some up. My dad always got us heart shaped boxes of chocolate, but I don’t usually get anything for my daughter because she comes home from school with tons of candy. We don’t need any more!!!

Here’s my pick of the week:

http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/gender-differences-and-why-they-dont-matter-so-much/

8 Pepper { 02.08.13 at 1:19 pm }

We also don’t celebrate V-day, for no particular reason. I’m not a fan. I think it’s annoying and way too pink. I did get my daughter some cool hair bows and stickers. We were married in February so we get to go out for our anniversary and that is so much better than a holiday everyone celebrates on the same day.

9 marwil { 02.08.13 at 1:29 pm }

We don’t usually do anything special for Valentines Day except maybe flowers and/or chocolate but I won’t refuse if there’s a surprise waiting.

This take on the so called Pain Olympics really spoke to me:
http://journeytobabyg.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/on-pain-olympics-and-why-i-dont-think.html

10 Anne { 02.08.13 at 2:21 pm }

I kind of hate the fact the we have to buy a bunch of Valentine’s Day cards for every single kid in the class. It just seems foolish and wasteful to me. I’m down with all the other holidays, but Valentine’s Day just doesn’t make sense for kids to celebrate. And as for adults, I’m not into it either. We usually just have a nice dinner at home. Maybe some flowers for us at the house. But no big presents or anything like that.

11 Mali { 02.08.13 at 6:18 pm }

When I grew up Valentine’s Day was unheard of here in NZ. These days it is pretty crazy, but I think it’s still focused on those in relationships. We’ve never celebrated it – other than one year I cooked him an extra special dinner – but that might be because our wedding anniversary is this week too, and we always celebrate that.

I laughed out loud at the “keeping the kid on her toes” comment!

12 yo-yo-mama { 02.08.13 at 6:37 pm }

Mel…thanks so much for your kind words about my post! I’m blown away. Thank you for offering this place for us!

On Valentines?!…well, I’ll be 1-2 days post IVF transfer, so I guess champagne will be out of the question. I guess a nice toast with our his/hers crack pipes will have to do. Kidding, of course!

Thanks again!

13 KeAnne { 02.08.13 at 7:00 pm }

We do less and less to celebrate Valentine’s Day each year and we’re OK with that. Jimmy will be on call this year too. Next week is a very busy week & I hope I can make it to D’s day care party. When I was in high school and ridiculously melodramatic, I made heart-shaped cookies w/ black icing for V-Day, dressed in black as well.

14 luna { 02.08.13 at 8:13 pm }

I used to get upset when M brought me flowers on V-day. he now knows I’d prefer just a flower from the garden, which I have no problem cutting if they are plentiful and won’t be missed. it’s really kind of a dumb holiday. though toddler girl and I do make paper hearts and I will make heart shaped pancakes or something. and chocolate.

I am sort of annoyed though that her preschool insists on handmade valentines for all the kids. that’s like 30 cards. it took us 2 wks to make them. my poor girl lost her steam at about 20.

15 luna { 02.08.13 at 8:14 pm }

oh and thanks to lost in translation for the shout out last week! that one was a keeper for me.

16 Kathy { 02.08.13 at 8:33 pm }

I love the way you think and write, the way you tease your children with love, the way you and Josh never really discussed it, but you don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day and that you don’t prefer cut flowers as gifts or to have them in your home. You are so quirky, in the best possible way. I know we don’t feel the same way about everything in our lives, but I still appreciate learning about what makes you, you.

As for Valentine’s Day, Bob and I typically get each other cards and that’s about it. Sometimes he brings me flowers and we have been known to order heart shaped pizzas. This week at my MOPS meeting we did a craft where we took 20 Hershey’s Kisses and wrote on little circle stickers 20 things that we love about a loved one (I chose Bob) and stuck one on the bottom of each kiss and put them in a bag labeled “20 Things I Love About You!” It’s super cheesy but now Bob can take out one or more when he is craving chocolate and/or a compliment after a hard day a work! I would have never come up with or made something like this on my own, but it was fun to do with friends and to surprise Bob with when I got home from my meeting! I didn’t wait until V-Day to give it to him.

17 S.I.F. { 02.08.13 at 8:45 pm }

I am absolutely dying right now! Mean mom! But SO funny!

18 Stinky { 02.08.13 at 10:14 pm }

Valentines Day pretty much goes under the radar here too. Mr Stinky will be off pursuing his own fun, as that does not stop alone for a commercial holiday. I think we used to make cards or do something for each other (make a cake, or a massage, but definitely nothing shopbought), I think I’m lucky if he even remembers what day it is?

I’m exactly the same with cut flowers, although I love millions of plants in pots around the place. Have always said that I would prefer flowers to be able to carry on growing out of the ground, not to be amputated and to live for only a few short days. If someone buys me flowers, I (try and) accept them gracefully (but its not happened in so long, most people -ie Mr Stinky – who are in a flower-buying position in my life know the score by now), and occasionally I will handpick wildflowers if there are a ton and it doesn’t make any difference to their population, but thats like once every 3 years or something?

Funny convos with ChickieNob and Wolvog!

19 St. Elsewhere { 02.08.13 at 11:52 pm }

The Blogosphere cackled with the noise of Pain Olympics posts this week. Here’s one which was honest and not so noticed:

http://journeytobabyg.blogspot.com/2013/02/on-pain-olympics-and-why-i-dont-think.html

I don’t celebrate V-day either. Love is a 24×7, 365 day celebration!

20 Manapan { 02.09.13 at 12:49 pm }

I love how gracious your kids are about being your Valentine. :)

We’re getting a new bed for Valentine’s Day. If it gets delivered on time, that is. And I am usually not a fan of cut flowers either: “Here, I got you a big bundle of plant genitals because I love you.” The only time I ever really appreciated getting flowers was when we were in the hospital after I had Tatoe. When I had to be in my room instead of in the NICU with him, they gave me something to look at that wasn’t the empty bassinette.

21 Battynurse { 02.09.13 at 10:05 pm }

I’m not a fan of valentines day either. I’m usually single and in the past that left me feeling bad in so many ways. It doesn’t bother me as much now but it still feels like a useless holiday to get people to spend money.

22 Tiara { 02.11.13 at 1:08 pm }

I don’t like cut flowers either! But for me it stems (pun intended) from my fear of bees…rationally I fear a bee will come inside along with the flowers…irrationally I fear bees will come after me for possessing the flower that could have provided them the pollen they needed.

23 Jamie { 02.11.13 at 10:47 pm }

Loved the post from Yo-Yo Mama. Beautiful! And I liked how you let the readers take it in for what it was–an unfolding of a moment filled with emotion that touches the heart.

24 lostintranslation { 02.12.13 at 7:28 am }

We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day either, nor Mothers Day or Fathers Day (but that might change a bit now that we have one kid in school…? My mom always refused it, saying it was used too much as a propaganda tool bt the national socialists/nazis). Our wedding anniversary is on the 10th, so we already have a better romantic celebration in February ;)

For the open comment thread, here’s one from “Viva la Vida!”, called “From the Ashes”
http://mrthompsonandme.blogspot.fr/2013/02/from-ashes.html

25 Alicia { 02.12.13 at 10:57 am }

Roundup recommendation: http://waitingforourbambino.blogspot.ca/2013/02/tik-tok-tik-tok-1-1-1.html – it’s a beautiful post about Juanita’s one year anniversary since being on the adoption waiting list.

26 Myndi { 02.16.13 at 1:01 pm }

I’ve always felt obligated to do something on Valentines but never have been particularly excited about it. Occasionally we’ve gone out to a nice dinner, but that was early in our relationship, before kids, when we were still in the honeymoon stage.

This year, things are kind of crazy right now. And we’re kind of broke. So, I got him a card and a bag of Reese’s hearts. He spaced and did nothing. And I honestly didn’t care. It’s a made up commercial holiday anyhow.

As for the kids, they are 2. They aren’t allowed candy and wouldn’t appreciate a card so…I didn’t do anything. Next year will probably be a good time for themed art projects, like making each other simple cards or coloring hearts or something. But this year…just not a big deal around here.

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