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427th Friday Blog Roundup

Inauguration is this weekend, and I wish I could tell you that I was going.  Except I can’t.  Because it is too cold.

I know that makes me sound like twelve kinds of wimpy, and that may be because I AM twelve kinds of wimpy.  But I’m an honest wimp who doesn’t believe in pushing herself too hard, and I don’t do cold.  I don’t stand outside in winter.  I don’t move outside in winter.  I don’t even do things like ski, which takes place outside, near snow.

Now if the President ever wanted to hold his ceremony in a cozy library and serve hot chocolate, I would be all over that.  I would wait in line (not outside, but inside) for tickets to that.  But as is, I’ll watch it on television.  In sweatpants.  With fuzzy socks.  And warm drinks.  Though to get in the Inaugural spirit, I’m hanging a sign on the bathroom door that says Port-o-Potty.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Lavender Luz has an interesting post about viewing open adoption in terms of a grid instead of reducing it to an amount of contact.  Within the grid, every adoption situation has the potential to be met with openness, even when contact is not possible.  It is a totally fascinating way of looking at open adoption.

MoJo Working has a brilliant post about how she reacts when someone tells her that they’ll pray for her when they hear about her infertility.  She asks, “And yet, can anyone seriously look around at our society today and tell me that G-d has been handing out babies only to his faithful? He isn’t fucking Santa Claus. You don’t get a baby because you are good, because you say the right things, or because you pray fervently.”  She gives the reader a lot to chew on in the post.

Always My 3 Boys has a post that is only 18 words long, including the title that runs into the first line.  The simplicity of the thought, the emotion behind the words, punched me in the stomach.

Inconceivable! has a post about Harry Potter, and finding the Snape in herself.  For anyone who has jealously stared at a pregnant woman’s stomach, this post is a must-read, especially in discovering her Snapeness, also deciding how she wants her actions to differ.

Lastly, Still Life with Circles has a gorgeous post about Googling her daughter’s name and finding other lives for Lucias who are still here on earth while her Lucia is gone.  She writes, “There are 13,200,000 results. People all over the world named the same as my dead daughter. She has two twitter accounts, a sex tape, and a Facebook.”  Her search leads her to an artist who emotionally brings her on a road to the child she misses.

The roundup to the Roundup: Watching the Inauguration on television because I don’t like it when my nose hairs freeze.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 11th and January 18th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 Courtney { 01.18.13 at 9:12 am }

The marching band from where I live is playing at the inauguration. They’re going to be super cold. We don’t have true cold weather here in Alabama!

2 Katie { 01.18.13 at 11:09 am }

I admire all of the people who can brave the cold and stand out there all day. I’ll be thinking of them as I watch indoors. 🙂 I would love to attend one day. It’s on my bucket list.

3 Lori Lavender Luz { 01.18.13 at 11:26 am }

Thanks for including my post 🙂

Not to play tit-for-tat (*snicker*) but I just read and loved this one:


4 a { 01.18.13 at 11:56 am }

Eh – it’s going to be 40. Your nose hairs wouldn’t freeze. 🙂 (Speaking from experience, I believe it’s gotta be significantly below freezing for that to happen. Seems like 20 degrees or less is what I remember…)

This one really struck a chord with me:


5 a { 01.18.13 at 11:57 am }

Aaaah! Lori got there before me!

6 Elizabeth { 01.18.13 at 12:38 pm }

This was a fantastic week in my reader:
http://lunardreams.net/baby/?p=4407 Natalie had a beautiful, thoughtful post about how fear has prevented her from doing or finishing things;
Esperanza describes the profound shift in her sense of identity that came with a diagnosis… (something I think many of us have experienced)
http://jjiraffe.wordpress.com/2013/01/15/those-in-glass-houses-will-throw-stones/ Jjiraffe had a fantastic post about blogging and how practice has shifted over time
http://bloodsignsblog.com/2013/01/16/photo-finishing/ Pam wrote a devastatingly beautiful post about photographs, her father, and embodiments of grief.

7 Lisa @ hapahopes { 01.18.13 at 1:00 pm }

I was so moved by this post from Marwil: http://marwil.org/2013/01/17/six-years-without-her/ I felt like I was there with her family, in their pain and their peace.

8 Jendeis { 01.18.13 at 1:14 pm }

You hate the cold, but look at where you went to college and grad school! 🙂

9 Denver Laura { 01.18.13 at 3:08 pm }

Been there, done that. There was snow on the ground and I think it may have gotten up to 30 the inauguration I went to. My feet were frozen to the point where I thought my toes would break if I walked any more that day. Oh yeah, the day ended up with sleeting. The crowds were somewhat polite but everything was overrun. Toilets, trashcans, parking… all a nightmare. When you hang your port-o-potty sign, take out the tp, cut off the water in the sink and leave out some hand sanitizer. It’ll make your tv experience that much more real 😉

10 Cristy { 01.18.13 at 4:24 pm }

You got two of my second-helpings already! Lori’s post was amazing and truly gave me so much to think about. And Jo’s post. Just wow.

Got a couple more:
First is a post from Mrs. GG about the realities of being an NICU mom. She courageously writes about the truths of giving birth at 25 weeks and all the grief and sadness that comes with it. So much to think about.

Second post is from Keiko. Busting the myth that being a pregnant infertile cures you of infertility and all of hell that comes with it.

I loved this post from you about people oversharing, especially with people they had excluded from an event: https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2013/01/dont-save-the-date/

Finally, this post from SIF about feeling jinxed. And how hard it is not to feel jinxed when good things go south. http://www.singleinfertilefemale.com/2013/01/jinx-2/

11 Mina { 01.18.13 at 5:20 pm }

Even though Lori and A both mentioned it already, I want to just say that your post DON’T GO SLICK really spoke to me. Mel, don’t ever change anything to this blog. Not if you love us… 🙂

12 Jo { 01.18.13 at 7:09 pm }

Thank you for the shout out! While I proudly proclaim my infertility these days, it’s still hard to talk about atheism. I’ve gotten a lot of support, though, and I really appreciate your pointing people my way. 🙂

13 Nikki P { 01.18.13 at 9:53 pm }

Loved the post from MoJo. Thanks for the link!

14 loribeth { 01.18.13 at 10:09 pm }

I loved this post from Tracey, summarizingthe story of her personal decision to live childless/free after infertility — and I completely agree with her personal five-step recipe for moving on & letting go:


15 St. E { 01.18.13 at 11:55 pm }
16 St. E { 01.18.13 at 11:55 pm }

Eeeek….it is a January 10 post!

Can it still be included? Pretty Please?

17 clare { 01.19.13 at 6:36 pm }

and yours will be a lot warmer than those classic outside port-a-pottys! way to decorate for the event:)

18 Guera { 01.19.13 at 9:04 pm }

I wonder if Denver Laura and I went to the same inauguration because my memories of frozen feet and toes are so acute I swear it can be 90 degrees outside but the minute someone mentions “inauguration” (because you know it comes up ALL the time) I feel my feet get cold and I shiver. Never again. But I am glad I have had the experience and can say I did it.

19 Denver Laura { 01.20.13 at 1:19 pm }

Oh yeah, and I forgot about the letter my 17 year old self mailed to my 36+ year old self. I say 36+ because it was congrats on being the second female president because obviously in 20 years surely there would be a female president before me. I wrote it and mailed it from DC on the day of the inauguration. I still have the letter and plan to give it to my daughter one day.

20 loribeth { 01.20.13 at 3:25 pm }

P.S. Mel, define “cold,” lol. I just checked and the current temp in Washington is 14C or 57F. Here in the Toronto area, it is about -4C, with a windchill factor that makes it feel more like -13C (25F/8F). In Manitoba, where my parents are & where I grew up, the current temp is -22C, with a windchill of -33C (that’s -7 and -22F, respectively).

21 Denver Laura { 01.21.13 at 10:47 am }
22 Fertility Doll { 01.21.13 at 4:15 pm }

This is my favourite post of the week. I shall give you a taster .. if it doesn’t make you laugh and want to hug Schrodingers Catbox, then well… what’s wrong with you?

“My nipples, for instance, are planning the baby shower. End of September. It’s a Libra. We’re so happy.

My lower back, however, knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no chance in an infinite number of hells, and that my period is lurking right around the corner. Walk it off, bitch.”


23 dspence { 01.24.13 at 8:51 am }
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