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Newtown

This morning, I ran through the rest stop, the ChickieNob jogging behind me at a sick pace, both hands clamped over her mouth until we stepped onto the tiled floor of the bathroom and she vomited next to the sink and burst into tears.

On another day, I might have cursed my luck; that I was the parent left to clean up the mess; to wash her hands and change her clothes and dry her tears and assure her that everyone understands illness. But today, I quietly returned her to a neutral place, neat, orderly, and I was thankful for the opportunity, to have her here in her vomiting glory.

I went back in the rest stop to wash my hands one last time and stood with the other parents for a moment by the rest stop televisions blasting CNN, our hands over our mouth as we watched the news. No way to contain it. No way to release it.

15 comments

1 Katie { 12.14.12 at 3:35 pm }

My heart is broken. I can’t wait to get home to K and hold her tight.

2 A.M.S. { 12.14.12 at 3:40 pm }

I bought a bright orange car with more airbags than cup holders to drive Moonpie around in. I bought the most rugged carseat I could afford. I covered all the outlets in the house and latched all the cabinets. I replaced all the cleaners with vinegar. I take her (and us) for all of our vaccinations. I cut her food into tiny bites.

How the hell am I supposed to keep her safe in a mall or a school or a movie theater?

Do they make kevlar in 2T?

Hug the babies for me.

3 Rain { 12.14.12 at 4:04 pm }

I was putting Cadet down for a nap, when I heard about this on the radio. I rocked him to sleep, thankful that he’s too young to understand what happened and scared for the future when I will have to explain events like today. There are no words.

4 Sunny { 12.14.12 at 4:09 pm }

All I can do is sob. It’s hard to live in a world where these things happen. 🙁

5 a { 12.14.12 at 4:20 pm }

So horrible.

6 Ana { 12.14.12 at 4:25 pm }

I don’t check the news at work. But I do check my reader. Oh Mel. I literally cannot breathe right now. I’m trying to not throw up myself

7 Stephanie { 12.14.12 at 4:46 pm }

I can’t stop crying. And I have trouble breathing when I think about those parents.

How do I keep my child safe?

8 Stupid Stork { 12.14.12 at 6:20 pm }

The world can be a sick and terrifying place.

9 emily { 12.14.12 at 6:39 pm }

i grew up in sandy hook.. i went to this school.. i simply cannot believe this has happened.

10 Turia { 12.14.12 at 8:15 pm }

I literally cannot breathe if I think of the parents. And I feel like I will hyperventilate if I even imagine, even for a moment, E. in such a situation.

As someone who lives north of your border, I cannot, cannot understand the American relationship to guns and the absolute unwillingness to act on actual gun control despite things like this happening again and again and again.

11 It Is What It Is { 12.14.12 at 9:50 pm }

As I said on FB: Tears, tears and more tears. There are not enough tears that can be shed for innocent children taken so tragically and way too soon.

12 V { 12.15.12 at 12:31 am }

I was home with my little one, who was also puking in all her glory. I held her close and cuddled her as I watched the news. I eventually turned and let her go back children’s programming. I don’t understand this, I can’t.

13 Tiara { 12.15.12 at 7:22 am }

No words. I am beside myself

14 Brid { 12.15.12 at 11:12 am }

I just can’t believe this type of thing keeps happening. What are we doing to ourselves? The horror.
My eight-year old had it right when full of emotion, he asked, ‘why does he have to take them all with him? Why can’t he just kill himself?’
Still in disbelief.

15 Brid { 12.15.12 at 11:25 am }

… and sorry Mel, if this isn’t the place to say it, but I disagree with those who say, after every single event such as this, that now is not the time to talk about gun control. This IS the time. Getting rid of such antiquated ideas and laws that people have a RIGHT to bear arms, is one of the best ways to honour these children and their families.
What about their rights for safety in a safe place? How does the arms right trump this, so much more obviously important right?

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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