My Blog is an Audition for My Words and Ideas
One of my favourite bloggers had to close her blog. She admitted, as many do, that she wasn’t even sure what her blog should be or where it even was, calling her exploration of social media and the way it changes constantly as feeling like “an old dog wrestling with a new trick.”
Blogging both feels as if it plods along, always the same if you’re eyeore-ish about it, as I seem to be. You will still find me here, years from now, with (most likely) the same layout and the same type of content. I have not Pinterestized my blog and I don’t vlog and I don’t have a lot of fancy schmancy plugins like a good blogger should.
This space is just an audition room for my words and ideas.
I don’t think any of us truly know the dimensions of our blog. We don’t know where our blog ends and the audience begins. We don’t know where we end and our blog begins. We have no sense of the depth of our ideas or the reach of our words. If you think about it too much, it’s like jumping into a sink hole without any knowledge of when your foot will touch bottom; a scary concept. But just because we can’t touch all the walls to be sure of its form doesn’t mean that we can’t understand aspects about the shape of the space. My blog is a harbour, it’s a refuge, it’s a dumping ground, it’s an information gatherer.
And mostly, it is, as I’ve already said, an audition space for my words and ideas, a place to try them out before I state them elsewhere, if at all. Things you read here end up later in books, usually in an altered yet similar form. If you squint at paragraphs, you can see places where Rachel Goldman is taking thoughts from my blog. I try them out here with you so I can understand them better myself. I take these ideas out of my head, place them on the screen, and after we speak about them, I place them back into my head, slightly changed.
I don’t usually convey ideas well when I’m speaking aloud. This is the place where I can explain myself, where I can build myself out of words. I feel confident here, and we all need a place where we feel confident because everyone struggles with some aspect of their world whether it’s their workplace relationships or their marriage or their friendships. Everyone needs a place that they can come to and feel understood. For others, that place is the yoga studio or a conference room or a local store. For me, it’s this blog.
I’m sad this writer is losing her space, even if she didn’t fully know her space, because I get a sense that she loved it even if she didn’t understand her blog at times. And because, selfishly, I loved getting a chance to see her words. I hope I get a chance one day to read them again.