390th Friday Blog Roundup

There was a great post on BlogHer this week about behaving “like a girl.”  How people use the phrase in a derogatory manner (throw like a girl, cry like a little girl, run like a girl).  There is a wonderful part in the post where the mother looks at her daughter and points out all the things she’d like to do “like a girl.”

I hope someday I can fly a kite like a girl. And do kung fu like a girl. And draw like a girl. And you know what? I wish I could cry like a girl. You get it all out, and then you look for the next thing, bouncing back with amazing speed. You don’t do like me, hold it inside as long as possible, letting it fester, bringing me down for days. You are not bitter.

Isn’t that brilliant?  I thought about all the little girls I know from family and friends and Girl Scouts and volunteering.  And I started compiling this list in my head of all the things I’d like to do like a girl.  I’d like to climb like a girl.  And hold hands with my friends like a girl.  And go all-out for spirit week like a girl.  And I’d like to write like a girl really loving what I create.

What would you like to do like a girl?

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Passed Right By – And Never Knew” (Diary of a Mom)
• “Commitment” (Seriously?!)
• “N is for Negative Pregnancy Tests” (Clay Baboons)
• “IF is Like a Video Game” (Braving IVF)
• “Eating Humble Pie” (I Believe in Miracles)
• “The Other Thing I Wish I’d Fought Back About” (Bébé Suisse)
• “Breather” (Ginger and Lime)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Infertile First Mom asks “What’s In a Loss?” after her only IVF cycle is cancelled.  It is a loss, she points out, even if the child never had a chance to grow inside of her; a goodbye to the person she has been hoping to have in her life.  And she brings in other losses; such as her first child who she placed for adoption 13 years ago.  She writes, “Yes, it was by my own choice and some would say that that makes a difference… but I promise you it didn’t make the pain hurt any less, just because I made the decision. The ache that I’m feeling right now is similar to the ache I felt 13 years ago when I let go of my baby girl. It’s a deep, hollow feeling that screams and echoes and reverberates throughout my body.  The feelings are similar, I believe, because both were born of that maternal love that is an innate part me… and so many of you.”  It’s a gorgeous, aching post.

Being Jamie Lynn has a post about realizing it has been a year since she last cycled.  I love the opening: “It’s hard to write when you don’t really know what direction you are heading in.  I wouldn’t say I’m lost, it’s more like I’m wandering.”  It’s a post about taking a deep breath and taking a step forward, even without knowing where that step will take you.

Life and Love in the Petri Dish has a post about telling family members about the pregnancy.  One reacts by telling her about other people who have also had a “difficult time” conceiving.  And her mother takes the opposite approach, reining herself in on asking about the specifics and instead just enjoying the big picture moment.  I loved the juxtaposition of the two different ways that two different people accepted and processed the information.

Lastly, there were so many good “Don’t Ignore” posts for NIAW this week.  I loved Life Without Baby’s post about not ignoring the option to resolve your infertility by living child-free.  She points out a reality within infertility: “In many ways, there’s a perception that infertility is never an insurmountable obstacle to a family, and that there is always a next step available. In theory, that’s somewhat true, but in practice, it’s never as simple as that, and many us find that we reach the end of our emotional or financial paths long before we exhaust the list of family building options available to us.”  She agrees that child-free is not an option that fits everyone, but that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t have the same support in place (or be discussed) as much as all the other ways people resolve infertility.  A great post.

The roundup to the Roundup: What would you do like a girl?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between April 20th and April 27th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.