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379th Friday Blog Roundup

Interesting lesson learned at yoga class — in two of my classes this week, we practiced pranayama, which is breathing in and out of alternating nostrils (I know, the description sounds sexy).  You close your left nostril, breathe out your right nostril, breathe in your right nostril, close your right nostril, and then breathe out your left nostril, so on and so on.

The first time we did it, the teacher commented that at every point in the day, one nostril is clearer than the other.  I can wait a moment — check it out.  Which one is stuffier for you right now?  For me, at the time of writing this, my right nostril is more open.  Our nostrils are on an hour and a half cycle, switching stuffiness throughout the day.  At least I think it’s one and a half hours.  At the moment she was telling us this information, I was turned around to make an orgasm joke to my friend behind me, so I may have misheard her.  Though I have no regrets — the orgasm joke was pretty damn funny in the moment.

She told us that there are certain activities that are better to do when your right nostril is open vs. your left.  For instance, eating is perfect when your right nostril is open because it aids in digestion.  And creative thought is better when your left nostril is open.  Hence why this post is going to suck since I’m right-nostrilly at the moment.

Since I have heard this information, I have been (1) acutely aware of which nostril is more open and (2) also aware that I rarely do the correct activity at the correct time.  I was cursing myself during yoga class for being on the mat when my left nostril was open and I should have been writing.  And then my left nostril opened right when it was time to eat breakfast.  Now that I’ve told you, you will probably be cursed with these same thoughts.

You’re welcome.


I learned two new terms on Thursday, and I need you to teach me one more so I can have the completion of three (because don’t we all learn things in threes?  No?  Am I the only one with this particular neuroses?)  The first also came during a new yoga class.  The teacher was greeting me since I had never been in her class before.  As I was saying hello, I had a big yawn, and when she asked me how I was, I replied, “tired.”

“Oh,” she said, in this totally normal tone of voice.  “Are you a dirty stayout?”

I had to ask her to repeat the term since this yoga teacher could not have called me a dirty stayout, but indeed, I heard correctly.  I needed this explained — a dirty stayout is someone who parties all night, comes home to sleep for an hour or two, and then goes into their day.  Unless you call one berry cosmopolitan consumed around 10 pm a dirty stayout, I was not eligible for this moniker, but I loved it enough that I quickly jotted it down before the class started.

After class, I ran to the grocery store on my way home.  I was chatting with the cashier (who told me that it totally looked as if I had lost weight.  I love living in a small town where you know the backstories of the cashiers and the cashiers know your backstories) and she said to another employee, “Dave is out looking for dead heads.”

Again, I thought I might have misheard, so I asked what dead heads were.  They are the insider’s term for merchandise that customers pick up in one part of the store and ditch in another instead of walking it back to its proper place.  For instance, when I went to grab a carton of butter (my mind immediately going to the poor butter-less Norwegians — I will never be able to look at a carton of butter again), there were a bunch of Amazon gift cards that someone had left in the refrigerated section rather than take back to the gift card rack.  It’s someone’s job at the food store to go “deadheading” — walking up and down the aisles and returning everything to its proper place.

So now I know dirty stayout and dead head.  Teach me one more term I may not know.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Something Out of Nothing has a post about her neurotic behaviour.  She admits, “I obsess over Hubby’s fertility treatments, about next steps, about my own fertility or lack thereof (not that I have done anything about this, as I’m too worried there might actually be something wrong), about the money it will take to get there, about what we’ll do if it doesn’t work, or if it works too well and we end up with twins.  These thoughts never leave me.  While I’m working, while I’m falling asleep, while I’m watching TV, driving, eating, breathing.”  But moreover, she writes about how blogging plays into that equation.  It’s a really good read.

Life’s Little Reflections has a post about how being part of the ALI blogosphere has influenced her thoughts now as a mother, namely, her fears.  She worries about her son if he ever sleeps beyond a certain time and asks if the thoughts she has are normal.  She writes, “I’ve never had a child die – that I could see as an explanation of why I worry about this. Yes, one of the dangers inherent in being involved in the AIL blogosphere is knowing that shit happens. That children die in all stages, for any number of reasons.”  It’s that realization that the most important things are out of your control, and the fear that accompanies that.

Too Many Fish to Fry has a new post up in her Faces of Adoption/Loss/Infertility series featuring a blogger with a run-of-the-mill adoption story.  The point to this series is to provide balance to the mainstream media’s coverage of infertility issues.  Instead of focusing on the Nadya Sulemans, she’s presenting the common woman experiencing infertility — how she feels and what she does.  I would really love to see this series exit our community and reach the mainstream — perhaps hitting some of those people who read the New York Times and have their understanding of infertility shaped from those articles.  Anything you can do to help spread word: Tweet it, Facebook it, Stumble it, Google+ it, Pin it, blog about it, send it to your mother.  Just help get these posts out there.

Lastly, IF Crossroads has a post about the exhausted place she finds herself in from being her own advocate for way too long.  A therapy session brings her to a realization of how long she has had to take care of herself and others.  She states, “There are days when I don’t want to get up out of bed. I’m so tired. So tired of fighting. So tired of making decisions. So tired of worrying if I’m going to let someone down in the process.  I’ve lost myself along the way. I don’t even know what makes ME happy anymore because I’m so focused on everyone and everything else in life.”  No deep reason for why this post spoke to me beyond the fact that she made me wish I could reach my arms through the screen and hug her.

The roundup to the Roundup: Which nostril is stuffier?  Please teach me a new term.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 3rd and February 10th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 loribeth { 02.10.12 at 8:30 am }

I have long noticed the nostril thing, but then again, I often have stuffy sinuses, so I’m always grateful when I can breathe easily through my nose.

As for a new term, I can’t remember how this got started, but around our office, we have started calling those issues that pop up out of nowhere & threaten to blow up in your face if you don’t put a lid on it quickly “flaming marshmallows.” I’ve googled the term & while I found a lot of references to flaming marshmallows (who knew??), none in that particular context, so I’d like to think it’s something relatively unique to us (although of course I could be wrong). ; )

Will check my reader & see if I have any second helpings to contribute later.

2 April { 02.10.12 at 8:37 am }

Right now, my left nostril is stuffier so I should be eating breakfast. However, since that was eaten a while ago, I too seem to be opposite, at least for now.

After I moved to Pittsburgh, I started learning lots of new words that appear to be unique to this area. Here are a few for your enjoyment:

Gumband – rubberband
Jumbo – balogna
Jagoff – an unkind term for a person, short for jackoff or another term for jerk

3 Lynn { 02.10.12 at 9:23 am }

Interestingly, my left nostril is stuffier while I type this, so perhaps my comment will appear witty. However, since I’m also eating breakfast at the same time, I’m unlikely to digest it properly. The trade-offs we unwittingly make!

As for a new term, I heard a good one this week: Deja Moo – The feeling you’ve heard this bullsh*t before. I loved it! Definitely in my repetoire of vocabulary now!

4 JustHeather { 02.10.12 at 10:18 am }

I just found this post today and it is something that everyone could modify and use for their own life during IF or any other stressful situation.

And now I’ll go back and read today’s post.

5 Alexicographer { 02.10.12 at 10:35 am }

Oh dear. Since you ask, I regret to report that my big new phrase for last year was “nephrosplenic entrapment.” Horses get this when a section of their large intestine gets caught over the ligament (?) that connects the kidney and the spleen — or something like that– and can’t get back to where it needs to be; blocked gut, bad stuff. Happened to my horse, did not end well.

6 Lori Lavender Luz { 02.10.12 at 11:20 am }

Here’s your 3rd word: yogasm. You probably don’t need to look it up in Urban Dictionary. Nightline had a clip on it last night, while you were being a dirty stayout.


I’m now completely nostrilcentric. TYVM. And there’s a 4th word for you.

7 Rachel { 02.10.12 at 11:23 am }

I love this post! My right nostril is always more stuffed, I had sinus surgery years ago and I still get asked (almost daily) if I have a cold, because my nose still sounds stuffy.

The new phrase at work is to make something beer truck friendly: meaning, if you were to get hit by a beer truck tomorrow, the procedures would be easy to teach someone new quickly. Morbid, right?

8 Denver Laura { 02.10.12 at 11:23 am }

“Reefer” = refrigerated truck

Since you’re now aware of the whole nostril thing, the next step is trying a neti pot. I haven’t had a sinus infection since I bought one.

9 a { 02.10.12 at 12:13 pm }

We had an interesting discussion in the comments on this one:


I can’t think of any current words for you, although we always made fun of the people from Wisconsin because they call drinking fountains “bubblers.”

I think my left nostril is permanently more stuffed, which explains why I have a cast iron stomach.

10 magpie { 02.10.12 at 12:15 pm }

okay – i’ll give you that one nostril is stuffier than the other. but that which one it is affects digestion and creativity? ai yi yi. people believe anything.

11 Tigger { 02.10.12 at 1:16 pm }

Thank you for choosing my post, Mel! You have no idea how excited it made me.

There is a biological reason for the nostril thing. It has to do with the mucus lining, and how the body blocks one nostril off at a time so that they don’t dry out. 🙂 It may not be a new word, but it MIGHT be a new piece of information!!

12 Erica { 02.10.12 at 1:54 pm }

These are great terms! I “dead-head” in the garden, cutting the wilted flower heads off of plants (usually in the hopes of more flowers).

Today my left nostril is stuffier. And now I kind of wish I didn’t know that so very clearly.

13 Erin { 02.10.12 at 1:58 pm }

I really like this post. The author writes about what her children might be like had she not miscarried. And the tugging emotions of missing those children but at the same time, being so much in love with her adopted son.


14 loribeth { 02.10.12 at 2:42 pm }

Keiko at Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed had a great post today highlighting some recent (& hilarious, but point-making) legislative proposals. Political heroes are far & few between these days, but I think I just found some new ones:


15 Sushigirl { 02.10.12 at 2:45 pm }

It’s called a “dirty stop out” here, and it usually means a one night stand rather than merely just having a couple of hours sleep.

My personal favourite term is “shitehawk”. It never fails to make me smile when someone uses it. It either means someone who talks nonsense, someone who sells useless things, or a seagull.

I am trying to think of a slightly more genteel one now, but failing.

16 clare { 02.10.12 at 4:06 pm }

Thanks for the suggestion to share Too Many Fish to Fry’s post in her Faces of Adoption/Loss/Infertility series… I rarely post anything ALI related on my FB page, but tonight I did, and somehow the likes (which normally mean nothing to me) had this wave of joy to me. thanks for the encouragement

17 Daryl { 02.10.12 at 6:35 pm }

Thanks for the shout-out, Mel! I’m honored and humbled (and I’ll try not to obsess too much about how many new visitors I get as a result). Right now both my nostrils seem to be equally clear. Maybe I’m mid-cycle or something.

The only new words I can think of right now are the made-up ones my husband uses, like “maneuverate” and “tarfy.” Maybe I’ll think of better ones when my left nostril takes over.

18 Amy { 02.10.12 at 8:11 pm }

my grandmother uses the ‘dirty stay out’ thing regularly. I love that phrase!

19 Lisa { 02.10.12 at 8:24 pm }

Ahhh! My husband is fascinated with how much smaller my left nostril is than my right nostril. So now I’m worried that when my left nostril is unstuffy I’m not getting enough oxygen. That would explain a lot, actually!

One of my coworkers says “schmohead” all the time. It’s like “jerk” only nicer. Once you start, you will not be able to stop using it!

20 jjiraffe { 02.11.12 at 2:06 am }

Thank you so much for highlighting the Faces of ALI series 🙂

I’d like to spotlight this article, about what it’s truly like to want a child. The rawness, power will not soon leave you.


21 katie { 02.11.12 at 9:15 am }

We say “dirty stopout” and it’s just anyone who comes home later than normal after a night out. No need for a brief period of sleep and getting up early – you could have a lie in the next day and still be a dirty stopout.

22 Mic @ IF Crossroads { 02.11.12 at 12:44 pm }

Thank you so much for recognizing my post this week. It was one of those blog entries where I had to immediately stop what I was doing and just write to get the thoughts and emotions out of my head and on paper. It’s so nice to have people swing by and offer support right now. Thank you.

And right now it’s my left 🙂

23 Rebecca { 02.11.12 at 1:42 pm }

Round Yorkshire way, we say you’re a ‘dirty stopout’. Stop is a synonym for stay. Like “Are you stopping over?”

24 Her Royal Fabulousness { 02.11.12 at 1:45 pm }

This is an amazing post about the veil we put on with IF


25 Manapan { 02.12.12 at 1:55 am }

I loved this post so much that I can’t being myself to comment on it because I keep writing way too much. The last sentence gets me every time: http://nutsinmay.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/im-not-a-survivor-yet/

My right nostril is stuffier, and now I’m upset about it because I just finished my dinner. As for your new term, I recently learned iFinger. It’s the one finger you keep clean when you’re eating something messy so that you can still use your touchscreen devices without making a huge mess.

26 coffeegrljp { 02.12.12 at 5:17 am }

Right now it’s the right nostril. 🙂
I saw a list of Pittsburgh-isms from April up above and was surprised she left off the infamous “Pittsburgh left”. I love that one. “Did that guy just make a Pittsburgh left?” It’s when a driver waiting to make a left turn does so rather than yielding to oncoming traffic (which should have the right of way).

27 Barb { 02.13.12 at 12:10 am }

Redd up? Snarky? Rutschy? 🙂

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