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378th Friday Blog Roundup

Can you tell that I was bothered by the Susan G Komen/Planned Parenthood defunding debacle this week?


Last Friday, instead of getting work accomplished, I spent most of the day cleaning up my sidebar.  There were just a lot of… words.  Now there are more pictures.  There are little icons for places where I’ve always been such as Facebook or Twitter.  And there are new ones such as Pinterest (looky — I made a page for Life from Scratch).  Plus, there is a brand spanking new email list you can add yourself to (it’s the orange book icon) if you want to be informed when the sequel and future books (because yes, I have outlines for three more Rachel Goldman book) are coming out.

It’s nice and neat now, and I like the less-cluttered look.


I started yoga this week, and I wish I could tell you that it has changed my life and brought me tons of inner peace, but I’m finding that I’m really not the yoga sort.  At the same time, I have already purchased the mat and paid for the classes, so I will be doing yoga since I am the practical sort.

The first day I went, I ate a yogurt and drank a cup of coffee beforehand.  The website told me not to, but I knew I needed my energy.  About three minutes into the 75-minute “continuous flow” yoga class (which is just a fancy way of saying that you never stop moving, holding each pose for only one breath.  Or, in my case, one gasp), as I was hanging in downward-facing dog, I realized that I wanted to vomit.  The yogurt and coffee were fighting their way into my throat, burning a hole in their path.  I went home fairly miserable for the rest of the day, leaving myself a reminder to go on an empty stomach next time.

The second class was more my speed (meaning, we paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaused for a loooooooooooooooooong tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime) and I wasn’t internally fighting with a container of Greek yogurt, but it still didn’t grab me in the way that running does.  My third class was attended with a friend of mine, so I spent most of the time trying not to laugh as our classmates got themselves into impressive positions while we fudged it.  And then we went out for a beer, which sort of negated the whole yoga thing but was the thought that kept me in the class for the full 75 minutes.

Perhaps yoga will grow on me; I’m not ruling that out.  And even if it doesn’t, I’m going to keep doing it for the time being.  Plus, I’ve lost 6 pounds so far by changing my eating habits and adding in yoga.  Pretty damn good progress.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

The Kir Corner has a post titled “Because It Wasn’t Enough” (fine, it was from last Thursday, but I didn’t read it until Friday night) about how she feels about working while parenting after infertility.  It’s not only an interesting post; it’s an interesting discussion in the comment section (and you should jump in too).  The part I love is what she will tell her children: “Because even though I wanted you with every ounce of my being, even though I struggled and beat the odds to even get pregnant with you, even though just the sight of you makes me struggle for breath because you are mine forever and always… motherhood wasn’t enough. I needed something for myself, just like every other mommy I know.”  Go over and read the post in full.

MoJo Working has a very honest post this week about the problem with infertility blogs, namely, the fact that they often change direction.  She admits: “Whatever the reason, I am finding myself deleting more and more of my familiar blogs from my reader, and seeking out new ones.”  I liked it because she said what I suspect a lot of people think, and because the post challenged me to consider a different point of view.

Mission: Fertile Soul has a post about feeling strange about feeling okay.  That she isn’t upset, and this is what feels weird and new.  She explains: “But, it’s almost as if I’m looking at my particular IF journey as an observer and not the person experiencing it.  There’s no more intense sadness, or guilt, or anger, or frustration.  I’ve gotten teary, because I want to hug that part of myself that experienced all of that crap and ended up stronger and with a bigger zest for life on the other side (even without currently having a baby or being pregnant).  I don’t feel wounded or scarred.”  It’s a post that proves the idea that children resolve childlessness, but they don’t resolve infertility.  That is something every person must do on their own.

Lastly, Magpie Musing has a post about loving her daughter and how she marries that with the grief she felt over all the cycles which didn’t result in a child.  The whole post is fantastic, but I love this thought: “Can you grieve that, a procedure that didn’t work?  Most attempts at pregnancy don’t work; lots of fertilizations the “normal” way end up in early miscarriage, so early that the woman doesn’t even know she was pregnant. So, yes, I was sad that it didn’t work, with all those dollars down the tube to boot, but that’s not really grief, is it?”

The roundup to the Roundup: Obviously bothered by the defunding of Planned Parenthood.  Check out my new icons (and sign up for the book news email list if you want to know when the next book will be released).  I started yoga, and I can’t say that I love it.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between January 27th and February 3rd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 loribeth { 02.03.12 at 12:31 pm }

I took up yoga after my post-treatment anxiety attacks began, & took classes on & off for a number of years. I wouldn’t say I was very good at it, and yes, sometimes you feel a little ridiculous in some of the poses, but I did enjoy it & really felt that it helped (especially the lying down/meditation part of it at the very end, lol). I took my classes through the local community college, & it was much more of a general/fun/fitness thing, not the seriously committed ohm-chanting sort of yoga. (Sadly, they don’t offer the classes in the very convenient location where I used to go, and I haven’t gone further afield yet, although I would love to take it up again at some point.) Most of the participants were middle-aged women the same age or older than me, who groaned (& giggled!) as much or more than I did, which helped. ; )

I flagged these two posts earlier in the week to be sure I mentioned here today. : ) First, a post from The Misfit at Just Being about a disastrous Saturday evening spent with her new-mommy friends and all their kids, and about the strength it takes to endure these situations — which sometimes just isn’t there. I wanted to give her a huge hug after reading this post:


Second, Mali at a Separate Life, reflecting on a snide comment overheard & blogged about by Beef Princess in December: “She has no children. She has NOTHING.” (This post was also highlighted on the Prompt-ly listserv.) You should actually start with the original post by Beef Princess, then read Mali’s response as well as one by Nicole of Real Life & Thereafter (all three living childless/free, not necessarily by first choice).

The original post by Beef Princess: http://www.simplynotconceivable.com/archives/142

Mali: http://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2012/01/she-has-no-children-she-has-nothing.html

Nicole: http://nicoleciomek.com/?p=627

2 Rachel { 02.03.12 at 1:05 pm }

I have tried to get into yoga a million times. I actually took it 2ce a week last year for like 3 months, and I’ll admit it was really good for me. But, miss 6 months like I did, go back for a class, and I mean it: You will swear to Gd never to go again. I don’t mind waking up with a limp because I’m not stretchy.

3 Lori Lavender Luz { 02.03.12 at 1:16 pm }

I noticed your new widget and wondered what it was — I might steal it!

Yay you for trying yoga and for being practical. And having a beer afterward :-).

My submission to second helpings is https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2012/01/the-saddest-chapstick-story-you-will-ever-read/

4 Anjali { 02.03.12 at 4:57 pm }

Best of luck with the yoga. I will say this– a yoga class is only as good as its teacher. So don’t be afraid to shop around– styles are different, teachers are different. At my gym, I will only go to classes taught by my four favorite teachers– I skip the rest. You maintain the right to reject any class that doesn’t serve you and your needs.

5 Keiko { 02.03.12 at 5:54 pm }

I applaud the addition of yoga & healthy eating habits – I’ve been on a similar path and have actually lost and kept off weight now for the first time in a decade. I keep telling Larry, “it feels good to get healthy.” I went to a yoga class Monday that I didn’t enjoy, so now I need to fight to keep going. I’ll keep down-dogging if you do – deal?


From IF to When’s Woman vs. Woman post today – brills. Link: http://www.fromiftowhen.com/2012/02/woman-vs-woman-my-response-to-komen.html

JJiraffe’s post about being a “happy” survivor. It just really rang with me this week – it’s so painfully honest and just puts herself out there. Link: http://jjiraffe.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/when-you-are-not-a-viking-what-do-you-do

JWMoxie’s reflection this week on how the universe seems to be telling her she’s got work to do out there. Link: http://thesmartness.com/smartone/2012/02/yesterday-today-tomorrow.html

And to round it out, I’d like to throw my State of the Uterus post into the ring. I was pretty fired up when I wrote it. Link: http://www.hannahweptsarahlaughed.com/2012/02/the-state-of-the-uterus

6 Nikki { 02.03.12 at 6:39 pm }

Yoga. The thought of it makes me ill. I have tried a few times with different teachers. It makes me cry. Being 34 I just feel inadequate when I go. The other women seem to have a sense of superiority or something and I feel small and alone. I don’t feel adult enough to be there. I still have 9 classes I paid for in my prenatal yoga so I need to use them but I am terrified.

7 Kir { 02.04.12 at 6:27 am }

I am doing this from my phone…so the blogs I want to share…UGH I can’t. It’s 6:30 am!!!!

I am so proud of you for the yoga…I am not the yga type, honestly I’m more a Zumba type I wish my body would cooperate.. 😉

Thank u for highlighting that post of mine, it took me a long time to hit publish and I’m still not sure I said what I wanted to but for now just knowing it’s out there and people are readin git is good enough. It’s one of the reaszons that I am not commenting on my comments…I just wanted the words to talk for me.

Thank you!!!!!! You made my weekend xo

8 Manapan { 02.05.12 at 2:15 am }

Sadly, I don’t remember a word of this post after the second paragraph because I was silently chanting, “More Rachel Goldman! More Rachel Goldman!” I had to share that. 🙂 Now, to go back and actually concentrate on the post.

9 JustHeather { 02.05.12 at 11:16 am }

I agree with Anjali. Not all yoga classes (or instructors for that matter) are equal. There are also different types of yoga, some of which you might like and others not so.. I hope you’ll find one you like (or not) during the pass you’ve bought. If not, at least you’ve tried it and know how you stand on the subject.

10 Jo { 02.05.12 at 3:34 pm }

Yoga and I are not friends. I cracked my tailbone as a teenager, and I just don’t bend that way. But running? Running makes me happy.

Words can’t express how tickled I was to see my name up there on the Roundup. It’s like winning an Oscar, at least in the IF blogosphere. Your actions mean so much more to some of us than you will ever realize. Thank you for everything you have done to build this place — it saves lives. Literally.

My contribution to the wrap up is my own post (how tacky is that?) that I wrote in response to your nod.


11 a { 02.07.12 at 1:27 pm }

I am not bendy. My shoulders are weak. I would never go to a yoga class because watching others do so easily what is virtually impossible for me is not my idea of a good time. Also, I’m pretty sure at some point, I’d fall over and knock everyone else down like a chain of dominoes.

I like your new icons…

12 magpie { 02.07.12 at 2:57 pm }

Thank you. It means a lot to me to have been included here. Mwah!

13 Denise { 02.07.12 at 10:57 pm }

Do you ever visit Lifewithoutbaby.com? Check out Lisa. Inever saw her mentioned here.

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