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Bradley Cooper and Other Examples of Man Meat… (I mean, sexiest men alive)

People magazine has named Bradley Cooper their sexiest man alive.  But, no, it doesn’t just come down to looks.

Ladies, take note: this Georgetown grad can whip up dinner, take you for a spin on his motorcycle and whisper sweet nothings in French (he’s fluent!). Just don’t try convincing him what a catch he is.

Wait, why are only ladies taking note?  What?  Men can’t enjoy gazing at Bradley Cooper’s dreamy… what colour are his eyes?… blue eyes? (I couldn’t actually tell what colour his eyes are in the photo, but it says in the first paragraph that he has “dazzling baby blues,” and I’m assuming that refers to his eyes and not that he has a less severe case of postpartum depression).

I don’t know if I find someone cooking, driving a motorcycle, or speaking French sexy per se.  I mean, I loved it when Josh first cooked me dinner, mostly because it was so endearing how much he had to concentrate on the recipe and what an enormous mess he made to impress me.  And being capable of operating a motorized vehicle is something many adults are capable of doing so I don’t jizz my pants every time I’m in traffic and observe all the people around me driving.  And with over 64 million people in France alone not to mention all other French-speaking countries and countless students who were forced to take a foreign language in order to graduate, I don’t find the ability to conduct a conversation in a second language all that enticing.  I mean, listen, if the man spoke fluent Ubbi Dubbi I’d be a little more impressed.  After all, how many people speak Ubbi Dubbi these days since Zoom went off the air?

The problem, of course, is that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.  I don’t find Bradley Cooper particularly sexy. (I’m so sorry, Mr. Cooper, but maybe I’m not your cup of tea either.)   I didn’t get excited for Ryan Reynolds in 2010.  While I had an enormous crush on Johnny Depp back in his 21 Jump Street days, my eyes sort of skipped over him during his feature in 2009.  Or Hugh Jackman in 2008.  Which is to say that I have a deep respect for Hugh Jackman — think he’s a talented actor and I love the way he discusses his family — but I just don’t find him sexy.  Perusing back through all the old Sexiest Man Alive winners, I can’t say that People magazine and I have ever agreed.

If I ran People magazine, I’d slap Joshua Ford on the cover.  The man is sexy.  He runs out for emergency tampons when I don’t buy them because of superstitious, hopeful reasons.  He told me I was hot when we were in the throes of treatments and I felt anything but.  He takes all the twins’ night wakings, allowing me to sleep.  He cleans the snow off my windshield in the winter.  He still has all his hair and it’s not even greying.  He scrunches up his nose in excitement when he talks about the Pixies.

That’s who I’d put on the cover.

The Wolvog and Josh back when the Wolvog liked to pull the bottom of his shirt over his face and hang out.

And a close runner up is my celebrity-crush-since-last-February, Billie Joe Armstrong — even with his new blond hair.  (Josh claims he would never clear the snow from my windshield, and he’s probably right… though it could be because he’s from California and they don’t get a lot of snow there.  But he also just might not be a gentleman like that.  That’s sort of the problem with celebrity crushes — you just don’t know the actual person.)

Who would you put on the cover as People’s Sexiest Person Alive — both celebrity and non-celebrity?  Why person?  Because not every woman likes dudes.  Just sayin’, People.


1 Elizabeth { 11.20.11 at 8:23 am }

Publicists apparently have a lot of influence over who makes the list and who gets the cover. I usually find myself scratching my head quite a bit over their choices.

2 HereWeGoAJen { 11.20.11 at 8:57 am }

I don’t know, that guy looks kind of familiar, but I don’t have any idea who he is. I am obviously not up on the pop culture like I need to be.

I’d have to put my Matt on the cover. He used to clear snow from my windshield back when it snowed and we didn’t have garages. And he fills my car up with gas for me. And pats me on the head. And my favorite is when he puts his hand on the small of my back while we are walking. I really like him.

3 Her Royal Fabulousness { 11.20.11 at 9:16 am }

I tend to like more interesting looking men like Daniel Day Lewis (in his Last of the Mohicans/Age of Innocence days) and Benecio Del Toro. Although your hubby gracing the cover is a much better idea. 🙂

4 unaffected { 11.20.11 at 9:25 am }

Here I thought I was the only woman in the world who doesn’t find Bradley Cooper or Ryan Reynolds attractive. Thank you for verifying that I’m not an anomaly!

5 Delenn { 11.20.11 at 9:38 am }

I had no idea who Bradley Cooper or Ryan Reynolds were and did not care too much either. Boy, I am old. I am for more old school looks (i.e. Harrison Ford or Johnny Depp or, in more recent times–David Borenaz).

6 May { 11.20.11 at 10:51 am }

Um, [furtively glances around to see if she’s being observed]…

Colin Firth.


7 Chickenpig { 11.20.11 at 11:37 am }

Eddie Vedder 🙂 That dude is HOT and he can sing. And I bet he would clean your windshield, too. If that’s what they’re calling it these days. 😉

And I have to say, Josh Ford does look pretty cute. And I’m not just saying that because he looks a bit like my husband.

8 loribeth { 11.20.11 at 11:41 am }

I have to admit, I don’t “get” Bradley Cooper either. Or Patrick Dempsey, for that matter. I mean, they’re reasonably nice looking, but I don’t get the whole McDreamy thing. Maybe it’s the stubble. I tend to prefer clean-shaven.

I do find Hugh Jackman kind of sexy — maybe partly because he’s so darned talented, & seems like an extremely nice guy. And yes, May, Colin Firth. ; ) But I still think George Clooney most closely fits my definition of classic movie star. Although when we went to see “The Ides of March” I was equally as enthralled by Ryan Gosling on the screen. ; ) Even though I’m old enough to be his mother (gulp).

9 a { 11.20.11 at 12:01 pm }

I thought I was the only one who had no idea who Bradley Cooper is…

10 Amy { 11.20.11 at 12:20 pm }

I’m with you. Er, wait, not like that. I’d put MY hubby on the cover. I’m more in love with him through all our infertility treatments, my twin pregnancy Hell and our loss than I ever was before, and boy, I was before.

I had to click over and read the essay you referenced. It sounds to me like you guys used a “real” clinic with all the bells and whistles. The overhead at ours is kept really low so their prices are more affordable than any others in our region…but that means my hubby gives his donation either standing up or sitting on a toilet in the dr’s bathroom. No magazines, no recliner, nothing…just shaving cream, a razor and toothpaste in the medicine cabinet (he looked!).

11 pork chop { 11.20.11 at 12:46 pm }

Ryan Gosling!!! Have you seen Crazy, Sexy Love? You others are so noble to put your DHs down…

12 Tigger { 11.20.11 at 12:50 pm }

I never buy People – and yet I did this year, precisely because Bradley Cooper was on the cover. I never COULD remember his name for the longest time – he was always “Will, from Alias”. He wasn’t so cute back then, at least in the same way. I still don’t consider him sexy, but really cute? Yeah, I can go for that. And you’re talking to the girl whose tastes run to Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, and Johnny Depp. 🙂

13 Michaela { 11.20.11 at 1:06 pm }

Javier Bardem

14 Mandy { 11.20.11 at 1:19 pm }

Bradley Cooper is good looking, but I’ll always be a Jude Law circa Talented Mr. Ripley kinda girl. Johnny Depp was probably the last Sexiest Man Alive pick that I agreed with.
As far as a non-celebrity, definitely my husband. We’ve been married for 11 years, together for 17 and he still loves to surprise me. Not to mention he is still a hottie, works hard, and is the best dad I know. <3

15 It Is What It Is { 11.20.11 at 1:44 pm }

I do not now, nor have I ever understood the reason to even name a ‘sexiest’ or most ‘beautiful’ anyone. I mean, yes, I understand that for some reason it sells magazines, but why anyone would care who some editor at People thought was the sexiest man (or woman) completely eludes me. I mean, I might be vaguely interested if there were sexiness categories that were put to some vote by the masses and the public decided based on a cumulative sexiness score, but beyond that? Yawn.

16 April { 11.20.11 at 2:24 pm }

Nobody likes Robert Redford anymore?

I think Bradley Cooper’s pretty darn cute, and I knew who he was because we just watched Limitless. I second Tigger’s Dwayne Johnson, and add Mark Wahlberg.

17 Lori Lavender Luz { 11.20.11 at 2:31 pm }

Jubosh ubis uba puberfubect chuboice fubor aball thube hubot rubeasubons yubou subay.

UbI wubould pubut Ruboguber ubon muby cubuvuber, ubas wubell. Hube cubooks. HubAWT!

(Do you know that “Hubby” in UbbiDubbi is Hububububububububububububububububububbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubby? I’m not sure it every really ends.)

18 Katie @ Team Skelley { 11.20.11 at 2:43 pm }

I am a huge Alias fan, so I have some residual love for Bradley Cooper from his Will Tippin days. I don’t know if I find him sexy, but he is cute and tall with great legs.

I tend to go for guys who do not fit the hearthrob mold. I kinda like Andrew Garfield from The Social Network and the new Spiderman. He looks sorta like a giant troll doll, but in a good way. And his British accent is dreamy.

19 liljan98 { 11.20.11 at 3:35 pm }

I usually don’t get People’s “Sexiest Guy…” thing, because the guys they usually pick, don’t do anything for me. I admit I didn’t even know Bradley Cooper. Or maybe I saw him in a movie trailer before, but he didn’t leave any impression.
I’d put Patrick Dempsey on the cover though 🙂 I like him on TV/in movies and he is a great guy as well, from what I’ve read/seen/heard about him . Personality is more than 50% of the sexy factor in my eyes.
If it weren’t for the “alive” part of the title, I’d put my favourite fictional book character on the cover: Jamie Fraser (from the Outlander series). The nice thing about written characters sexiness factor is, that it’s all up to us readers and our imagination. And mine is running pretty wild in this case, so Jamie would definitely deserve a People’s cover 🙂

20 Tiara { 11.20.11 at 3:36 pm }

Ian Somerhalder…’nuff said :p

21 Kimberly { 11.20.11 at 3:42 pm }

I gotta say, I’d instantly put my hubby on the cover. Man knows how to rock the beard. I love it when his laugh is so big that he jumps off the couch and slaps his leg. And I never have to worry about shoveling the driveway. And even for all the times I had to forgive him because I somehow ended up being the one affected by his prank wars with his friends.

Bradley Cooper is nice to look at, he made me laugh when I watched the hangover, but he really doesn’t do anything for me. If I had to pick a celebrity to go on the cover, it would be either Jason Segel or Neil Patrick Harris (just seeing him with his partner and children just makes me melt into a puddle of goo)

22 Amanda { 11.20.11 at 6:01 pm }

I am a bit of a nerd and I would still say Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing would be my cover man! I have loved Dirty Dancing since I was a little girl (my mother never censored movies and she let me watch it when she first saw it….then I saw it again, and again and again). In university, I did my thesis on the movie for a popular culture course I was taking (don’t ask me what I argued – I have no idea!). I did shed a tear when he passed. Poor Patrick!

23 jjiraffe { 11.20.11 at 6:21 pm }

I’m starting to feel kinda bad for Bradley Cooper 🙁 There was a protest to take away his title and give it to Ryan Gosling in front of People’s HQ. If you are interested in the politics of how and why People picks their subjects, this is pretty interesting (scroll to the middle of the page) http://www.laineygossip.com/Page/3

My own pick would be Paul Rudd…who looks a lot like my husband 😉

24 Katie { 11.20.11 at 6:44 pm }

Chase Utley, 2nd baseman for the Phillies. Not only is he adorable and an incredible athlete, but he and his wife run a charity to save abused animals. A man after my own heart.

25 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 11.20.11 at 8:35 pm }

Jason Momoa is not my type at all but he is super hawt.

26 Jen { 11.20.11 at 10:16 pm }

It’s awesome that you would put your husband up there. <3 Personally, I a am a Bradley Cooper fan. I loved the show "Alias" where I first met him as the geeky reporter friend, Will. I still have a soft spot for him.

27 Manapan { 11.21.11 at 5:05 am }

Okay, Josh is totally hot. 🙂

I don’t know enough celebrity gossip to choose one for the cover. By looks alone, I’d probably go with Hugh Laurie or Laetitia Casta. I always feel too bad about ranking people by attractiveness to ever choose a non-celebrity person for the cover. Even if I specified it was chosen by sexy deeds only, I’d be too afraid my choice would be misinterpreted.

28 loribeth { 11.21.11 at 10:12 am }

@April: I still think Robert Redford is sexy, wrinkles & all. : ) My mom took my sister & me to the drive-in on a school night so that we could see “The Way We Were.” Sigh.

29 Lisa Cash Hanson { 11.21.11 at 12:15 pm }

Hi I’m hooked up w icomments 😉 I would put David Conrad on the cover he was the leading man from Ghost Whisperer, he’s not my husbands favorite LOL

30 Detour { 11.21.11 at 3:36 pm }

I have to agree with other commenters that Bradley Cooper has a spot in my heart because of his Alias Will Tippin days. I’ll also vote for Javier Bardem and Ryan Gosling.

31 Michelle { 11.24.11 at 5:49 am }

Hugh Jackman, Hugh Jackman, Hugh Jackman – hot, hot, hot! And I love the way he’s so into his wife Debora-Lee, even though she not Hollywood-gorgeous and she’s older than him. Where is my Hugh Jackman??!!

And Javier Bardem in that first scene he appears in in Vicky Christina Barcelona – oh my!

32 Hevel Shir Cohen { 11.25.11 at 4:06 am }

Celebrity… either Harel Skaat or Ran Danker.

Non celebrity would be the love of my life Kevin!

33 Sarah { 11.28.11 at 10:03 am }

I know I am late to comment on this, but I just have to say that I am so confused with People’s last few choices. Like, Bradly Cooper and Ryan Reynolds?? REALLY??

If I had my vote, it would 100% be Ryan Gosling. But I must admit that my love for him stems from the fact that as soon as the Notebook came out total strangers started telling Nick how much he looks like him. Nick completely denies it (and he doesn’t look as much like him now as he used to) but it gives me this love for my husbands celebrity look alike 🙂

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