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365th Friday Blog Roundup

You are probably waiting for an email back from me.  I use the singular “you,” but it’s sort of like shooting fish in a barrel — there is a good chance that many dozens of people reading this are awaiting an email back from me.  I can explain: NaBloPoMo.

I thought I had things under control, but that is the thing about NaBloPoMo: it’s like the undertow that you can’t see, the one that sucks you out to sea where — if you were in a storybook — you would end up on a grand adventure featuring you, a raft made out of thousands of discarded Coke bottles, and a pelican named Sam.  And if you’re not in a storybook, you simply drown.

I am firmly in the not-in-a-storybook camp.

When BlogHer took over NaBloPoMo last spring, they handed the project to me.  There was a bit of an uphill learning curve, but I felt like I entered the trucking-along stage after a few weeks.  Then, the site completed its physical move on November 1st, a day when nearly 2000 bloggers signed up to participate in the month-long project.  Since last Friday, I have been uploading those thousands of blogs (and linking them) by hand.  I’ve been writing posts and featuring posts and syndicating posts.  Everything I eat has started to taste like NaBloPoMo.  And I’m like a pet owner, morphing into looking like NaBloPoMo.  And even worse, the kids have started to talk about NaBlo as if its an additional resident in our house (“Mum is cooking with NaBlo so she’s probably going to burn the crepes.” — for the record, I didn’t burn the crepes).

I know that November’s NaBloPoMo has an end point — it has to calm down soon, right?  I mean, I know the whole thing starts up again on December 1st and on January 1st and on February 1st.  But at some point, it will go back to a mild buzz instead of deafening sirens.



We’ve been watching The Parent Trap — the original one — which means that in addition to working on NaBloPoMo for a grotesque amount of hours each day, I’m speaking like Hayley Mills.  The twins are watching it in 20 minutes increments, so we go through movies at a painstaking slow pace.  I like to think of it as recreating the feeling of radio serials.  You know how you were left hanging until the next installment, imagining 1000 what ifs until you could find out what really happened?  The twins, by the way, agree with what you’re thinking right now — about how they should just get to watch the whole damn movie and not have things dragged out like this.

It is raising all sort of twin conversations, namely, would we ever separate them and send them to live on opposite coasts? (Wait?  What?  But I’m not divorcing your father.)  And why didn’t they get real twins to play the twins instead of making one girl pretend to be her own twin?  And why are people so weird about twins?  And how it feels to actually be a twin vs. playing one in a movie.

It’s interesting because since we started watching it, they have alternated between wanting to be close to one another (perhaps a little too close… perhaps the other person doesn’t actually want you in their lap…) and not wanting to be twins because it makes them different from all their singleton friends (and then wanting to be twins because it makes them different).

One night after watching their sliver of movie, I came into the ChickieNob’s room to check on her and saw a lump in her bed.  “Is there a child in there,” I asked, pointing at the blanket.  She pulled back the covers to reveal her brother’s beloved enormous black lab stuffed animal.

“Uh, does the Wolvog know you have that?” I asked, wondering how she stole something that large from his room without him noticing.

“He heard me crying because I miss him.  So he brought me his dog to hold because it reminds me of him when I miss him.”

And that, Hayley Mills is what you can’t replicate with acting.


We have had two more winners with the Creme de la Creme lucky spots (and more on their way for next week).

Jen from Here We Go Again claimed the glass jewelry donated by Battlefish (thank you, Battlefish!) and  Brooke from Becoming Parents claimed the mugs donated by First Time Twins (thank you, First Time Twins).  No, really really really — thank you.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

I didn’t read this Thursday post until last Friday, so I’m counting it with this week.  What IF? has a post about how we identify as well as when and where we choose to discuss infertility.  The post begins by pointing out a discrepancy between numbers and the number of people out: “Statistically, how likely is it that I’ve made it to my mid-30’s without having one friend or acquaintance that I know of who has undergone fertility treatments?”  You are going to love, love, love this post.  You can tell her so in the comment section.

A Fine Mess has a small and sad post called “Broken” about Halloween.  I know people often speak about Christmas and Mother’s Day as difficult holidays for infertiles, but truly, Halloween has to rank up there as third.  Listen to all that is contained in this single sentence: “I was planning to write a longer post, but I just don’t have it in me.”  It stuck with me a long time after reading it.

Lastly, The Hairy Farmer Family has an explanation for why she hasn’t been blogging.  It’s a never-ending cycle of not blogging, and then wanting to write, and then feeling as if there is too much ground to cover, so she doesn’t blog, but then she wants to write…  Okay, I’m a sucker for blogging about blogging, but what I really loved in this post was this: “I was, in fact, the elephant in the church, which is not something you often get to be.”

The roundup to the Roundup: I am drowning in the NaBloPoMo Sea.  Loving rewatching The Parent Trap.  More winners in the Creme de la Creme (please keep helping to spread the word).  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 28th and November 4th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.



1 Justine { 11.04.11 at 8:35 am }

I couldn’t bring myself to commit to NaBloPoMo. But it seems like all the cool kids have, so at least I’m commenting like there’s no tomorrow. 😉

And: we watch movies in increments here, too. We also have no TV. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when my kids hit elementary school … cruel, cruel parents that we are … 😉

2 Liana { 11.04.11 at 8:35 am }

slowmomma has a gorgeously sad and impactful post on putting her son in and taking him out of daycare. Motherhood in the Time of Separation: http://slowmamma.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/motherhood-in-the-time-of-separation/

Stumbling Gracefully and MissOhKay have tandem posts about what happens when online relationships get as complicated as in person relationships, and how feelings of exclusion and unpopularity permeate our lives and stick with us no matter how old we get. I’ll be amazed if almost everyone doesn’t relate. http://esperanzasays.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/blogotopia/ and http://missohkay.blogspot.com/2011/10/is-my-introvert-showing.html

3 Josh { 11.04.11 at 10:14 am }

Hey – Thanks for the link. I’m excited to discover your blog.

I enjoyed this LesbianDad post about Halloween costumes, younger kids’ gender expressions, and navigating the pressures to conform.

4 Trinity { 11.04.11 at 10:25 am }

I found myself quietly teary while reading this gorgeously touching first birthday post from baby, interrupted:


5 Eggs In A Row { 11.04.11 at 12:16 pm }

I love that movie! Even though I know that she isn’t a twin in real life, I can’t help but play along when I watch.

6 Kate { 11.04.11 at 3:31 pm }

I came here to say thanks for all the hard work your doing so we can play with words. I also loved the original parent trap and watched it tons of time and often wished for a twin. Bit of unsubstantiated trivia – twins appear super common in the MN, every 10th person I know is a twin, way different then NY, maybe that is a reason they named the baseball team ‘the twins’.

7 M { 11.04.11 at 10:36 pm }

Thanks for finding me! I’ve found Halloween to be the hardest holiday of all during IF.

8 WhatIF? { 11.04.11 at 11:17 pm }

Thanks for recommending my post! I started my blog because sometimes I felt like it was just me and my pee-stick, all alone out there in the great big world of IF. How amazing to find out I’m actually at a giant party (full of the nicest, most supportive guests ever).

I’ve just started reading the many blogs featured on this site. So excited to keep discovering everyone’s amazing stories.

9 Lori Lavender Luz { 11.04.11 at 11:22 pm }

I love the original Parent Trap. I had never thought that having twins watching a show about twins would bring up all sorts of wonderings.

The story on the Wolvog’s black lab is so sweet. My heart melted.

I hope things loosen up for you soon :-).

10 Just Another Tired Mommy { 11.05.11 at 2:59 pm }

The original Parent Trap is one of my favorites…LOVE Hayley Mills and…Hayley Mills…and I love to hear of your twins’ reactions to the film!

11 NotTheMama { 11.05.11 at 10:09 pm }

When I was younger, I was told I looked like Haley Mills.
Was it you who posted about the motorcycle vs deer a while back? Have I got a story for you!

12 Bea { 11.07.11 at 8:09 am }

But you didn’t tell us *why* they are watching it in 20 minute increments? (Unless it was obvious to everyone else?)

I read something about a sort of food-stamps approach to organ/tissue donation in the paper the other day and thought of you. The incentive is something like discounted license fees for signing up or payment of funeral expenses. I know the discussion was a while ago now, but I had to bring it up again (and completely out of context, too!)


13 loribeth { 11.07.11 at 6:49 pm }

The original Parent Trap with Hayley Mills is one of my all-time favourite movies. I saw it at the theatre when I was about 7 (in re-release, I guess) & many time since then on TV, & I now own the DVD. The remake isn’t bad, but it makes me sad, seeing what a cute kid Lindsay Lohan was & thinking of what she’s become since then. It also has sad connotations for me, as my mom & I went to see it as a “distraction” in the first few weeks after I lost Katie.

14 Keiko { 11.08.11 at 2:33 pm }

A wonderfully empowering post for Love Your Body Day, from This Is More Personal. Tips for coping with loving your body in the wake of infertility with a bonus empowerment Love Your Body mix tape!

We get a rare treat to hear a blogger read her own words. Kathy from Four of a Kind reads her post Grace and the Odds for the Spoken Word Blog Roundup.
Lav Luv’s Out of Proportion Sad really moved me as she remembers a high school acquaintance, the first birth mother she ever knew.

And I absolutely loved your Worst Parents Ever post 🙂 That deserves total props.

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