Posts from — October 2011

We recently went to Disney World for 9 days.  9 blissful days where our hardest decisions were whether to wait in a 25 minute line for Pirates of the Caribbean or come back later, or how many times in a row to ride Kali River Rapids.  We barely slept, we ate like crap, and we didn’t do one equation from the math packets we brought along in their backpacks.

Josh was a little hesitant to go back to Disney so soon after the first trip, but I feel like we’re really rounding on the end of their suspension of disbelief.  I know I said that last post, but this time I really really mean it (if you say “really” twice, it means you’re super serious).

It is addictive to see someone fully engaged with their imagination — believing in all possibilities.  That is why we fork over thousands of dollars to Disney, isn’t it?  Because it becomes like a drug watching our children (and frankly, ourselves) believe in fairies and wishes coming true and the idea that we too will visit the moon one day.

I have been in a deep funk since returning.  Funk actually doesn’t really cover it.  I am down.  I feel like I’m going through withdrawal.  I don’t feel motivated to do anything.  I spend most of my time looking at our photos and watching the movies we made.  I am irritable.  I had infinite wells of patience while at the park, but I’m snapping at everyone at home.  I don’t want to talk to anyone.

It is entirely connected to that space because I don’t feel this way when I return from other trips.  I come home from other travels feeling happy that I went but also happy to be back.  And when I return from Disney, I go through many weeks of being down.  I imagine it is similar to how Harry Potter felt when he left Hogwarts for the summer and had to return to the Dursleys, where life was dull in comparison.  It is hard to know that a magical place exists and you’re no longer there.

Because yes, I have bought into Disney hook, line, and sinker.

If nothing else because it’s a place where people believe in things once again.  You can’t help but get caught up in the message that dreams come true; have it sink into your skin.  Every cynical cell in my body disappeared while we were there, and I was overcome with emotion staring at that big white castle and what it represents.  I hugged each character, burying my face in Mickey’s shoulder.  For 9 straight days, I really believed in magic.  And making wishes.  And drank in every last drop of hope.

So you can see why it’s hard to be home.

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I collected a few stories from our trip in Aesop fable fashion, things we learned along the way.  Which seemed like a more palatable way to shove our family stories and pictures down your throat.  I completely understand if you need to stop reading now, but you will miss out on hearing the Wolvog mourn Steve Jobs through an animatronic Steve Jobs or the ChickieNob’s anxiety about the depth of Mickey’s love.  Just sayin’.

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The Wolvog is not the most adventurous child.  We refer to ourselves as the Milds (whereas Josh and the ChickieNob are the Wilds, loving roller coasters, loud noises, and speed).  The last time we went to Disney World, there were more rides he wouldn’t go on than ones that he would.  We spent a lot of time on the People Mover in Tomorrowland while Josh took the ChickieNob on everything else.  On one hand, the boy likes the People Mover and I think he should follow his bliss (I’d also put the People Mover as one of my top ten rides).  On the other hand, it is very frustrating to see him limit himself as well as impede the family from doing things together.

This trip, our friend gave us the brilliant idea to get him sound-blocking headphones since 90% of his fears are tied to sound.  My parents found him a child-size headset, and he wore it around the park.  It gave him the courage to try rides that he had inexplicably bypassed two years earlier.  He ended up loving Snow White, Peter Pan, and the tea cups.  Soarin’ became his new favourite ride.  He got to enjoy the fireworks and even watched every 3-D movie, which are usually his worst fear.

Of course, it also got him noticed.  People stared when he slipped them on (it also didn’t help when he rode Kali River Rapids wearing goggles).  They commented on them, as if headphones were the equivalent of entwining snakes through your hair.  We told him to just ignore the stares; that they didn’t get it.  So he did just that, putting them on whenever he felt he needed them and leaving them in the bag whenever he could.

Sometimes all you need is a security headset to get you over your fears.

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At the same time, I needed to practice what I preached.  I was so busy trying to convince the Wolvog to try things that I missed the fact that I was also limiting myself at the parks.  I knew I didn’t have it in me to try things such as Space Mountain or Expedition Everest.  But milder rides such as Mission Space and Soarin’ were probably totally do-able, though I was too scared to try them.

I told Josh that I needed to get over my fears.  I didn’t sleep the night before we went to Epcot for the first time.  I was literally physically ill as we went to the park, completely overwhelmed with the idea of getting on these rides and equally overwhelmed with how I’d feel about myself if I didn’t try them.

The first one we went on was Mission Space, and yes, I spoke to about twelve employees before we went on the ride (the green, milder version).  I was panicking each time they mentioned that we could still back out of the mission, though the ride operator promised me that it was referring to the orange, wilder version.  That the green version was completely tame and if I got scared, I could close my eyes and be essentially transported off the ride.

WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A COMPLETE LIE.

The ride was awful.  The twins and I screamed through the whole thing; and we all had our eyes closed through the majority of it.  I hated the sensation of being tilted back and forth inside the simulator.  When I got off, I felt ill from being so tense for four minutes.  And now I really didn’t want to try Soarin’ because it also was a movement simulator.  But the rest of the family kept trying to convince me to stick to the plan and try it.

And, oh my G-d, it was the most amazing experience.

I’ll admit that I squinted my eyes a lot that first time riding it, but we ended up going on it four more times.  It turned into our favourite ride, and I cried the last time we went on knowing it would be years before I got to ride it again.  I can’t believe I almost missed out on it.

Don’t let your fears limit you or you could miss out on an amazing experience.

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On our last night, nearing on 11 pm, the ChickieNob realized that she hadn’t met Tinkerbell yet.  We were about to get on our final ride; we were exhausted, going on our 14th hour in the park (on our 7th day there!) but we asked the ride operator if she thought Tinkerbell might still be hanging out in Adventureland.  She was doubtful, but we grabbed the twins’ hands and ran from “It’s a Small World” all the way to Adventureland in the dark.  When we got there, the pale blue doors to Pixie Hollow were locked.

The ChickieNob, of course, cried.  We stood there for a bit, trying to gather up the energy for the return trip to our final ride.  Behind us, an employee was using the tip of his mop and a bucket of cleaning solution to draw the most amazing free-hand Mickey and Donald on the pavement.  It wasn’t a planned event; just a man paused from his cleaning duties, entertaining us with his talent.  We watched him step around the concrete, his broom a paint brush, bringing Mickey to life until the water evaporated.

Sometimes if you’re only focused on the magic you’re seeking, you miss all the other magic happening around you.

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Okay, this is getting awfully long, so more Aesop-like fables from Disney World coming in a second post.  Please indulge me.  I took 400 photographs, and I have to put these pictures and stories somewhere.

I spent the morning at a pumpkin patch, traveling over the mud-soaked roads on a tractor bed with straw bale seats.  It felt like the quintessential American experience.

I am going to be Bellatrix LeStrange for Halloween.  The twins are going as Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, so my costume doesn’t quite fit with the theme (um… why would Bellatrix be taking the Chosen One trick-or-treating?).  I wanted to be Professor McGonagall, but what was I to do with my mass of brown curls?  The kids are also still on Book Two, so they only know Bellatrix LeStrange as Draco’s aunt, therefore, I have to bite my tongue and not scream out her most famous line lest I ruin Book Three.

What are you going to be for Halloween?  And if you’re not dressing up this year, what was your best costume ever?

* Warning: this post contains a spoiler for Kazuo Ishiguro’s 2005 book, Never Let Me Go.  I’m not sure what the shelf-life is on spoilers.  I mean, if you haven’t read the book in six years, isn’t it your own damn fault if it’s ruined slightly for you?

Amit Gupta of Photojojo was diagnosed recently with Leukemia.  People immediately started using social media in order to find him a bone marrow match, the difficulty being that bone marrow needs a very close match (unlike donating blood), the best bet coming from either a family member or someone within your community.  Because Gupta is of South Asian descent, a community that has a smaller representation on the National Bone Marrow Registry, it is even more important to get additional people to agree to be swabbed and checked for a match.

In order to entice people to donate, Seth Godin (the Internet guru) offered to give $10,000 to anyone who became a match and donated to Gupta.  Michael Galpert matched that, raising the amount to $20,000.  But financial compensation for organs or tissue is illegal under the National Organ Transplant Act.

With $20,000 at stake, the cause did indeed take on new urgency. Instead of just passing on news that Gupta needed help, people started bragging #IswabbedforAmit on Twitter. The money also made for a sexier news story. The website TechCrunch drove new waves of interest with an article headlined, “#IswabbedforAmit Offers Up 20K To Find A Bone Marrow Donor For Startup Founder Amit Gupta.”

There was only one problem. The offer was illegal.

Under the National Organ Transplant Act of 1984, better known as NOTA, it’s a federal crime to give or receive “valuable consideration” for any transplantable organ or tissue, specifically including bone marrow. (Expenses incurred in making a donation, including not only medical costs but also travel and lost wages, are exempt.)

On one hand, you can see why the law was passed: everyone should be on equal footing with receiving tissues and organs.  But you can’t fault Godin’s reasoning because he’s absolutely correct — money moves people:

So he [Seth Godin] wrote a post on his own blog offering to pay $10,000 to anyone who became a match for Gupta and made the stem-cell donation, or to give the money to that person’s favorite charity. The offer, he says, was “a chance to say to my readers, ‘Hey, I care about this. A lot. Money where my mouth is.’”

He picked $10,000 because, he says, it’s “enough money to matter to both the giver and the recipient, without being enough money to sue over, cheat over or corrupt.”

People are working to overturn this law as it applies to bone marrow donation, placing it in the same category as blood or gametes — both of which can be compensated.  And people need to remember that other people will be helped by this along with Gupta.  As more people register to be a bone marrow donor, other people who are searching for a match will have a larger pool from which to find a bone marrow donor.

People get squeamish when we think about donation.  I have to admit that I am guilty of delaying some necessary oral surgery for a year because I couldn’t decide how I felt about using donor tissue (in the end, I opted for donor tissue which has a faster recovery period, and yes, I still crave clementines even though I never ate them prior to the surgery — isn’t that bizarre?).  As much as I would use donor eggs myself, it’s not as easy or quick an answer as to whether I’d be someone else’s egg donor.

There was something beautiful in its awfulness within the situation of Never Let Me Go, where people were being raised to be donors.  The book is about specially-produced children being given this amazing life filled with beauty and art, with the intention of harvesting all their organs in young adulthood.  They are mindful of their purpose, and while a few are scared, most understand it is their lot in life.  While it’s obviously barbaric to create people solely to harvest their organs, what gave me pause was more the idea of knowing when and how you would die, and making people live with that knowledge their entire life.  It wasn’t the organ donation itself.  I couldn’t stop tossing around in my mind what was worse: having a beyond fantastic life up until young adulthood and then dying, or having a terrible life full of struggle all the way through old age but getting to live a long life.  Is it quality or quantity?

And how do we encourage people to become donors if we’re not going to create a Never Let Me Go situation?  Because we need organ donors and tissue donors.  We need blood donors, and this community is very familiar with our need for gamete donors.  Pure altruism doesn’t work; we’ve already seen that we can’t get people motivated to donate just by asking them to donate.

I am pro-financial incentives when it comes to all bodily donation — though I think that the financial compensation should come from specially created philanthropies that fund-raise and provide the compensation rather than individuals in need (or their friends).  Think of these organizations in the same way we look at political organizations that are established to get a person into office.  Instead, these organizations would be established to get people to donate — they would gather the money to compensate donors, raise awareness, hold registry drives.

Donations are, by their very definition, gifts without compensation. I fully agree with anyone who argues that donors who receive compensation are not donors by definition; though I also argue that donor is an antiquated word that no longer holds meaning in our society. Political donors give money with gain both tangible and intangible in mind from access to positions within an administration to simply having your desired party in place when policy is being decided. Philanthropic donors gets a building named after them after they cough up a ten million dollar check. It’s not that there aren’t people out there doing something for nothing, but most people want recognition of their gift, if not financial compensation.

If it helps, we can rename bodily donors “organ/tissue/blood product/gamete suppliers” instead.

The United Kingdom, by the way, recently tripled the amount that egg donors could receive in order to provide incentive for women to donate.  The money is not payment but instead is compensation for the risk and time lost by donating.  Is it all in the way we phrase things?  Can we find things palatable if we just tweak the language?

What about the yuckiness of feeling as if life is being bought or sold? Frankly, there is plenty of yuckiness in the world that we’ll need to discuss in addition to this topic such as the fact that our medical system is a for-profit system, benefiting off the health woes of society. That our pharmaceutical companies do not make drugs out of the goodness of their hearts, but to turn a profit. Our medical system in and of itself is not noble when you start looking at places where people profit off of other people’s misery.

What about the fear that people will be exploited?  That the poor will be driven to donate in order to make money while the rich will never need to part with any of their bodily fluids or organs. I think it demeans the intelligence of people and our ability to make choices. If I need money, there are a multitude of ways I can make money beyond going through rigorous testing, injections, and painful surgical procedures. Bodily donation is certainly not a quick buck. I think that if we looked at who has been moved to sign up to be a bone marrow donor due to Godin’s (and others) financial incentive, we wouldn’t be looking at the most impoverished slice of America.  We’d be seeing, in fact, a lot of people who have access to computers and are invested in the Internet.

Organ donation as well as the bone marrow registry and blood banks suffer greatly from the lack of financial compensation, and I think with the exception of an altruistic few, these programs only exist as well as they do because people are willing to donate when a life is at stake. It may be driven by fear of their own loss or a sense of guilt knowing that they had the ability to save someone.  Is it more ethical to have our donation system driven by fear and desperation than financial incentives?

Gupta’s friends have got around the law by offering now a $30,000 reward simply for a match.  The person doesn’t need to actually go through with the donation — they will receive the money just by being a match.  This money will get hundreds or thousands (or possibly tens of thousands) of extra people to agree to be bone marrow donors.  Other people will be helped because of Gupta’s plight too, finding their own match in this now larger pool of people.  Which begs the question: is this really ethically wrong?  And what is ethically wrong about financial incentives when it comes to donating body parts (as long as the playing field does not become skewed towards the rich having more access to donors, which doesn’t happen in this case).

Would you be more willing to donate an organ, tissue, blood product, or gametes if there was a financial incentive?  Would you be less likely to do so if you knew that you’d be financially compensated simply for giving up non-essential organs, tissue, blood or gametes?

The Creme de la Creme list burst open with dozens of entries within the first hour.  Last year, on the first day, we had 27 entries.  This year, we had that within the first few hours.  I have high hopes for hitting 400+ posts.  I want to thank everyone who has already spread word about the list via Twitter, Facebook, and blog posts.  Thank you to everyone who Stumbled it.  Because the list is closing early this year, if we don’t spread word now, many people who only find out about the Creme when the list goes up in January will miss out.

The first prize has also been given out.  Mommy Odyssey hit the current 18th slot on the list (since people will be shifted back to make room for the new people in the 2nd, 4th, and 6th slot.  Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Read the Creme de la Creme post).  She has won the $100 Amazon gift card provide by Attain Fertility (thank you, Attain!).  Slot #36 will be contacted soon.

For everyone who thinks they don’t have a “best” post this year, I challenge you with this.  Are you completely willing to delete your blog?  Every single last post from 2011?  No?  Then you technically have one you can submit.  It’s the one you’d save if you could keep just one.  It may not be spectacular.  It may just be an update on your lining thickness.  But it means something to you.  And therefore, it means something to us.

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We will be having the Grateful Said, and that will launch within the next week or so.  So go look for good comments — again, don’t get hung up on the word “best” but instead think about a particularly nice comment that came exactly when you needed it.  Personally, I am looking for what was a difficult post to write and publicly thanking the first person who commented since they set my heart at ease.

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The twins are working on an autobiography project at school.  They need to bring in a baby picture and a current picture to kick off the book.  Printing out a current picture was easy — I went into the computer and grabbed one of each from a hiking trip we took this summer.  The baby picture wasn’t quite as easy.  I started with actual baby pictures, and then I started to get worried that the other kids in the class would (1) be freaked out to see a two pound baby covered in wires and tubing or (2) that the twins would be made fun of because they had been two pound babies covered in wires and tubing.  So I skipped forward a few months to when they had some meat on their bones, but that felt false, as if I was editing history.  They were two pound babies; why should we pretend otherwise?  So I went back to the earlier pictures in the NICU and started the whole internal monologue several more times.

I finally went with some pictures from when they were 5 months.

Even though I think there is a lot of beauty in this:

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Time” (This Was Supposed to be My Symphony)
• “The Legacy of an Adopted Child” (I Believe in Miracles)
• “My Son Processes a New Layer of His Adoptedness” (Write Mind Open Heart)
• “Notes from a Dragon Mom” (NY Times)

Okay, now my choices this week.

It Is What It Is (Or Is It?) has a difficult to read post this week about being abandoned for the second time by her mother.  I was drawn to this post for the sheer rawness; the eloquence of her explanation.  And I love this point: “Yet, I am still standing. And, as things come to a head and the crazy swirls around me, I wonder how that is possible. I credit the many friends in my chosen family who mentored me and ushered me through the toughest years.”

Getting There also had a difficult post about death, namely, the fact that death is part of her child’s adoption story.  She explains, “I’ve promised my boy that he is with us forever – and that’s a promise for a two year old. But at some point in the future my boy is going to realise that forever isn’t going to happen. If his birth father can die, doesn’t that mean that his mummy and daddy might die?”  The ending of the post is moving, and you’re forewarned that you should bring Kleenex to read it.

Lastly, ending on a happy note, A Half Baked Life has a post that asks an excellent question: when was the last time you treated yourself as the honoured guest?  My internal answer was… pretty much never.  Which begs the question: why don’t a bake a freakin’ cake for myself, declare myself important enough to warrant the same treatment I give my guests?  It’s a great post about being compassionate to yourself with a recipe to boot.

The roundup to the Roundup: The Creme de la Creme is off to a great start (and please keep spreading the word).  The Grateful Said will kick off soon.  A glimpse into my internal monologue over a school project.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 14th and October 21st) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

It is the sixth anniversary of the little Creme de la Creme.  364 bloggers participated last year.  I’d love that number to jump past 400 this year.  If this is your first time hearing about the project, this post should tell you everything you need to know.   If you’ve participated in years past, you know how much fun the list is when its revealed on January 1st. So, I hereby declare the 2011 Creme de la Creme list open.

I know this is loooooong, but please read this whole post before submitting your entry. Every year, the rules change slightly in order to streamline the process.

If you didn’t read or participate in this list in 2006 or in 2007 or in 2008 or in 2009 or in 2010, the impulse behind this list are the ubiquitous award ceremonies that crawl out of their hiding spaces usually around December or January. Awards are nice — it’s good to honour someone and mark big accomplishments. But we all have a best post tucked into our archives. We all have words that have moved another person or ideas that have kicked off a series of musings. Bloggers are writers, and all of us deserve to be celebrated.

And we’re doing just that.

This is the way it works. If you want to participate, read through your archives from 2011 and choose a favourite post. You can leave all sorts of comments below telling me how fantastic I am, but fill out the form to send in your submission (do not leave it in the comments section–the point of this list is also the surprise of seeing the choices revealed on a single day). If you post your link below, I will delete it. Again, feel free to leave love comments below — in fact, please do leave love comments below — but not your submission for the list. Let’s keep it a surprise until the list is ready to go up.

You can only choose one entry. You cannot be modest. Everyone has a best post. There is no such thing as a boring blog. Even if you don’t think you have any readers because you’ve never received a comment, you have a best post. The one that you felt really good about when you hit publish. The one that would be the post you’d put forward if an editor called you tomorrow and said, “I have this great writing job for you that will pay a million dollars an hour. You just need to submit one blog entry to get this job so we can check your writing style.”

Even if you just found my blog because you read about the Creme de la Creme on another person’s blog, you are not only welcome to submit; you are encouraged. It is the best posts of 2011 for the ALI community and that community includes anyone who writes about infertility, adoption, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, assisted reproduction, pregnancy after infertility or loss, and every related topic — from living child-free after infertility to parenting after infertility. Everyone on the blogroll (or could be on the blogroll) is welcome to participate. Really, you don’t need to be a regular reader of my blog to join in. It’s open to everyone in the ALI blogosphere. I can’t say this in more ways than that. Which means you don’t need to write me a note asking if it’s okay to participate. The answer is yes. Okay?

Actually, it’s not only “yes;” it’s “please do.”

The list will be posted January 1st, and I promise that you will use up a good portion of the beginning of the year reading through the most stunning posts you’ve ever seen. We had 364 posts last year, and I’d really like to top that this year. My goal is all 3000 blogs currently on the blogroll, but barring that, let’s aim for over 400. Which means that not only do you have to participate if you’re reading this, but you need to spread the word and get other bloggers to participate (more on that below). Link to this post, send out a note to other bloggers you like, and suggest favourite posts to bloggers from this past year.

Um…other FAQ-like things:

How many posts can I submit?

You can only submit one. Please don’t submit two and ask me to choose. Submit one.

How will I know that you received my entry?

When you hit submit on the form, you should get a screen telling you that I have my entry. If you don’t see that screen, I don’t have your entry.

I sent in a post last week but I just wrote one that I love more! Can I switch my submission?

The short answer is no. The reason is that I write up the blurbs that appear next to each entry. This takes a lot of time. When you change your post, I have to write another blurb. Therefore, think carefully. But get your post in early so it’s high up on the list. But take your time picking it so you’re positive it’s the one you want on the list. But don’t give this too much thought…

If you just submitted it an hour earlier and realized you sent the wrong link, email me quickly so I can change it. Once I write the blurb, it’s set. I mean, you can pull your blog from the list, but you can’t submit a different link.

How do I know which one is my best?

Think of this list in sort of the same vein as those “Best American Short Story”-type collections except that it’s blog entries and everyone in the blogosphere should be represented with a link. The idea of the creme de la creme is not to put out there “the best” by someone else’s definition of “best.” It’s to put out the entry that means the most to you. Everyone has a best entry from 2011. It’s the one you would cry about if it was ever eaten by your computer. Even if it’s only meaningful to you.

I’m having a lot of trouble choosing my best one.

Why don’t you give a few choices to a friend and get their opinion? Don’t get hung up on the word “best.” It’s more about presenting a small taste of your blog. A lot of people read the list each January and it’s a chance for them to get to know your blog in one post. The goal, of course, is not only to honour every blog, but to also introduce everyone. Think of it like a cocktail party. You certainly think about what you wear, but everything doesn’t hinge on this one outfit.

I want to submit a post about my dog/favourite recipe/vacation in Hawaii. So … er … it’s not about adoption/infertility/loss. Can I? Or I want to submit a post but it has pictures of my baby in it. Do you think this is okay for an IF list?

Well, this list is sort of a pu-pu platter of the ALI community. Therefore, if your post is about your ski trip last winter, it doesn’t really show any emotion, thought, or event flitting through the community. Still, people have submitted off-topic posts in the past. If you have any part of the post that if ALI-related, all the better though.

The second question is a sensitivity one. Personally, I think that babies are part of the community and territory. The reality is that we’re all working towards parenthood or were once working towards parenthood. And children are included in that. I try to always mention in my blurb if it’s about a baby or if there are photos so people are given a heads up before they click over. So, yes, send posts that have photos in it and I will make sure that people know the gist of the post before they click over if they’re in a sensitive space.

I’m a man. Can I participate?

Are you part of the ALI community? Then didn’t you read above? EVERYONE is invited to participate. Male, female, young, old, married, single, gay, straight, everyone everyone everyone.

I’m a golden retriever. Can I participate?

Er … a golden retriever with a blog? An infertile golden retriever with a blog? I guess … I mean … I did say everyone …

I just started my blog in October. Can I participate?

As long as you’ve had one post in 2011, you can participate. Even if you didn’t start your blog until October 2011. Just choose your best from the last two months.

My blog is password protected. Can I participate?

If your blog is password protected and you want to participate, choose your blog entry and create a free blog at Blogger or WordPress and post that single entry. Then send me the link so I can place it on the list. I can’t link to password protected blogs.

When is the deadline for getting in my submission (and this has changed since last year so pay attention)?

To ensure that you’re on the list on January 1st, please fill out the form by December 15th. If you submit after December 15, you will be on the list, but you will probably go up after people have started reading on January 1st.

The 2011 list doesn’t technically close until January 5, 2011. Therefore, if it is after January 1st and the list is already up, you can still submit as long as it is before 11 pm EST on January 5, 2011. After that point, the list will be close to new entries and I’ll be working to get up the last remaining few.

So, just to reiterate — (1) if you submit before December 15th, you will be on the list on January 1st. (2) If you submit between December 16th and 31st, you may be on the list January 1st, but more likely, you’ll be on some point after January 1st. (3) If you submit between January 1st and 5th, you’ll go up on the list as soon as possible. And then the list is closed until next year when the new one opens.

What about those prizes and special spaces on the list thing you were mentioning a few weeks back?

We have 18 prizes.  The 18 slots that will get to pick from the pool of 18 prizes are 36, 54, 72, 90, 108, 126, 144, 162, 180, 198, 216, 234, 252, 270 288, 306, and 324.  Also the person in the 18th slot on the list will receive a $100 gift card to Amazon from Attain Fertility.  An enormous thank you to all of the prize submitters.

1. Babylegs (Here We Go Again)
2. A curated list of 10-20 good book suggestions (for an adult or child) based on reading preferences, mood, etc. I’d throw in a copy of a book or two that ends up on the list as well (I Lost a World)
3. My Hopeful Journey — a web organizer for treatments (My Hopeful Journey)
4. Mugs (First Time Twins)
5. Israeli chocolate (Mommy Odyssey)
6. $10 Starbucks gift card (Are You Kidding Me?)
7. Personalized notecards (PB Creations by Virtue75)
8. Custom-made scrapbooking banner (Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker)
9. Glass jewelry (Battlefish)
10. 3 phone charms (Battlefish)
11. 2 bookmarks (Battlefish)
12. A handpainted mizuko jizo watercolour (Still Life with Circles)
13. A cigar box purse. One of a kind design (Denver Laura)
14. Handmade crocheted scarf (CD1 Again)
15. 6 digital scrapbooking pages (Tears are for Babies)
16. 1 adoption profile review (Profiles that Get Picked)
17. Crocheted afghan (Wistful Girl’s World)
18. Watercolour (Jess Rowe Art)

• Lucky Spot Prize (for spot #18): $100 Amazon gift card from Attain Fertility.

This is how it works.  If you fall on one of the prize slots, I will email you with a link to the list of prizes.  As prizes are claimed, they’ll be removed from that list.  You can choose any item off the list, and I’ll connect you with the prize giver so you can arrange for the delivery of the prize.  The first person (#36) will have their pick of all prizes.  The last person (#324) will get the remaining prize.

What about how you said that you were holding a few spaces near the top of the list…

Yes, some prime real estate is being held for three bloggers: slot 2, 4, and 6.  The second slot will go to the winner of the upcoming commenting contest (more news on that in the next few weeks).  Slot 4 is being held for a random IComLeavWe’er from November.  And slot 6 is being held for a random IComLeavWe’er from December.  Add your post regardless — don’t wait — because I will move you into that slot in the future if you win one of them.  Of course, it may end up that someone wins a prize because they’re in a prize slot and then moves into one of those top slots because they won that random contest, but I think we should all just marvel at their insane luck rather than grumble about them.

Can you post another link to the form right now because I’ve decided to submit.

Sure, here’s another link to the form. Just fill it out and hit send and it will go into the Creme de la Creme spreadsheet.

If you don’t want to participate, do nothing. With the Creme de la Creme List, I never add a blog or highlight a post unless the author has sent it to me. Therefore, no hurt feelings. If your post isn’t on the list, it’s because you haven’t sent one. If you see someone missing from the list after it is posted, go bug them and tell them to submit a post. But don’t send me a note asking me to add them without their permission. I really would like this post to be what the author believes is their best post, but if you are feeling shy and can’t choose, enlist a friend to help you narrow it down and choose your best work.

Lastly, there is another section of the list that needs your help: blogs that closed in 2011. These are blogs that closed entirely — the person stopped blogging and said specifically that they were not going to post any longer — not blogs that went password protected or the person moved their blog to a new space. If you read a blog that closed during 2011, please send me the title of the blog. It doesn’t matter if it was read by one person or read by 5000 people, all blogs should be honoured and recognized. And all blogs stand on the same plateau here.

Spread the word with the following button on a post or your sidebar to encourage others to send a link:

The code for adding the link to your blog can be found here.  You can also use the social media buttons at the bottom of the post.

Everyone has a best post. It is your personal best. It is not best by any other standard. Stop comparing yourself. Stop feeling shy. Stop thinking it’s immodest to toot your own horn when I’ve told you to toot your own horn. Start reading through your archives. Reflect on the year. And then send me a link for the list.

Wheew. Sorry about that last part. But everyone in the blogosphere should be represented and honoured.