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Drink Anyone?

It has been over 6 months since the bar was last open.  I didn’t intend for it to get this dusty (all the drink glasses needed to be rewashed) nor to have spider webs spun in the dark corners of the room.

But sometimes places need to close for a bit.

But just as much as it felt right to have the virtual bar closed during the winter and spring (or summer and fall for those in the Southern Hemisphere), it equally feels right to throw open the doors again.  To take a figurative rag to the counter and arrange the bar stools.

So come sit down and fill all of us in on what has been new in your life since last December.  Or if you prefer, what is currently happening in your life this month.

As always, it has been over six months since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog — gasp! — you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.


1 Blanche { 07.10.11 at 8:13 am }

I’m in the mood to celebrate, so break out the bubbly! My Little One, who not only stuck around after a canceled IVF cycle, but who decided to make her arrival after only 33.5 weeks of gestation turns ONE today.

Oh, and if you’ve got a pot of strong coffee handy, I’ll take a cup of that too please.

2 HereWeGoAJen { 07.10.11 at 9:02 am }

Good grief, a lot has happened since then. I had a baby die in my second trimester and gave birth to him. That sucked a lot. We’ve found more of a new normal, but I’ll still take a stiff drink.

3 Patience { 07.10.11 at 9:42 am }

It’s been a crazy few months here. I could sit at the bar for a few days I think! 🙂

I’ve been stuck in beta/miscarriage he!! since May. And to top it all off, this was a surprise pregnancy out of the blue after more than 10 years of treatment and while we were ready to take our adoption profile live. I just haven’t felt that I could go “live” with our adoption profile while still waiting for our HCG to finally hit the negative mark. It’s been 8 weeks, and I was still at 6 last week. Hoping with everything that I’ve got that it will be negative this week.

And then we need to make the tough call.. did we walk away from treatment too soon? (as if 10 years really is too soon…!)

4 Rebecca { 07.10.11 at 9:48 am }

I just got my period for the first time in 3 months…. it’s going to be heavy….

5 Christa { 07.10.11 at 9:57 am }

Hooray for the Lushary! I’ll have the usual chocolate martini. After our 4th failed ART cycle we’re finally moving forward with domestic adoption and feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the paperwork that comes with it. Hopefully if we just chip away a little at a time it won’t seem so daunting. Right now we’re trying to do a major spring cleaning of the house. Has anyone else found that getting your husband to clean like this is like getting a teenager to do the same? GEEZ!!!

6 Katie { 07.10.11 at 10:18 am }

Since December? Started numerous tests for male infertility, waited for 5 months for my cycle, found out we naturally conceived than lost the baby 2 days later. We are only 3 weeks out from the miscarriage and things still suck. Also found out friends of ours were only a few weeks ahead of us in their pregnancy so now I’m trying not to but avoiding them anyway. Sometimes I just need someone to tell me things will get better.

7 Queenie { 07.10.11 at 10:50 am }

Katie, no matter what happens on your path to a family, it will get better. The earliest days were the worst for me–because I never expected it, that made it so much harder when I had my first miscarriage. There are lots of ups and downs, but nothing was ever as bad as those early months.

8 Meg { 07.10.11 at 11:04 am }

Yay, my first night out at the virtual bar!
We’re about to start our first round of IVF w/ICSI. I’m excited and scared and trying not to think about it until I have to call the RE with my period. I was reading a blog post the other day about waiting, and how this part is more of an empty wait than a wait-full-of-hope; so I’m trying to fill it with lots of distracting stuff. Sewing, raising chickens for the first time, being outside now that we finally have summery weather (Oregon springs have been maddeningly long and cold and wet the past few years)… most of the time it’s distracting enough. I know some of what to expect from reading posts here and that sort of thing, but because I don’t know EXACTLY what will happen in my unique protocol and I don’t know EXACTLY whether any of this will even work, I… well, I have to keep pushing that niggling panic down. Even better: let’s fast-forward to September.

9 Cherish { 07.10.11 at 11:22 am }

I’d like a cream soda, please!

Kinda on hold over here…finished all allowed Clomid cycles and my first IUI and everything failed. Not feeling good about Femara. Had a little chat with God and he said it’s not time yet. In my online buddy group, I’m the only one remaining with no success. I’m thrilled for my friend who just got preggo via IVF but I hate feeling like the only one still TTC, and some are even on baby #2. I’m trying to forget that TTC even exists.

10 Lacie { 07.10.11 at 11:29 am }

It seems that there is a lot to celebrate and a lot to piss on here, at the bar. So, make mine a Grey Goose martini. Extra dirty. Up. Seeing how it’s only 11:30 am around these parts, I am starting my Sunday off right. Good thing I am, because I am staring down the barrel of a really intense week of grad school.

After going through three failed FET cycles in less than a year, we were finally pregnant with TWINS! We had been trying for seven years when we found out we were expecting. We had adopted our snowflake babies because I have the eggs of an old lady. Sadly, our twins’ tiny hearts stopped beating nine weeks into the pregnancy. I have been in the healing process since February and there have been ups and downs. I will have my next FET either around August 31st, give or take. My birthday is 8/24, my eleventh wedding anniversary is on 9/9. I am utterly excited and terrified.

11 Tigger { 07.10.11 at 12:30 pm }

Perfect timing, Mel! I just received my second AF since Colson’s birth and it’s a bitch this time around. So…since December…I’ve had my son, came to terms with not breastfeeding since it wasn’t an option, and start school in August. Aforementioned son is starting to teethe and driving his mommy crazy with the whining, and the mommy is trying hard not to get frustrated and failing miserably.

The 4th of July marked one year since I conceived Colson and…wow, things have just changed since a year ago. It’s been an interesting few weeks of introspection.

12 Chickenpig { 07.10.11 at 12:34 pm }

Whew. From the looks of things we really needed the bar open. I would like to buy a round for all the ladies who have…shall we say…have had better days/weeks/months ? I wouldn’t mind something stiff and summery…a really good margarita would do.

I am currently taking Lup.ron and awaiting day 1 of a FET. I don’t hold much hopes for it ending in a pregnancy, let alone a baby. That isn’t to say I don’t really, really, really want it to work, I just don’t expect it to. It is an unusually freeing experience so far.

13 loribeth { 07.10.11 at 1:14 pm }

Yay, the Lushary is open!! I have missed it! : ) Make it a pitcher of margaritas & I’ll share with Chickenpig. ; )

I could use a drink. The last six months have been, ummm, challenging, especially at the office. I was only just getting used to my new manager, who started around this time last year. She quit in March. My new manager arrived at the end of May, and we also have a new director & new VP. And we’re in the middle of a major office renovation/reconfiguration. I’m not great dealing with change at the best of times, and this has been a whole lot of change to deal with all at once. :p Dh is also dealing with a lot of stuff at work.

Yesterday, dh’s uncle (his mother’s sister’s husband) died of a massive heart attack at the age of 70. Not only was he a great guy, fun to be around, he was a real estate & insurance agent who helped us buy our house, and took care of our home & car insurance for us. Who else is going to look after us the way he did?? 🙁 Visitation starts tonight & the funeral is Tuesday. Half the department is on vacation at the moment, & we are incredibly short staffed, but there is no way I can can skip this.

AND, AF picked this weekend to visit. Pass the pitcher, please. :p

14 Pie { 07.10.11 at 1:20 pm }

Wow! 6 months! A Jack-n-Coke please, ’cause I can now have alcohol and caffeine again – hooray!!

It has been a busy 6 months for me, as my daughter turns 6 months old today! After a long road of IVF hell and back to get her, she is now up in her crib napping. Hooray again!

15 VA Blondie { 07.10.11 at 1:24 pm }

It has been a while since the Lushary was open! I would love a glass of Zinfandel. And not the pink stuff! Love me my red wine!

I guess the biggest thing with me has been weaning. I stopped pumping in February, and Little Guy has continually dropped feedings every since. He now does not nurse during the day at all. We nurse a couple of times at night, and that is about it.

I finally had to admit to myself that he is almost done nursing. I even broke out a non-nursing bra today! I am fortunate in that my old bras still fit! Hooray!

I also finally bit the bullet and joined a mother’s group. So far, it has been a fantastic experience. The other mothers in the group are really nice, and it gives me a chance to get out with my son. Who really needs the activity!

16 a { 07.10.11 at 1:33 pm }

I’ll take some wine! We’re off to CA for vacation this week, so I’ll begin as I mean to go on.

Sounds like it’s been a rough 6 months out there. I hope the next 6 months go more smoothly (and successfully) for everyone.

17 Warrior Woman { 07.10.11 at 1:42 pm }

I’ll take an ice cold virgin mojito. I’m happy to report in the last 6 months our injectibles+IUI treatments were successful and I’m currently 21 weeks pregnant with a baby boy! We’ve had some scares, but baby boy is doing quite well and we’re still shocked and thrilled that it finally happened for us. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything continues to go smoothly and we’ll finally get our take home baby. 🙂

18 Chickenpig { 07.10.11 at 1:50 pm }

Hey, Mel, you didn’t mention what you’re drinking 🙂 How is that sequel to Life From Scratch coming? And what is your title going to be?

19 Seriously?! { 07.10.11 at 2:18 pm }

I was wondering when the bar would be open again!!!

I’ll take an apple martini. I’m in the mood to celebrate. One year of blogging for me TODAY! What a perfect time to have a delicious drink with my favourite girls!

From my final loss, to lab fuck ups, to embracing adoption, I’m still here…wearing fabulous heels I might add. I hope the wait isn’t too long as I may have to switch into a pair of flats. But don’t worry, I’m feeling pretty flashy these days. They’ll definitely have a bit of sparkle too. 😉

Mmm. I love me a good drink with my girls!

20 Mrs. Gamgee { 07.10.11 at 2:26 pm }

Yay for the Lushary!

While I really could use a stiff drink today, I have a to do list a mile and a half long, so perhaps a Re.d Bu.ll would be more appropriate.

The last six months have been an adventure. PPD, breastfeeding issues and cabin fever during an extra long winter all made the first part of this year difficult. Losing and regaining my bloggity mojo created a challenge. Now coming to terms with the financial realities of becoming a single income household… oy!

But vacation looms ahead of us, and I have a ton of prep to do between now and next Saturday, including all my Summer Camp posts for while I’m away. Okanagan here we come!

21 Marissa { 07.10.11 at 3:25 pm }

I’m 6 weeks pregnant with twins, following 2 fresh and 2 frozen cycles and a miscarriage at 8 weeks. I’m excited but also a bit overwhelmed. I’m also terrified–although my first ultrasound looked great, these next 2 weeks will be difficult. To say I’m haunted by my previous loss is an understatement. I could use a nice, stiff drink, but I’ll be responsible and only engage in that in the virtual world.

22 Meim { 07.10.11 at 3:35 pm }

Chocolate milk, please. You can get that at a virtual bar, right?

3 days left until DH goes in for surgery on his right ankle. Stress is running rampant at my house. My worst fear is that we won’t make it to the hospital in time if little EJ comes early (Dr. thinks she could be here in as little as 2 1/2 weeks). We only have until Wednesday night to get everything ready for her big debut, not to mention getting everything done before LJ goes back to school. Seriously, freaking out here.

23 Elizabeth { 07.10.11 at 3:40 pm }

Oh how I missed the Lushary! I kept meaning to ask when it would be re-opened. This was my “gateway drug” into IF blogging some 5 years ago… a lot of changes since then, wow.

Ok, I’ll have something cold and pomegranate.

In the last six months we moved, I had a SAHM identity crisis, and re-initiated work on my dissertation. Also got AF back post-partum and a few conversation with DH about family building. For me, I’m DONE. He likes leaving doors open.

24 Esperanza { 07.10.11 at 3:49 pm }

Oh! This is my first Lushary. I would like a Mojito please and make sure there’s another waiting behind the bar for me. The past six months have had a lot of ups and downs. My daughter turned one and continues to be the light of my life. Those are obviously HUGE ups. The downs are smaller but many. Parenthood has been rough on my relationship. I’m not feeling very fulfilled at my teaching job but am realizing I will be teaching for the rest of my life. After taking a hard look at our finances it’s obvious that my partner needs to get a new job but he is bitter and resentful that he can’t make the kind of money he needs to make while doing something he loves. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I cannot stay home for even one year if we are lucky enouh to have another baby. Basically we have the family we’ve wanted but continue to struggle financially and with issues of identity in our personal and profession lives, not to mention our relationship. Also I’m longing for female friends that I can actually, physically share a drink with. Not that this isn’t wonderful but you know what I mean. So yeah, life is more complicated than I expected it to be, and I have it so much easier than most. I wish I could buy all these lovel ladies a couple of rounds. I really truly do.

25 Becky { 07.10.11 at 4:03 pm }

I’ll pull up a chair to my first lushary, and order a rum and diet coke, minus the rum (breastfeeding and all…).

Well, the last 6 months have been woefully lacking in sleep. Baby E is 9.5 months old, and still only sleeps in 2-3 hours stretches. But, considering the wait for him (we waited almost 2 years for him to be born – adoption), I’ll take it. I’m thrilled at how well breastfeeding is going and am excited to continue our bf relationship as long as he wants to 🙂

However, the last week has been a horrible one. Hubby’s mother was killed in a freak traffic accident in Ireland last Saturday and we just buried her yesterday. Ours was a complicated relationship and I have a lot of regrets and guilt about things I wish I had/hadn’t said to her. And helping hubby and our 5yo grieve on top of that…(sigh) Count me as one physically tired and emotionally exhausted momma.

26 Geochick { 07.10.11 at 5:53 pm }

I’ll take a nice tall glass of bubbly champagne to finally celebrate our placement with a baby boy. The past 6 months were extremely difficult as our adoption wait dragged on and on and on. In the middle of June however, it all changed and now we are happily adjusting to life with a little one.

Maybe I should have a cappucino instead…

27 It Is What It Is { 07.10.11 at 11:16 pm }

I’m drinking Skinnygirl margaritas these days (but will share with all of you the BEST sangria recipe EVER: http://tinyurl.com/5ss8qlt).

In the last six months, our son (IVF/PGD) turned 4, I turned 45, we’ve continued our wait for a domestic adoption match, my husband got a promotion, we bought a new house, and got another dog (rescued an IG).

At this moment in time, I am struggling with my very fractured relationship with my narcissistic mother (and reeling from a conversation we just had) so, I’ve finished my 1st Skinnygirl. Thank you, ma’am, may I have another?

28 Pam { 07.10.11 at 11:47 pm }

I don’t usually come out to the bar, but I could use a drink today. I’ll take a frozen strawberry daquiri please. It’s damned hot here.

Last night my FIL past away after a lengthy stay in hospital. As well, my DH’s cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer three months ago. A month ago, when my FIL was in the hospital she found out it had spread to her spine and that it was inoperable. and she was now stage 4.

2011 has not been a good year. Hopefully we get to our final DE FET in the next couple of months and that will change the direction of this year.

29 Farah { 07.11.11 at 12:04 am }

I haven’t been to the bar in a while but appreciate this chance to mosey back onto the bar stool. I recently started writing on my blog again. I have a 3 yr old (holy cow) and an 18 mon old and I am STILL in shock that I am parenting Much less parenting 2. We recently decided to up and move out of a terribly hostile rental to bunk w my parents. WOW, that’s a whole lot of challenges w/in itself since my mother’s mental health is wavering every hour (bi-polar) and my father is working 3 part time jobs to keep money in the bank since my mother is no longer able to hold down a job. We are also trying to clean up our credit ( we never pulled and examined it in yrs) and are trying to tidy it up and qualify to buy a house of our own Very soon.

30 Barely Sane { 07.11.11 at 12:26 am }

My first time participating and I will take a bacon martini, extra spicy (and yes, there really is such a thing – think bloody mary/ceasar).

I turned 40 – just this June. It was a rough go. And I’m coming to grips that my baby is heading to kindergarten in the fall. I barely held it together when she graduated pre-school.
I’ve had a number of friends get pregnant and I’m happy to report that the IF scars are healing quite nicely. It’s refreshing to participate in the mom talk and hold the babies without feeling that sense of loss that plagued me for so long.

31 What IF? { 07.11.11 at 1:45 am }

1st time at the Lushary. This occasion calls for a gin & tonic, please. Our triplets are a year and a half, and we thought moving to another state over the Independence holiday weekend sounded like a smashing little plan. Our stupidity and rampant optimism clearly knows no bounds. I’m trying on the identity of being a SAHM, and attempting to figure out what that even means. If anyone knows how to do “SAHM” instead of career, drop me a line ’cause I’m in the dark on how this is supposed to work.

32 Mina { 07.11.11 at 3:45 am }

Oooooooh, lushary, how I’d miss thee… I’ve been meaning to ask about your reopening, but my goldfish attention span could no help me follow through.

Soooo, line up the bottles and let’s get creative. Until we get one good recipe for tonight, let’s gey everyone a kir royale, the good bubbly could use some cassis freshen up.

Last six months? Hmm, I can tell you easily what I haven’t been doing, and that is sleep. My boy is eleven months today (holly cannoli, when did that happen?) and no, he is not sleeping through the night. At best, we’re getting two hours of quiet. It is exhausting. We’ve been to doctors, they say he’s fine, osteopaths said he had somthing and now is fixed (don’t get me started), cio is not really working for us, because when he starts crying, the tension builds up and up and he throws up and it’s horrible (to use words, because really, the are no words for this). So yeah, this is what I have been doing. I wish coffee could help me stay awake, but it never did.

In June I celebrated 5 years of marriage, two years of blogging and commemorated two years since the miscarriage, all by doing absolutely nothing.

We decided to look for a house to rent. If anyone suggests we should buy instead of rent, because it is so much more logical, they will do that with a lisp, because I am starting pulling out teeth. Barehanded. Or fork out the downpayment I need to buy a house. Whichever.

Because I am tired, I lack energy and try to boost it up with food or sweets. I know, not very smart, but i feel drained all the time… All I do is boost up the lack, not the energy.

But I should point out that I AM aware that this is just a phase. He will learn to sleep in the end. I am very happy and could not ask for anything else. I know that if the sleep got better overnight sort of speak, somthing else would go sour. Because this is life, isn’t it? So if anything has to go not so great, sleep is fine with me.

33 Mina { 07.11.11 at 3:48 am }

See how much I missed lushary? I am a lot of thing, but certainly NOT concise…

The typos are not my fault, tablet keyboard ate my letters. Darn contraption!

34 JustHeather { 07.11.11 at 6:52 am }

Mel, you are just the coolest!! This is my first visit to the bar, but I’m so glad to be here! I sure miss hanging out with friends. I don’t like alcohol, so I’ll have some hot tea! (A bartender once laughed when I specified that I wanted ‘hot’ tea, as opposed to..? Cold tea, I told him. This happened in Finland and I was thinking of iced tea in the good ol’ south in the US. lol)

My heart goes out to everyone else who has also recently lost a loved one. My mom died 3 weeks ago, unexpectedly of a heart attack. She was 53. My DH and I had a whirlwind trip to the US for her beautiful memorial. Some days are harder than others, today seems to be a more difficult one. This loss has also made me dislike doing dishes, taking showers, walks alone, etc because it gives me time to let my mind wander and it almost always seems to wander in the direction of my mom. My mom’s death has also thrown me for a loop with regards to female roles of grandma/mom/children. I totally regret (for lack of a better word) not being able to give her a grandchild before she left us. (that’s a blog post to come.)

As for other things going on in my life right now, we’re on summer break from IF treatments (it’s a good thing and a frustrating thing) as my clinic closes during July. My 3rd IVF (w/possible ICSI) is tentatively scheduled for early Sept, but due to a work trip, I have to tell my clinic that it needs to be rescheduled. I hope we might be able to get in an FET with our last embryo before the trip. Timing…

This month marks 13 years of my husband and I being together (5 married), 12 years of me living in Finland and my 35th year alive on this planet. The start of my 3 week summer holidays starts in 2 weeks and work will continue to be totally insane before that and after that. We’ve also recently bought half a duplex, that is being built and wont’ be ready for another 11 months or so. Money is a concern, especially with that unexpected trip to the US and DH still not working.

Ack, I think I should just turn all of this into a blog post on my own blog. lol

35 April { 07.11.11 at 8:26 am }

Since December, we’ve been diagnosed with MFI, had no cycles because I’ve got a broken ear and will need surgery, and planned our trip to WDW which happens next week and I’ve not even started packing yet. After vacation and my surgery, we will be getting back on the proverbial horse and starting tratments again.

36 JDragonfly { 07.11.11 at 9:29 am }

The past six months have been very eventful for me… My husband and I decided to start trying to conceive in January, naively thinking that we could plan when and how it all happened. I was diagnosed over ten years ago (at 18yo) with endo but nevertheless optimistically believed seven months ago that TTC would be fun – and a breeze. But, in those seven months, my cycles have gotten progressively worse from the endo each month and we were quickly referred to an RE. We’ve since faced a lump in my breast (fortunately mammogram was clear but we had to skip the cycle), a cyst that’s wrapped around my entire left ovary, a cycle with Femara that my RE mistimed so I ovulated before we could do the IUI, and finally IUI #1 on June 29th which, yes, puts me in the 2 week wait… I’m already weary, and resources are limited so if this IUI isn’t successful I think we’ll have one more shot right now and then will have to wait.

Oh, and I’ll have some orange juice with a prenatal because I’m still that optimistic… If just a little battered too.

37 Gail { 07.11.11 at 9:58 am }

Thanks for opening the bar again, Mel. I forgot how fun this is! I’ll take a mix of orange and pineapple juice. I am officially in the 2 week wait (again) after over 2 years of TTC. I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility and have been taking Clomid the last 2 months. I scheduled a massage for my ovulation day this month and hope that it helped me relax enough for the magic to happen because that is the only way I have left to describe it – magic. Lord knows that nothing else has helped, so maybe some good ole’ David Copperfield or David Blane will do the trick! (If only that were possible.)

38 Searching for Serenity { 07.11.11 at 11:10 am }

A virtual GNO? Yes please.
After years of IF, one pregnancy followed by 9 months of pumping, then trying for #2 which ended tragically, I’m offically taking the summer off and enjoying a cold beverage on a regular basis. Pour me a cold crisp cider, please&thank you.

39 JDragonfly { 07.11.11 at 2:46 pm }

How do you all stop yourselves from taking home pregnancy tests *absurdly* early? I just took one (in the office bathroom no less) and of course it was negative… I’m only on cycle day 24, and my IUI wasn’t even two weeks ago! I’m really developing TTC OCD – HELP!

40 NotTheMama { 07.11.11 at 7:04 pm }

Oh, I’ll take something – anything – with a shot of long-lasting energy, and go ahead and throw in a little something for a monster migraine while you’re at it! Since it’s virtual, can’t it be an apothecary too? 😉 We’re one final visit away from being done with everything we need to do for adopting through our county/state. Need to focus this week on cleaning and tidying up!

41 Peg { 07.11.11 at 8:20 pm }

I am the 40 year old mother of five…although only 3 are our biologically. My sister and her husband were killed in a car accident and we are now guardians to my two nieces. We’ve gone from all boys to girls. 3 kids to 5. I’m trying daily to re-find the fun in life and try to be the best mom, wife, aunt and sister I can be. So this last year has been a real challenge but we try to take one day at a time around here. We also got a new fire bellied toad today named Rex! See things are getting better 🙂

I would also give anything for a draft guinness…yummmmm…..

42 iamvulnerable { 07.11.11 at 11:39 pm }

I was just thinking about the Lushary the other day, wondering when it would open up again. So well timed, Mel!

Life is full and mostly wonderful – parenting our boy, part time work, throwing a bridal blessingway for my sister, helping out my grandparents whose health has been increasingly bad lately (I said *mostly* wonderful, though being with people near the end of their lives has its sweetness, too), getting ready for my whole family to descend in a few weeks for my sister’s wedding, trying to keep my local IF support group running, gardening…and all the rest of life. Our son is going to be 2 in November and I’d like to start trying to get pregnant again soon, though the prospect of treatments is less than thrilling. A few kinks in this plan are that my period still hasn’t come back – I’m on the long end of normal for lactational amenorrhea, apparently – and just my general lack of desire to get back into the ups and downs of cycling. I think it will feel different this time – before our boy was born, I could never imagine not having more than one child, but now I know that I could make peace with it without too much of a struggle. Though I say that without having embarked on further conception attempts, so I reserve the right to change my mind on that.

Anyway, I’ve been quiet on both my own blog and in comments lately, but I cherish this community and hold so many of you in my heart every day. I send each of you – old friends and new ones – much love and my wishes for all the healing you need and all the joy you can possibly handle.

Oh, and I’ll have a mint julep, please. It’s been stinking hot here for a few weeks and I think a mint julep would be quite delightful. Though I’ve never had one in real life…

43 Finding My New Normal { 07.12.11 at 5:56 am }

First time here, I’ll have a glass of wine please. I may be cycling, but I can still drink,,,, for now.

The last 6 months have been a whirlwind. I am still grieving the loss of my first born son who was stillborn. In one month it will be a year since I got the news. I can’t even think that far ahead though because so much is going on.

We have moved to a new place, the hubby has gotten a promotion at work. And we’re in the middle of our first donor egg IVF cycle.

We are currently on holiday in Spain where I am injecting myself with hormones. We get back later this week and our transfer is scheduled for the very beginning of August. It’s all surreal at the moment.

Thanks for listening.

44 LC { 07.12.11 at 10:01 am }

Since this is virtual, I’ll take something nice and sweet with plenty of alcohol that doesn’t taste like it.

My munchkin is now two months old and went in for her first vaccines yesterday (hence the need for a nice drink, even if it’s virtual). She’s doing ok, but wants to snuggle a lot more than before. I really hope this is over soon. Only Mommy will do, which definitely made my DH feel like he was doing something wrong last night.

Oh, and I’d like a nap…. Please?

45 bad mummy { 07.12.11 at 3:17 pm }

Will take several large glasses of wine. My 2.7 month year old adopted daughter won’t sleep and I am hallucinating through sleep deprivation plus having to go to work!

46 JustHeather { 07.12.11 at 3:26 pm }

JDragonfly, I find that if I don’t have HPT tests in the house, I can’t test early. Also, some months are just easier to not test than others. I hope that you at least have access to cheapies if you’re going to be testing early. 😉 (I bought a few dollar store tests when I was in the US recently.)

47 TasIVFer { 07.13.11 at 2:34 am }

Despite the fact it’s winter here in Tasmania, I’d really like something icy and limey and alcoholic. Because I’ve spent these last 6 months since you last gave me a chance to consume virtual alcohol in the most unlikely way: I’ve been pregnant. It’s been terrifying, it’s been upsetting, I’ve been a psycho freak. But here I am not wat 35 weeks – still pregnant, apparently everything still fine. He might have the genes of an anonymous donor, but I’ve been the one to nurture and feed the growth of all but those first couple cells. I’m the one who frets over him, is terrified to prepare a room for him or have clothes, etc. I need this drink to get me through this final stretch!

48 Gil { 07.13.11 at 10:19 am }

I’m not in the best of places at the moment, so something strong, fizzy and colourful please. I dare you to try to get me outta this funk.

On the IF front, the clinic in Montreal is messing up too badly; we’re going to go back to the old one if I have anything to say about it.

That is, if we do IVF/ICSI again at all. Hubby’s problems at school lead to leaving school and then a new job… and even that’s not secure yet.

His 16-year old daughter’s antics are driving me mad. Suffice it to say, they involve self-inflicted harm, psychologists, therapists and a mother who’s far too damn lenient.

Hubby being in school for almost three years meant that I was taking care of finances and bearing the burden. I just don’t have an endless supply of money and his new job isn’t paying enough to help. So he’s looking at credit counselling. I wonder where that 10K for the IVF is gonna come from… but if we’re gonna do it, I need to jump on it soon. At 41, I have precious little time.

Our van died in February or March. Then the dishwasher died. Then my clothes dryer died. Please God, is that enough? It happens in threes right?

On the positive side: my sis had a baby boy on May 31. I get to fly home with Petite and see my sis and the baby in August. Another plus: we’re going camping in about 10 days. But this year, minus hubby (see above re: new job) and likely, minus his daughter (again, see above re: self-inflicted harm). Petite and I will go with a girlfriend and her daughter, to be joined by Hubby as he can. I have a new tent and more space to work with, but it promises to be crazy with an almost 2-year old. Oh, and Petite will be 2 at the end of August so a birthday party is a must.

I haven’t written much on the blog lately; I’m not in the right frame of mind to do it. But this year is sorta sucking. I have to hope that it gets better. *sighs* Thanks for opening the Lushary Mel. I needed that drink. One more please?

49 Misfit { 07.13.11 at 11:22 pm }

I’ll have a dark and stormy. I missed the lushary so!

Two normal scans for our last pregnancy were followed by a chromosomally normal loss. So far and yet so close on lucky seven. It seems to have been a hard few months for folks and you’ve got a crowd, just holler and I’ll give you a hand at the bar.

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