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342nd Friday Blog Roundup

My birthday has sort of sneaked up on me this year.  I had to look at the calendar yesterday and noticed that my birthday is next week.  Which freaks the crap out of me as it always does.

The kids have returned to watching Free to Be You And Me at night.  Josh got home early last night as we were watching the song “I’d Rather Be the Sun” and commented that the creators of all the child-like drawings are now paunchy middle-agers like ourselves.  And I suddenly got this sick feeling of how there would be a day that we would no longer be here, but kids in the future would be watching this video and seeing drawings created by people who are now dead.

Which isn’t that unique — many things we look at are created by people who are no longer around — but it was mind-blowing.  This idea of no longer being here.  Of how art can trap time.

Please don’t wish me happy birthday yet.  Give me my last few days ignoring the fact that I’m aging another year.

Josh and I are getting a date this weekend in honour of my birthday.  I’ve chosen to go to the aquarium because nothing says romance like breathing in the stench of the stingray pool.  We’ll see if we can work in a quick make-out session in the shark tank area.  Growl!


Kir asked me to contribute a Proudest Mum Moment to her blog and I agreed simply because she is Kir.  I think she thought I’d tell the Ste.ve Jo.bs story, but this is truly my proudest moment as a parent, and it is a story that everyone who knows me in the face-to-face world would list as my proudest moment because it has been told so many times.

The twins were born prematurely, and as a result, had a compromised immune system.  They were constantly sick in their first year of life, especially — it seemed — when Josh was out of town.  Another important fact to know is that prior to their birth, we had new carpet laid in the living room as well as the entire upstairs (sans bathrooms since that would be a bit strange).  I love this carpet, and we ask that people take off their shoes when they’re in the house in an attempt to keep it clean.

At the time this story begins, the carpet is a year old.  It is still in mint condition.

In February, Josh went to the Berlin Film Festival.  The twins were a little over 6 months old (yes, my proudest parenting moment came early in their life, casting a shadow over all that could possibly come in the future).  I was sitting on the sofa, holding the ChickieNob, who was sick (yet again) while my mother held the Wolvog (who was also sick).

The ChickieNob made a body shudder as if she was about to throw up, something she had done numerous times that day — all luckily over tiled floor or on herself (please don’t judge me on how much I love this carpet).  This time, we were on the sofa, with no time to sweep her out of the room.  In that split second, I said goodbye to the carpet, certain that it would be stained with vomit just as my friend’s carpet was stained by medication-laced vomit.

My ChickieNob, a girl who loves things of beauty, who appreciates room aesthetics, projectile vomited across the room.  The vomit sailed through the air to a chair 4 feet away — 4 FEET AWAY — that had a towel discarded on the seat.  The throw up landed on the towel, and the towel only.  It soared through the air as if all the droplets were magnetically drawn to one another.  There was literally not a single drop on the floor.

Like most moments of parenting pride, it was all left to chance: out of my hands.  I had nothing to do with the wonder that was that projectile vomiting moment, just as I have little to do with the Wolvog’s gift for computers or the ChickieNob’s talent with dance.  But damn, with all they accomplish, there are few things that can hold a candle to vomiting halfway across the room and having it all land on a towel for easy clean-up.

I am only half-kidding with this.


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

As Good as it Gets has a post about happiness this week; namely, how you feel when you get everything you ever wanted.  She asks: “There cannot be any other reason for our existence but to be happy. All we do, every action of ours is in pursuance of happiness.  So why are we never truly and completely happy? Why is there something missing in life, no matter what we achieve or possess?”  I was smiling as I read the last line of the post — everyone should write that way every once in a while.

Bio Girl has a post about the beginning of the end of her infertility journey.  About how there is a peacefulness in knowing that whatever happens, this current cycle will be your last.  How even having a stopping point doesn’t affect the level of hope she feels.  She states: “I hope this peace I have found stays with me. But what I really hope is that I don’t need that peace to calm my breaking heart a month from now. I hope that we just get to be happy.”  It’s beautiful; it’s bittersweet — and I’m sending only good thoughts for the last cycle.

Mommy Odyssey has a post about the void that blogging fills, and I think a lot of people will have her self-realization resonate with them as well.  She explains: “This uncensored, open book. I love Mo. I love her dearly. She is the real me. The essence of who I truly am. And yet, I’m not her in real life. I don’t live up to her. Mo isn’t a persona. She’s not a construction. Mo is the person I aspire to be in real life, but never really get there. I’m more real here than I am with my own freaking mother.”  The post is an astute look at why she loves her blog; why she needs her blog, and why her blog also may be holding her back.  It is about finding that balance — between the thing she needs, but not letting the thing she needs take over her life.  A great post.

Lastly, A Woman My Age has a post about the fantasy life she constructed for herself as a child.  The “real” family who would come fetch her.  The changing colour of her skin and how that would create a cascade effect through the rest of life.  But what twisted my heart was the story that comes in the middle about the little boy’s mother.  About what that woman meant to her as a child and how she never got to tell her.  And how that experience informed her fantasy life.

The roundup to the Roundup: I’m getting old and I’m going on a date.  This is truly my proudest moment.  And lots of great blog posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between May 20 and May 27) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 Kathy { 05.27.11 at 9:41 am }

Okay, then I won’t wish you a happy birthday, yet. 😉 Have fun on your date at the aquarium! Bob and I went to an aquarium the day we got engaged, before he proposed. I don’t know what made me just think of that…

I do really like that proud mommy moment you shared on Kir’s blog! I appreciate what you said about how “Like most moments of parenting pride, it was all left to chance: out of my hands.”

Now for what I found this week:

Here are two links (because it was a two part post) from JJiraffe’s blog Too Many Fish to Fry. In part part she shares about some very dark times in her life and how she is struggling to “become a person whose problems don’t define them.” She ended up seeking guidance and inspiration on Twitter from no other than Deepak Chopra. In part 2 she shares what Chopra tweeted. What struck me as much or more about these two posts, as well written as they are, is the awesome discussion going on in the comment sections of both posts! JJiraffe’s readers have done an amazing job trying to help our friend make sense of and process all of this. So get yourself a cup of tea (you can go back to Mel’s post requesting recommendations for ideas of what to have) and make yourself comfortable, as reading these two posts and all of the comments will take awhile. But I promise it will be time in your life very well spent.

Part 1: http://jjiraffe.wordpress.com/2011/05/23/what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-me-anyway-and-what-deepak-chopra-had-to-say-about-it-part-one/

Part 2: http://jjiraffe.wordpress.com/2011/05/24/what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-me-anyway-and-what-deepak-chopra-had-to-say-about-it-part-two/

2 Delenn { 05.27.11 at 9:44 am }

I always think of a George Carlin skit where he talks about watching a movie and says — Hey, that guy is dead! We are watching a dead guy! (yep, Carlin helps me with perspective on this stuff–and he’s a dead guy!)

Loved your proud mommy moment…here’s to many more!

3 Gail { 05.27.11 at 9:50 am }

Here is a link to the “Three Times the Fun” blog. The Bissing family is in the process of saying good-bye to one of their triplet boys, Owen. They need lots of love right now. http://bissingfamily.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/little-warrior/

4 Sarah { 05.27.11 at 10:35 am }

Thank you so much for including me in the Round up! How exciting! Thank you for your support in this cycle.


5 HereWeGoAJen { 05.27.11 at 12:34 pm }

I keep forgetting to keep posts in my head for this, but eventually I will get into the habit. Here are my two for the week.

http://mrsspit.ca/?p=2618 Mrs. Spit wrote a beautiful letter of advice to her niece for her high school graduation.

http://stilllifewithcircles.blogspot.com/2011/05/right-where-i-am-project-two-years-five.html Angie started a project where people talk about where they are in their grief and what it is like now. Angie’s post is wonderful, but there are also links to many other wonderful posts there.

Also, I appreciate a baby with good vomit skills. The other day, Elizabeth threw up only down my shirt. A towel would have been much better, but at least I didn’t have to clean up the chair or the floor where we were.

6 Tigger { 05.27.11 at 2:24 pm }

I saw the XKCD when it was published and was instantly reminded of my early TTC days. I spent a lot of time (a LOT) on the TTC:Just Starting Out board on WebMD. There was a girl that popped in and posted “I think I’m pregnant but I’m not sure. How do I use a pregnancy test? Do I pee on it or put it in my mouth?” Turns out she was serious…and I had a very hard time not telling her to do the former and then the latter. I’m a bad person.

7 Kymberli { 05.27.11 at 3:21 pm }

Deathstar’s post was one that resonated with me this week, too. I need to get over there and tell her why.

Tigger above – SMH about the pregnancy test.

8 MommyOdyssey { 05.27.11 at 5:07 pm }

I think that’s the best projectile vomiting story ever! Thanks so much for including me in the round-up. I’m honored. 🙂

9 a { 05.27.11 at 10:43 pm }

That is a fantastic story! My proudest parenting moment was when I realized that I have actually managed to teach my daughter something – she knows to hold on to the ends of her long sleeves when she’s putting on her coat so her sleeves don’t bunch up.

10 a { 05.27.11 at 10:50 pm }

This was quite a striking post:


11 St. Elsewhere { 05.28.11 at 1:50 am }

Lovely story there, Mel! And Happy Birthday in advance!

I read Chhandita’s post, and love her voice. She has her tune and she is forthcoming about it!

12 Colorado Dreamer { 05.28.11 at 10:28 am }
13 Bionic Baby Mama { 05.30.11 at 1:58 pm }

Mrs. Spit has had several amazing posts this week; I especially liked this one: http://mrsspit.ca/?p=2602 It is about taking special care of children when one has no obligation to do so: greater love hath no one than the non-parent who goes to Chuckee Cheese….

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