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329th Friday Blog Roundup

On Thursday, I went to get the mail, and there was a package in my mailbox.  I was, you see, expecting a package — a book — from Barnes and Noble.  But the package was from Amazon so I had a moment of weirdness where I stood there and tried to make sense of it.  The package didn’t feel quite like a paperback book, but I had never seen said book so perhaps it came with a plastic-y cover.

I opened it right there by the mailbox because what else do you do when your book arrives from the wrong company?  Though it wasn’t my book at all.  It was the fifth season of Family Ties.

And I started bawling.

See, I didn’t even need to watch the DVD.

It all comes down to being heard.  And when you are heard so enormously like I was this week — a tiny admittance at the end of a post — you bawl at the mailbox.  Because that act of leaving a comment, of sending an email, of sending someone the episode of Family Ties that they mentioned at the end of the post is just an extension of a hug; of wrapping your arms around the person with a simple “me too” or “go ahead and cry” or most commonly — “I just wanted you to know that someone heard you.”

Baby Smiling in Back Seat heard me.  And like a fairy godmother, she granted my wish.

And I got to have a good cry; times two.


Part of kindergarten is apparently honing your comedic skills, and every day, a child is chosen to tell a joke.  The ChickieNob takes this very very seriously.  She will not perform anyone else’s material — the girl writes her own jokes.  When she tells me this, it makes her sound as if she is two seconds away from composing her own version of the Aristocrats.  One day, you will turn on Comedy Central and she will be there, chomping on a cigar with Denis Leary (in her two pigtails), reciting her own tale of debauchery.

Er… you may not want to watch this at work.  I mean, I watch this at work, but I work from home.  So…

She came home this week upset because her act fell flat.  She wanted me to try it out on you because she thinks she has written something amazing, and it’s everyone else who just.doesn’t.get.it.  So this is the ChickieNob’s joke (and it is more appropriate for all offices):

What instrument does a cow play?

A moo bass.

She further explained that “a moo bass” was the punchline, though she feared that the reason that her class didn’t laugh was that they didn’t understand that some of her favourite opening bass lines sound like the lowing of a cow.  She told me that she knew that there wasn’t a problem with her joke, but was it possible that her classmates didn’t listen to the same music?

Please, please, for the love, please don’t ask her why the punchline wasn’t something like, “a horn.”  I asked this.  It was a big mistake.  Ditto “a cow bell” and “a moooooooooooooooooooooog.”


Instead of the Weekly What If: Tell your favourite joke.  Or, at the very least, post a link to something on the Web that makes you laugh.


And now, the blogs…

Infertile Fantasies’ birth story was crazy enough that I had to call Josh mid-day to tell him about it.  I seriously can’t say anymore without ruining it.

Renovation Girl weighs out the pros of stopping family building.  She holds the cons at bay with one hand and gives herself a full post to think about what she gains by stopping.  It is a bittersweet list; a bittersweet post — to sit with the person at the end of a road.  And just hold her hand.  And listen.

Love, Hope, and Faith has a post about falling in love with a place, a place she couldn’t imagine ever liking as of a few years ago.  It’s not just the photographs; it’s the larger idea that we can grow accustomed to something that didn’t really fit us at first.

Child Bearing Hips has a post that struck home for me about the way she eats (which also happens to be the way I eat…)  She writes: “There is a little voice in my head that tells me I SHOULD be able to eat an ice cream cone and not worry about gaining weight. Which I should… but I take it to a level where I’m wanting that ice cream cone every night. And something else I’ve noticed… I love feeling full. Having a nice, big plate of pasta with eggplant parm and garlic bread – send me to heaven right now.”  Infertility can quite literally bury the emotional eater.  A monthly cycle?  Drenched in anxiety and disappointment?  I feel like infertility is one long marathon of trying to seek comfort.  This post just gave me a lot of food for thought about my own eating habits.

Lastly, Baby Steps to Motherhood has a post about survivor’s guilt.  The three years after her loss were marked by guilt, and a seminar helped her to let go of those feelings and get to a good mental space.  But now that she is there, she is noticing something in regards to her blog.  She writes, “I feel that I have lost readers because I am no longer drowning. I feel as if I have survived the torture and no one wants to hear about how happy I am while I still fight this battle.”  It’s an amazing, raw post.  Please read it in its entirety and give her your thoughts.

The roundup to the Roundup: Hearing someone and letting them know it is pretty much the best gift you can give.  The ChickieNob’s joke.  Please leave your own joke or favourite link to something funny.  And lots of great blogs to read.


1 BigP's Heather { 02.25.11 at 8:02 am }

My current favorite joke:
Why did the Chef get arrested?
He beat an egg.

2 Gail { 02.25.11 at 9:51 am }

My favorite kid-friendly joke:
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

My favorite joke about physicists (since I’m married to one):
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your girlfriend for an entire week.”
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The man said, “Look, I’m a physicist. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool.”

3 magpie { 02.25.11 at 10:13 am }

A skeleton walks into a bar and says “I’ll have a beer and a mop”.

4 Lori Lavender Luz { 02.25.11 at 11:02 am }

I *knew* before you said who sent it who sent it. That Cassandra.

You are both so special.

Love that ChickieNob, too 🙂

5 m. { 02.25.11 at 11:12 am }

what’s red and invisible?

no tomatoes

6 Mary { 02.25.11 at 11:58 am }

When I was little, my favorite joke was….
Two elephants were sitting in a bathtub.
The first elephant says to the second, “Excuse me, but could you please pass me the soap?”
The second elephant responds (delivered vehemently), “What do you think I am? A radio??

Here’s a better one. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically,
I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God
is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will
have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “Watson, you dunderhead. Someone has stolen
our tent.”

7 Marissa { 02.25.11 at 12:37 pm }

My favorite jokes are all pretty scandalous. My favorite tame joke is:

What did one leg say to the other?

“Don’t talk to that short guy in the middle. He’s a real dick.”

8 HereWeGoAJen { 02.25.11 at 2:03 pm }

Why do penguins sit on marshmallows?

To keep from falling into the hot chocolate.

I don’t know why that is my favorite joke, but it SO is.

9 Emily { 02.25.11 at 2:18 pm }

10 Betty M { 02.25.11 at 2:50 pm }

What do cows eat for breakfast?
And hundreds of other cow themed jokes from my daughter’s cow joke book…..

11 a { 02.25.11 at 4:35 pm }

@Mary – my dad told us that joke and I used it FOREVER! No one gets it (since there’s nothing to get), and watching the ensuing confusion is hilarious.

My favorite jokes are:
Why did the guy get fired from his job at the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn’t concentrate.


A guy walks into the doctor’s office with a frog on his head. He sits down and waits for the doctor. The doctor comes in and says to the guy “What seems to be the problem?” And the frog says “I can’t get this guy off my ass!”

12 Cece { 02.25.11 at 5:44 pm }

Thanks for the nod on my post – food stuff is just so hard. What started to kick me out of my funk was a friend who is in great shape but doesn’t seem to work that hard at it said – I’d rather eat a little less or pass on dessert than be wasting my life at a doctors office later on (which is where I am headed at this point, I’m afriad)

I can’t think of any jokes right now! Augh!

13 ebc { 02.25.11 at 7:41 pm }

Love your point about hearing someone and letting them know it–so very important and encouraging!

Fav joke: What was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 (read: ate) 9. Ahahah. Gets me every time 🙂

14 Tara { 02.25.11 at 7:46 pm }

What did the Ghost say to the Bee?

Boo Bee

LOL!! Makes me giggle EVERY time!!!

15 mrs spock { 02.25.11 at 8:14 pm }

Awwww…how kind!

16 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 02.25.11 at 11:49 pm }

You are so absolutely welcome, my dear.

17 sushigirl { 02.26.11 at 11:17 am }

What did the depressed poo do?

Committed sewer-cide.

Boom boom!

18 edenland { 02.26.11 at 4:21 pm }

Did you hear about the crab who went to the crustacean ball?

He pulled a muscle and went home.

19 Jendeis { 02.26.11 at 7:58 pm }

Why do they only eat one egg for breakfast in France?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

20 RenovationGirl { 02.26.11 at 8:47 pm }

My favorite joke as a kid was:

What do you call a wet puppy?

A soggy doggy!!!! (Hopefully, my humor has become more refined…)

21 coffeegrl { 02.26.11 at 11:41 pm }

Love , love, love that you got Family Ties in the mail and felt validated and listened to. Something funny….
pretty much any joke told by a 3 year old child. They’re still trying to understand that there IS a punchline and everything gets all blurby. For example, “Knock, knock – BANANA!” ha ha ha

22 Kristin (kekis) { 02.27.11 at 3:25 pm }

What a wonderful and thoughtful gift. That definitely brings on a cry before watching and after.

Well, to be honest (vs. being a liar), my joke is highly inappropriate – *might* be something about a midget with a lisp and a horse – plus it’s much more enjoyable heard aloud vs. in text. Use your imagination or meet me for a glass of wine someday.

23 TasIVFer { 02.28.11 at 1:47 am }

I can’t tell a joke; in fact it would be quite difficult because I don’t think I know any! But this is what makes me laugh: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

24 Bea { 03.16.11 at 7:13 am }

I am only just getting around to this roundup. Hey – I’m on it! You really had to call Josh about it? I am flattered. I guess. I’ll have to think about that one. I don’t really aspire to drama, usually.

Hey – I just found out the other day. Mr Bea can’t even remember the spider part. Apparently, when he removed it, his mind was so firmly on other things that it didn’t even store the event in his memory of that night. I cannot believe he forgot the spider. To me, it was so amazingly… incongruous or… bizarre in some way… that it was one of the more memorable parts. To him, apparently, meh, a spider, gone, moving on.


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